This is just a simple one-shot that was originally going to be a Pitch Black story but when I started writing it, I couldn't get it to work right. Instead, I tried this from Capt. Sparrows point of view instead and personally, I'm rather happy with it. I got the idea from watching an episode of Cold Case a couple weeks ago, but it took me ages to get the story right. I do realize that our beloved Sparrow is a tad OOC, but honestly: it's a fanfiction and I could care less. This is purely written for my own enjoyment but I would hope that other's like what they read.

I own nothing but the idea of Beth and how she left her mark on Jack.

Simple Discourse

Jack Sparrow could not look at himself in the mirror for more than a few brief moments at a time; he could not stand to have a man he did not know stare back at him.

He was not a good man. Maybe when he was young in England, he had been at least a good boy. Maybe then he had been a boy that made his mother proud to be that, his mother. Maybe back then, he played with friends and pretended to be 'Captain Jack Sparrow' without ever knowing what man he would grow to be. Maybe back then, he had dreams of being a good man when he grew up. Maybe back then, he had had dreams to begin with that were no one's but his own.

There were a lot of 'maybe's that were always in the back of his head and he knew all of them were lies. He hadn't even grown up in England with his mother but instead going between a slum home in the pits of Tortuga with his aunt or when he was older, he sailed with his father for a short time. There had never been a time during his childhood when he wasn't aware that the men who came and went from his Aunts bedroom did not leave without paying and that his father was a wanted man. He had never had a real childhood, he never played games with the other children, he never had any friends. Except for one.

Elizabeth Swann was convinced that Jack Sparrow was a good man at heart. He had to convince her that she was wrong, so very wrong indeed. He was not a good man nor had he ever been one. To protect them both, he had to convince her that he was nothing more than a scoundrel of a pirate that would steal and cheat and be as immoral as he damn well pleased. He needed to tell her this and make her understand before she decided to try and 'change him for the better' or even try to save him. She would fail and all hell would come her attempts, no doubt. Jack didn't need to be saved, he couldn't be saved.

There was no saving a dead man.

--

She was busy staring into the horizon off the deck of the Black Pearl when Elizabeth heard the Captain approaching. She turned and squinted at him, the setting sun behind him blinded her nearly. Her hair waved in her face as he came up beside her and leaned against the railing. Elizabeth frowned at him, the usual spark in his eye was gone as was the cocky way he always managed to hold himself with. He was staring into the distance much as she had been moments before, all expression void from his face.

"Are we out of rum?" Elizabeth asked. She did not understand at all the change in man beside her. Only a few hours before he had been seen beating Gibbs at a rigged game of poker and yelling at the rest of the crew. He had seemed normal as ever then but now, he seemed nothing like the Jack Sparrow she had come to know.

There was a hint of a smile on his double-braid mustached face. "No, luv. We've got plenty more of that in the cargo hold. I made sure of it."

She looked at him in confusion. "Then why are you sulking?"

He turned at stared at her, which surprised her. His lack of aversion to eye contact continued to unnerve her. She always felt as if he could reach into her soul and steal it when he stared at her like that. She felt like he could see everything about her, all her lies, all her insecurities. He scared her when he looked at her like that.

He held her eyes for a moment longer and turned back his love, the sea. "I am not sulking, Miss Swann. I am having a moment of nostalgia."

"You have moments of nostalgia, Captain?" She didn't know why this also surprised her. Jack Sparrow was a man as well. He was a man with a past and memories, just like everyone else in the world.

"Shocking, isn't it?" he smirked at Elizabeth without turning to her again. "Does it surprise you that I too have memories of a past?"

She shrugged to him and spoke honestly. "You almost never speak of your life before the Pearl, Jack. It's an honest mistake to assume you were born of the sea in your current dress and stature."

It was a joke on him and both of them knew it, but neither laughed.

"Are you eager to be back with your love?" The question came from nowhere and without any initiation, but Elizabeth didn't hesitate in her answer.

"Yes, I am," she said, quieter than before. She could not wait to be reunited with Will, to have him beside her during the cold nights, to wake up next to him in the mornings, to have her best friend with her once more. She could not wait to see his face when he saw her, coming to rescue him, riding upon the deck of the Black Pearl. She could not wait to see him again. She looked over to the pirate and couldn't help but wonder. "Why is it that you ask?"

