SPACE CADETS
"Do you think that was the last of them?" Chakotay asked Kathryn as they walked from the transport station to Admiral Paris' office. "Paris said it would be, but somehow I don't believe him."
Kathryn tugged at the collar of her dress uniform, counting the minutes until she could get out of it and into something more comfortable. "I wouldn't bet on it, these damn press conferences are endless and you know as well as I do Starfleet is going to trot us out until we drop. I am so sick of answering the same inane questions over and over again. 'Captain Janeway, what was is like in the Delta Quadrant? What did you miss the most'?"
" 'Commander Chakotay, how did you feel when you finally got home'?" He twisted his thumbs in his dimples, "Well, duh, I was real happy!"
Kathryn laughed, "Well, duh, me too! Oh, how many times have you been asked who you're dating or if we're a couple? I hear that one more time and I think I'm going to scream!"
Chakotay started laughing so hard he had to stop walking. "I think I will too. I mean, we spent seven years in the Delta Quadrant, encountered countless new species, defeated the Kazon, Vidiians, Hirogen, 8472, the Borg and on and on and that's what they want to know?"
Kathryn started walking again. "I suppose, but, you know the press, they're more interested in dirt and scandal than science and discovery. Well, with Starfleet keeping us so busy with all these speeches, photo ops, press conferences, lunches, dinners and such, at least we can answer honestly that we're not dating anyone… because we haven't had the time!"
Chakotay stopped and took hold of Kathryn's arm to stop her. "Kathryn, I'd like to talk to you about that. Assuming Paris wasn't lying and we will actually be on leave now and not trotted out for any more show and tells, how would you feel about going out to dinner with me tonight to celebrate… in civilian clothes, at some out of the way place where the press won't bother us?"
She looked down as a silly grin came to her face. "You mean for an actual date?"
"Well, yeah I do, but it doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be, it could just be going out to dinner together."
"What's the difference between going out to dinner together and a date, Chakotay?"
It was his turn for the silly grin. "Uh… whether or not you let me kiss you goodnight?"
"I see," she replied as they started walking again.
"Was that a yes, Kathryn?"
"Maybe," she replied with a coy smile.
"A maybe yes?" he asked enthusiastically.
"Maybe," she replied as she quickened her pace. She finally stopped and turned him to face her. "Yes, Chakotay, I'd like to go out to dinner with you tonight."
"But, would it be a date, Kathryn?"
"Maybe," she replied as she walked on.
He ran to catch up to her as he said, "You like to tease me and drive me crazy, don't you?"
"No maybes about that!" she replied as they entered headquarters. "And I'm very good at it, aren't I?"
Paris was waiting for them in the lobby and ushered them to his office, asked them to sit and had his aide bring in a tray of fresh coffee.
Kathryn drained about half her cup before she sat it down, loosened the top of her uniform and sighed, "Oh, Owen, I am so sick of all these damn press conferences, please tell me they're over and I can go home, rest and be anonymous again."
Paris shuffled some PADDs on his desk, "About that, Katie…"
"Oh no, Owen," she interrupted, "You said this would be the last one and we'd have official leave starting after it. I swear, I am so tired and burnt out and sick to death of faking smiles, shaking hands, answering the same stupid questions over and over again, eating rubber chicken…"
Admiral Paris held up his hands to cut her off. "Katie, Katie, you will have leave, I promise, but…"
She stood and slammed her hands on her hips. "But what? No buts, Owen, please! I know Chakotay and I are Starfleet's golden children and you need to trot us out for PR because, after the wars, the best and brightest aren't exactly lining up to have Starfleet send them into space to die, but we have done our bit and I honestly don't think I can take another day of being nice to a bunch of idiots taking my picture and asking me dumb ass questions!"
Chakotay broke his silence. "With all due respect, Sir, she's right, we have done everything Starfleet has asked of us and we really are burnt out. Except for those three days before the debriefings started, we haven't had a moment off and we've had to put up with one thing after another. Kathryn is tired and misses her family, please let her go home, Sir."
Owen was near laughing at their tirades by now. "Chakotay, Kathryn, if you'd let me get a word in edgewise, which us admirals usually get to do, you will both be on leave in an hour, I swear! I'm only asking you to do one more thing, probably won't even take a whole hour, and then you two can disappear for three months, guaranteed, and it doesn't even involve reporters."
