A Side You Never Saw
Midget: I'm not going to say much because I don't want to spoil it. Please review and tell me what you think.
Disclaimer: I still do not own digimon. Darn the luck!
***************
There have been times when I just wanted to give up. It's kinda funny if you think about it. After overcoming all those problems in the digital world, you'd think I'd be able to handle this with no problem. But in all the lessons we learned there, nothing ever even came close to this. Maybe that's because those lessons never dealt with the death of one of our own. We grieved for our lost digimon friends, but they weren't one of us. They weren't the partners of digidestined. ...
That sounds a bit arrogant, doesn't it? It is true, though. We didn't mean for it to happen, but we had somehow separated from other digimon. None of us knows how or why. All we know is that we are different and no others could possibly understand except the others like us. And that is the problem. What were we supposed to do, now that we'd served our purpose? Both worlds are safe and we've rebuilt ours. The Digi world no longer needs us. So ... what do we do now?
I've tried to come up with an answer, but it's like hitting my head against a brick wall. What do has-beens who have been replaced by digimon with armor do? Remembering what we did in the past just makes it more clear that when its all said and done .... we were nothing anymore.
These types of thoughts tormented me for a while. At night I didn't toss and turn in my sleep from nightmares they induced because I didn't sleep most of the time. When I did sleep, I was too exhausted to dream. I would just slip into a dark world of oblivion until I opened my eyes again. That was the way I wanted it.
After a while I noticed that I'd fallen into this rut. The more I visited that oblivious world, the more I wanted to go back. It was the only place I could find the peace I so longed for. My heart and soul were restless, and I found myself wishing things were back to the way they were before. Then I'd feel ashamed for such thoughts, which caused me to long for oblivion even more. Over and over again I traveled through the circle. Like a viscious, revenge-minded virus type, the destructive cycle kept ripping through me.
It wasn't long before I found myself contemplating what was once un-thinkable. If I could just end it all .... I actually tried once. I tied a rope to a tree at the edge of a cliff and placed the noose around my neck. When I went to jump off, though, I saw your face. You looked so sad that I immediately got down and started looking around. The picture was so real that I could smell your scent tickling my nose. I felt the strength of your arms as you hugged me like you used to. Your warmth reached out and banished the ice that chilled me. Bittersweet memories flooded my mind and for a moment I truly believed you were there.
You weren't, though. Depressed, with what felt like the weight of both worlds on my shoulders, I started to make a second attempt. Something stopped me though. It was a memory of the time when you needed me to reassure you that I'd always be there for you. That's when I knew I couldn't do it. I lost all desire to take the easy way out then. After all, as unlikely as it was, what if you needed me again?
So I started to take it down. The others found me and we all started talking. It turns out that we had all been going through similar things. Patamon and Gatomon, who were there for a short visit home, explained there problem. Technically they were apart of both groups, but that made them apart of neither. We learned that they have it both better and worse than us. I guess its true that every good thing has an equal bad things that comes with it. Keeps things fair that way.
I bet you're wondering if I'm the same digimon you knew before. In all that time together, this is a side of me you never saw. I wanted to keep it that way, but some things you just can't stop. Maybe it was best that things worked out this way. Maybe.
We've all gotten back together and we've found other ways to help the digi world. We're not the fighting heroes of before, but we don't mind so much now. It's kind of nice to be able to spend our time helping in our own ways, the ways that come most easily to us. Using our own special gifts, we've carved a new place for ourselves in our world. You'd be proud of us.
Well, it's time for me to go now. I can't wait for your next visit. I've got some new jokes to tell you. See you later!
~Gomamon~
P.S. It's too bad this is just a journal entry. You'll never know just how much your friendship has meant to me, Joe. It saved my life.
***************
Joe sniffed as he wiped away his tears. The tears continued to fall heedlessly, making the paper waver fluidly in front of him. It look as if it were under the water, with gentle waves flowing over it. Those waves moved in time with the clenching of his heart. He'd never known his friend had been through anything like this. Carefully replacing the journal, he silently resolved to show his friend just how much his friendship meant to him. Even if the only way to do it would be to laugh at his jokes.
A slight smile came across his face at the thought. He shook his head, marveling at the fact that his best friend could raise his spirits without even being there. Rising, he headed out to search for Gomamon. There were a few things he needed to take care of.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, what did you think? I was originally going to write it for Gabumon, but this just seemed to fit Gomamon better. I'm thinking of trying something like this with all of them, but I'm not sure yet.
