It's an odd feeling Natalia feels when looking at Toris. Frustration is the main emotion. Disgust underlies that. And at the core, there's the slightest feeling of nostalgia. Looking him in the eyes, this feeling blurs and dissipates. She only feels it when seeing him from a distance or when his back is turned to her. Whenever his eyes lock with her own he gets that stupid flush on his cheeks and his eyes tend to slip over to the side. It sickens her. She knows in her mind the reason why he does this, but part of her almost feels that perhaps its guilt. Maybe that's just how she wants him to feel when he looks at her.
He is but a shell of what once was to her. As is, Toris, is nothing. A passing memory. Insignificant. Something that was never meant to last, as nothing ever truly does. The Grand Duchy of Lithuania no longer exists. Her ties to the Duchy no longer exist. That period of time is over. Just as her respect for him is dead. Perhaps whom he once was back then is dead as well. With the way this Toris carries himself…it was certainly plausible. Was this what it was like to be broken?
Perhaps Natalia was too. White Ruthenia, Belaya Rus', neither of those exist. She is called White Russia or West Russia now. Titles she carries with almost a sense of pride. In this union with her brother, her siblings are those who are most important, those who matter. There were a few exceptions, a few others whom were also of the superior, if you will, people of the Soviet. But really, this was just to show who was valuable and who was not. To Natalia, the only one who was truly important was her brother, Russia.
The way her brother carried himself almost made her tremble, her heart set aflame. He could destroy her and she would be content. He was her everything. She loved him with all of her meaningless being.
Her feelings for him upon her arrival were not so pleasant. The Partitions of Poland were when she felt her world crumbling apart. But, she was not exactly happy with things as they were as a part of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. Or rather, just the Kingdom of Poland as far as she saw it. Feliks walked all over Toris in the later years of the union. He cared for nothing but himself. A selfish, miserable nation. How Toris could allow that was beyond her at the time, but now, in retrospect, she sees this as why he has become like he is now. Perhaps that was when he was beginning to fall from grace.
Natalia closes her eyes, glove clad finger running about the rim of her teacup.
"Litva," The word is harsh, but with the way Toris shoots up, one would think she said it in the most adoring way.
"Y-Yes, Miss Belarus?" He asks, his voice drenched with a lovesick tone. Disgusting. She rolls her eyes visibly, but the Lithuanian doesn't seem to notice or is too enamored with her attention to care. She plainly holds the cup out to him, a silent command to take the used porcelain glass out of her possession. Which he immediately understands, rushing to take it from her, his hands slightly shaky as they ever so slightly graze her own. He nods at her with a pleasant smile, before leaving to take care of it.
Good, he was gone now. She didn't want to have to look at him for another minute. Closing her eyes once more, her thoughts wander again. Ah yes, her brother… The way he carries himself was amazing to her. Strong and firm…that aura he had about him as well…she almost felt the fear that people mentioned, trembling down their spines, but then there were those chills. And just the way that her stomach grew warm, fluttering even. The sigh that passes her lips now is pleasant.
Upon her reunion with her brother, she was truly terrified of him, but now…she couldn't imagine feeling that way. So strong, and he truly took care of her. The Union that they forged…she had faith in it. She doubted she would ever see the day that it would crumble. Her brother's dreams…she would make sure they would come true. And if they ever did fall apart…she would help put them back together. Her brother wasn't allowed to be sad, or alone. He had suffered enough. His happiness was all that mattered to her now. To see his heart break, his dreams shatter…that would be the day her world would fall apart again.