Chakotay was suspicious. "If it isn't reporters, then what is it? We don't have to eat more rubber food, do we?" He looked at his watch, "I have dinner plans this evening, Sir."
"Oh, I see," Paris said as he smiled. "And do you have plans this evening too, Katie?"
"Yes, Sir," she looked at Chakotay out of the corner of her eye and smiled, "I have plans too, first time in seven years, and I really don't want to be late."
Owen leaned back in his chair and smiled. "Well, you won't be late, I promise. It's very simple. There's a group of Space Cadets taking the tour at the visitor center, from some small farm town in Iowa I think, or Nebraska, or maybe it was North Dakota, what's the difference? I don't remember, someplace in the Midwest and none of them have even been into space. Anyway, all you have to do is meet them, talk a little, answer their questions and pose for a group picture at the end, no more than an hour. After that, it's ninety days of leave, guaranteed!"
"Space Cadets?" Chakotay chuckled. "What, is it liberty day at the funny farm? A science fiction convention? Sir, Kathryn and I have already met all the stupid people we can stand!"
"No, no!" Paris waved his hand, "Space Cadets, they stared them about five years ago, they're like the Space Scouts, but organized by the Federation to get young kids interested in a Starfleet career. The group started in Paris and, apparently, they never realized that the name wouldn't translate too well into English. The group leader is a good friend of my wife's sister-in-law, or her cousin or something like that. Anyhow, I'd consider it a personal favor."
Kathryn poured herself another cup of coffee and toasted Admiral Paris with it. "Kids? I'm going to need reinforcements! Owen, you know I'm not very good with children and I really do have plans." She looked at Chakotay and gave him a sly grin. "Chakotay is great with kids, you know, being an Indian and all, they find him fascinating, so why don't you just send Chakotay?"
Chakotay smiled pleasantly until he realized what Kathryn had said. "What? No, no, Sir, I'm terrible with children, can't stand them, scare the crap out of them, so send Kathryn! She's an aunt and she is your granddaughter's godmother, after all, so she's very good with children, Sir!"
"I am not!" she protested. As Admiral Paris was busy looking for something on his desk, Kathryn grabbed Chakotay by the ear, pulled him to her and whispered, "If you don't shut up, you won't have a date tonight, my dear." She let him go, looked up and smiled as Chakotay rubbed his ear and stifled his pain. "Just send Chakotay, Sir."
Paris got up from his desk and smiled as he pointed to the door. "Kathryn, Chakotay, they're six year old kids, they're harmless! They're waiting for you in the small auditorium of the visitor center, were promised they'd get to meet Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay and you are both going and that's an order." Kathryn got up, huffed and walked out the door towards the turbolifts. Chakotay shrugged his shoulders, grinned and started to follow her, but Admiral Paris stopped him and whispered, "Take Katie to Chez Thierry's on Fisherman's Wharf, it's small and private and she loves the food there!"
Chakotay was taken aback and blushed as his chin dropped. "Yes, Sir, thank you. Admiral, how did you know Kathryn and I were going out together?"
Paris gave him a pat on the back as he followed him out. "You don't get to be an admiral by being stupid, Son." Paris stopped Chakotay and shook his hand. "Just promise me you'll take good care of my Katie and treat her right."
"Always, Sir!"
When they arrived at the visitor center, a pair of young Starfleet cadets met them and ushered them backstage as an officer onstage was telling the kids about Voyager. The two cadets chatted quietly off to the side as they waited, but immediately snapped to attention any time Kathryn or Chakotay looked at them. They could see one of them had a camera, so they smiled at one another, went to them and posed with each of them for pictures.
"Another happy customer," Kathryn giggled as she peeked through the curtain to the audience. "There's only about twelve or fifteen of them and they look bored shitless, I bet this won't take long."
"Gosh I hope not," Chakotay replied as he nervously paced. "Kathryn, would you like to have dinner at Chez Thierry tonight for our date or not a date?"
"Yes, that's my favorite restaurant in San Francisco, how did you know?"
"I have my sources," he replied as he rocked on his heels and puffed out his chest."
