Masking True Identity
Author's Note: Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and admit that I've never seen the Fushigi Yuugi series in anime (or read the manga). My information comes mainly from Fushigi Yuugi Eikoden, which came after the series but was still very informative. I recommend watching it if you can find it…wait! I'm getting sidetracked…This fic was inspired because I'm random and thought that Chichiri looked sad beneath his eyes even if they are always in the happy mode (^-^). Please review this story! (Bows and gives puppy eyes)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the plotline, and even then I'm not really sure…
Warnings: OOC, Mention/intent of suicide, nudity, depressingness, yaoi, guys who look and sound like women, male-pregnancy…I think that's it…If anybody finds something that I forgot, please let me know what I forgot…
The monk warrior finally retired to his room. The Suzaku Seven had been staying at the palace for a short break. He hated to admit it, but he was lonely. The other warriors had been doing things together ever since they had summoned the phoenix deity, before then even.
So, to hide that he was feeling lonely and more than a little down, Chichiri studied spells. Day in and day out, the monk warrior could be found in Hotohori's private study or locked in his own quarters, buried in a pile of dusty scrolls.
Chichiri lay back on his bed. 'I hate this…'He thought. 'I hate myself so much, I wear a mask. It's not that I really like my scars either…but still.'
'People are really odd, y'know? They see that you have a scar; they pity you and ask what happened over and over. People see that somebody's not as happy as they think you should be, and it's the same story. Only then, people try to make everything 'better'. They don't even realize that they're hurting more than they're helping.' He contemplated.
He sighed and rolled the dusty scroll on his chest back up. Chichiri already knew that he wouldn't be able to accomplish anything in this mood. "I just wish they would try to understand, y'know!" He said to no one. It felt good to vent what he was feeling aloud.
There was a sudden knock at the door, three sharp raps. Tamahome. With a sigh, Chichiri composed himself. Putting on the "carefree" lie of a look that he wore for his teammates, he answered the door.
"Ah, Tamahome! What can I do for ya?" He asked. Secretly he hoped it was something he could turn down. It was awkward enough just being in the same room as the others.
"I just wanted to see if you were okay. And Hotohori wants you to eat dinner with us tonight. It'll be just like old times, all the Suzaku Seven together. Please? We haven't seen you without a scroll for close to a week." The brunette said.
"Well if it's what Hotohori wants, of course I'll eat with you guys. It gets kinda dusty if you try to eat in here, y'know?" He joked, trying to lighten the mood and take the focus away from him and his evasive habits.
"Alright then, I'll inform the others."
With that, Tamahome abruptly turned and walked away. He didn't really like talking like this…It was awkward to him, but most relationships had been rough for him after the ogre mark was removed.
'Awkward~' thought the monk as his shut the door, his so-called mask of cheer fading away. He slumped down against the door frame. The brunette was just so…so tired of always having to be the happy one…the one who kept the mood light and joking…the one who couldn't cry…
'I'll see how dinner goes. If I'm still completely ignored and alone, I'll just come back here and pack. Maybe I could say that I'm going on a long training journey…they might buy that. Or they just won't care. But I can go off into the mountains and get myself killed by some monster and it'll look like I just couldn't stop the creature instead of suicide. Yeah…that sounds good…' Chichiri planned.
An hour later, Chichiri headed to the main dining hall and sat with the other Suzaku warriors. He was a little nervous sitting between Chiriko and Mitsukake, the wiser two of the bunch. The monk was slightly worried that they would be able to notice that something was wrong with him.
To Chichiri's relief, he didn't think that anyone had noticed his particularly blue mood. After the lavish meal, he excused himself to the luxurious baths Konan was famous for (Maybe). Unknown to him, however, someone had noticed how strange he was acting and had decided to follow him.
"Um…knock-knock…"said the tawny haired Tasuki as he entered the baths.
Chichiri was silent in his contemplative state of mind and didn't notice as the former bandit made his way over and stripped. The monk only awoke from his meditative state when he noticed a warm body next to his and a hand on his shoulder, shaking him lightly.
