HARE AND HOUNDS
Late on Saturday night Remus Lupin patrolled the hallways of the castle. Prefect duties had become much less interesting over the years and he would have rather spent the night finishing his Charms essay or playing Exploding Snap with his friends. As it was, he was stuck wandering the deserted castle by himself entertained only by the arguments of the portraits that hung on every inch of its walls (…And I'm telling you that they have invented a potion for that!...Absolute Poppycock!). He didn't even bother asking them to keep their voices down anymore, it did absolutely no good and usually only ended in more trouble for him.
It was pleasantly warm in the Charms corridor, which made Remus comfortable though very sleepy. He yawned widely and contently and considering he was alone did not bother to cover his mouth. Suddenly in the corner of his eye he saw a flicker of movement and drew his wand. He could hear only the gentle howl of the wind that flowed in from outside but he stayed alert. The moment he saw the swish of a black cloak he cried, "Protego!" pushing his attacker to the ground with a force of bright blue light. As the figure sprung up and dusted himself off indignantly Remus lowered his wand and rolled his eyes.
"What are you doing here Sirius? You nearly scared the pants off me…" said Remus angrily.
"Calm down Moony, don't get your knickers in a twist" said Sirius, "besides, I was invited". He held up a scrap of parchment proudly.
Thick letters scratched in black ink read:
Meet me at ten
In the Charms corridor,
I can't wait to see you
So please don't ignore.
It was clearly the careless handwriting of James Potter, but didn't sound at all like him.
"Are you sure James wrote this to you Padfoot?" asked Remus.
"Yeah, 'course. It was on my bed wasn't it, and I don't know where he is 'cause we haven't got the map anymore" he replied, snatching the parchment back out of Remus' hands, "but he's obviously got something planned, I mean we're both here aren't we?"
Remus frowned and opened his mouth to counter Sirius' (to use a loose term) thinking when his friend started jumping up and down and pointing at the nearest door.
Tacked to the heavy wood was another parchment note.
"It's a treasure hunt Moony! A TREASURE HUNT!" Sirius screamed.
He snatched the note up before Remus could even grab for it, and cleared his throat theatrically to read aloud;
Follow me to the place
Out in the open air,
To the tree with autumn leaves
the colour of your hair.
Sirius read it again soundlessly, mouthing the words with concentration, ignoring Remus' pestering cries of his name.
"He's got to mean the tree by the lake" said Sirius with great sincerity, "Come on Moony, let's go!"
With that he slapped the self-sticking parchment back to the door and ran through the hallway, his sandy-haired friend shouting "Wait, Sirius…I think you've got the wrong idea!" at his retreating figure.
The lakeside was dimly lit by feint stars and the yellowy glow from the castle. A single sliver of moon was present (mercifully for Remus), reflected by the black water of the lake. Sirius found his way to the large oak tree by memory rather than sight, for they had spent many spring days lounged under its shadow. When he arrived there it was easy to spot the next parchment note, as it was written in spectacular, glowing ink:
I'm waiting there
By the teachers room,
Ready to whisk you away
on the fastest broom.
Remus caught up to his friend a few minutes later to find him still mulling over the latest riddle. He was panting heavily, to breathless to tell Sirius the truth of the matter. He tried tapping him on the arm, but Sirius merely ignored the gesture.
"Teacher's common room? That's all the way on the other side of the bloody castle. Tell you what, when we find him I'm gunna murder him" said Sirius.
"Padfoot…" Remus tried to interject.
"…We could always dump the body in the lake and tell them the Giant Squid ate it. No one would miss him…well maybe Lily…ah well, she'd get over it eventually".
Remus, still not fully recovered, tried to get a look at the parchment but Sirius was resolutely blocking his view.
"Would you quit hovering over me like one of those hell-coppers Moony?"
"You mean helicopters?"
Sirius turned sharply to face his friend.
"Must you always correct me Moony? Not everyone is as big of a smart arse as you" said Sirius offhandedly, engrossed in the message James had left.
Remus' jaw clenched and his tone became measured and cold.
"You're right Sirius, clearly you've got this whole thing figured out" said Remus, grinning evilly, "so where have we got to go next?"
"Glad you're up to speed, onwards to the Teacher's common room" Sirius called, jogging away.
Remus followed close behind after reading the note for himself, smiling as he thought of the surprise in store for one Sirius Black.