"So you do," Kathryn said as she adjusted his collar and gave his chest a pat. She could hear that they were being introduced on stage, so she adjusted her collar, smoothed her jacket and pasted on her best fake smile as she said, "Come on, Chakotay, smile."
He yanked at the uncomfortably tight collar of his dress uniform. "This thing's so tight it cuts off my circulation, I can't!"
When they started out on stage Kathryn leaned to Chakotay, put her hand on the small of his back and gave him a pat as she said "By the way, it is a date," as they greeted the children's applause with two of the most genuine smiles they'd ever had.
Kathryn and Chakotay were well versed in the Voyager spiel, so each of them spoke for about ten minutes before they took seats on stage and the officer in charge of the group asked if there were any questions. No hands went up and they thought they were home free until a chubby little boy raised his hand, stood and asked, "Captain Janeway, how old are you?"
She looked to the officer in charge of the children or for their group leader, hoping one of them would correct the child that he had asked an inappropriate question, however they had apparently both suddenly vanished. Normally Paris sent an aide with them to head off any such questions or politically or security sensitive ones, however he must have thought they could handle a group of six year olds without one. Not being proud and wanting to get out as fast as possible, Kathryn gave the little boy a wan smile and replied. "I'm forty seven." The child remained standing, so she added, "Was there anything else?"
"Nope," he replied as he sat back down, "It's just that my grandma is forty nine and you look way older than her. Are you sure you're forty seven?"
"Quite," Kathryn replied as she slouched in her chair. Another hand shot up immediately, so she sat back up and pointed to the little girl. "Do you have a question, Sweetheart?"
The little girl stood. "My name isn't Sweetheart, it's Abigail Annette Eliza Dreyfus-Brody!"
"Forgive me, Miss Brody," Kathryn apologized.
"It's Dreyfus-Brody and it's Ms, not Miss, Captain Janeway."
"I see, excuse me! Well, what would you like to know, Ms Dreyfus-Brody?"
"I saw you on the news talking with your crew at some press conference and they called you 'Ma'am'. Well, I know Starfleet protocol says that all officers be addressed as 'sir', so how come you let them call you ma'am? That's sexist, Captain Janeway, you shouldn't let them treat you any differently because you're a woman; it defeats years of progress in women's rights, you know!"
"Well…," Kathryn stalled for time as the question took her aback. "Actually, I prefer to be addressed as 'Captain', but I prefer ma'am to sir, so I guess I'm just a little old fashioned."
The chubby boy poked Abigail, "See, I told you she's lying and she's really really old!"
Abigail put her hands on her hips. "Well, when I get to be a starship captain, they are all going to call me sir!"
"I have no doubts about that," Kathryn said as she shook her head and chuckled. "Does anyone have a question for Commander Chakotay?" A hand shot up, so Kathryn acknowledged the little boy. "Yes?"
He stood and proudly showed off his sash. "My name is Vijay Gupta and I have nine merit badges and I want to be a tactical officer, see?"
Chakotay went to the edge of the stage, lifted the boy onto the stage and examined his sash. "That's very impressive, Cadet Gupta! Do you have a question for me?"
The little boy snapped to attention as he looked up. "Wow, you're really big!"
Taking it as a compliment, Chakotay puffed out his chest again and asked, "Do you have a questions for me, Cadet Gupta?"
"Yeah, I mean, yes, Sir. What did you have for breakfast?"
Chakotay laughed as he just had a new entry for his dumbest questions I've been asked list. "I had tea, scrambled eggs and a sweet roll."
The little boy looked up and smiled. "Uh, maybe you shouldn't have had that sweet roll?"
Chakotay smoothed his uniform before he lifted the boy back down to the auditorium floor. "It's the dress uniforms, they make you look fat!" he replied as he realized all those press tour luncheons and dinners and not having time to exercise had taken their toll.
Kathryn grinned as she smoothed her jacket, for she knew she'd put on a kilo or two as well and the new dress uniforms they'd been issued when they returned were now more than a little tight. She pointed to an eager hand waving back and forth. "Yes, Cadet, a question?"
The little girl stood and giggled. "Please tell me about Ensign Harry Kim, I think he's really really cute! What's he like and does he have a girlfriend? How come he's not here? I really wanted to meet Ensign Kim!" The question was accompanied by twitters and giggles from all the little girls.
