Oh no, it's not me
I just forgot to tell you
Didn't mean, it seems obscene
We just lost track along the way
"Whatcha thinking about?" Mike Mizanin asked me as his thumb caressed my cheek, my head resting on his bare chest, covers pulled up to my chin, covering both mine and his naked body.
How much I love you. "Nothing," I whispered softly, my finger gently trailing down his arm farthest from me.
"Something's on your mind, Talia," he said softly, "I can tell. Now what is it?"
I hate how you only come to me when you want sex and I'm madly in love with you but can't tell you because that would fuck up what we have. "It's nothing, Mike, really it's not. I'm just... tired."
I couldn't see it, but I just knew a wide smirk was coming to Mike's face. He knew I was tired because of him. "Well, I'll give you a ride back home, Tiff could be here soon."
I cringed at the mention of his girlfriend's name. Tiffany. That whore from ECW. Ha. Yeah, I'm calling her a whore yet I'm the one who just had sex with a taken man. Nice one. I was a whore. I was a dirty filthy slut. I was the other woman. I even cheated on one of my boyfriends before with Mike. But that only happened once, the guilt was just to much to handle. Still though, Tiffany was a nice girl who shouldn't be getting cheated on. Yet here I was. Helping her heart get broken.
Before I could ridicule myself anymore, Mike sat up, kissed my blonde head, and gently got out of bed. I sighed and ran a hand through my now messy hair before getting up as well. As Mike pulled on his boxers and searched for his pants and belt, I pulled on my own underwear, along with my bra. I had been smart enough to look when they got tossed to the side so I didn't lose them.
After we were both dressed he came over and kissed my forehead, before resting his own against mine. His blue eyes looked right into my blue-green ones. That amazing, gorgeous smile of his came to his face.
"You know I love you, Talia," he said softly, lacing his fingers with mine.
No, you don't. You just say that so I'll stay and fuck you. I put on a convincing, fake smile. "I know, I love you, too."
And I meant it every time I said it. The situation Mike and I are in may not be so amazing, but I really did love him. As he held onto only just one of my hands now, he led me to the door.
I'll be totally honest, I hated how things were with Mike and I. But, I was to far gone to give a shit anymore.
I'm coming to terms
I'm starting to learn
This ain't all it's cracked up to be
'Cause I'm using you, you're using me
It's never as easy as we believe
Everyday I sit there in my work chair at my office, where I design outfits for the wrestlers and divas, and wonder to myself. Why am I doing this?
Why do I always give in? Why do I always tell myself, no, not to give in to Mike, but I always do. He'll call me, smooth talk a bit, and I'll be at his hotel in his pants in no time. Or I'll call him, hold back the tears that he can obviously still hear over the phone, and he'll be at my office and kissing away my problems without question. No matter what I tell myself, I never quit what our little game.
We both know we're using each other. He uses me for sex, and I use him to make myself feel good about myself. Whenever him and Tiffany get in a fight, which happens at least twice a week, believe me, or whenever she's just not around, he'll come a knockin' and I'll end up giving in to him.
Then, every time a boyfriend and I break up, which happens a lot, trust me, or whenever I'm just sitting at home, feeling down or angry, I'll call him and he never hesitates to cheat on Tiffany, his beautiful girlfriend.
I thought people said sex was easy, and that it was possible to have sex without having feelings for that person. Well, it's not easy for me. It's the hardest thing in the world for me. Believe me, sex with Mike isn't all it may seem. Sure, it's great while it's happening, really, really great while it's happening, it's down right amazing, but after, when we're sitting there, and he's holding me, that... not so great. I just feel like crying and I feel like a slut and a bad person.
When we first started our little 'fling,' we thought it was a one time thing, just a meaningless hook up, but... I fell in love. Yeah. It became not so easy.
'Cause this hurts, I can't leave
I understand, but can you
I'm just scared, you're lonely
Everyone knows you're better than me
Obviously, every time I see Mike and Tiffany together, I wanted stomp over there and tear the bitch to shreds, or ya know.. just stand there and cry. But I never could because of the fact, well, that may give away the fact that I'm madly in love with Mike. It hurts. It truly does. But I'm in love. I can't just stop seeing him. That'd torture me to no end.
