"Promise me you won't be heartbroken when he goes running back to Estella"
It comes like a slap in the face those words; I never contemplation Merry might leave me for Estella.
I know they where together once but it never came to anything, Merry would tell me of her while smoking his pipe and drinking his ale.
Telling me how she smothered him and thought of me as a bad influence, so blind to that fact that Merry had taught me.
But she was not so blind to my love for him.
And then they had fought about me, Merry wouldn't listen to the truth about me and Estella wouldn't take his refusal for an answer so they had split and Merry had come home to me, lane his head in my lap as I stroked away his tears.
I fell so deep in love with him then I couldn't deny him anything; so when he asked for something to make the pain I gave him it.
Foolish Took I am.
Merry begged me never to talk of it so we did not, but then he had wanted more and still I could not decline him.
He stole kisses from me in dark places and then stole me away up to the bedrooms for what ever might appeal to him that night, and I let him.
But I had to tell someone.
My first thoughts where to Frodo but he was so rapped up in his own problems with Sam.
then I thought of Estella who knew me for what I was, but I knew her for what she was too.
A snake waiting for me to reveal the evidence to her.
My sister Vincia proved to be the one I talked to in the end, she had no raised eyebrows or looks of disgust.
But Vincia is a pessimist, cynical to the end and what she said was well the end of me.
"your such a pessimist, Vincia" I said, voice trembling.
"I'm a realist Pippin dear"
I can't listen to her, I won't.
*****************************
TBC