Just So You Know: A Harry/Hermione one-shot based on the song 'Just So You Know' by Jesse McCartney.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor the lyrics.
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
Harry Potter sat across two of his greatest friends in the world, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, as the Hogwarts express sped from King's Cross to Hogwarts. Ron was playing chess with Neville while Hermione's head was currently lying on his shoulder as she took a quick nap. He smiled at the sight, although part of his heart was aching. He glanced out the window to look at the Scotland countryside. Those rolling fields looked so empty, not unlike how he was feeling in fact. He sighed under his breath. What's the use of winning the war when he felt this miserable? He stared at Hermione again, his gaze lingering on smooth creamy skin, her long lashes and her soft full lips. He gulped as he resisted the idea of grabbing her and kissing her on the spot. He closed his eyes and leant his head back against the seat. How his emotions for his best friend changed so rapidly was a mystery to him, and it was one he tried his best to keep hidden.
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
Ever since Hermione planted that kiss on Ron back in the midst of the battle, they had been going out. Both of them looked much happier than they did in a long time. This was what they both had wanted and Harry was happy for them. Although by then, his feelings were at a point of no return. The kiss had in fact caused a large crack to appear in his heart. It was because of that that he pushed Ginny away and constructed walls around his emotions. He felt bad for not noticing Hermione earlier, and treasuring that he had such an amazing, beautiful and phenomenal woman in his life. The war had caused him to mature way beyond his years, and his expectations for what he wanted in a girlfriend changed. Ginny no longer filled that role. In fact, all his expectations only fit one and one person only.
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Hermione opened her eyes to this scene: Harry Potter was leaning back against the headrest with his mouth open as he slept. She smiled. He looked so innocent and relaxed for once. This past few days she noticed he was much more quiet than usual. Winning the war seemed to make him much more upset than joyous. She bit her lip. Perhaps he felt neglected because Ron and her were in a relationship? She resolved to change that this year. Glancing at her watch, she realized that they were about to reach Hogwarts soon. She pulled her head off Ron's shoulder and said to Neville and him: "Get changed into your robes."
"Later 'Mione," Ron replied distractedly. "Knight to E5."
She gave a little huff of exasperation before she stood up and shook Harry's shoulder.
"Harry, wake up!"
Harry jolted upwards and his glasses slipped off his nose. She reached down to pick it up and she passed it back to him.
"Hey Hermione, what time is it?" he said in the midst of a rather large yawn.
"We're approaching Hogwarts, so get changed into your robes, and while you're at it perhaps you could instruct the chess boys to do so as well. I'll be leaving to give you guys some privacy." With that, she left and slammed the cabin door behind her.
Harry rubbed his eyes and looked over at Ron and Neville and knew instantly that Hermione's instructions would go unheeded. They were so engrossed in their game that a bomb could have gone off nearby and they wouldn't have noticed. Well, he wasn't going to get his throat ripped out for not listening to her; he hastily changed into his robes. Glancing at the two boys before him, he had a flash of inspiration, pulling out his wand, he muttered a quick Aguamenti and doused the both of them in frigid freezing water.
"Blimey Harry! What was that for?" Ron yelled.
"That's pathetic compared to what Hermione would do to you if you didn't listen to her again," Harry retorted.
Ron growled before he stood up to get his robes out of his bag. Neville, eyeing Harry warily, hurried to do the same. Harry ducked out of the compartment into the corridor and he noticed a figure doubling over with laughter in the hallway. He would recognize that laughter anywhere and he gave Hermione a small smile.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"Just…just the way you dealt with Ron. I can just imagine how his face was like!" Giggles emanated from her at this and Harry raised one brow, he'd never seen Hermione act like this before, but it was a good sign, she appeared to be more carefree and relaxed.
Suddenly, she stopped and reached out to hug him. His face was buried in her hair and it smelled wonderful; there were subtle hints of roses and cinnamon. The feel of her body next to his sent his mind spinning in several directions, all of which would cause Ron to severely beat him up if he ever found out. When she released him, he grudgingly let her go, but kept his arms around her waist.
"What was that for?"
"For being such an amazing friend Harry, you've always stood up for me and I appreciate it," she gave him a soft smile as she said this.
Harry gulped, the urge to kiss her slammed into him with full force, he quickly let go of her waist as it happened. He couldn't do that to his best mate. Looking back at her, he noticed a brief hurt expression crossing her face, fumbling to try to turn the situation around, he quickly said:
"Of course Hermione, you're my best friend and I love you, I'd definitely stand up for you no matter what."
And there was the smile he loved so much.
