Chapter One

Jack bounded into the Hub, still lit up like a Christmas tree with fairy lights wound around every surface Gwen had managed to decorate. It was overdone and out of place now that the holiday was long over, and Owen never stopped grumbling about it, but even Ianto had admitted that it made the Hub feel warmer on cold, dark mornings.

"Hey kids, we're home!" Jack called.

Gwen rolled her eyes in what Jack hoped was a fond, if exasperated, way. "That's so old, Jack. You need a new line."

"He's needed new lines since the day I met him," called Owen's voice from the medical bay. There were some mumbled agreements from the same vicinity. Jack exchanged a look with Gwen as they hurried over to the railing, glancing down to find the rest of their teammates.

Tosh was sitting on the bed, Ianto standing behind her with his sleeves rolled up and a plaster on the crook of his elbow. Owen was running some scans on Tosh, who appeared fine but was frowning as Owen ran his tests.

"What happened?" asked Gwen before Jack could say a word. "Tosh, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Tosh replied with a frustrated sigh. "Owen hasn't found a thing wrong, he's just being paranoid."

"Oi," said Owen, standing up and prepping Tosh's arm for a blood draw. "Do you want to wake up with tentacles and a craving for seafood tomorrow?"

"It's not fun," said Jack. "Especially the tentacles, although you can do this thing—"

"No thanks," said Tosh. Ianto frowned at Jack before looking away with an air of disapproval. "Draw the blood and make sure."

"Thank you," said Owen. "I do know what I'm talking about, you know."

"Most of the time," murmured Ianto, earning a good-natured glare from the doctor.

"What happened?" asked Gwen again. "Why do you need to make sure they're not going to grow tentacles?"

"We got zapped," Owen mumbled, bending over Tosh, then swearing. He motioned Ianto over. "Sorry, teaboy, but you helped with your own draw so can you manage Tosh's as well? Better than me nicking the artery and having her bleed out."

Ianto shrugged. "Always wanted to take up phlebotomy as a hobby," he said, and Tosh smiled.

"It's fine, Ianto," she said. "I trust you." He smiled back and followed Owen's instructions. Jack and Gwen stayed silent until they were finished so they weren't distracted. Leaning on the railing, Jack tried again, hoping to catch Ianto's eye for some sign that he was all right. "So what do we mean by zapped?"

Ianto glanced up, his eyebrows pulling together as he looked away with another frown. Jack filed it away as something to ask about later. He directed his gaze toward Owen.

"Hell if I know," the doctor replied. "We checked out that Rift alert while you two were chasing down those Weevils and found a piece of space junk in the park. And it zapped us."

"Is that a technical term, doctor?" Jack asked dryly. Owen shrugged and bandaged Tosh, then turned away to begin his analysis.

"I'm sorry, Jack," Tosh offered, standing and glancing up. "The scanner said it was safe, but I was about to pick it up and place it in the containment box when there was a bright flash. We all lost consciousness for several seconds and were on the ground when we came to."

Jack frowned down at them. "And you feel all right? You haven't noticed any side effects?"

"No sir," said Ianto, grabbing his jacket and starting up the stairs. He pulled his sleeves down and put his jacket back on before coming to stand with Jack and Gwen. "Other than a headache, that is. Which is probably normal after being zapped."

Jack crossed his arms over his chest as he studied Ianto. The other man was holding himself differently, stiffer than usual, and still wasn't meeting Jack's eyes. Something felt off, and Jack didn't like it. Alien zaps were not usually a good thing, and even if they felt fine now, it could be hours before they noticed any effects.

"Around here anything is possible. Owen, do your thing and keep an eye on everyone. Tosh, did you manage to contain the device and bring it back?"

"We certainly did," she said, joining them upstairs. "I want to know what happened!"

"I know you do," Jack laughed, touching her arm. "But don't work on it too hard. How's your head?"

"Nothing some paracetamol won't help," she replied. "I'm fine."

"Take it easy and let us know if you feel any different."

"I will," she said, and hurried off toward her station, obviously eager to examine whatever it was that they had found. Ianto turned to follow her, but Jack stopped him. "Ianto, can I see you in my office please?"

Ianto whirled, a look of such wide-eyed surprise on his face that Jack frowned, once again noting the unusual reaction. "Er, yes, sir," he stuttered. Jack had thought they were long past that; perhaps the encounter had affected Ianto more than they thought.

"Gwen, get started on the Weevil report and keep an eye on the monitors for anything else we need to chase down. Hopefully the afternoon won't be as busy as this morning." She nodded and moved away as Jack turned toward his office, Ianto reluctantly following. When they stepped inside, he watched nervously as Jack shut the door behind them.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jack started, moving closer only for the other man to step away from Jack's touch. "You seem different."

"In what way?" Ianto asked warily.

"I'm not sure," Jack replied. "Something feels off about all this. Tell me again what happened?"

