My Confessions

Elliott closed her eyes. The wind rustled in her hair. Tears appeared in her eyes and she blinked them back. This was the one time she could allow herself to cry in public but it was the one time she didn't want to. This was the one time she wanted to give even a slight impression of her being strong.

"Elliott? What on earth are you doing?" a voice called up from below her. Elliott looked down and saw Carla and Turk staring up at her aghast. Carla's eyes were wide in shock and her mouth had dropped open. Turk simply stared and luckily J.D. was nowhere to be seen, since she didn't think that she could cope with seeing the shock in her friend's eyes as she took the step off the hospital roof.

She wobbled. Carla screamed below her and she saw a blur as Turk rushed into the hospital, obviously to prepare the staff for another one of their many emergencies. Elliott steadied her on the roof. When she was going to fall she was going to do it on her own terms not by simply slipping off accidently.

"Come on hunni, you don't need to do this" she heard from below her. Elliott looked to find Laverne looking up at her along with half of the hospital.

Faces where blurs as their mouths chattered. The Janitor, Carla ,Laverne, Ted ,Kelso, Todd, everyone including...

"J.D." she whispered. The young doctor looked up at her his face frozen in fear; tears ran freely down her face. He shook his head as he felt her eyes on him.

'Please Elliott, no'

He mouthed at her, shaking his head to clear the tears from his eyes. Elliott gulped and closed her eyes again. The crowd gasped beneath her, expecting her to take the step any moment.

The door behind her flung open. Elliott remained motionless. Feet thundered towards her stopping just behind her. She heard the heavy breath of someone behind her and sensed someone holding out their hand to her.

"Come on... don't do this Barbie" he said softly.

Perry walked into an empty room. He huffed and looked around. It was eerily silent, the only sound was the occasional beeping of a patient's life support machine or the ticking of the watch on his wrist. He brought the watch up to his ear.

"Oh so it is working? I haven't entered some time warp where everyone has frozen and disappeared then..." he muttered to himself.

"Oh and now you're talking to yourself ... that's normal Perry" he continued stalking into the room. He heard the thundering of feet as someone rushed past the door. He peered out and saw a green clad man down the corridor. He let out a piercing whistle and the man screeched to a halt.

"DR COX! THANK GOD! You've gotta help her!" he panted, visibly panting from running at such a pace. Perry frowned and tilted his head towards Turk.

"Ummm.. Ghandi, what you on about? I gotta help who? What's going on here? Where is everyone?" he asked. Turk huffed and looked at him aghast.

"Elliott... she's on... how have you not heard yet?" he said, looking at Perry confused. Perry shrugged.

"Elliott is on the roof... she's gonna jump" he said.

Perry froze. He had often heard Elliott muttering such things under her breath but he had never taken her seriously, and now she was going to jump. Without a second glance at Turk he ran towards the stairs, jumping two steps at a time before throwing the door to the roof open.

Just as Turk had said, the blue scrubs clad woman was standing inches from the edge. He could hear the crowd muttering below her.

He slowly walked towards her. He saw her stiffen as she heard his footsteps coming towards her. He held out a hand.

"Come on Barbie... don't do this" he whispered gently.

Elliott turned. He saw her eyes filling with tears.

"Why shouldn't I? I'm useless at what I do... as you and Kelso gladly enjoy pointing out on a regular basis. If I'm so terrible... I shouldn't be putting any more lives in jeopardy by treating them... it's safer for them" she said choking up.

Perry laughed quietly.

"Barbie if people are bad at their job, they quit... they don't go jumping off a roof. Besides, you're not utterly terrible at your job, we're only joking... or at least I am." He continued.

Elliott huffed.

"I have a name" she sighed. "You would have thought after 3 years you could have learnt my name at least... or am I really that unnoticeable. Besides if I jumped off the roof, who would really miss me? Carla? Turk? JD? For a couple of years and then I'll just be a distant memory, that girl who used to work here who gave up and jumped off a roof. Nothing more than that, not remembered for anything... other than being the crazy woman who jumped. You tell me, who would miss me Perry?" she asked, turning back to face the ledge.

Perry stared at her biting his lip. He looked at the floor before, taking single step forward. He sighed.

"Who would miss you? I can't guarantee everyone but I know someone who would" he whispered.

Eliiott slowly tucked her hair behind her ears. Perry took another slow step. He closed his eyes and began speaking.

" I would miss you... you know that don't you? And as for Barbie... I mean you never realised I called you that as a sign of affection. But even then.. you really think you go unnoticed? I notice everything about you, even the little things no-one else seems to notice. Like the way you blow your bangs out your-"

"Everyone notices that... In fact they frequently ridicule me about it!" she shrieked, doing the exact action he had just mentioned. Perry smiled gently.

"If you let me continue... you blow your bangs out of your face when your flustered or frustrated, but when you're REALLY upset... you don't blow them away, you tuck them behind your ears instead... like your doing just now" .

Elliott froze, her hand face level. She let it drop to her side.

"Not just that... the way you purse your lips when your looking at a particularly complex chart or thinking about a patient that your worried about. The way you sit, crossed legged... even when you're sitting on a chair, like you don't want your feet to touch the floor and when you're watching your soaps in your breaks, the way you hug a pillow... the same one every time, like you own it. And then there's your eyes. You see when you're happy your eyes... they go the clearest blue, like a summers day in Texas, then when you cry they go deep blue and sometimes just sometimes when the light hits them just right.. they're almost green... Now don't you go telling me that no-one notices you. And defiantly don't say that no-one will miss you. Now please don't jump Elliott" he finished holding his hand out to her again.

Elliott turned at the sound off her name.

"You really noticed all that?" she whispered. Perry smiled.

"Nah, I made it all up..." he said softly. Elliott smiled sadly, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Ok" she said nodding. She reached out and placed a hand in Perry's.

As she twisted her foot caught a lose brick on the roof. To the crowd below it had seemed that she had decided to fall backwards but to Perry it was different. He saw the way her eyes had screamed for help even before her voice had, he had felt the way that her hand had tightened to vice like grip around his. He knew at that point she didn't want to die anymore and he was damn sure not going to let her.

He had thrown himself at her, keeping hold of her hand in one of his and using his other arm to grab her legs and pull her back towards safety. Luckily he had managed. She had toppled towards him and she had landed directly on top of him with a thump. The breath had both been knocked out of them but it didn't matter, he had saved her. She heaved herself of him and took a deep breath as she collapsed against the ledge, Perry followed suite.

They both sat in silence .Elliott shaking, Perry panting, his heart racing. Both realising what had happened if Perry hadn't arrived earlier or hadn't been able to catch her after he had managed to change her mind.

Perry placed an arm around her and she leant against his chest her eyes closed.

"Shit Elliott" he whispered, running a hand through his hair. He looked over at her.

"Don't do that again" he continued. Elliott looked up at him. She leant over and placed a light kiss on his lips. Perry froze before gently kissing her back, putting a hand in her hair and pulling her closer.

They broke apart. Perry brushed Elliott's fringe from her eyes. She smiled back at him and gently pulled his lips to hers again.