This story has been inspired by "Love is a Wicked Creature" written by Velasa. Please excuse any grammar mistakes from my side.
PROLOGUE
The Citadel, 2186: Zakera ward
Commander Jane Shepard and her turian friend Garrus Vakarian were sitting in a cab which took them into specific level of Zakera ward. Jane offered her help with Garrus' unfinished business from past on Omega station. Garrus Vakarian was known as Archangel – somebody who fought for weak and poor people bothered by mercenary gangs of Blue Suns, Blood Pack and Eclipse. Garrus worked in group of twelve people and one member of his group was named Lantar Sidonis. It was turian that Garrus found beaten up by mercenaries and after he saved him, Sidonis accepted him and they assembled people to work on purging the Omega.
One day, Sidonis was captured by Blue Suns and was coerced to lure Garrus in another district of Omega by giving him a false lead on Blood Pack. In the meantime, mercenaries assaulted hideout of Garrus' people and ten people got slaughtered. By the time this happened, Sidonis was already gone and once Garrus returned, he found ten of his people dead. Sidonis wasn't between the dead ones and Garrus assumed he was betrayed by him. His own man sold his friends and comrades out to the mercenaries and Garrus had to fight the gangs himself.
Running short on supplies, he was found and rescued by Jane Shepard who assisted Garrus and pushed the resistance back. The battle was won, but Garrus Vakarian was badly hurt from missile. Being treated on board of Normandy and joining Shepard on his another mission, Garrus held grudge against the turian who sold his friends out to save his own ass. He found the intel on Sidonis' location and asked Shepard for her help in taking revenge. However, Shepard saw the grudge changing her friend who was becoming violent.
Now, they were sitting there next to each other in the cab, Garrus was tense and Jane saw it, "Harkin is a bloody menace. We shouldn't have just let him go. He deserved to be punished!" Garrus remarked, staring out of the cab with fury in his eyes, "I'm getting a little worried about you, Garrus. You were pretty hard on Harkin." Jane answered calmly, "You don't think he deserved it?" Garrus glanced over at his commander, "It's just not like you." She said and Garrus looked out of the cab again, seemingly annoyed, "What do you want from me, Shepard? What would you do if someone betrayed you?" he asked, "I don't know, but I wouldn't let it change me." Jane said and Garrus immediately reacted, "I would have said the same thing before it happened to me!" and Jane put an effort into another speech "It's not late. You don't have to go through with this." but Garrus was already possessed with thought of revenge, "Who else is going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don't?" he said and looked out of the cab, "Nobody else knows what he's done. Nobody else cares. I don't see any other options." He shook his head at the last sentence, "Let me talk to him." Jane asked for it but Garrus just leaned back in seat, "Talk all you want but it won't change my mind. I don't care what his reasons were, he screwed us… he deserves to die." Garrus said, hatred building within his voice, "I understand what you're going through… but do you really want to kill him?" Jane asked, "I appreciate your concern, but I'm not you." Garrus snapped out, "This isn't you either." Jane pushed him to think but Garrus was already blinded with revenge, "Really? I've always hated injustice. The thought that Sidonis could get away with this… Why should he go on living while ten good men lie in unmarked graves? I'm sorry Shepard, words aren't going to solve this problem. I need to set up." Garrus ranted with legible anger. He observed the ward and looked for a good place, "I can get a clear shot from over there." Garrus said, pointing at the place. Shepard looked at the dark place behind cover and then looked at Garrus, "What do you need me to do?" she asked, "Keep him talking and don't get in my way. I'll let you know when he's in my sights." Jane nodded, "Give me a signal so I know you're ready, and I'll take the shot. You better go, he'll be here soon." Garrus finished, leaving the cab and closing it.
