Disclaimer: I have this recurring fantasy in which Professor Membrane slowly removes his – OOPS! Wrong fantasy! I have this other fantasy in which I own the IZ characters. But alas, it is only a fantasy. - mizzim
I don't even want to know about your fantasies. - CrazyZimFan
"Now, Class, when you grow up you will be doomed to cast your vote in a senseless election which will result in someone finding a way to make your vote not count." Miss Bitters cackled at her own pitiful attempt at humor. Or at least that's what Dib thought she was doing. "It is, however, your doomed duty to vote in said elections. Remember, those who do vote, while doomed to the same fate as those who do NOT vote, gain the right to complain about the elected officials. And, as a further incentive to vote, you will get a doomed little sticker that say something like "I doom well voted."
"To learn about these elections of doom, you will watch a doom-filled video about the presidential election of 2000. If you fall asleep, you are doomed to be zapped with a Taser. If you are zapped more than three times, you will be transferred to the underground classroom." (Ominous thunder effect.)
The chalkboard rose to reveal a widescreen TV. Zim could just hear Gir's "I love this show," in his mind. A mindless narrator vote began talking about the election process in the USA. Within seconds, Zim was hypnotized by the boring video. Sleep soon followed.
"WHAT! Who dares to zap Zim? Tell me!"
Dib snickered. Zim cast an evil look at the teacher and her Taser. Zim had a special file on his computer where he documented the numerous tortures he had planned for Miss Bitters. Horrible tortures involving octupi and soda cans. Tortures too torturous to be named.
On the screen, a filthy human worm with large ears was smiling and waving. "Who is that?" asked Zim. "Tell Zim!"
Dib risked the Taser and laughed out loud. "Don't you know anything about us, alien-boy? That is the president of the United States."
"He looks kind of like a donkey," exclaimed Zim. "Who is that standing behind him with the sunglasses on?"
"I don't know, just some Secret Service guy. Nobody important," answered Dib, shrugging.
"But, he's shorter than the guy with this 'Secret Service' person! That cannot be!"
"What are you talking about, spaceboy? What does height have anything?"
"Uhh, in Canada they chose presidents by height. Yeah... by height," Zim answered.
"Canada doesn't have a president. They have a prime minister."
"Yeah, well they elect him by height," Zim shot back hotly.
Zim turned toward the video screen, his interest now apparent. If that guy with the donkey ears could rule the free world, how much greater a leader could the great ZIM be? This, at last, was the key to enslaving the humans – get himself elected...