Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, Will Turner, Elizabeth
Swan, Jack Sparrow, Orlando Bloom (although I wish I did ::dreamy sigh::),
or anything associated with Pirates of the Caribbean.
The Very Secret Diary of the Beloved Will Turner
Entry 1- Pirates from the Black Pearl came today and took Elizabeth. Got Jack Sparrow…ahem "*Captain* Jack Sparrow", and now he's gonna help me get Lizzie dahling back! Woo hoo!!!
Entry 2- Not a good day for ol' Willy boy. Went to Tortoga (spelling? Stupid pirate names…) My beautiful brown eyes have been blinded!!! BLINDED I SAY! Some fat lady waddled up to me and flashed me and someone threw beer in my eyes. Also, I found out Jack was using me. Bloody pirate. Also, Father may not be as much as a good-doer as I thought. Again, bloody pirate's fault. Maybe not associating self with pirates may help…too late now. Note to self- Eventually hit pirate on head with paddle…
Entry 3- We got a crew! And now we're gonna save my pretty bonnie lass! Only downside is incredibly evil storm made me sexily wet. I was chased by sex-hungry pirates until I locked myself in the Galley. Very unfortunate…
Entry 4- Hit pirate on head with paddle. Saved Lizzie. Really tired right now from all my hero work. Will write more later.
Entry 5- Stupid non-dead-non-living pirates came back with Jack (thought I hit him on head with board?!?!?). Found out they needed my blood, but now they have pretty gold that they need my blood to be put on so that the curse that has cursed the pirates can be broken but they need blood that belongs to me. Too many words, too many grammatical errors. It gets to your head.
Entry 6- We were taken captive. I almost drowned, and that totally made me look like an even better hero ::sexy hero pose::. Oy! And I got to show off the sexy I'm-standing-on-the-brink-of-life-o-so-pretty-like pose today when I threatened my life so Lizzie could go free and the crew would be ok. Again, I am the hero ::doe another sexy hero pose::. Bad part is, I didn't get to go free. Plus, Jack and Lizzie were abandoned on the same Island, and he's got some rum on him. Lizzie gets a lil crazy and wild when she gets hard liquor in her. It's actually quite fun at times, but I think that Jack will try to get a bit of "chitty bang bang chitty chitty bang bang". If you know what I'm saying.
Entry 7- We beat the evil pirates! YAY! I think my incredible sexiness and half open shirt helped my side go for it even more! Isn't that wonderful? I also used my blood (an incredible and heroic yet sexy deed), to kill the evil captain! YEAH! Only problem is that Lizzie is now engaged to a really old guy. Ewwww! Will write more later.
Entry 8- Jack was going to be hung today but I saved him. Don't know why, but hell, yet another sexy heroic deed is good. Also, old man let Lizzie come with me! YAY! Jacky boy got rescued by our crew and I got to make out with Elizabeth! She got a lil pissed though when right after my breath- taking kiss I blessed her with I said, "Ok, I know I'm so sexy and heroic, but you must stop chasing after me. Really, darling." She went on and on about how I was obsessed with sexy and heroic deeds and how she thought people were going to slash me and Jack. EW! A thought like that has tarnished my sexy soul! Must get some beauty sleep before this sleep deprivation cuts down on my ability to do heroic deeds! O yes, and I must remain sexy. Always remain sexy.
Review away! O yea, and I LOVE Orlando and Will! I'm not dissing him! I'm just making a point of how everything he does in the movie makes him look incredibly sexy and heroic. NO FLAMES PWEEEZZEEE!
The Very Secret Diary of the Beloved Will Turner
Entry 1- Pirates from the Black Pearl came today and took Elizabeth. Got Jack Sparrow…ahem "*Captain* Jack Sparrow", and now he's gonna help me get Lizzie dahling back! Woo hoo!!!
Entry 2- Not a good day for ol' Willy boy. Went to Tortoga (spelling? Stupid pirate names…) My beautiful brown eyes have been blinded!!! BLINDED I SAY! Some fat lady waddled up to me and flashed me and someone threw beer in my eyes. Also, I found out Jack was using me. Bloody pirate. Also, Father may not be as much as a good-doer as I thought. Again, bloody pirate's fault. Maybe not associating self with pirates may help…too late now. Note to self- Eventually hit pirate on head with paddle…
Entry 3- We got a crew! And now we're gonna save my pretty bonnie lass! Only downside is incredibly evil storm made me sexily wet. I was chased by sex-hungry pirates until I locked myself in the Galley. Very unfortunate…
Entry 4- Hit pirate on head with paddle. Saved Lizzie. Really tired right now from all my hero work. Will write more later.
Entry 5- Stupid non-dead-non-living pirates came back with Jack (thought I hit him on head with board?!?!?). Found out they needed my blood, but now they have pretty gold that they need my blood to be put on so that the curse that has cursed the pirates can be broken but they need blood that belongs to me. Too many words, too many grammatical errors. It gets to your head.
Entry 6- We were taken captive. I almost drowned, and that totally made me look like an even better hero ::sexy hero pose::. Oy! And I got to show off the sexy I'm-standing-on-the-brink-of-life-o-so-pretty-like pose today when I threatened my life so Lizzie could go free and the crew would be ok. Again, I am the hero ::doe another sexy hero pose::. Bad part is, I didn't get to go free. Plus, Jack and Lizzie were abandoned on the same Island, and he's got some rum on him. Lizzie gets a lil crazy and wild when she gets hard liquor in her. It's actually quite fun at times, but I think that Jack will try to get a bit of "chitty bang bang chitty chitty bang bang". If you know what I'm saying.
Entry 7- We beat the evil pirates! YAY! I think my incredible sexiness and half open shirt helped my side go for it even more! Isn't that wonderful? I also used my blood (an incredible and heroic yet sexy deed), to kill the evil captain! YEAH! Only problem is that Lizzie is now engaged to a really old guy. Ewwww! Will write more later.
Entry 8- Jack was going to be hung today but I saved him. Don't know why, but hell, yet another sexy heroic deed is good. Also, old man let Lizzie come with me! YAY! Jacky boy got rescued by our crew and I got to make out with Elizabeth! She got a lil pissed though when right after my breath- taking kiss I blessed her with I said, "Ok, I know I'm so sexy and heroic, but you must stop chasing after me. Really, darling." She went on and on about how I was obsessed with sexy and heroic deeds and how she thought people were going to slash me and Jack. EW! A thought like that has tarnished my sexy soul! Must get some beauty sleep before this sleep deprivation cuts down on my ability to do heroic deeds! O yes, and I must remain sexy. Always remain sexy.
Review away! O yea, and I LOVE Orlando and Will! I'm not dissing him! I'm just making a point of how everything he does in the movie makes him look incredibly sexy and heroic. NO FLAMES PWEEEZZEEE!