There was a silence and for a moment, the only sound came from the waves lapping against the hull of the ship. She didn't notice when the infamous Jack Sparrow had a hitch in his breath or when he closed his eyes for a brief second longer when he blinked than he had before. She didn't notice, but he was suddenly still. His eyes were focused far on the horizon, he was placing himself back on the blasted island that his once friend, Barbarossa, had cast him away on. He was anywhere except on the deck beside one Miss Elizabeth Swann.

"I was on love once, a long time ago. You said that I was a good man, Elizabeth. I want to know why you said that," he was staring at her again for a brief moment.

Elizabeth was now even more confused. She knew that completely understand the logic of one Jack Sparrow would be impossible, but would it be so hard for him to try and make sense? She sighed out loud. "You were willing to help both Will and myself. You could have long ago left one of us on an island, gone on your merry way, and continued to pillage and ruin as you went. But you haven't and I do not believe that you will. I have faith in you, Jack. You will help Will and I reunite because deep down, you are a good man."

She noticed this time when the Captain didn't move. She took his silence as a moment of hesitance and jumped. "Tell me about when you were in love."

When he didn't start to tell his tale right away, she wondered if she had asked too much of him. But then, it came. He smiled. It wasn't his normal smile that came when he was drinking too much rum, or the one that came when he outsmarted Beckett once again. This was a sad smile. The smile that came from thinking on memories for too long and realizing that nothing you could do would change what had happened. Elizabeth knew that smile well from personal experience.

"It isn't a story that I think you want to hear, Elizabeth," Jack murmured quietly. The smile faded away and the emotionless expression was back. "It is nothing like the story of you and Mr. Turner. It is the opposite in almost every way. It is not a happy story."

She paused and thought about it. Did she really want to hear this seemingly unhappily ended story from Jack's past? At the moment, she wanted nothing more. She should have known that nothing good would come from her questioning, that there could be nothing good from Jack Sparrow's past, but she ignored that and nodded her head. "I would like to hear it anyway."

Jack shrugged his slouchy shoulders and kept his eyes trained on the horizon. "You are sure, luv?"

Elizabeth nodded her head once more. "I am."

"Don't say that I didn't warn you," he said before launching into his tale.

"Her name was Beth, Beth O'Malley. Her family came from Ireland and moved into the room above my Aunt's when I was still a boy in Tortuga. I don't know much about her father; just that he high tailed out of there soon as they hit land from their homeland. Didn't bother the family much, Beth said he was a man who nursed the bottle too much."

Elizabeth thought better than to interrupt the similarities between the two men and stayed silent. Jack didn't seem to notice.

"Beth was a year younger than me back then, but it didn't make a difference. The moment I laid eyes on her, I was eating outta' the palm of her hand. She was beautiful, smart, had a quick wit that always got her trouble, and somehow, she loved me. We kept it from our families for awhile, just because I was scared pantless of what my Aunt would tell my pop when she found out. We'd sneak out at night and go down the docks. Didn't matter what we did, I was just happy to spend time with her. I was a stupid wanker back then, Liz. I asked her to marry me just three months after she moved into the room above ours and for some bloody reason, she said yes."

This was a side of Jack Sparrow that Elizabeth had never seen. This was far beyond his random spurts of deeds that could almost be considered good. This was a man who had lost something dear to him, had lost a woman who single handedly had held his heart. This was Captain Jack Sparrow, speaking of his tale of lost love. This was a man she had not met before and was unsure if she wanted to again. This man was someone that she find herself trusting, someone she could find herself wanting to spend time with and wanting to get to know. And she knew well that getting to know Jack Sparrow would end in nothing but pain, suffering, and a huge let down.

But that was before she had seen this Jack Sparrow.

He continued his story, not pausing to allow her to question anything he was saying or ask to learn more of Beth. He had started with a mission in mind, and he planned only to stop when Elizabeth finally understood.

"We were young back then and in love so we never thought of what would happen later on down the road. We didn't think of what people would say or how our families would take to our marriage announcement. We didn't think because we didn't care. It was a stupid mistake that we both made."

