So there I am, spending yet another boring day in those cells, with Prince Phobos in the cell below droning on and on and on about how he should be released because he's the rightful ruler of Meridian, and Cedric's just sat there making little googly-eyes at me like he always did... and then hey, whaddya know? I've been busted out by some old hag. Nice one! Okay, so the old hag has a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle, but anything's better than listening to Cedric composing yet another love song for me. What a jerk. I tell you, if he wasn't locked away in a different cell, I would've bitten him. Mind you, I'm kinda glad he was...
It turns out the old hag has a name - Nerissa. I've heard that name somewhere before... it's a type of flower, I think. I don't know. I never really paid attention. Elyon was the one for skipping around and staring at flowers all day, not me. I just tagged along 'cos Phobos was paying me to.
Boy, am I glad to be shot of her. Now I'm a proud member of the 'Knights of Vengeance', a rather spiffing gang dedicated to stomping on those Guardian types. Should be fun. First of all, there's Raythor - he's the only one who actually looks like a knight. Has a bit of a funny accent too. Then there's Frost. I don't like him much, he keeps staring at me. Probably thinks he's a lady's man who can score with anyone just because he has a bit of muscle on him. Of course, I wouldn't know anything about that - I'm too sweet and innocent to know about that sort of thing... no, really, I am. I tell ya, if he tries anything with me, he's in for a biting.
Then there's Tracker. Skeleton-type thing with muscles. Doesn't say much, he just comes up with the occasional one-liners like "The hunt has begun", "Our quarry is near" and "I just wuv that fwuffy widdle bunny-wabbit!". I must admit, I'm slightly puzzled by that last line, and a bit worried too. Oh, and he has a mangy dog who keeps leaving presents around the cave. Like hello, black sandals don't clean themselves, you know.
And then there's Gargoyle. Seems nice enough. I wish he wouldn't try and sing though - he only seems to know one tune. I've heard it somewhere before - it goes 'dah dah, dah dah, dadadada daaah, dah dah, dah dah, dah dah daaaah'. I can't stand it. I've only been here a couple of hours and that tune's already stuck in my head. Don't you just hate it when that happens? It's so annoying. I would ask him to stop, but I'm afraid he might sit on me.
And there's Sandpit. Doesn't say much, but I guess it's difficult when your vocal cords are made out of sand. I think he's been and had a bit too much caffeine, that guy never keeps still - he's always wooshing here, wooshing there, then wooshing back here again. It's hard to keep up.
And lastly, there's Nerissa herself. She has some pretty gnarly magic on her, but her dress sense leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, black potato-sack dress with a single silver glove? And the less said about her hair, the better. I'll see if I can give her some fashion tips - I think she's look rather smart in a dress like mine. Hey, we could be sisters!
So, what about this diary then? Well, I thought I'd better start a new one. That darn Princess, sorry Queen Elyon was always reading my old one. It was so embarrassing. One day, she went and told one of the maids that I had a crush on Vathek. Yeah, as if! All I said was that I saw a dress that was a nice shade of blue like him. Besides, I'm too sweet and inncocent to be dating rebels.
Ah well, better get some sleep. We've a busy schedule tomorrow - trash a village, trash a village, trash a farm, trash a village, lunch, trash a village, trash a village, afternoon tea, trash another village, quick shower, then dinner and a sing-song around the campfire. I'm not looking forward to the singing part. Mind you, I've got a great voice, I just don't know any songs. That bimbo Elyon said there's loads of music on Earth... I'll have to have a look next time we visit, sorry, invade.
Nighty night then, dear diary.
Luv
Miranda
♥♥♥