Keep Your Nungas Front And Centre
By MudbloodAndProud (Rachel)
This story is dedicated to my very own Ace Gang. You do me proud girls.
DISCLAIMER: Georgia Nicholson is a legend in her own right. I am just having fun with her. Anything you recognise belongs to Louise Rennison.
In the wild
Kissing Dave(?)
11:16
Why can't I have a quiet life?
Five seconds later
Because life is full of tragnosity, that's why.
Dave and I are comfortably climbing up the snogging scale. This is fabby and marvy and everything. Dave is clearly the King of nip libbling.
11:20
Hmm, but I did say I would be Massimo's one and only. It seems that my red bottom is back. I am like the female baboon who flashes her red bottomness for all to see.
Shuttup brain, shuttup.
Two minutes later
Maybe I should push Dave away. I don't want to be a baboon.
One minute later
Phwoar, but he is vair good at this snogging business.
Still kissing Dave
Anyway, he said he loved me. Wait, maybe that was a laugh. After all, he is called Dave the LAUGH. It would be plain meany to reject him now.
30 seconds later
Why can't we just be chums? Take the simple road, that my motto.
11:25
His arms are going up my back now. He's rubbing my shoulders, haha, its rather tickly. Hahahaaa…
One minute later
Poo, bum, and also, merde.
Turns out it was rather too tickly for the likes of me to handle. I am now drenched in water and green bits. Stupid river. They aren't good for anything, except Jas' naf wildlife. That is le fact.
Thirty seconds later
Blimey O'Reilly trousers, the water is rather nippy-noodles. My nungas are probably doing that sticky-outey thing.
Brilliant. Thank you God. Not.
Five seconds later
Dave is still fine and happy on the log too. Laughing like a loon on happy pills. He was the one who snogged the life out of me.
Where is the fairinosity in that, I ask you?
'Kittykat! The seaweed becomes you.'
'Dave you mad fool! Help me get out of here.'
Five minutes later
Note to self: Never fall into a river again.
Climbing out of a muddy bank is not fun. I am covered absolutely in mud. Mud is tres similar to poop. Same colour, same texture, same smell. I officially look like the inside of a toilet bowl. Yay.
'Are you alright there?'
'Yes Dave, I'm perfectly hunky-dory. Now hurry up and pull me out.'
Midnight
Back at the tent
Everyone seems to have some sort of fit when they see me. It must be my natural beauty; they are having an epipha-whatsit at the sight of me.
'Ohmygawd! What happened to you? You look like you're covered in poop!'
Or not.
'Thanks Jas. Nice to hear your kind words.'
'I wasn't trying to be kind… I was kind?'
Is she mad?
'Just shut up now, Jas.'
…
'Why are you staring at me like that?'
'I'm shutting up.'
She's mad.
Fifteen minutes later
Truth and dare is now officially my least favourite game.
Well, for now anyway.
'Georgia,'
'Oui.'
'Truth or dare?'
'Uhmmmm truth.'
Whisper whisper, giggle giggle.
'Ok, who do you fancy more-Robbie, Massimo, or Dave?'
Oh poo.
Everyone's staring me.
Oh baby Jesus, why?
'Hmmm… Uh… I think, like… maybe?'
Oh great, now I've turned into Ellen the ditherspaz.
I sneak a little sneaky look at Dave with extreme casualnosity.
He is acting as if he's doesn't care what I say.
One second later
How can he not care about what I think of him? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HIS LOVE! He's obviously just pretending to not be interested.
Two seconds later
It's giving me the Horn.
Shuttup brain, shuttup.
12:43
Jas is staring at me like a…um… a starey thing. The pressure is killing me. It is like the great Billy Shakespeare said- To be with him, or not to be with him. That is c'est la question. Or something like that anyway.
Fifteen seconds later
I need to say something. Everyone is eye-stalking me. It is rather scarypants. Even Ellen has shut up and is listening.
One second later
Maybe I should use the 'oldy but goody' method.
Eeny meeny miney mo…
And that's when the zip of the tent opened…
Author's Note: Haha cliffhanger... please review if you want more! Very first try at writing Georgie-esque stories, please no flames.
Hope you enjoyed!