It was contagious and Kathryn began giggling as well, as Harry had literally and unwillingly become the poster boy for young girls everywhere. "Well, Ensign Kim is very nice, he's very intelligent, works very hard and he's a fine officer. I'm sorry he's not here, I'm not sure where he is today."
"Is he as cute in person?"
Kathryn smiled and nodded her head. "Yes, he's just as cute in person."
"Does he have a girlfriend?" the child reminded.
"Well, I really don't know," Kathryn replied.
"Do you have a boyfriend, Captain Janeway?" another child asked.
She again desperately looked for the group leader, who was still nowhere to be found. Kathryn finally composed herself, looked at the little girl and smiled. "Yes, I do."
"Is he cute?"
"Oh yes, he's very cute… tall, dark and handsome!" Kathryn replied as she propped her chin on her hand. Her reply was met with a chorus of ohhs and ahhs from all the little girls. Kathryn desperately wanted to see Chakotay's face, but she didn't dare look at him and take the chance of giving away their secret. She knew Chakotay wasn't very good at poker and his face would be telling the whole story right about now and, if she saw it, she would be too.
A little boy jumped up and eagerly asked, "Commander Chakotay, is it true you're a real Indian and you know lots of cool Indian stuff?"
"Yes, it's true, my ancestors were Native Americans," he replied as he sat back and proudly crossed his arms over his chest, "and the Indian skills I learned as a boy came in very handy on many occasions out in the Delta Quadrant."
"Except one," Kathryn added as she glanced over, gave him a coy smile and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Except one", he capitulated as he returned her smile and let out a sigh.
As the session went on, they were peppered with more questions from the children:
"Captain Janeway, where are you from?"
"Bloomington, Indiana."
"Commander Chakotay, what's your favorite color?"
"Blue."
"What was the worst part about being lost for seven years?"
"Missing our families and friends."
"Commander Chakotay, do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"Yes, an older sister."
"What about you, Captain Janeway?"
"I have a younger sister named Phoebe."
"Did you ever have to eat worms, Captain Janeway?"
"Yes," she giggled in reply to such a silly question as she winced in childlike fashion. "I'm pretty sure we did!" she confessed as a fond but nauseating image of Neelix in his colorful chef's hat saying "even better than…" came to mind.
"Commander Chakotay, do you want to go out into space again or are you scared because you might get lost again for a long time?"
That simple question was one that he'd never been asked before and he had to think before he answered. "If Starfleet orders me to a deep space mission again, of course I'd go. I wouldn't be scared because I never lost faith that Captain Janeway would get Voyager home, but I really think I'd prefer to stay here now, maybe settle down, buy a house, get a dog, plant a garden…" He looked at Kathryn and smiled.
"Are you crying, Captain Janeway?" a cute little pigtailed girl asked.
She quickly wiped her face and smiled, "No, no, of course not, I just have… something in my eye." Kathryn spied an anxious little hand that had been bobbing up and down for some time, so she called on the boy. "Yes, you have a question, Cadet?"
He stood and bowed his head as he turned red. "No, I need to go to the bathroom, please."
Kathryn smiled and adopted a formal posture as she tried not to laugh. "Very well, you are dismissed, Cadet." The little boy stayed and fidgeted as he crossed his legs. "Is there are problem, Cadet?"
"Yes," he sheepishly replied as the other children started snickering, "I can't go alone, the lady said we had to stay together and couldn't go anywhere without a grown up. I really need to go, Ma'am!"
Kathryn shushed the other children and looked for the group leader or the officer in charge, but they were still nowhere to be found. "Very well," she said as she stood and turned to Chakotay. "Commander Chakotay, you are in charge of the cadets, carry on!"
"Aye, aye, Captain!" he replied as he stood and snapped to attention.
Kathryn leaned over and whispered, "I'll take the kid to the john and see if I can find their leader or the officer in charge of them on the way back. Try to wrap this up and see if we can get out of here when I get back, OK? You can handle them, can't you?"
Chakotay shrugged his shoulders, nodded and gave Kathryn a grin as he called on another child.