Midget: I'm not going to say much because I don't want to spoil it. Please review and tell me what you think.
Disclaimer: I still do not own digimon. Darn the luck!
***************
There have been times when I just wanted to give up. It's kinda funny if you think about it. After overcoming all those problems in the digital world, you'd think I'd be able to handle this with no problem. But in all the lessons we learned there, nothing ever even came close to this. Maybe that's because those lessons never dealt with the death of one of our own. We grieved for our lost digimon friends, but they weren't one of us. They weren't the partners of digidestined. ...
That sounds a bit arrogant, doesn't it? It is true, though. We didn't mean for it to happen, but we had somehow separated from other digimon. None of us knows how or why. All we know is that we are different and no others could possibly understand except the others like us. And that is the problem. What were we supposed to do, now that we'd served our purpose? Both worlds are safe and we've rebuilt ours. The Digi world no longer needs us. So ... what do we do now?
I've tried to come up with an answer, but it's like hitting my head against a brick wall. What do has-beens who have been replaced by digimon with armor do? Remembering what we did in the past just makes it more clear that when its all said and done .... we were nothing anymore.
These types of thoughts tormented me for a while. At night I didn't toss and turn in my sleep from nightmares they induced because I didn't sleep most of the time. When I did sleep, I was too exhausted to dream. I would just slip into a dark world of oblivion until I opened my eyes again. That was the way I wanted it.
After a while I noticed that I'd fallen into this rut. The more I visited that oblivious world, the more I wanted to go back. It was the only place I could find the peace I so longed for. My heart and soul were restless, and I found myself wishing things were back to the way they were before. Then I'd feel ashamed for such thoughts, which caused me to long for oblivion even more. Over and over again I traveled through the circle. Like a viscious, revenge-minded virus type, the destructive cycle kept ripping through me.
It wasn't long before I found myself contemplating what was once un-thinkable. If I could just end it all .... I actually tried once. I tied a rope to a tree at the edge of a cliff and placed the noose around my neck. When I went to jump off, though, I saw your face. You looked so sad that I immediately got down and started looking around. The picture was so real that I could smell your scent tickling my nose. I felt the strength of your arms as you hugged me like you used to. Your warmth reached out and banished the ice that chilled me. Bittersweet memories flooded my mind and for a moment I truly believed you were there.
You weren't, though. Depressed, with what felt like the weight of both worlds on my shoulders, I started to make a second attempt. Something stopped me though. It was a memory of the time when you needed me to reassure you that I'd always be there for you. That's when I knew I couldn't do it. I lost all desire to take the easy way out then. After all, as unlikely as it was, what if you needed me again?
So I started to take it down. The others found me and we all started talking. It turns out that we had all been going through similar things. Patamon and Gatomon, who were there for a short visit home, explained there problem. Technically they were apart of both groups, but that made them apart of neither. We learned that they have it both better and worse than us. I guess its true that every good thing has an equal bad things that comes with it. Keeps things fair that way.
I bet you're wondering if I'm the same digimon you knew before. In all that time together, this is a side of me you never saw. I wanted to keep it that way, but some things you just can't stop. Maybe it was best that things worked out this way. Maybe.
We've all gotten back together and we've found other ways to help the digi world. We're not the fighting heroes of before, but we don't mind so much now. It's kind of nice to be able to spend our time helping in our own ways, the ways that come most easily to us. Using our own special gifts, we've carved a new place for ourselves in our world. You'd be proud of us.
Well, it's time for me to go now. I can't wait for your next visit. I've got some new jokes to tell you. See you later!
~Gomamon~
P.S. It's too bad this is just a journal entry. You'll never know just how much your friendship has meant to me, Joe. It saved my life.
***************
Joe sniffed as he wiped away his tears. The tears continued to fall heedlessly, making the paper waver fluidly in front of him. It look as if it were under the water, with gentle waves flowing over it. Those waves moved in time with the clenching of his heart. He'd never known his friend had been through anything like this. Carefully replacing the journal, he silently resolved to show his friend just how much his friendship meant to him. Even if the only way to do it would be to laugh at his jokes.
A slight smile came across his face at the thought. He shook his head, marveling at the fact that his best friend could raise his spirits without even being there. Rising, he headed out to search for Gomamon. There were a few things he needed to take care of.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, what did you think? I was originally going to write it for Gabumon, but this just seemed to fit Gomamon better. I'm thinking of trying something like this with all of them, but I'm not sure yet.