"Gah! Oh…Tasuki…when did you get here? I didn't really notice y'know?" Chichiri said, explaining why he'd screamed at the sight of his teammate. Immediately, the monk wished he hadn't removed his physical mask to bathe. Instead, he scrunched his eyes closed and smiled at the other boy.
Tasuki wasn't smiling back.
"Cut the crap, Chichiri. I know you're not yourself, so what's really going on?" The lightning sword wielder asked seriously.
"Wha…What are you talking about? I'm just like I always am." The monk replied cheerfully, even though he was a total wreak on the inside. 'How does he know? Am I slipping? I thought I could pretend better than this!' he thought. Even though he was still smiling, tears began to run down his face.
"If that's true, then why are you crying? You don't normally show those emotions in front of us. They usually only see your happy face or your serious face. I know better. Why do you do this Chichiri? You hide away from everyone and everything, and it builds up until it explodes out of you…"Tasuki told him.
Chichiri hadn't been aware that Tasuki paid so much attention to him, but it was probably a lie too. 'Nobody cares about me.' He thought.
"You wanna know why I 'hide' from you guys? It's because I don't feel like being a seventh wheel…Nobody cares about Chichiri…No! Don't you dare say I'm wrong. I f any of you actually cared, wouldn't you have said something a little sooner? Noticed a little earlier? I'm just so tired of it all…" He said. Tasuki had made him mad. To be honest, it was probably the first real emotion he'd felt in over a month. Fuming, he got out of the bath and stormed back to his room. The monk just barely remembered to grab a towel to shield himself from prying eyes.
Chichiri collapsed onto his bed and began to weep. It wasn't even a manly weep, it was flat-out childhood bawling. 'Tasuki didn't completely ignore me and he noticed that I was having problems…so should I go through with the plan or not?' He pondered, flipping over onto his back, leaving the towel underneath him. So Chichiri was completely naked when Tasuki came in after him.
"Please don't run away, Chichiri. You didn't even give me a chance to respond." Tasuki said. Then he saw that his teammate was buck-naked in front of him. The tawny haired boy blushed a deep red.
"Okay. Respond." The monk replied blankly.
"You're not a seventh wheel. Where would you even get that idea? Chiriko is with Mitsukake and Nuriko is definitely sleeping with Hotohori. But Tamahome and I aren't together…Nah, he's all lovey-dovey with Miaka. I thought you knew all that."
"…no, I just assumed…"
"That's right, so don't just assume things. I bet you also don't know that I…never mind…" Tasuki stopped talking suddenly as he blush deepened in color.
Chichiri looked over at him and sat up, curious. "What don't I know about you?" He asked.
"Nuthin'! Just know that we do care a lot about ya'. Even if we don't show it all the time, the Suzaku seishi are like a family. Families stick together and don't keep secrets that hurt people, even if it's themselves." Tasuki said, sitting down next to him, mindful of the nudity.
"Oh? We both know different from that. So what were you going to say? You might want to tell me now because I'm leaving on a journey soon. I'll be gone before dawn." Chichiri said solemnly. He meant every word. He really would be gone by dawn…this time forever.
The monk felt an arm cradle his shoulders."Please don't leave, Chichiri…that won't solve anything."Tasuki said gently.
"Oh? The way I see it, you'll all be much better off if I'm gone."
"I wouldn't be better off…He said quietly. "Chichiri, what I'm trying to tell you is…um…Suzaku, this is hard! What I'm saying is that I luu…lov…I love you, ya' stupid monk! So don't you dare be trying ta leave me all by my lonesome. I'll just follow after you like I always do." Tasuki looked deeply into the brunette's eyes.
Chichiri could tell he was sincere in his confession.
"Why would you love someone like me? I don't deserve love. Especially not from somebody as wonderful as you…" He replied dejectedly. He was only stating what he knew was true, but Tasuki looked upset.
" How could you even think that, Chichiri? Of course you deserve love! You've certainly earned it. I love you, ya stupid monk and don't you doubt it neither!" exclaimed the bandit. Before that monk could even say anything, Tasuki continued.