Kathryn left the stage, took the little boy by the hand and led him from the auditorium. "The bathrooms are just down here at the end of the corridor." She could see the poor child was embarrassed, so she added. "Don't worry, Cadet, nothing to be embarrassed about, even out in the Delta Quadrant people had to go to the bathroom. What's you name?"
"Bobby Preston, Ma'am. Please hurry!" he urged as he tugged on her hand to make her go faster.
Kathryn quickened her pace down the long hall and let go when they reached the men's room. "Go ahead, Bobby, I'll wait here for you."
The child bolted into the men's room without bothering to say thank you, as he had obviously waited way too long to let someone know he needed to use the bathroom as children all too often do. Kathryn smiled as she remembered a similar incident with her young nephew when she took him to the Smithsonian for the first time. Her fond memory was interrupted as she felt a tug on the hem of her jacket from behind and turned to see a tear streaked little face. She knelt down and asked, "What's wrong, Bobby? You're old enough to use the bathroom by yourself, aren't you?"
He shook his head and looked down. "Captain Janeway, I… I… I don't think I got to the bathroom in time." When she looked and saw the poor child's pants were wet, he started crying in earnest. She stood and grabbed his hand, "Come on, I'll take you in the ladies room and see if I can get you cleaned up, Sweetheart."
"Oh no, I ain't goin' in the ladies room, I'm a boy and I'm too old, my daddy said so!" he replied as he tugged her towards the men's room door.
Kathryn stood her ground. "Bobby, I can't go in the men's room!" She knelt down and wiped the tears from his face. "It's OK, I'll go in the ladies room with you, nobody will know."
"No!" he protested loudly as he started jumping up and down.
"Shhh!" Kathryn said as she looked around. "Is your squad leader here, can he take you in the men's room?"
"No, our leader is Mrs. Gupta, she can't. She went with the Starfleet lady to get coffee, she said she had a headache."
Wonder why? Kathryn thought as she tried to quiet the child. "OK, OK, calm down please! Bobby, was there anyone else in the men's room?" Bobby shook his head no as Kathryn scanned the corridor and found it to be deserted. She took his hand and started for the men's room. "OK, Cadet, you go in and make sure there's nobody in there again and then come get me." He was hesitant so she added. "That's an order, Cadet, I'll wait right here by the door, I promise." The child was whiny and hesitant, so Kathryn poked her head in the men's room and called out, "Is there anyone in here?" Receiving no reply, she and Bobby went in.
Bobby stood there are tried to cover the huge wet spot on the front of his pants as he asked, "What are we going to do, do you have more pants? I can't go back out there like this, they'll all know what happened and tease me." He looked down as he started to cry again, "This happens to me a lot. Mom always has more pants, are you sure you don't have some pants?"
Kathryn turned out her pockets and shook her head as she laughed, "Sorry, fresh out! I tell you what, you go in the stall, take off your pants and hand them to me and I'll wash them out in the sink and use the hand dryer on them and then give them back."
Bobby was skeptical. "Are you sure that'll work, Captain Janeway?"
"Of course, in Starfleet you learn to improvise when necessary! Go on, we'll have you back in a jiffy and nobody will know, I promise."
Bobby did as told, took off the soggy pants and shoved them under the toilet stall door to Kathryn. She took them to the sink, rinsed them out, wrung them as best she could and held them under the hand drier. The drier was designed to sanitize and dry hands in a flash, but it soon became apparent pants would take a while longer. As she was turning and fluffing them under the drier, she suddenly became aware her feet were getting soggy and turned around to see water cascading from the toilet stall and flooding the men's room. "Oh my gods!" she shouted as she shut off the drier that had been making so much noise she didn't hear the water. "Bobby, are you alright? What happened?"
"Nothing," he replied.
She rolled up her pants legs to keep them dry. "This doesn't look like nothing, what did you do? Can't you stop it?"
"Uh, no, I can't stop it. I flushed my underpants down the toilet and now there's a waterfall. It looks really cool!"
Kathryn banged on the door. "Bobby, let me in, we have to stop it, the bathroom is getting flooded!
"I know, it's really neat, isn't it?" he replied as she could hear him jumping up and down and splashing.
