Scene 1
[setting: the Big Donut]
[right outside;the next line is coming from inside]
Stephanie:NOOOOOOOOOO!
[inside]
Stephanie:This can't be happening!This must be a dream!(looks at Larry)Larry!Larry!(tugs on Larry's legs)Please say i am dreaming!
Larry:(shoves Stephanie off of his legs)Get off me! Can't you see I'm stocking here?
Katie:I'm sorry Stephanie,I guess they stopped making them.
Stephanie:*overreacting*Why would they stop making Cookie Cat!?They are only the most delicious ice cream snack in the known universe!
Larry:(pointing at Lion Lickers' freezer)I guess your wimpy ice cream couldn't compete with Lion Lickers.
Stephanie:(scoffs)Lion Lickers!?But nobody even likes them! They don't even look like lions! *angrily* "Kids these days,"I'll tell you what!
Larry:(snickers)If you want your precious ice cream back so badly,*mockingly*Why don't you make some with your magic wrist?
Stephanie:*snappy*That isn't how it works Larry!*hesitantly*I think.
Katie:Why don't you try something else?We have plenty of items to choose from.
Stephanie:(sigh) *heartbroken* No,Katie,Cookie Cat is the only snack for me.
Katie:Well, if you change your mind,let me— (notices that Stephanie is hugging the Cookie Cat Freezer) Umm…Stephanie?
Stephanie:hm?(doesn't let go of the freezer)
Katie:Do you wanna keep the freezer?
Stephanie:(closes eyes and nods)
[end scene]
Scene 2
[setting:Crystal Beach house; Turquoise, Demantoid, and Ametrine are fighting a horde of Catapitles]
Stephanie:*upbeat* Hey guys!You won't believe—(gets attacked by a Catapitle)Waah!
Ametrine:(Stabs the Catapitle with her trident and smiles)Hey,Stephanie!
Stephanie:(gasp)Cool!*interested* What are these?
Turquoise:(picks up Catapitle and sighs)I am so sorry,Stephanie,we'll get these Catapitles out of your think they were trying to get a hold of the temple.
Stephanie:No,don't get rid of them!they're really great!
(A Catapitle spits acid on the floor. Turquoise and stephanie look through the hole.)
Ametrine:(poofs a Catapitle)Um,they don't have gems!
Demantoid:That means there should be a mother nearby!
(Catapitle sneaks up on Demantoid. Demantoid notices and hits it with the hammer side of his Catapitle poofs)
Turquoise:We should find it before somebody gets hurt.
Stephanie:*excited*Oh! I wanna come!
Turquoise:Stephanie, until you learn to control the powers of your gem,(snaps Catapitles neck)We'll take care of saving humanity.
Stephanie:Aw,man. (notices a Catapitle raiding the fridge)No!Get your butt out of there!Go!Bye!
(Catapitle leaves)
Crap!They got into everything!(notices the fridge is full of Cookie Cats and gasps)What!?*surprised*No way! H-How did these get here!? Didn't they stop making them?(takes cookie cat out)
Turquoise:We heard that too…and we know they are your favourite,so—
Ametrine:We went out ant stole a bunch!
Turquoise:(leers at Ametrine and growls)I went back and payed for them.
Demantoid:It was all my Idea.
Ametrine:It was everyone's idea.
Demantoid:Not really.
Turquoise:All that matters is Stephanie is happy.
Stephanie: *rapping*
Oohhhhh!
He's a frozen treat with an all new taste!
'cause he came to this planet from outer space!
A refugee of an interstellar war!
But now he's at your local grocery store!
Cookie Cat!
He's a pet for your tummy!
Cookie Cat!
He's super duper yummy!
Cookie Cat!
He left his family Behind!
Cookie Caaaat!
Now available at Jurgen's off Route 109!
(gems applaud)
Stephanie:Thank you guys! your awesome! I'm gonna cherish these forever!Right after this one.*to the Cookie Cat*Hello old friend.(bites of the ear)Oh, so good!(Stephanie's gem begins to glow.)I love to eat the ears first.
Ametrine:(notices Stephanie's gem glow.)Uh,Stephanie…
Stephanie:What?
Ametrine:(points at Stephanie's gem)
Stephanie:(looks at gem)Oh My Gosh! My gem!
Ametrine: Quick! try to summon your weapon!
Stephanie:How!*panicking* Oh no! its fading!How do I make it come back!?
Turquoise:Calm down! Breathe!Don't force it!
Ametrine:And try not to pee yourself.
Demantoid:Please don't.
(Stephanie's gem stops glowing)
Stephanie:(sigh)Man,I was this close!Can one of you just explain this to me?
Ametrine:*singsong voice*Oh,I'll go first!
[end scene]
Scene 3
[setting:Ametrine's Japanese pink tree]
Ametrine:Pay attention to these petals, Stephanie. The petals' dance seems improvised, but it is being calculated in real time based on the physical properties of this planet. With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem and perform your own dance! (summons trident) Like so.
