FALLEN FOR A VAMPIRE.
BY Song Bird
A/N: Whoo- hoohoo I just had sugar ! Um- : cough : Abri : grins at her name : that's me! My friends Sarah1 and Sarah 2 are in this and so I am I. Warning: I'm a vampire! Muwhhaa! WHEW..... Clam down Abri! My friends are un- registered Anamigi. I hypnotize someone...... The last names of Granger, Weasley, and Potter aren't mine. So there's the DISCLAIMER!!!! I was Snape Fan but my friends, and er- some family, are shocked that I like the Bad Guys in books. So I changed it.
Abri: ( At platform 9 3/4 ) Yo, Sarahs! Get over here!
Sarah 1: Why are we going to Hogwarts at night Abri ?
Abri: I'm a vampire I have to go at night!!
Sarah's: Oh.
Sarah 2: What classes do you guys have to teach?
Sarah 1 : Qudditch.
Sarah 2: Study of Ancient Runes.
Abri: .....
Sarahs: Abri ?
Abri: : Cough Defense Against the Darks Arts cough.:
Sarahs: What?
Abri: Defense Against the Dark Arts. There! Happy ? Snape's going to be after my blood... Or visa versa.
Sarah 1: Okay.... Who's blood have you been drinking anyway?
Abri: I've been trying to see how long I can go without biting someone...... I've been going for livestock..... Not that filling.. Anyhoozle, let's get outta here. You have your brooms right?
Sarahs: ( Nod)
Abri: This is nerve racking... ( Turns into a bat ) Being the first American teachers and all.
Sarah 1: Abri, just out of curiosity here, do you suck helium to get that voice?
Abri: ( Same high pitched squeaky voice.) No.
Sarah 2: Just checking.
2 hours later........
Abri: ( Thinking) Flap, flap, flap, I'm staving!! Ohhhh, a cow! No! Fight it off Abri! Fight it OFF! ( Passes the cow.) Whew!
Sarah 1: You think Abri's had enough of being a bat?
Sarah 2 : For one night... Abri, need a break?!
Abri: Yes! ( Hangs upside down from Sarah 2's broom and falls asleep.)
At Hogwarts.......
Snape: Headmaster, is a vampire really a good choice for a teacher?
Dumbledore: Yes.( Sighs) Severus, ( Chuckles) I'd watch my neck if I were you.
Snape: Before I worked here I was a vampire- hunter, I teamed up with Harker and Van Helsing.
Dumbledore: ( Rolls eyes.) Yeah, sure, That's um.. Interesting, there Bram Stroker, but really did you team up with them?
Snape: Is Karkaroff dweeby?
Dumbledore: Yes.
Snape: There you go. I never liked vampires.. : Cough ever sense Dracula stole my girlfriend! Cough:
Dumbledore: (Who heard every word Snape said) HAHAHAHAHA!!
Snape: It's. Not. Funny!
Dumbledore: Oh, that's rich Severus! You- having a- a- a-a girlfriend!
Snape: ( Whispers as he leaves Dumbledore's office.) I'll get you Vampire, or become one myself.
In the sky.......
Abri: ( Wakes up startled, and turns human.)
Sarah 2: What?!
Abri: ( Hanging on to the broom with one hand.) Snape wants me dead!
Sarah 1: Your un- dead, he can't hurt you.
Abri: Oh yes he can! ( Sees Hogwarts up ahead. As the Sarahs are flying over head about to land Abri does a black flip in mid air and lands to her own two feet.)
Sarah 1: : Cough show off cough.:
Abri: I heard that!
Sarah 1: Stupid, miserable BAT HEARING!!
Abri: Oooh, you little...
Snape: ( Steps out from the castle steps) Weasely!
Abri: Speak of the Death- Eater.
Snape: Durrrh! ( Lunges at Abri)
Abri: ( Hisses, and does one of those cool moves from the Matrix.)
Sarahs: How * does* she do that?
Snape: ( Says something in a language that only Abri can understand.)
