Disclaimer: What, you think I'm genius enough to come up with a guy like Edward?

I'll just stay for a little while. I try to rationalize my actions to myself, telling my brain and my heart that I'm only here for her safety. Or for my thirst. The monster in me wants her, but so does the human buried deep within the predator.

I just want to know her. I just want to see her unguarded, just his once. I make these feeble promises to myself, all the while trying to keep the monster at bay.

I scale the wall of Chief Swan's house and slide the window swiftly open. It sticks a bit from being closed for so long, but it doesn't slow me down. I get through the window, and despite my mental preparations, the monster in me begs for her blood.

I try sitting as far from her as possible, in an old rocking chair that could only be a family heirloom. I settle in for a night of watching. Of listening. A night of her.

As is sit, I begin thinking about all the human boys who are just so infatuated with her. She doesn't know her own power. The monster in me knows that any one of those immature suitors would be immensely better for her than I would, but the human in me just wants to hold her forever. The monster tells me to either get on with the kill or leave her before I do any more damage. But the human in me is filled with a jealous rage at the mere thought of someone like Mike Newton spending forever with someone like Bella. I certainly don't deserve her, but neither do they.

My mind knows that I should leave her. It knows what Alice has seen. I'll kill her regardless. Either her body perishes or her soul does. And I refuse to be responsible for this beautiful woman's demise. The monster in me wants her, and so does the human in me. My mind is the only part of me that is thinking clearly, thinking about her best interests.

As I sit, battling with what I know is right and what I know I want, Bella begins to stir. I freeze, praying she won't wake up.

"Edward." She speaks my name so clearly, and I'm positive that she's awake. I wonder briefly why she's not more terrified to find that mysterious and reclusive boy from her biology class sitting in her rocking chair, but then she just rolls over and sighs, as if she wishes for nothing but me.

In that moment, I know what needs to be done. I know that even though the monster in me wants her and that the human in my loves her, I must go. My mind knows that I can't just go on pretending that she doesn't exist or acting like she doesn't hold the appeal that she does. I know that even though I love her more than anything else, and that she is probably the only thing in the world that could ever make me truly happy and complete, I must leave. As painful as it is to think of her being with Mike Newton or someone, anyone else, I know that I can't take her life away. I can't kill her. I love her, so I have to leave her before I get the chance to hurt her. I have to leave her life to fate, and stop putting her in danger.

I take a ragged breath, debate touching her in a final goodbye, and flit out the window before Bella could ever know what has taken place.

I begin to run, faster than I ever have before, desperate to escape the monster in me who longs to kill her and frantic to outrun the human in me who only would have hurt her anyway.