She kept pounding. "Let me in. Cadet, you're damaging Starfleet property and they'll throw us both in the brig for that!" The tactic worked and Bobby let Kathryn into the stall and she was able to shut off the water, which was gushing from the toilet at a surprisingly fast rate. "OK, you wait here and I'll finish drying your pants."
"Yes, Ma'am. Sorry, but it was real fun, wasn't it?"
Kathryn shook her head. "Not exactly my idea of a good time, young man." She turned and reached for the knob on the stall door, but it was missing. "Bobby, what did you do with the knob, how did you unlock the door before?"
"I took it off so nobody could come in. Here it is," he replied as he took it out of his shirt pocket and showed it to her. "Oops!" he said as he dropped it and it rolled out into the center of the bathroom.
Kathryn tried to use her fingers to open the door, but to no avail. She looked under it, but realized, with the floor all wet, sliding under wasn't a good option. She grabbed the door and tried to pull herself up to climb over, but it was difficult as she couldn't get any traction with her wet boots. "Bobby, a little help here, I'm too short and I keep slipping, can you give me a push?"
"Sure!" he replied as he gave her the boost she needed. "Wow, Captain Janeway, you got a really big butt!"
"Thanks a lot!" she replied as she scrambled over the door and landed rather ungraciously… in front of two camera laden Ferengi men, obviously tourists.
They looked at her and each other with great curiosity and finally bowed politely as one of them said, "Forgive us, we thought this was the male waste extraction facility." He slapped the other man on the back of the head, "Grom, I told you this was the wrong one! Their writing symbols all look alike, just like them!"
The other took out his Federation Standard-Ferengi dictionary PADD, opened the bathroom door and pointed to the sign on the door. "See! See! This is the right one, the Hooman is wrong! Everyone knows females are too stupid to read!"
Kathryn gathered her wits quickly as she heard Bobby snickering from the other side of the door. "Uh, yes, it is, but it's down for maintenance, sorry. Why don't you use the bathroom in the lobby? It's right by the turbolifts."
The two men spoke quietly in Ferengi before one of them grinned and asked, "Are you Captain Janeway? I'm sure we recognize you from the news. Can we take your picture?"
Kathryn reached up and covered her pips with her hand as she pretended to scratch. "Uh, no, of course not! I'm a maintenance technician, I just look a lot like her, I get it all the time. Captain Janeway is much taller and prettier. Um… I hear she plays tennis every afternoon, so she's probably on the tennis courts right now, so why don't you run down there are look for her?" They still seemed unconvinced, so she added, "What would Captain Janeway be doing fixing a toilet in the men's room, gentleman?" She tried to herd them towards the door. "Please use the bathroom in the lobby, it's wet in here, very dangerous, contaminated maybe."
"Ugh!" they shouted as they headed for the door, but not before one of them snapped her picture.
"Oh great!" she groused as she found the door knob and passed it under the door, back to Bobby, and started working on his pants again. "OK, just hold on, you fix the door, wait in there and I'll have your pants dry in a minute."
When Kathryn finally had Bobby's pants dry, she poked her head out of the men's room door and looked up and down the corridor to make sure nobody was there. As late as it was, she figured all the tourists had gone as the last tour was at 1500 and the two Ferengi were probably stragglers from the last tour group. She slipped off her jacket as she had gotten the sleeves wet when she shut off the water to the overflowing toilet and the wet splotches were very apparent and unsightly and she knew she had to go back in and pose for pictures with the kids. Kathryn suddenly realized she hadn't bothered to wear an undershirt under her jacket that day as the press conference they had just come from was held outdoors at an ambassador's home in a very warm and humid South American city she'd already forgotten the name of. It wouldn't take long to dry the sleeves, so she figured she'd just ask Bobby to wait in the stall while she did. Kathryn laid her jacket on the counter and passed the pants under the stall door as she said, "Bobby, hurry and put your pants back on and…" She stopped and turned as she came to the eerie realization that they were not alone.
"Captain Janeway!"
"Commodore Sandoval!" Kathryn automatically snapped to attention before she realized she was standing there in her bra and crossed her arms over her chest as she tried to figure out how to get past him to retrieve her jacket.