Flashback
"Hello, beautiful, are you a new diva here?" I heard a voice behind me and I turned around.
"No," I shook my head. "I'm the new head designer here. I'll be designing all the stars attire."
"Very interesting," he smirked. I fell in love with that smirk the first second I saw it.
"I'm Talia," I smiled brightly and extended my hand to him, which he gladly accepted.
"Michael THE MIZ Mizanin," he smirked, kissing the top of my hand gently. "But you can just call me Mike."
"Well, it's very nice to meet you, Mike," I giggled softly as he released my hand.
"I hope you don't mind me saying, but you are extremely sexy," he said, placing a hand over his heart. "Are you sure your not a diva?"
I blushed slightly, laughing a bit. "I'm sure, I'd get killed in the ring. I wouldn't be able to do any of the moves."
"Well, if you ever want to," his smirk widened and his blue eyes twinkled. "I'd be glad to show you some of my... moves."
And then we went into his locker room and had hot sex. Classy, huh? I fell in love with him that night. Although I could never tell him that. He wouldn't understand. It's different for him, and for all men. They think sex is just sex. They'd never possibly understand how a woman can fall for a guy just because she's fucking him. But, it happened to me.
Flashback
"Please, don't leave, Talia," Mike whined. I was half way to the door when he called to me.
I sighed before turning to face him. "Why not? I don't want to be the other woman. The whore, the slut who is fucking a guy who has a girlfriend."
"Your more than that, I love you," Mike claimed, walking over and grabbing both of my hands in his. "Just... one more time. Tiffany is coming home in two days. I'm lonely without her. I need someone to be with and... I need you."
"You don't need me, you want in between my legs," I snapped.
Mike sighed and let go of my hands, running a hand over his face. "Fine. If you wanna go... go."
I stood still. I couldn't move. It was impossible. Mike knew that, too. A minute later a wide smirk came to his face. He reached out and gently grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the bed. "That's what I thought."
I'm coming to terms
I'm starting to learn
This ain't all it's cracked up to be
'Cause I'm using you, you're using me
It's never as easy as we believe
Is this what you need?
Am I what you need?
"Mike."
"T-T-T-Talia," his blue eyes were wide. He was scared. He knew he was over.
I had showed up at his hotel room in the middle of the night. Tiffany was definitely asleep. I knew because Mike was speaking, although scared-like, very quietly.
"Mike," I repeated in the same firm voice as before, not bothering to quiet down a bit.
"What are you doing here? You didn't call me and-" he started in a frantic voice, leaning down close to me so only I could hear him, not like there were many people in the hotel halls at 3 A.M.
I cut him off. "I love you."
"Uh," he ran a hand over his hair and then down his face. "Talia," his voice got softer. "I love you, too, but-"
"No," I cut him off again. "You don't. Cause if you did I'd be more then just your chick on the side."
Mike just blinked, so I continued on. "I've been in love with you since, like.. ever. So, here I am, at 3 in the mother fucking morning, with your innocent, sweet, beautiful girlfriend sleeping bed, at your hotel, telling you I am madly in love with you!"
I was screaming now. I could tell Mike was scared. Scared because of my sudden and unexpected outburst and scared because his girlfriend was a light sleeper.
"Talia... ?" came a groggy voice from behind Mike. "Talia, why are you here?"
It was Tiffany. She knew me. Everyone did. I designed their outfits for christs sake.
"Hey, Tiffany," I put on a sweet voice. "I hope I didn't disturb you."
"No, I just heard loud voices," she said, wrapping an arm around Mike's waist, his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders, those eyes of his pleading me not to tell her what we were talking about. "What were you guys talking about?"
"Oh, just, she um," Mike was sinking quickly. I rolled my eyes.
"I was asleep but had a dream and it gave me a great new for some new ring gear for Mike," I said, my voice flat, my eyes on Mike. I knew this was over.
"Aw, your dreamed about Mikey?" Tiffany giggled, wrapping both arms around her boyfriend. "That's kinda nice. But I hope you don't do it to much, cause he's all mine," she joked, giggling up at him.
I sighed and slowly shook my head. "Believe me, I won't be."
I'm coming to terms
I'm starting to learn
This ain't all it's cracked up to be
'Cause I'm using you, you're using me
It's never as easy as we believe