DISCLAIMER: I will contact Tite Kubo about gaining copyrights for Bleach. Until then, however, I don't even own a Hollow.
Author's Note: I was recently hit by a cartload of ideas, largely featuring my favourite taichō, otherwise known as Hitsugaya Tōshirō. Since none of them are large enough to be a stand-alone fic, I decided to put them all here. Ideas will range across several genres, the most being humour. Matsumoto (and, probably, Hyōrinmaru) wil also appear quite frequently. So hope you enjoy this, and I will stop talking now.
On with the story.
Tōshirō walked into his division headquarters, plagued by a distinct sense of unease.
He told himself, firmly, that the feeling was unfounded – only to retract that statement, a mere minute later, when he walked into his office.
It was only due to his quick reflexes that he was able to freeze the stream of water falling from a bucket above the door. It was clearly meant to drench him as he entered the room.
Tōshirō was contemplating the glittering cascade of ice, which still hung in mid air, suspended by the part of it that was in the bucket, when he heard a groan behind him.
He turned around just in time to see his fukutaichō wake up from where she had been sleeping – on the couch – and yawning loudly. She looked surprised when she saw him standing beneath the frozen bucket of water.
Was it his imagination, or did her expression also contain some disappointment?
The cogs in Tōshirō's mind began to whirr, putting the pieces of the puzzle together. He wasn't known as a genius for nothing, after all.
"Taichō!" Matsumoto exclaimed.
Okay, he thought, I definitely didn't imagine the disappointment just now. He scrutinized her. Something was off, he knew.
"Matsumoto, why are you here so early today?" And without a hangover, Tōshirō added silently.
She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Er… well, I decided to make a fresh start today, so I came to work earlier! Yes, that's it!"
Her voice was too cheery. Not even a drunk Matsumoto sounded like that.
"Matsumoto." The taichō held back a sigh. "You look like you've been sleeping on that couch all night."
"No, of course not! Why would I do that – ah, fine, I slept here last night." She wilted under Tōshirō's stare. "But that was only because I wanted to be the first to wish you a happy April Fool's Day!"
He had barely opened his mouth to ask what that was when she began to move out of the room.
"I'll go back and change, taichō. Be back in an hour!"
And with that, his fukutaichō disappeared.
April Fool's Day.
Tōshirō really sighed this time.
For things like this, I presume there is only one person to ask.
Although I suspect he it is the one and the same person who told Matsumoto about this in the first place.
Ichigo was on his way to Karakura High when a shadow suddenly appeared beside him.
"Tōshirō!"
The person beside him growled.
"It's Hitsugaya-taichō!"
Both locked stares for a brief moment before Tōshirō asked his question.
"So, Kurosaki, I have a question for you. What is April Fool's Day?"
The shorter of the two hid a near-evil grin as the orange-haired teenager beside him almost tripped over in surprise.
"Oh crap," he muttered.
Tōshirō continued to stare, unblinkingly, at Ichigo.
This time, it was his turn to sigh. "What did Matsumoto do this time?"
"A bucket of water above the door. I managed to freeze it on time, though." He treated the substitute shinigami to an icy glare as his suspicions were confirmed. "So you did tell her about it."
"Well… I didn't mean to," he replied. Then he took in Tōshirō's expression of supreme annoyance. "I shouldn't have told her, should I?"
The taichō didn't even want to answer that question, for fear of accidentally killing his only source of information – other than Matsumoto herself, of course. Unfortunately, although Tōshirō trusted Matsumoto to do many things well, there were two things he found her completely unreliable for: running the division, and giving information.
He mentally cursed both of them. Kurosaki, he thought, you are so going to pay for this.
When he spoke, his tone sounded light, but possessed a certain edge to it that promised a world of pain to those involved.
"You haven't answered my question, Kurosaki." Tōshirō paused for maximum effect, making sure to enunciate each word clearly.
"What. Is. April. Fool's. Day?"
Ichigo gulped.
Precisely fifty-five minutes later, Tōshirō was back in his office, starting on the paperwork for the day.
He felt Matsumoto's reiatsu near the office door six minutes later.
And in three… he counted the seconds… two… from her step, he guessed that she was just slightly hungover... one.
The door flew open.
"I'm back, tai–"
SPLASH!
Tōshirō marvelled, for a brief and satisfying moment, at his fukutaichō's remarkable resemblance to a wet dog in this state.
He spoke just as Matsumoto began to splutter.
"I decided to reciprocate the favour," Tōshirō emphasized the word, continuing to read the report that he was holding. "April Fool's Day is a happy day, isn't it, Matsumoto?"
"What – what do you mean, taichō?" She put on the most hurt and pitiful face that he had seen so far. "How can you assume that I put the bucket of water there just now?"
Tōshirō sighed. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Especially today.
"That is for you to wonder, and for me to know." The taichō pointed towards the neat stack of paperwork next to him.
The temperature seemed to drop at least ten degrees as Matsumoto went to pick it up. Or maybe it was the cold wind that had started in the room.
She shivered. "I'm cold, taichō."
He looked up at her briefly before going back to his work.
"I don't agree. Besides, it will keep you awake." Tōshirō suppressed another mischevious smile. Revenge was fun. "Get to work already."
Matsumoto grumbled to herself, but reluctantly grabbed the first piece of paper off the pile.
Somewhere at the back of his mind, Tōshirō could hear the chuckle that he recognized to be Hyōrinmaru's. He agreed heartily with the zanpakutō.
Happy April Fool's Day indeed.
END
2nd Author's Note: Hope you liked it. :) I just realised that this is the first time I've written Hitsugaya as the main character. I should write about him more often, he's fun to write.
3rd (and last) Author's Note: And please, REVIEW! Thanks! Virtual cookies (and replies) await!