Abri: Fine, you want to duel the hard way? Sure I'm always up for new * victims! *( Grabs a shovel.)
Sarah1: How'd shovels get there?
Sarah 2: ( Shrugs.) Who cares let see who wins, 2 gallons if Abri wins.
Sarah1: Deal!
Abri: ( Throws a shovel to Snape.) En grud, Mudblood!
Sarah1: ( mutters while eating popcorn) Bad call Abri.
( Abri and Snape start sword fighting with the shovels.)
Snape: Watch who you call a Mudblood Weasely...Vampire, Whoa! ( Ducks as Abri swings her shovel near his head.)
Abri: Hiya!( Snape's shovel is reduced to a sharp pointy stick, like the kind they use to kill vampires with.)
Snape: Ha!( Throws the stick like a dart at Abri, who does one of the cool Matrix moves again.) Yes! No! Oh dang!
Abri: ( Lands back on the ground.) Who's got the last laugh now?
Snape: I give and just to warn you, I'm NOT Muggle- born.
Abri: I know, I just couldn't think of something insulting.
Snape: Anything else you want to tell me ?
Abri: I won't bite..... : Mutters to herself: Yet.
Snape: I lost to a vampire ! Lucious better keep his trap shut if word gets out.
Abri: ( walking up to the castle with Sarah 1 and Sarah 2.) Oh it won't. ( Crosses fingers behind her back.)
In the castle....
Abri: Cool, just like the books!
Snape: ( To Dumbledore.) I have the others , and the vampire.
Abri: ( Hisses)
Dumbledore: ( To the students.) May I welcome three new Professors. First, Professor Potter, (Sarah 1 waves.) for Quidditch. ( Quidditch teams clap up a storm.) Second, Professor Granger for Study of Ancient Runes.) ( Applause for Sarah 2) Then finally, Professor Weasely for Defence Against the Dark Arts. Professor Weasely will, however, have the dungeon next to Professor Snape's...
Snape: ( Mouthes) What?! Her dang class has to be next to mine!?
Dumbledore: ( Ignores Snape.) .... She will also, have to teach you all at night.
Students: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Dumbledore:( To Abri.) Abri, it's almost dawn, your office has your coffin already in it.
Abri: Yes! Thank you! ( Runs off to her room.)
Sarah 2: She had a LONG shovel fight with Snape.
Dumbledore: ( Looks at Snape.) Intresting.
Snape: What? ( checks his neck for teeth marks.) Whew.
Part 2
Song bird's note: Ooooh I like that better then "Authors Note", anyhoozle, um- : cough: This gets- er a BIT nasty. Hypnotizing, neck biting, someone slowly turns into a vampire, all that good stuff.. I STRONGLY suggest that any readers who are from ages 6- 10, stop reading this and find something happy! People who get nightmares, scared so easily that they wet their pants, people prone to heart- attacks, fellow fans of a certain character, STOP READING THIS!! Me and my friends have our first day- and night teaching. After Abri's class in done the next thing on the list is dinner.
At dinner...
Snape: ( Thinking to himself)That Vampire better not sit by me.
Abri: Too late.
Snape: Ho gees! ( Makes a cross with his arms.)
Abri: ( Looks at Snape as if he's stupid.) That doesn't work..... Man where's all the good blood these days? ( Glares at Snape.)
Snape: Did you try the hospital?
Abri: Yeah, got caught too. ( Looks Snape in the eye.) Why don't you help me look in the Forbidden Forest?
Snape: ( Thinking.) You've been under the Imperious curse before, this is just the same... Say yes... No! Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no....( says) Sure why not?
Dumbledore: ( Sees that Snape's fallen for Abri's hypnotism trick.) Great. ( Slaps his forehead with his hand.) Just great.
( Abri leaves. An entranced Snape following her.)
Sarah2: ( Wacks Sarah1 with her hand.)
Sarah1: ( Through a mouthful of mashed potatoes) What?
