Of Arguments and Ninjas
Disclaimer: Glee=awesome, but not mine
A/N: Finn lashing out at Blaine at the end of VPP certainly raised some eyebrows, mine included. So I decided to do something about it and here's what I came up with. Those who know my 'Odds And Ends' know it's filled with lots of angsty fluff or fluffy angst:) You've been warned!
I'd like to thank MissMarauder93 and SharpintheFang for their prompts. You rock, guys!
Also, I'd like to dedicate this piece to fellow writer living in a fantasy – I truly hope you'll find your way back:)
* Begins shortly after PPP, watch out for spoilers.
Finn stomped up the path leading up to the house and pushed his way inside, his backpack flying behind him as he closed the door. His mood had been growing more and more sour the last couple of days and today was the tipping point. His insecurities and fears about the future were gnawing at him like angry…well, some really angry things. Kurt would have a fancy name for it for sure. Right, Kurt. One of the main reasons of his foul mood. Well, he and-
"Blaine?" he uttered bewildered, seeing the other boy comfortably seated on their couch in the living room.
"Oh, hi, Finn," the shorter teen got up and smiled that beaming toothy smile of his. Finn was in no mood for this much teeth. Especially on Blaine.
"What- what are you doing here, dude? Do you now live with Kurt, too?" he asked. Seriously, it's like the guy was everywhere. School, Glee, his home. He felt the same rage that got to him in Glee earlier starting to burn deep in his chest again.
Blaine's eyebrows drew together, his visage puzzled. Obviously, he didn't know what to make of Finn's hostility. Not that Finn did either, for that matter. It was just there and he couldn't help himself from acting on it.
"Um, no. I just came over cause Kurt wanted to talk his campaign strategy over with me," he explained warily.
"Of course he did," Finn replied, his voice laced with bitterness. "I'm surprised he doesn't go to the boy's room with you these days," he snapped.
Blaine smiled at him. "I guess we are kinda…intense. I'm sorry if it's getting on your nerves-"
Finn stared at him. Who was this guy? Some kind of a Cheesus or saint? Why wouldn't he just take the bait and give him a piece of his mind? Finn knew Blaine could if he wanted to. And he really wanted to hit something right now. But Blaine was still talking and the quarterback forced himself to focus on what he was saying.
"-you know Kurt. He never does anything half-way," the shorter teen was saying. "And we're each other's first boyfriends. Don't you remember what's it like to be in love for the first time?"
"That's not the first time Kurt's in love," came tumbling out of Finn's mouth before he could think. Kurt was going to kill him but at least he managed to penetrate Blaine's cool veneer. He saw his eyes widen for a moment in surprise before he formed his expression back into a calm mask.
"It doesn't matter," he said, his lips a thin line and his eyes never leaving Finn's.
The taller boy threw his hands in the air. "Dude! I push you, I snap at you and you still stay so cool! How do you do it? It's like you're some zen master or something! Only gayer."
Blaine smiled ruefully. "I guess it comes with certain…past experiences," he said with an absent look on his face. After a while he raised his head and looked Finn in the eye. "And I like you, Finn. You're a good person and Kurt…he adores you. So, I don't know what's going on with you but I'm willing to cut you some slack."
"But I'm not," came from the side and both boys turned around to see Kurt standing in the doorway with two glasses, his face white and his eyes flashing.
"How…much did you hear?" Blaine asked.
"Enough," Kurt replied curtly, putting the glasses away and going further into the room with an air of barely constrained fury. He stared his stepbrother down. "Blaine has done nothing to warrant such behavior from you, Finn."
"Kurt-" the black-haired boy tried.
"No, Blaine," the countertenor hissed, his eyes not leaving Finn, who was starting to squirm. "I'm sorry if you feel threatened by Blaine-"
"I…I'm not threatened!"
"Maybe you should be," Kurt retorted, anger coloring his voice. "It would serve you right because you're not the brightest star out there, you know," he continued, his eyes narrowing.
"Look who's talking!"
Kurt ignored him and went on, "Instead of taking out your insecurities on Blaine who never even looked at you the wrong way, why don't you start working on yourself? You idled away all summer and you have no idea what to do with yourself. Do you really think you can go to college on a football scholarship? You've got to be kidding."