Ianto rolled his eyes; that, at least, was familiar. "The same thing Owen already described. We were about to collect the object—a small, black sphere—when there was a flash of light. I remember reaching up to shield my eyes, nothing after that. We all woke up on the ground, approximately thirty seconds later, with no apparent injuries other than a headache."

Jack thought for a moment. "Have you ever seen one before, this device? In the archives, in London?"

Ianto shook his head. "It didn't look familiar, sir, but I plan to head downstairs and check the files."

"Right," Jack murmured. He was watching Ianto carefully and noticed that the Welshman was once again avoiding Jack's eyes. Maybe he was embarrassed? Or perhaps his head was bothering him more than he wanted to let on. "Look, take it easy, and make sure you have your comm on so you can call if you feel any different and need help."

"Yes, sir," Ianto replied. It was far too formal for their normal interaction, even at work as employee and boss. He turned to leave, but Jack couldn't resist calling him back.

"Ianto?"

"Yes, sir?" he asked. Jack lost his nerve; maybe Ianto was simply rattled and out of sorts. Maybe he'd be fine later.

"Never mind," Jack said, not wanting to push even though his instincts told him something was wrong. "I'll come down when it's time for lunch. Maybe we can get some fresh air together, pick something up for the team to eat?"

"Er," said Ianto, looking confused. "It's raining again, so I was planning on having it delivered, like usual. I'll report back in an hour, sir."

He dashed out the door, leaving Jack surprised and concerned, and feeling strangely hurt though he wasn't quite sure why.

Owen was convinced he was unaffected thanks to his undead state, and Tosh and Ianto appeared to be relatively fine as well. Owen had found nothing in their bloodwork to note, and neither had complained about anything else after their encounter with the alien tech that morning. Tosh's headache responded well to paracetamol, though Ianto did need more, admitting that his head was still bothering him. Tosh also seemed her normal self, but Jack still felt like something was off about Ianto. Different. Wrong.

The Welshman worked in the archives through the rest of the morning, then went up to the tourist office to collect the lunch order he'd had delivered. After which he worked in the tourist office for several hours. Though there were certainly days when they both did their own work and only met over coffee every few hours, it still felt like he was pointedly avoiding Jack. Every time he saw Ianto and made an attempt to talk to him, or touch him, Ianto responded with distance and discomfort, or frowned and backed away, as if he wanted nothing to do with Jack. He didn't seem angry or upset, but wary and increasingly confused.

When the Rift alert went off late afternoon, Jack took Gwen and Owen out to Splott, where they spent a miserable hour running down space bugs in a downpour that seemed timed to ruin their day. The creatures were the size of cats and didn't seem to like him at all, leaving Gwen and Owen to chase them into cages to transport them to the Hub. There were only half a dozen, but Jack hated them by the end, and couldn't wait to get back to the Hub to throw them in a vault, change, and warm up. He was relieved when Ianto had coffee ready for them, but disappointed when he disappeared with the space bugs almost immediately.

Once the space bugs were settled, Jack sent everyone home early for the night, hoping Ianto did not leave immediately. Gwen was the first out, as usual, followed closely by Tosh, but Owen tended to stick around longer now that he had less to do with his time. Ianto waved goodbye to the girls and began picking up. Jack leaned against the doorway to the kitchenette, watching him clean.

"You feel up for dinner tonight?" he asked, almost stepping back when Ianto turned yet another wide-eyed look on him. It was as if Jack had suggested something shocking, even though they usually had dinner together at the end of the day. Jack was certain something was wrong.

"Oh, well," Ianto stuttered, looking adorably nervous, only Jack was too worried to appreciate it because it was so out of character for such a simple question. "I was going to pick up something on my way home."

"Mind if I join you?" Jack asked, stepping into the small space. "We could call ahead to that Thai place around the corner from your flat, take it back to yours."

Ianto frowned. "Are you inviting yourself over to my flat for dinner?" he asked, sounding genuinely confused, then continued before Jack could answer. "Because I'm fine. I don't need a…a nurse or anything. You don't have to watch over me."

"Maybe I want to," Jack said. He moved closer to Ianto, who looked like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights, terrified and anxious at the same time. Jack felt awful, but something was not right, he could feel it, and he knew he had to push things to figure it out. When he reached out and took Ianto's hand, the Welshman tried to snatch it away, but Jack was prepared and held tight. "Something's wrong. Talk to me."

If Ianto could have run, Jack was fairly certain the man would be on the Plass by now. He shook his head. "Nothing's wrong, sir. I feel fine, except for a headache. Are you all right?"

"Of course I am, except for being worried about you. Why do you ask?"

"Because you've been watching me all day, like I did something wrong," Ianto replied, glancing down. "You're standing far too close for a proper boss, you asked me out to dinner, and now you're holding my hand."

"I'm not your boss," Jack murmured. "Not right now."

