1.
From: barneystinson at yahoo . com
To: malbright at ndi . org
Re: World Peace
Madam Secretary:
Remember when I stated that "every single international conflict essentially boils down to sexual tension?" While you agreed at the time, I wonder - is there a better solution? I just think it might end up upsetting another country if two countries that had previously dated each other now decided to resolve their current issues by sleeping with each other. What should that third country do? While it could spend a lot of money on aggression, maybe it doesn't want to throw around televisions to make its own needs heard.
Thanks,
Barney
2.
From: malbright at ndi . org
To: barneystinson at yahoo . com
Re: Re: World Peace
Dear Barney,
In situations similar to the one you described, I have always found it best to supply the factions with their fundamental needs - in third world countries, this may mean donating goats to provide milk, building wells so they'll have clean water, and organizing their ability to send and receive necessary items. A system to take care of the disposal of garbage is always helpful, too.
Best,
Madeleine
PS. I'm leg pressing four hundred pounds now! Thanks for always pushing me past my limits - see you at the gym next Tuesday.