Awaiting them in the darkened room was a t-shirt floating witlessly around the room. Remus cried "Accio" and the scarlet garment rushed towards him. He caught it clumsily, lacking the fined tuned reflexes of his quidditch playing friends. Sirius immediately snatched the note that had been pinned to the shirt (which they now saw was a Gryffindor jersey). It read;
Down by the kitchens
You'll find a quick snack,
Don't be long,
My heart's under attack.
The shirt belonged to James but was not the one he donned to play as a Chaser on the house team. It was a generic Keeper's shirt he had given Lily for Valentine's Day.
"Is that…?" Sirius asked.
"Yeah, the one he gave Lily last month. Along with that god-awful line, remember? 'Are you sure you're not on the Quidditch team? Because you're definitely a Keeper'" said Remus, and both boys groaned.
After a short pause Sirius began to resuscitate their quest, "On to the kitchens then Moony?" and Remus agreed, flinging the jersey across his shoulder and striding out of the room with a mischievous grin.
Sirius, who bounded after him, remained apparently oblivious to the true purpose of James' clues.
In the glowing warmth of the corridor underneath the Great Hall the boys strolled up to a large painting of a fruit bowl. Prior experience had taught them that tickling the pear would reveal a green door handle that became the passageway into the Hogwarts Kitchens. However they had no need of this knowledge today because their clue was in plain sight. Just in front of the painting sat an enormous slice of treacle tart on a polished gold plate. Atop it was an incredibly detailed snitch done in icing, but there was no note to be seen.
Sirius frowned, which was frankly the only time Remus had ever seen him look unhappy in relation to food. He picked up the tart curiously and the iced snitch suddenly came to life, unfurling its sugared wings and lifting from the tart to hover in mid air. Sirius and Remus turned to each other with shocked expressions. They both stepped forward, wands aloft, and Sirius prodded the snitch cautiously with the tip of his own wand. It seemed to spring up with surprise and began gently zooming along the corridor, leaving a trail of icing dust in its wake. Remus and Sirius took after it at a jog until Sirius stopped suddenly and ran back to the portrait.
"Sirius? What are you…?"
He had picked up the piece of treacle tart, stuffed it unceremoniously into his mouth and sprinted back.
"C'mon Moony, keep up!" he shouted still running, now ahead of Remus, with an explosion of crumbs escaping from his mouth.
The trail of the iced snitch led them a fair way around the castle to a room Sirius had never seen before, but which Remus knew quite well (as did his fellow Prefect and Head Girl). The Prefect's common room. It was hidden behind the portrait of Adalbert Waffling, who in lieu of a password admits people who convey interesting magical facts to him. The snitch lay in a miserable puddle of collapse next to the portrait, an imprint of its shape preserved where it had travelled into the stone wall. Sirius stared between it and the portrait, confused at the meaning of it all.
Remus was looking rather smug as he said, "It's the entrance to the Prefect's room…you have to tell him something interesting".
Sirius cleared his throat, "If I smell Peanut Butter I vomit…"
"About magic, you twat."
"Oh right, uh…A witch or wizard's emotional state can affect their inherent magical abilities"
"Astute" replied Adalbert Waffling, as his portrait swung forth.
It revealed the rather shocking sight of a stark naked James Potter in a rather provocative pose, a rose held in his mouth.
"ARRCHHHHH! MY EYES! CANNOT UNSEE!" yelled Sirius attempting to shield himself as James immediately snatched a pillow from the nearest cushy armchair to cover up.
Remus, who had predicted a result such as this, stayed well out of the line of sight and was currently doubled over in laughter and Sirius' misfortune.
James spat out the rose, "What the bloody hell are you doing here?!"
"You left a note…meet you at ten…corridor…tresu…" a shell shocked Sirius explained.
Remus poked his head around the portrait hole, "He thought it was a treasure hunt".
Smacking his hand to his forehead (whilst keeping the other gripped tightly on the cushion) James said sternly "It was for LILY, you prat. Wasn't that obvious?! "
To which Sirius replied "No", and Remus "Completely".
"The clues were poems for Merlin's sake!" yelled James.
"To be fair…they were pretty crap poems Prongsie" said Sirius.
There was a pause in which none of the boys knew quite how to proceed. Eventually Remus cleared his throat and spoke.
"Er, Prongs…maybe you should go find Lily now?"
He nodded slowly and ducked behind the armchair to throw on a set of robes before racing out of the portrait hole, leaving his friends standing there awkwardly.
"I might have to immigrate Moony," said Sirius miserably, "How far d'you reckon I'd have to go to get over this?"
"Australia, at the very least" replied Remus.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Reviews (and critique) are greatly appreciated! Written for Diagon Alley's Battle Challenge Team DE Round 2