The Reptilians versus The Justice League
by Thadeus "Seymore" Takeda
On the planet of Nibiru, dark and sinister forces are at work. The army of Lucifer, alien king of the Reptilians, crowds around the vast spiraled tower of the wicked dark lord, awaiting his final orders before they march on Earth.
Lucifier, cloaked in his flowing blue cape, complete with a sinisterly popped collar, addresses his faithful minions.
Lucifer: "My faithful minions, long have we lusted for the denser dimension of the Earth scum! Soon, my loyal reptiles, we will march through the star gate, created by our faithful servants and their "Large Hadron Collider" and invade the pathetic monkeys, stealing their MOST PRECIOUSSS density from them!"
The crowd erupts in glorious cheering, their spears and tridents (which shoot lasers) thrust high into the air.
Meanwhile on Earth, near Geneva, Switzerland, Superman helps put the finishing touches on the Large Hadron Collider, attaching the last length of pipe, before welding it with his heat vision.
Everyone cheers.
"Well, Doctor," The man of steel says, "Now that the Collider is finished, we can begin the experiment."
"Yeesss," says the director of the project, Dr. Lazarus Reptile. "Now we may begin."
A siren sounds and all the men and women run to a safe distance, leaving only Dr. Reptile and Superman standing close to the Collider.
Lazarus pushes a button and a whirling sound is heard, lights begin to flash. Suddenly, a siren goes off.
"Something's wrong here.. this isn't suppose to happen!" Superman blurts.
"That's correct, Sssuperman. I have just opened up a gate to a different dimension. Ssssoon the Dark Lord will be with us. Hisss hisss hisss!"
Superman frowns. "You're a cock."