He stopped and Elizabeth was afraid that he wasn't going to finish. But he blinked slowly and continued on, more bitter than before.

"Her mother wasn't happy at all that her only daughter was going off to marry the son of a pirate and wrote Beth's father, asking for help. I still don't know how she found that son of a bitch, but she did and he came running to kick my arse. He showed up one night while we were having dinner with my Aunt. Aunt Gertie, she loved Beth almost as much as I did. She didn't have a problem with us getting married and going on with our lives, she figured that if we were happy, nothing else mattered much.

We were sitting around the table, eating, and laughing and having a good time when her da' showed up. He was cursing up a storm and smelled like a pig sty but the one thing that mattered was the gun he was waving. Gertie tried to calm him down, tried to make him understand that we were stupid kids indeed, but who were they to judge us? Beth screamed when the gun went off and I didn't move fast enough to get Gertie out of the way. She fell in a heap and I don't remember what happened to her after. I was too busy trying to get Beth to run."

Jack was silent again and he ignored the horrified look on Elizabeth's face. He hated reliving it in his mind, the sound of the shot, the way Gertie had fallen, the pierce of Beth's scream. Gertie had been the first body he had ever seen up close. Sure, he'd seen bodies on the streets. It was Tortuga, one couldn't go without seeing a whore, pig, and dead body once a day. But it was different to see the blood from coming from someone you knew, someone you loved because they were family. It was different to watch the light go out behind their eyes and realize you could have saved them. It was different; it was personal.

"Jack?"

Elizabeth's voice broke through his memories and hauled him back into the present. He turned slightly and saw her looking at him with traces of worry in her face. He didn't understand why she was looking at him like that. She wouldn't in a few more moments once he finished his story. He didn't say anything to the soft call of his name and simply jumped back into the story.

"I tried to get Beth to run and get help, but she wouldn't leave. She thought she could get her father to drop the gun and leave us alone. I tried to get her to leave, but I couldn't. I was on the other side of the table from her when he started to yell at her and blame her for everything. She was crying and trying to calm him down. I started making my way around the table, closer to the crazy old man. I was almost to him when he realized what I was planning and turned on me. He pointed the gun at me and said that if I wanted to live, I would turn and walk away and never look back or think of Beth again. I wasn't going to do anything of the sort until she looked me straight in the eyes, told me she loved me, and then told me to leave.

I don't know why I did it. I don't know why I didn't turn to her old man and kick his arse for trying to break us apart, I don't know why I didn't stay, I don't know why I couldn't say it back to her. I left her without a good bye and without telling her that I loved her. I left her and walked away like she had asked me to."

"Oh, Jack," Elizabeth whispered. Her voice was laced with pity and that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted her just to understand, damnit.

"I was halfway down the hill from our house when I heard the shot. I ran back and was almost to the door when there was another. I opened the door and I saw Beth on the floor, blood everywhere. Her green eyes were staring at the ceiling and there was a hole in her chest, just above her heart. Her da' was a few feet away from her with a bullet to the head. He shot her and then the bastard shot himself before I could get to him."

He suddenly pushed himself off the railing of the Pearl and whipped around to face Elizabeth, his face angry. She took a step back in hurried surprise and had to catch herself from falling.

"You said I was a good man, Miss Swann. But would a 'good man' leave behind his fiancée with a crazed man with a gun while he turned tail and ran? Would a 'good man' leave the body of the one woman he loved to rot in his deserted house to go sail the oceans with his outlaw of a father?" Jack was inches away from her face, his voice strong. She would understand after this. "Tell me, is that what you think a 'good man' would do? Tell me!" he barked at her when she didn't answer.

She simply stared at him in confusion and fright and slowly shook her head. "No, that is not what a good man would do," she said softly.

Jack nodded his dread locked head and grinned at her while pulling away. "No, it's not."

He didn't say anything more as he walked away, the swagger back in his step and arms flailing at his side. Elizabeth watched in utter confusion as he walked across the deck of his beloved ship and into his cabin where he shut the door behind him with a gentle push. She stared at his closet door and wondered how much of the story he had just told her was true and how much of it was Jack Sparrow protecting himself from the rest of the world.

Reviews are always welcomed.
Rory Lewis.