[end scene]
Scene 4
[setting:the big donut;outside]
Stephanie:(throws petals into the air)
Demantoid:Hey Stephanie.(startles Stephanie)
Stephanie:Wah!
Demantoid:Did Ametrine teach you the "petal thing?"
Stephanie:Yeah.I need to practice really hard so I can dance like a tree…i think.
Demantoid:Look,all that practice stuff is I need to summon my hammer-axe,it just comes.(summons hammer-axe and throws it to where the axe side hits the wooden post.)See what I mean?
Larry:(enters the scene and notices the axe)Again!?
[end scene]
Scene 5
[setting:top of the Crystal temple]
Stephanie: So I'm supposed to work really hard and not try at all at the same time?
Turquoise: Yes. Or... you could link your mind with the energy of all existing matter. Channeling the collective power of the universe through your gem, which results in— (summons his scythe) At least that's my way of doin' it.
[end scene]
Scene 6
[setting:Crystal Beach House;kitchen]
Stephanie:I think my best bet is to recreate the moment my gem …(points to the counter)Ametrine and Demantoid were over was by the .Ametrine, I think your arms were crossed?
Ametrine:Ok, your majesty.(crosses arms)
Stephanie:And,Turquoise,your foot was like this.(moves Turquoise's foot to an angle)
Turquoise:Stephanie, I don't think it works that way.
Stephanie:And …(moves Demantoid's head down a bit)Yeah.(takes the earless Cookie Cat out of the freezer)Then I took a bite out of this Cookie Cat.(gasps)No! Wait! I sang the song first!Uh…He's a frozen treat…All new taste…interstellar war…now available at Jurgen' ! it was more fun last time!(sigh)*hopeless*Maybe I'm not a real Crystal Gem.
Turquoise:(bends down next to Stephanie)Of course you 't be silly.
Ametrine:And your fun to have around,even if your gem is useless.
Turquoise:(leers at Ametrine)
Ametrine:(notices Turquoise's leer)I…mean you're one of us, aren't the Crystal gems without you.
Stephanie:*cheer*Yeah! Even if i don't have powers,I've still got…Cookie Cat! (Takes a bite)Delicious!(yawns—gem starts to glow—stretches arms into an archer position—pulling a bow sideways—summons her go !)
Turquoise:*amazed* Oh my gosh! its a bow!
Stephanie:Whoa, what?! I get a bow?! Oooh... yeah! (She accidentally lets go of the arrow which ricochets around the room, breaking a TV—Ametrine bursts out laughing.) Huh? Cookie Cat! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream!
Turquoise:(picks up wrapper)*to self*What do they put in these things?
(The house shakes)
Stephanie:*alarmed*what was that?
[end scene]
Scene 7
[setting:outside the crystal temple during the afternoon]
(the gems and Stephanie look as the Catapitle Mother crawls up the temple)
Demantoid:It's the Mother!(leaps towards the Catapitle Mother)
Turquoise:Stay in the beach house,Stephanie!
Stephanie:No way!This moment is too awesome to miss!(goes back and brings the Cookie Cat freezer outside)
(The Gems chase the mother which leads them to the back of the temple and attacks, the Gems take cover behind a broken hand statue as acid is pouring over the side.)
Ametrine:Ummm…We could really use Stephanie's Bow now!
Stephanie:(chucks rock at the mother)Hey!Leave them alone!
Gems:Stephanie,no!
Stephanie:Cookie Cat Crystal Combo Powers…Activate.(eats Cookie Cat and nothing happens)Oh No. Gaaaahh!(Retreats further back)
Turquoise:We need to save Stephanie!
Ametrine:Can we save ourselves first?
Stephanie:Goodbye,My friends.(Eats several more Cookie Cats and nothing happens)Why isn't it working!?(Retreats once more)
Demantoid:Stephanie!(holds back mother's pincers)
Stephanie:(sees the destroyed freezer…Gasp!)No…Oh,no no no no no!…*slowly*
Cookie Cat, he's the pet for your Cat, he's super duper…
*more aggressively* yummy! (picks up freezer by the wire) Cookie Cat, he left his family behind! COOKIE CAAAAT!(chucks the freezer at the Mother)*calm* Now available…nowhere.
(Catapitle Mother electrocutes)
Ametrine:Yes!
Demantoid:*business*Gems!Weapons!
(Gems summon their weapon)
Demantoid:*business* Lets do this!
(Gems burst from cover and attack all at once, destroying the mother, a gem falls and Demantoid bubbles it away.)
Stephanie:Farewell,sweet Cookie Cats.I'll always cherish our moments together.(Stomach rumble) now.
Ametrine:Are you crying?
Stephanie:*shouts* Only a little!
Ametrine:I guess your powers don't come from ice cream.
Turquoise:Of course they don't come from ice will figure out sooner or later.
Demantoid:Yes, in your own Stephanie-ish way.
Stephanie: I'm okay guys. I just— (stomach rumbles) Ugh, I think I ate too many Cookie Cats.
(Gems laugh, Steven laughs anxiously, then retches.)
[END SCENE AND PARODY]