True Life: I'm A Mary Sue
By Fiji Mermaid
Disclaimer: Sally and Ribena are the only things owned by ME. I also own the MSP-the Mary Sue Police. Dun dun dunnnn. This is a new chapter. I have no idea what happened to my original. Flipping The Beginning
Sally was sitting at her computer, trying to write an essay on the political movement to end oppression of the people's of Turhirkmasiktan, or something like that. And was Sally diligently working away at her essay like the good little student she wasn't? No, she was reading fanfiction and writing nasty reviews of every Mary-Sue she could find in the King Arthur arena.
"Oh my lord, is she serious? How many times can you swear in one sentence? She's so going to get it from me."
Sally tippity tapped away at her computer as the sun set outside her window.
"Honestly, why does everyone think that they'd just join in on battles and start making out with the knights? I'd totally need to change my pants and get some Xanax if I just fell out of the sky and landed in olden times. Gawd, friggin idiots."
Sally eventually finished her tirade and turned her computer off so she could get some sleep. She twirled around in her desk chair to get up and change when her computer beeped.
"What the? I just turned you off, stupid."
Sally pressed the "off" button on her computer and felt a peculiar sucking sensation at her feet.
"Hey, that tickles. Are there mice in this flat?"
Sally bent under her desk to see what was there and saw a flash of blinding light. She traveled through space and time, feeling much like Alice in Wonderland. She landed on a grassy knoll with a thump.
"ugh, nothing like lanfding in a huge pile of irony to put you in a bad mood," she grumbled.
Sally dusted herself off and checked for broken bones before decieding to wander off in a random direction to look for signs of civilization.
"it doesn't look like I've landed in Jurassic times so I don't think I have to worry about dinosaurs eating me. But I really have no idea where I am."
Sally trudged along and finally came to a river. She knelt down to get a drink and gasped.
"Someone's following me…" she trailed off.
Sally looked around her, trying to find the red-haired girl that was reflected in the river.
"I guess I'm just seeing things."
Sally turned back to the river and the full force of her predicament hit her.
"Oh no, why have my boobs suddenly grown to epic proportions and why is my hair redder than Lindsey Lohan's? I'm, I'm a M Mary-Sue." Sally screeched the last sentence and ended with a howl that made birds fly out of the trees and deer freeze where they were standing.
"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"