You're the One
It has been a long day. We lost one of our friends and colleagues. I had asked Mac if he would come to the bar with us and remember Angell. He told me he would come later. I was a little sad that he didn't come with me, I really needed him by my side. But when he showed up at the bar later I was so glad.
Ever since our trip to Greece it's like something has changed between the two of us, I can't say what it is, but something has changed. And when he showed up it was like everything he did he did it for me, to make me happy. I was in the middle of my speech when gun shots were fired.
I opened my eyes after a while. I don't remember when the gun shots stopped, but it can have been too long. I slowly open them and try to focus on the area around me. I try not to move. When I gained my vision I see right into Mac's eyes 1 ft away from me. We lock eyes for what seems like a life time. When I finally breaks away from his eyes I can see he is bleeding, but can't see from where. It makes my heart rate go faster. The only thing going through my mind is that Mac is bleeding and I can lose him. What scares me the most is that I haven't told him how I feel about him. I haven't told him how glad I am for what he have done for me. I just can't lose him, not yet.
Once again I have to look away, but this time I have to close my eyes because of pain. The only thing I'm thinking is why am I in pain? I have to look at Mac, I have to see that he is alright, but I can. There is too much pain. And then everything goes black.
As a lay on the floor and wait for the shooting to stop I remember the look in Stella's eyes when she saw me walking in through the doors of the bar. I can't wait to see those eyes again, it's her eyes that can make my bad day become good days. Just one look in her eyes and my whole day becomes better.
I open my eyes to see if everyone is on the ground. Thank God everyone is out of too much harm. I turn to look at Stella and see her eyes closed. I want to run over to her and make sure she is okay, but I know I have to wait till the shooter is gone. Or I will get shot.
As I look around the room again I see that the others are getting up from the floor. I turn to look at Stella again and see her close her eyes and can see that she is in pain. I stand up and hurry to her side. I can feel my arm hurts, but I can live with that. What I can't live with is a life without Stella.
The short distance over to her, seems like a life time. I remember the incident with Frankie. I didn't know if she was a live when I got to her, and that was my fear again. I think of Claire and the day she died. I didn't get the chance to tell her that I love her. I can't make the same mistake again. I just can't lose another loved one.
When I finally reach her I checks to see if she's okay. She is not responding and I start to panic. The only thing going through my head is that she is dead and I have lost the chance to tell her how I really feel about her. I didn't have the courage to tell her I loved her in Greece. The only thing I told her was that I cared about her. Why didn't I just tell her the truth? And now it might be too late.
"Come on Stella. Stay with me" I say and looks around to see the others have started to move.
"Hawkes, I need you over here" I yell and everybody looks at Stella on the floor. I notice Lindsay with tears in her eyes as she looks at Stella and I follow her eyes to Stella and see a pool of blood on the floor, Stella's blood, and lots of it.
"I need an ambulance right now" I yell. Hawkes are on the floor next to Stella trying to stop the bleeding until the ambulance arrive. I'm so glad when I finally see the ME's coming up to Stella and start preparing her for the transport. I can feel a tear leaving my eyes as I crawl into the back of the ambulance next to Stella and takes her hand.
We arrived at the hospital over three hours ago and I still haven't heard anything from the doctors about Stella. I'm pacing around the waiting room and won't stop until I know something. I have to know she is gonna be alright before I can relax I tell myself.
"Mac, please sit down. Pacing is not gonna change anything" Danny says to me. I can only give him a stare. I don't care what they think. I'm not gonna relax before I know what's gonna happen with Stella.
After twenty minutes a doctor comes through the doors to the waiting room.
"Who's here for Ms Bonasera?" he asks
"We're here. She's our colleague" I tell him
"She has made it through surgery and is in the ICU. She's doing great, but the next 24 hours will be critical" the doctors says
"Can I see her?" I ask
"Yes. I will show you her room. The rest of you can also visit her"
"Thank you doctor. Mac we're gonna give you some time before we come. Come on guys, what about some food?" Hawkes asks. I'm happy that they are gonna give me some time alone with Stella. I need to tell her how I feel, I can't wait any longer.
I walk through the door and see Stella lying in the bed. She still looks beautiful after getting shot. I close the door and walk over to her. She turns her head and locks eyes with me.
"Hey" I say
"Hey" she says
"Before you say anything else... I have to tell you something" I take a break " When I saw you lying on the floor of the bar there was so many thing that went through my head. Like how much I care for you. I knew when I saw you that I can't live without you... I should have told you this in Greece, but I didn't have the courage to tell you. But now I have to, because I can't lose you like I lost Claire. What I'm trying to tell you Stella is that I'm in love with you, and I can't live without you" I look into her eyes to see her reaction. I'm so scared that she will show me that she's gonna run away from me, but what I see surprise me. As I look into her eyes the only emotion I can see I love.
"Mac, I love you too. I have waited so long for you to tell me" she says. When I here the words coming out of her mouth the only thing I can think of doing is kiss her. And that's what I do. I kiss her, I show her just how much I love her and she does the same to me.
"Jessica Angell was one of those rare people who touch each of our lives...." Stella Bonasera
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