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around; I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
Several days later, Harry was walking towards the library with his book bag in hand, he'd decided that now was a good time as ever to take Hermione's lectures about the NEWT levels seriously, as he turned the corner however, a scene caught his eye. Hermione and Ron were holding hands just outside the library and they appeared to be conversing, though Harry was too far away to know what they were talking about. Harry hid in an alcove, as much as he knew the relationship made them happy, he didn't really need to see them kissing in front of him. Several minutes later, he peeked out and saw that the corridor was empty. Sighing with relief, he walked out and resumed walking to the library. Nodding to Mdm Pince as he walked in, he headed to the stacks of books nearer to the back, where Hermione normally was. As expected, she was there, alone. She was feverishly scribbling something on a parchment with several thick volumes of books piled around her. He pulled out a chair opposite her and pulled out his own books and homework. He was writing for a few moments before she finally tore her eyes away from the parchment and gasped.
"Harry… I didn't know you were here!"
Harry laughed. It was so typical of her to get so engrossed in what she was doing to not notice the things going on around her. It was a lovely quirk, in his opinion, but he was rather biased.
She flashed him a quick smile when he laughed.
"So," he decided to ask. "Where's Ron? I thought he would be in here with you."
She rolled her eyes before answering. "Harry, did you really believe that Ron would willingly spend any amount of time in the library? Speaking of which, what are you doing here?"
He placed a hand over his heart and replied with mock hurt. "Ouch, you wound me Hermione. Did you think I wasn't that hardworking?"
"From past experiences… yes," she quirked her lips at this and he knew she was teasing him back.
"Well, m'lady, you'd be glad to know that I've taken your lectures of NEWT's seriously and plan to put in serious work for the next few months."
A big grin blossomed on her face. She leaned across the table and placed a kiss on his cheek. His heart rate soared through the roof. He tried to prevent a blush from appearing by sucking in deep breaths and looking at everywhere but her.
"Thank you for listening to me."
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
Hermione was sitting with Harry and Ron at the side of the lake. Ron's hand was currently intertwined with hers. She looked down at it before she glanced at Harry. He looked like he was lost in some deep thoughts. Turning back to look at Ron, who was taking a nap, she decided to talk to Harry.
"Are you okay Harry?"
"Hmm?"
"Your mind seems rather preoccupied lately."
"Oh, it's nothing Hermione."
"You know that you can talk to me about anything right?"
He stared at her, before sending a quick glance down to Ron's hand and hers.
"I'm sorry Hermione, but this is one thing that I can't talk to you about," he quietly replied.
Hermione felt a quick flash of hurt. Harry and her were always so close. Were they drifting apart because of the relationship that she and Ron had? This wasn't exactly playing out as what she wanted.
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Something was killing Harry inside slowly, and no, it wasn't some soul fragment of an evil dark lord, he'd already dealt with that. It was different. It was the pain of unrequited love. He loved her so much, and she didn't love him back. Of course he couldn't talk to her about it, since all of his thoughts revolved around him and her. And he knew he was hurting her, in a way, he wished he never had fallen in love with her. Things would be much easier that way, he mused as he threw a stone into the black lake, watching it skip a few times before sinking. Watching Ron and Hermione interact, he wished beyond anything in the world, that he were in Ron's position.
During dinner a few months after that day by the lake, Harry eyed Ron and Hermione. Ron looked awkward and Hermione was pointedly not looking at him. Finally, Ron leaned over and whispered something to Hermione, and whatever it was, she nodded in reply and they quickly exited the hall. Harry sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, they were probably heading somewhere to snog in private.
"You're very obvious, do you know that?"
Harry looked up. Neville sat across him, a small smile on his face.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb Harry. Several people can tell you have feelings for… well, you know who I mean," Neville said.
"All I'm saying is," he continued. "Are you going to do anything about it?"
Harry shook his head.
"I can't."
"You can't or you won't Harry? Think about that. Why don't you just give it a shot? Do you want to spend your life wondering 'what if?'" With that, Neville stood up and walked off.
Pondering Neville's words, Harry could see that he made a point. He wanted to tell Hermione how he felt, but he was afraid how he would possibly ruin the friendship between them if she didn't feel the same way. Not to mention Ron would hate him, and Harry just couldn't lose two friends at once. He realized that he would have to let her go and try to move on. He just couldn't destroy their friendship like this.
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around; I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
Screw "Operation Getting Over Hermione", Harry thought angrily to himself one week later. It wasn't working, not when she was there, every single day with that alluring smile and her warm hugs. Today he found himself, rather unexpectedly, alone in the library. Okay, maybe it wasn't that unexpectedly, he knew Ron had asked her out for the Hogsmeade weekend because he did it, rather publicly, in the common room yesterday. Harry just wasn't all up for going to Hogsmeade alone despite Hermione inviting him to meet up with them at the Three Broomsticks later. He had refused, knowing that he didn't need to mess up his emotions further by watching them. Those were the circumstances that led him to be sitting here, in the library staring out the window, alone.