The cab flew off the bridge and Shepard could watch how Garrus pulled out his sniper rifle, getting ready at the location. Meanwhile Shepard escaped the cab and received transmission from Garrus, "Shepard? Can you hear me?" Garrus asked, "Loud and clear." Jane said and Garrus checked the ward around for Sidonis. He found him sitting on a bench in the back side of ward, "Alright. There he is… wave him over and keep him talking." He said and Jane did as he wished. Sidonis raised himself and walked over to Shepard as she gestured him, "Alright. Let's get this over with." Sidonis said and Garrus aimed for Sidonis head. Unfortunately, Jane was blocking the view, "You're in my shot. Move to the side." Garrus told her, but Shepard knew this was wrong. She wished to help Garrus, but not this way. Instead, she decided to warn him, "Listen, Sidonis. I'm here to help you." She said but once mentioning his name, Sidonis leaned forward to her, "Don't ever say that name aloud." He looked to the side as if he knew he was watched, "I'm a friend of Garrus'. He wants you dead, but I'm hoping that's not necessary." Jane explained and Sidonis was startled to hear that name, "Garrus? Is this some kind of joke?" he said obviously feeling endangered, "Damn it, Shepard. If he moves, I'm taking the shot!" Garrus exclaimed in Shepard's ear. Sidonis just shook his head, "You're not kidding, are you?" Sidonis asked, panicking, "Screw this. I'm not sticking around here to find out. Tell Garrus I had my own problems…" he turned around, about to walk away but Jane grabbed his arm, "Don't move." She said but her touch just alerted Sidonis that he flinched himself, "Get off me!" he shouted, "I'm the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head." Jane said calmly, Sidonis shook his head again, realizing the stalemate situation, "Fuck. Look… I didn't want to do it… I didn't have a choice." Sidonis defended himself, stress causing him to stutter, "Everyone has a choice." Garrus added to it, "They got to me. Said they'd kill me if I didn't help. What was I supposed to do?" he continued with explanation, "Let me take the shot, Shepard. He's a damn coward." Garrus told Shepard through transmission, but Shepard didn't move. Rather decided to continue with talking, "That's it? You were just trying to save yourself?" Jane asked, Sidonis calmed down, leaning against the handrail "I know what I did. I know they died because of me, and I have to live with that. I wake up every night… sick… sweating. Each of their faces staring at me, accusing me. I'm already a dead man. I don't sleep. Food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over." Sidonis repented himself, "Just give me the chance." Garrus said, hoping he could kill the traitor, but Jane continued talking, "You've got to let it go, Garrus. He's already paying for his crime." Jane said, "He hasn't paid enough. He still has his life…" Garrus said in anger, Jane moved away a bit, "Look at him, Garrus. He's not alive… there's nothing left to kill." Jane said but Garrus still didn't let it go, "My men… they deserved better." He said but Sidonis wanted to leave him message before he would kill him, "Tell Garrus… I guess there's nothing I can say to make it right…" he shook his head, unable to find words. Sidonis already gave up, but it seemed something happened. Garrus sent Jane another transmission, "Just… go. Tell him to go…" Garrus said and Jane was happy inside to tell this to Sidonis, "He's giving you a second chance, Sidonis. Don't waste it." She advised and Sidonis proudly stood to Jane, "I'll try, Garrus. I'll make it up to you, somehow. Thank you, for talking to him." Sidonis said and they parted their ways.
SEEKING FOR REDEMPTION
The Citadel, 2188: C-Sec academy
Lantar Sidonis took the chance Garrus Vakarian gave him and he kept his promise. At least he tried his best and applied to the C-Sec. Even though that conditions for applications were difficult to accomplish, Sidonis managed to become officer with help of one sympathetic turian officer who spoke up for Sidonis and his application. Of course, captain Bailey had quite problem to trust newcomers and especially turians. He didn't have any other choice than accepting Sidonis in C-Sec simply because Sidonis told the admissions committee that he was under leadership of Garrus Vakarian back on Omega. The committee recognized name Garrus Vakarian for various reasons such as that he was member of C-Sec (one of the best) and also that name was linked to name of Jane Shepard.
Unfortunately, Jane Shepard wasn't alive anymore. In the great war against the Reapers, she decided to control them herself and due to that, she couldn't be mortal. At first, Sidonis was occupied with crappy position of helping other officers in the academy. You know, he did paperwork mostly, printing, taking care of calls and so on. His superiors didn't want to let him to handle real struggles in public. The reason was simple. They considered him to be weak from his appearance and everyone around him would say the same. When you remember Lantar as he met commander Shepard, he was 21 and he looked quite healthy and strong.
But as you know, Lantar was still followed by his conscience. Faces of his comrades were haunting him, reminding him how he sold them out to the mercs. When Garrus forgave him and gave him second chance, Lantar felt relief that eased this guilt. Even that his guilt was less, Sidonis was putting down weight in unhealthy way. The food didn't have taste, he slept minimally. His body lacked energy and income of nutriments important for him and lost 20 kilograms in few months. Say what you what about Lantar, he may have been coward, but not evil. Garrus Vakarian changed his decision for taking revenge because he could see Lantar was already dead inside. He was paying for the things he had done and that was enough for Garrus to know he was good man and let him go. When somebody lets ten of his friends die for own survival, you may consider him monster. However, monster is the one who runs away with no emotions or feelings of guilt. Lantar felt the guilt, thus he was no monster. He promised Garrus to redeem his sins and he wanted to keep it. He wanted to earn Garrus' forgiveness honestly with hard work on himself. Although Garrus may have hated Sidonis, Lantar didn't feel it the same way towards his former boss. Lantar didn't send Garrus somewhere else just because it was part of the agreement with Blue Suns, he did it because he considered Garrus as somebody he could trust. He wished Garrus to stay alive because it was the man who saved him at Afterlife on Omega from Blood Pack and also he still considered Garrus as his friend and memory on times back on Omega.