Sarah2: Snape looks so dorkey, I mean look at him, he's all misty-eyed and is following Abri....( Reality check!) .... Straight into the Forebidden Forest.
Sarah1: Yeah, and ?
Sarah2: ( Shakes Sarah1 by the shoulders.) Don't you get it!?
Sarah1: Get what ?
Sarah2: Abri is a vampire, remember? Remember how she was telling Snape at dinner that she wondered were all the " Good Blood" went to?!
Sarah1: ( Racks her brain) Yeah ! So then Snape's a...... He's a dead man.
Sarah2: ( Matter-of- factly voice.) Un- dead.
Sarah1: Who cares, come on, once we get to the forest, we use my Invisibility Cloak, ( Pull's a cloack out of her pocket.)
Sarah2: Abri, let's hope you don't bite him.
In the Forest...
( Sarahs 1 and 2 are there, hiding behind a tree. They see Abri and Snape talking.)
Snape: You know Weasely, I find you as rather annoying.
Abri: Good for you. Do you want to know what I find you as ?
Snape: Not really...
Abri: Too bad.... ( Bites him on the neck.)
Snape: YEOUTCH!!!! A pain in the neck?
Abri: Yeah. ( grins.)
Sarah1: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Sarah2: Oh, * that's* pleasant. Abri you sick, sick, freak.
Abri: ( Comes out of the spot she was just at.) Yes ?
Sarahs: AHHHH ! Don't scare us like that!
Abri: Sorry. ( Spit, spit, spit.) Yuck, I think I'll stick with cows.
Sarah1: ( Checks Snape.) Did you suck * all * of his blood ?
Sarah2: ( Stunned at what Abri had just done.) Abri. You blood- sucking bozo! This is good! Second day on the job, and you already bit someone....
Abri: Hey, I hadn't eaten anything decent in weeks! I was hungry!
Sarah1: That's what you told us after you bit Renfield. Why should we believe you ?
Abri: You're right and when you're right, you're right.
Sarah2: ( Ticked off at Abri for biting Snape.) Okay, I don't care! All I want to is why did you bite him?
Abri: ( Starts pacing.) That's the problom. I don't know. I ju- * Coing !* ( Turns around to face the Sarahs.)
Sarah1: Whoa! what happened to her?!
Sarah2: She's gone insane.
Sarah1: Insane!? From what?!
Sarah2: I'm thinking, I'm thinking!
Sarah1: Well think harder!
Abri: ( Talking to herself.) I don't need pep pills to be annoying. Pep pills, pep bills, Beverly Sills, ( makes a werid clicking noise.) Uh- oh need a break, yadda, yadda, yadda! (runs off shouting.) Onward! Onward to France men!
Sarah1: She doesn't even use pep pills!
Sarah2: I got it! I know what's making her loopy!
Sarah1: And that would be?
Sarah2: Snape's blood! Mcgonagall told me that Snape has been on a sugar high, for, like three monthes, trying to see how long he can be hyper or something. So Snape must have been wearing down not from sugar but Abri's hypnotizing him the moment she bit him!
Snape: Ow, man that stupid vampire is going down, aha, there's the shovels! ( Gets up, picks up the shovels.)
Sarah1: Care to go on a vampire hunt?
Sarah2: Yeah, might as well, there's nothing else to do.
( The Sarahs follow Snape, thinking that since Snape is now part vampire, he wll lead them to Abri, but Snape goes somwhere else while Abri is invading Honeydukes for blood- flavored suckers...... Tune in next time to see where Snape leads the duo, as their secert is found out, and will Abri find her candy?)
Song bird's note: I was reading Draclua, and I thought ' my friends will probably not like this.' How wrong I was. My friends own themselves, I own me, J.k. Rowling own the cast, setting, candy. Matt Groning own the " Pep Pills gag." I own the bat me, the half- vampire side of Snape. Um... The sword fight with the shovels is a sence taken from the movie " Death Becomes Her." I love that movie!