Ianto clearly didn't understand. He huffed nervously and took his hand away. "Are you someone else right now? Or is someone else in charge, perhaps?"

"Ianto," Jack said, sad and confused at the same time. Either Ianto was playing a very convincing and cruel game—though to what end, Jack had no idea—or he really didn't know what was going on between them. Not that Jack knew how to explain, when they sort of were what they were. "I'm worried. This isn't like you."

"What's not like me?" Ianto asked. Jack took a step closer and raised his hand to Ianto's cheek. The other man turned away from it. Jack brought his face back toward him, searched Ianto's eyes for the truth.

"It's like you don't know…you don't remember," Jack said quietly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ianto said. "Remember what?"

"Us," Jack replied, and Ianto shook his head.

"There is no us, sir."

He meant it as truth, and Jack felt his heart stutter a little in his chest. This wasn't a man who was unsure of his place in Jack's life, as Ianto was often prone to feel; nor was this a man angry with Jack and pulling away to avoid getting hurt, like he had done in the past. This was a man who genuinely seemed to have no idea that he and Jack were together.

Jack leaned forward to kiss him. Ianto watched him move closer, his eyes open wide as Jack kissed him. He did not return the sentiment and quickly pulled away. Jack let his head fall forward.

"You don't remember, do you?" he whispered. It hurt more than he would have ever thought, to be forgotten by the man he spent his days and nights with.

"Jack, what's going on?" Ianto asked, sounding scared as he finally used Jack's first name.

"I don't know," Jack said. "But we'll figure it out, I promise."

"Figure what out?" Ianto insisted. "Because I have no idea what you're talking about, why you're…why you…" He waved his hand between them, apparently at a rare loss for words.

"Why I'm what?" Jack asked. "Why I'm so worried? Why I kissed you?"

"Both," said Ianto quickly. "But especially the latter."

Jack stepped back. "Do you remember what happened this morning?" His gut told him that had something to do with it. It was when Ianto had been in the medical bay that Jack had first felt like something was different.

Ianto rolled his eyes; that much at least had not changed. "Of course I do. I haven't lost my memory, sir."

"How would you know if you did?" Jack countered. Ianto opened his mouth once, then shut it. Jack nodded. "Do you remember going out with Tosh and Owen and getting hit by the alien tech?"

"Yes, and all of Owen's tests, coupled with several instances of your usual harassment the rest of the day."

Jack sighed. "I wasn't…never mind. Do you remember anything about yesterday?"

"I spent the morning in the tourist office, the afternoon making coffee and phone calls, and went home early." He paused. "Which was good, because it was storming."

"No, we stayed here last night," Jack said. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Everything else about the day is right, but we stayed in my bunker last night because we were too wet and cold to drive back to your flat in the storm."

Ianto crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the counter. "What do you mean by 'we'? I remember going home last night, alone. It started raining as I pulled in."

"We went out to dinner on the Quay. It started raining as we walked back and we ran into the tourist office, soaking wet," Jack insisted. "Only for some reason you don't remember."

"No, I don't," Ianto replied. "Because it didn't happen. Why would we go out to dinner? Why would I spend the night in your bunker?"

Jack's hands went to his pockets as he thought about what to say, how to say it. There was no way around it. "Because we're together. Us." Ianto looked skeptical, and it hurt yet again. "Yes, you and me. We had dinner last night and spent the rest of the night in my bunker…well, trying some interesting new things."

"What?" Ianto exclaimed. He stood up straight and pushed his way past Jack back into the Hub. "You're taking the piss. You're just trying to get into my pants, like you have been for months."

"No!" Jack turned after him. "No, Ianto, it's not like that. And I'm not making it up, either. Me and you…we really are…" He trailed off at the look of scorn on Ianto's face, as if it was absurd for him to even consider the idea of being with Jack.

"I don't remember it because it's not true," Ianto told him. "Because you would never…not with me, not after the Savior, after Abaddon…and I would never…it's ridiculous, Jack! Completely, utterly ridiculous!"

"What is?" asked Owen, coming up the steps from the medical bay twirling a pencil. Ianto whirled on him.

"Nothing," he said, glancing back and forth between him and Jack. "It's nothing."

"Must be something worth shouting over," Owen said with a shrug. "Although if you two are having another lover's spat, I'm out of here, because last time was miserable." He paused and made a face. "Especially when you made up."

Ianto's eyes went wide. "Last time?" he asked, his voice sounding strangled.

"Owen," said Jack, before Owen could make a crude joke. "I think that device affected Ianto after all."

"No, it didn't, " Ianto hissed. "I'm fine!"

Owen frowned at Ianto's vehement denial. "Why?" he asked Jack. "What's wrong?"

Jack took a deep breath. "He doesn't remember things. Like me."

Author's Note:

And so begins something I've been working with on and off for a long time. I won't say anything more quite yet, as this is just the opening, but there are many things going on here, and I hope you enjoy them all. Thank you for reading!