"And if you go off and die, you better be sure that I'll be there a few seconds later." He said firmly.
Chichiri was stunned. Somebody actually cared enough about him to not want to live in a world without him. The brunette mumbled something quietly as he grabbed a thin and worn cotton robe that he wore underneath his other clothes.
"What was that?" The redhead asked.
"I said thank you…and I love you." Chichiri replied, still quiet.
For once in his life, Tasuki didn't say anything. He just grabbed his friend in a hug and ran a calming hand through his silky locks. Then he kissed him on the forehead before gently pulling away.
"You're under my personal suicide watch. I'm staying with you tonight. I'm not doing this to hurt you in any way, I just don't want you to suffer…I'll stay in that chair over by your desk if you don't want to share a bed."
"You…you can share my bed if you want to. We just won't do anything that the other doesn't wanna do…"Chichiri replied.
Tasuki was wierded out by this whole deal. He didn't like it when Chichiri was like this, it made him different. Not bad different, just different. If this was the real Chichiri, however, then Tasuki was determined to love him even more than he had before.
"Whatever you want…"Tasuki said, giving his friend another hug. This time he kissed him on the cheek and instead of leaving the room to collect anything he might require, he just sat down in the chair to watch over his love.
The next morning
When they woke up, Chichiri and Tasuki noticed three things. One, Tasuki was definitely not in the chair where he was supposed to be. Two, they were curled up together, naked, in what could only be considered a lovers' embrace. And Three, there was a definite sound of giggling.
Dreading it, the boys decided to get it over with ad see who was laughing at them. It was Nuriko, Chiriko, and Miaka.
Chichiri sighed and put on his happy face. "What can I do for ya today?" He asked. If he acted weird, he could blame it on being woken up.
"Um…heehee…we were just…heh heh...wondering if you could do a spell for me and Chiriko, but I guess you're a little busy…Nuriko said laughing. "If you could do a spell for me and Chiriko, but I guess you're a little busy…"Nuriko said laughing.
"Alrighty, give me a few minutes to get prepared for the day and I'll help you guys out." He said remembering that he was nude beneath the bed sheet. The three of them blushed and turned around. Well, Miaka blushed and turned while the other two just turned around with a sigh. Chichiri quickly pulled on his clothes and tossed Tasuki his own clothes.
"Okay-Dokey, how can I help you today?"He repeated, all smiles once again.
"Chichiri, can you make it to where Nuriko and I can bear children? Miaka just came with us for support since she can already have children." The child-like genius explained.
"Of course I can! Give me a day!" He replied with an extra large grin. With that, they left the boys alone and went off to harass Hotohori and Tamahome.
Before he started working on the spell, Chichiri turned to Tasuki. They needed to talk.
"Tasuki, what exactly happened last night?" The monk asked, narrowing his eyes and frowning.
"Um…we made love? At least that's what I would guess since we both woke up naked and I had some…stuff…on me…" Tasuki's voice grew quieter as he spoke.
Chichiri's eyes got big as he figured out what the bandit meant by "stuff". Then he burst out in laughter, the first in a long time.
"Oh Suzaku, that's funny…ah…I'm sorry…it's just the way you said it was funny…but really, I'm sorry. Are you sore at all? Any pain?" He finally asked.
"I'm a little sore, so I'm just not going to train today and I might soak in a bath tonight." The redhead said thoughtfully.
The monk sat quietly for a second. Then replied, "I may just have to join you."
With that, Tasuki left to get some food, blushing fiercely and Chichiri began to work on his patented 'male-bonding pregnancy' spell. It was pretty simple, but it required patience. The spell enchanted whoever spoke it so that they could grow a working womb temporarily. The effects would simply go away if a baby wasn't conceived by the timeframe of a month from the time of incantation. If a child was managed, the 'mother' would hopefully be holding a baby in their arms by the end of nine months.
'Hmmm…maybe I should make extra in case anybody in the village would like to make a male-pregnancy baby…Or in case I want one…wait. Where did that thought come from? Would I actually want a child of my own?' Chichiri thought as he worked diligently.