The poor old man was obviously so shaken he took a few steps back and leaned on the counter to steady himself, with his considerable backside firmly planted on Janeway's jacket. "Captain Janeway, would you care to explain what you're doing half naked in the men's room?"
"Not really, Commodore." Kathryn replied as she tried to keep her chest covered while she pointed to her jacket. "Uh, Commodore, my jacket, if you could move please, Sir?"
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back on the counter more solidly. "I'm not going anywhere, Janeway, until you explain, although I've already heard enough to know what's going on here. Really, an afternoon tryst in the men's room? I thought you would have a little more discretion, Janeway! Who's in there, who was the lucky recipient of your 'services'? Let me guess, your first officer, Chakotay?"
"No, Sir, of course not! It's Bobby Preston, he's a Space Cadet, he…"
"I don't care how much of an airhead he is, you're both in trouble! Wait until the disciplinary committee hears about this, you'll be lucky to be cleaning the bathrooms at Starfleet when they get done with you. This is shocking and disgusting, Janeway, and I never thought you of all people would engage in conduct unbecoming an officer! You're a disgrace to the uniform, well, what little of it you still have on!"
"No, Commodore, it's nothing like that! Please, my jacket?" He seemed oblivious to her request, so she had no choice but to stand there and go on as she tried to cover herself. "Sir, I know how this looks, but it's not what you think! I was in the auditorium with a bunch of Space Cadets, you know, little kids, like scouts, and one of them had an accident and wet his pants and so I brought him in here to dry them, but he flushed his underpants down the toilet and it clogged up and flooded the bathroom and then I got my jacket wet stopping the toilet from overflowing and then the knob came off the door, well, he took it off and dropped it, so I had to crawl over to get out and, oh my, these two Ferengi tourists came in and thought I was Captain Janeway even though I, of course, said I wasn't, and they took my picture anyhow and I dried the kid's pants and gave them back and took off my jacket to dry the sleeves, because they got wet in the toilet flood, and then…"
The admiral waved his hand to silence her and rubbed at an obvious headache. "You expect me to believe that? Janeway, that's the worst crock of crap story I think I have ever heard!"
"It's the truth, Sir!" Bobby shouted as he came out of the toilet stall. "I'm Bobby Preston, Space Cadet second class, and it happened just the way Captain Janeway said."
"It did? So, where's your jacket, Janeway?"
She pointed, "You're leaning on it, Sir."
Now the commodore was flustered. "Oh, so I see. You should have told me instead of standing there half naked and babbling, Janeway."
"I tried, Sir," she said as she grabbed the jacket and hurried into a stall to put it on. When she came out she grabbed Bobby's hand and smiled politely as they passed the commodore on the way out. "Good afternoon, Commodore Sandoval."
When they were well down the corridor Bobby said, "That was fun, now I have a good story to tell everyone when I get home."
Kathryn stopped and knelt. "Oh no, I don't think that would be such a good idea, Bobby, they would never believe you. Maybe it can just be our secret?"
"Naw, they'll believe me, it's happened before. Well, 'cept for the part with the commodore."
Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Really, it's happened before?"
"Yup, four times now! It's not a good idea to flush underpants down the toilet, I guess, even if it is fun. Have you ever flushed underpants down the toilet, Captain Janeway?"
She started walking towards the auditorium again with Bobby in tow. "No, can't say that I have." When they returned to the auditorium she seated the child and gladly noticed that the group's leader was now sitting with them. As she took her seat again on the stage Chakotay finished answering whatever question had been asked and she gave him an exasperated expression as she sat.
Chakotay leaned over, touched her on the arm and quietly said, "You were gone an awfully long time, I was getting worried. Was everything alright and why are your sleeves wet?"
"Oh gods, what I just went through was worse than anything that I went through in the Delta Quadrant. I'll tell you later, can we please wrap this up and get out of here?"
The group leader, Mrs. Gupta, stood. "Alright, Cadets, let's each stand and thank Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay and I want each of you to tell them what was the most interesting thing you saw here today and then we'll have a group picture taken and it's time to go home."
The children moaned and groaned as they'd had so much fun none of them wanted to leave. Each of them stood and said thank you as Kathryn and Chakotay listened attentively. The last child was Bobby and Kathryn held her breath as he spoke. "Thank you very much, I had a real fun time and I want to be in Starfleet when I grow up."