Lantar was now 23 and he managed to get promoted into status of C-Sec officer. It was strange how time was passing quickly for him. When he met Garrus on Omega, he was 19 and it was four years since that moment. Four years while he had to survive Cerberus' and Reapers' attack on the Citadel and he managed to get himself so far to this point. Lantar was one day on his regular patrol over wards. Honestly, there wasn't much crime on the Citadel but there were always opportunities for somebody to try assassination. While taking walk through the ward, he heard somebody swearing out of one of the markets. Lantar was the only one officer around. As he approached the market, he could see some angry krogan with shotgun grasped with both hands while a turian vendor just had his arms raised up.
"Yes, that's what I want to see! Now, transfer all the weapons from your store to my account and I promise that you and your market will stay untouched." The krogan said, leaving nasty laughter as the turian went to console and started typing command for transfer of his range of goods to the krogan account, "I was thinking krogan would have some pride and steal better weapons in Terminus. Obviously black market is too mainstream, isn't it?" Lantar said, charging his gun against the krogan's hump. The krogan holstered his weapon, looking at Lantar with one of his eyes, "Crap… C-Sec never lets me work." The krogan answered shortly, "Your job is to steal stuff? Somebody should have told you about C-Sec. Now be nice and go, you'll find nice place in our detention cell." Lantar said and krogan smiled, realizing there was no way of getting from this. He turned around with the shotgun at his side and hands ready for Lantar to put handcuffs on them. Lantar pulled out the handcuffs and tied one of them around krogan's one hand. Suddenly, the krogan grabbed Lantar's talon swiftly and threw him over the desk to the turian vendor. Lantar got hit against the wall and slid down to the ground. The krogan ran outside of the market, "He's running away!" the vendor notified and Lantar grabbed the first thing that came into his talon. It was some kind of orb made of metal. Sidonis got on his feet and threw the orb outside the market at the krogan who tried to escape. The krogan looked behind himself right when the orb hit him at face. Lantar didn't know it, but the orb was stunner. Once it hit the krogan, it activated strong electric discharge and zapped him the way he got immobilized and fell to the ground.
Lantar ran outside to turn the krogan on his back and this time he made sure he had handcuffs put on and his hands behind his back, "Alright. Nice try, krogan, but you have to explain something at the precinct." Lantar said while the krogan growled. Lantar also noticed the vendor coming out of the market, walking towards him, "Thank you for your help, officer. I was thinking this bastard will make my kids become orphans." The vendor said, "This bastard can hear you…" the angry krogan said as Lantar held him, "No problem, mister…" Lantar wanted to call him by name, but didn't know it, "Tiron. Etarn Tiron. I own Rodam Expeditions to feed my children. What is your name, officer?" Etarn asked, "Lantar Sidonis. So your kids don't have mother?" Sidonis asked, "No, they don't. She died a year ago while those Cerberus attacked the Citadel." Etarn said and the krogan growled, "Hey, I'm supposed to be in detention if I am correct. Why don't you cut it and move on?" the krogan muttered and Sidonis nodded, "Right. I'm sorry but have a krogan that needs to be put under lockdown. If your business was somehow compromised, feel free to contact C-Sec Post-Criminal service that provides credits for any repairs." Lantar said, pushing the krogan so they left to the C-Sec.
Once in the C-Sec the angry krogan was put in detention, Lantar went to his office so he could write the report and archive it. Work in C-Sec was filling him with satisfaction over making some good after fucking up so badly in his previous life on Omega, it really did but still, he was sentient organic being with basic four needs – Eating, drinking, sleeping and sex. Sex was something rare for turian such as Lantar. Lantar's main interest lied in turian males and seeing all his turian colleagues in C-Sec was turning him on so much that he was glad when he could sit behind his console and adjust position of his boner the way it wouldn't bother him during the work. It was unfortunate that the C-Sec regulations didn't allow having sex during the shift because Sidonis would definitely use one now. Lantar was desperate when he didn't receive good pounding for a long time. His desperation could go far the way that he asked a human to come over to his place and they would enjoy evening full of nice pounding. Sometimes he thought of his former boss and friend Garrus, but if he knew something, it was that Garrus wasn't into dudes so only that told Lantar to fuck off while thinking about hooking up with him.