Harry tore his eyes away from the window and eyed his Defense Against the Dark Arts text, but he just couldn't focus, the words were swimming in front of him and images of warm brown eyes kept flashing in his mind. A wave of sadness flooded him. He had so many opportunities to tell her how he felt so long ago, yet he had done nothing. There was the time when she was revived from being petrified, where he spent a large amount of time holding vigil at her bedside. There was also the Yule Ball in the fourth year, where he could have just bucked up the courage to ask her, but didn't because he knew Ron liked her despite what he said. And that time in the tent after Ron left them, when she had chosen him instead…so many opportunities gone to waste. Part of him had been in love with her for so long, he just wasn't smart enough to realize it till much later.
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he never heard the soft footsteps that approached him till the person stood directly in front of him.
"Her..Hermione?" he sputtered.
She smiled one of her beautiful small smiles. "Hi Harry," she softly said.
"What are you doing here?" Unknowingly, he had quoted what she said many months ago when he appeared in front of her.
"Well Harry, since it's the library, and knowing me, it shouldn't be really that much of a surprise right?" She jokingly replied.
"Aside from that," he quickly said. "What about Ron? I thought you were going to go out to Hogsmeade with him."
"Yes, that was originally the plan, but plans do change Harry." She pulled out the chair opposite him.
He raised one eyebrow in question.
"Ron and I were never going out," she blurted out. Realizing this, she covered her mouth with her hand.
Now he was confused. What did she mean? Reaching forward, he pulled her hand away, but he didn't let go of her hand.
Hermione breathed in and out deeply. After several moments of her appearing to collect her thoughts, she looked directly at him.
"I love you."
Those three little words were like music to his ears, and while part of him wanted to jump up and start cheering, the other part was curious about what she had meant earlier about Ron and her never actually going out and so he questioned her about it.
He saw a bit of hurt flash in her eyes when he didn't say those words back, but she continued with her story.
"I've always loved you Harry, but when you didn't seem to feel the same way for me I decided to try to get over you by going out with Ron, and that didn't work. In fact, Ron and I knew it wouldn't work all the way back in sixth year. We were always bickering to really carry on a relationship. He knew that I loved you after he saw what the Horcrux taunted me with just as I was about to destroy it and he said he'd always expected something like that, especially after I chose you back during the Horcrux hunt in the tent. He also mentioned that you might be feeling something for me, but neither one of us was sure. Then he came up with this plan for me to kiss him when we were in front of you, to try and find out if you had feelings for me, but you never responded, and I was ready to give up. Ron convinced me to give him and me another shot in a bit to try and draw a bit of reaction from you. Essentially, Harry, we were trying to make you jealous," she spoke so rapidly that some of her words were jumbled up to his ears, but he got the gist of it.
He gaped at her, his mind unraveling. A bit of him felt angry that they had been toying with him for such a long time, but he realized that he never made his emotions obvious anyway, so they didn't expect that he held feelings for her.
"I'm really sorry for lying to you this whole year Harry, but don't you realize that Ron and I have never done anything more than hold hands throughout?"
Harry thought back, and she did indeed make a point, like that time in front of the library, he never actually saw them kiss, he just assumed they did, and that time at the lake…
"Both of you were pretty convincing, but what made you decide to drop the act?" Hermione winced at his choice of words.
"When I realized that no matter what I did, I still love you. Everyday when I look at you, I'm reminded of what I don't have and it makes it incredibly hard to let go." She looked pleadingly at him.
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around; I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
"I know you might not feel the same way, but these thoughts have been haunting me for too long, and I felt that you should know. I still held a slim hope that you might like me Harry, but now I know that you don't. I wonder if I can ever stop loving you, and I understand if you don't want to talk to me from now on." With this, she stood up and turned around to leave.
Harry watched her retreating back.
She loved him.
And hell be damned if he wasn't going to do something about it.
Hermione had taken no more than a few steps away when she heard the scrape of the chair on the ground and felt a hand pull on her arm to turn her around. She saw the love exuding from the emerald eyes that haunted her dreams before those lips she fantasized for so long touched hers. The kiss that they shared was soft and lovely, and filled with so much love she thought her heart would burst from the intensity of it. She had dreamed about this for years, and this was even better than all of those. It was at that moment that she knew.
He loved her too.
A/N: Okay, I'm just a giant ball of fluff these days. There are several reasons why i decided to write this song-fic, and here they are:
1. The reaction to my other Harry/Hermione song-fic 'Speak Now' was great.
2. I watched Jesse McCartney's music video to this song again and I noted the similarities. There were two guys and one girl, and one guy is secretly in love with his friend's girlfriend. So I thought, doesn't that sound familiar?
3. Well, many have asked me to write more Harry/Hermione fics.
4. Compared to Draco/Hermione fics, the number of Harry/Hermione fics are really really low, so i thought this would be able to add to the tally.
5. Harry/Hermione are just too awesome together for words.
And so, I hope you enjoyed reading this little piece and perhaps it added some joy to your day. If you would be so kind as to leave a review I would appreciate it very much.
Cheers,
AmandaCJY