"Bobby, what was the most interesting thing you saw today?" Mrs. Gupta prompted.
"Oh yeah, I guess it was seeing the shuttlecraft, that was really cool!" Kathryn finally let out her breath and heaved a sigh of relief. "And Captain Janeway's boobies!" he added with a big smile as all the children snickered. Kathryn buried her face in her hands as Mrs. Gupta smiled apologetically and shrugged her shoulders.
As Mrs. Gupta herded the children on stage and lined them up for the picture, Chakotay asked Kathryn, "What the devil is he talking about? He didn't really see your boo…., um, things, did he?"
"Yes," she replied, her face still buried in her hands.
"Kathryn! You're kidding right? Geez, I haven't even seen them!" he whispered as he tried to get her up as the group was now ready for the picture. "What on earth did you do, flash the kid?"
"Of course not! It's a long story, he and the commodore didn't see everything, I was wearing a bra, for heaven sakes."
"Bra? Commodore? You flashed a commodore? Which one?"
"Sandoval, and I didn't flash him. Like I said, it's a long story."
He put his hand on Kathryn's back to move her towards the children. "Well, I can't wait to hear it!"
When they were finally finished and said goodbye to the Space Cadets, Kathryn and Chakotay went back to their quarters, changed into civilian clothes, met in the lobby, took a taxi to Chez Thierry and had dinner as Kathryn related her story to a rather incredulous Chakotay. He leaned back in his chair and sipped his wine as he asked, "Kathryn, is that really what happened?"
"I swear, every word is true, and I can tell you I have never been so embarrassed in my life! My worst fear is that kid is at home telling that same story at the dinner table right now and I don't even want to think what Commodore Sandoval is telling his family!"
"That old coot? Gee, Kathryn, I bet you were the best thing he's seen in years!"
"I doubt it," she said as Chakotay poured her more wine. "Well, if I learned one thing today, it was that I will wear regulation underwear and an undershirt under my dress uniform from now on." She took a sip of wine and smiled at Chakotay as she noticed he was staring at her. "What are you looking at?"
"You," he replied as he slid his hand across the table and placed it on top of hers. "You look so beautiful tonight, Kathryn, and I'm so glad I'm the man that's lucky enough to share dinner with you tonight."
She picked up her wine glass again and swirled the wine before she took another sip. "No, it's me that's lucky, lucky that Starfleet sent me out with Voyager, because, if they hadn't, I never would have met you, Chakotay." She gave his hand a squeeze. "This has been an awful day, but, right now, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world."
They had dessert and talked for almost another hour before they took a taxi back to the officer's quarters at Starfleet. In the taxi, Kathryn succumbed to the long day as she fell asleep against Chakotay, her head gently nestled against his shoulder. He looked down at her and smiled for he knew he was the luckiest man in the world.
"Kathryn, we're home," he said as he gently awakened her and helped her from the taxi. "May I escort you to your door?"
"Yes, thank you," she replied as she shook the sleep from her head and took his arm. "I'm sorry I fell asleep. Chakotay, I had a wonderful time this evening, thank you very much. It was a wonderful dinner and I hope that we can go out together again."
"I'd really like that, Kathryn, I had a great time too. Well, are you going to go back to Indiana now that you're finally on leave?"
"Yes," she replied as she slid her arm around his waist as they walked, "I think I'd like to spend some time with my family and just relax and take it easy for a while. I'm tired, really tired, from the last seven years and then all the debriefings, press conferences and all that stuff and I just want to relax, put my feet up and figure out how to be just plain Katie Janeway again. The only problem I see is that I don't think I could be me without you."
"Well then, I don't think that there's a problem, as I couldn't be me without you either, Katie Janeway. Here we are, this is your door," he said as he took her hands. "Kathryn, this doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be, but I would like to kiss you goodnight, may I?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way," she said as she put her arms around his shoulders and poised her lips only centimeters from his. "In fact, I think I'd like to take you home with me to meet my family and stay in Indiana for a while, do you think you'd like that?"
Chakotay slipped his arms around her waist and smiled at her again as their bodies molded together perfectly. "Yes, I'd like that, but not as much as this," he said as he kissed her.
THE END