"Hey, I can get into college just fine!"
"Yeah, clown college."
"Oh, that's a good one, Kurt."
"Please, the only hope you have of getting out of Lima is Glee club," he said viciously. "And what if that fails? You've got nothing. You're nothing."
Finn took a surprised breath but he pushed the hurt away and returned Kurt's flaming gaze. "Yeah? And what about you?"
"What about me?"
"You stand there acting all superior but everyone knows you're just as scared so you hide behind your stupid clothes and your prissy attitude."
"Superior? Prissy?" Kurt scoffed. "Look at you, using multi-syllable words. I'm so proud of you," he drawled.
A hurt look flashed behind Finn's eyes and Kurt felt instantly bad. He knew full well how Finn felt about everyone thinking and calling him stupid. He put up this front like he didn't care but Kurt knew the truth. And in his moment of rage, he'd pushed exactly that button, the one he knew would hurt the most.
He steeled himself for the lash-out he was about to receive in return but nothing happened. Finn put his hands in his pockets and looked at the floor.
"You're right," he said slowly. "I'm just hopeless, aren't I?"
And with that, he went upstairs, his walk slow and labored like he'd just gained thirty years.
The silence he left behind rang heavily in Kurt's ears, and he clenched his hand tightly around the back of the armchair standing nearby. There was such finality and defeat in Finn's voice. He bit his lower lip. God, he never meant for this to go this far.
"Kurt?" Blaine's voice cut through his stupor.
Kurt crossed him arms. "I…I'm sorry you had to see that."
"I'm sorry for causing it."
"You? Causing it?" the countertenor uttered with disbelief. "Blaine, Finn's been snapping at you the whole week and now he flat out attacked you in your face!"
"He must have had his reasons."
Kurt goggled at him. "I can't believe it. You're actually defending him!"
Blaine shook his head. "I'm not trying to be a martyr or a saint here, Kurt…it's just Finn and I have gotten along really well, and I consider us friends. And now all of a sudden he lashes out at me for no reason – don't you think it's a bit strange?"
"It's Finn. He hardly goes by rules of reason or logics, Blaine."
"That may be so but I think there's more to this than meets the eye."
"Yeah. Finn's huge dumbassness."
Blaine chuckled. "There is no such word. I think Finn's brushing off on you," he teased, coming closer and putting a hand on his boyfriend's forearm. He could see one corner of his lips go slightly upwards but his expression remained set.
"I won't let him offend you for no reason," he stated.
"Hey," Blaine said, tipping Kurt's chin up and locking their gazes. "Although I find your protectiveness incredibly sweet, this isn't about me. It's about Finn. There's something going on with him and it's not good. And it's your job to help him, not make it worse."
They eyed each other for a while in silence before Kurt averted his gaze.
"I hate it when you're rational," Kurt sighed. "And right."
Blaine smiled. "Someone has to be with you two hot heads."
Kurt pouted. "I am not-"
The shorter teen raised a knowing eyebrow at him and Kurt shut his mouth, choosing to roll his eyes instead.
"I think you should talk to him," Blaine continued in a soft voice. "You're the only one he trusts enough to say what's really going on."
"I doubt he'll talk to me at all."
"You may be surprised."
"Are you clairvoyant, too?"
"Maybe."
Kurt narrowed his eyes. "You know that thing people say about being mysterious making romance better?"
"Yeah. What about it?"
"Well, people are stupid."
Blaine chuckled and pecked him on the lips. "I'm glad you're in your pithy mode but try to tone it down a little when you go talk to Finn, ok? Speaking of which, I'd better be going now and leave you to it."
A crushing noise came from upstairs and both boys glanced up on instinct.
"God knows what he's doing up there. He seemed really out of it," Blaine said with worry.
"His room already looks like a war zone so I'm not worried," Kurt said with an aloof shrug.
"Of course you are. And maybe you should let it show for a change," the black-haired teen said with a meaningful quirk of his eyebrows. "It won't make you weaker, Kurt."
The countertenor sighed. "You're not going to let it go, are you?"
"He's your brother, Kurt," Blaine replied flatly. "You love him. And this is the moment you can show it to him."
Kurt groaned. "I think you're the most annoying boyfriend in the history of boyfriends," he said. Then he wrapped his arms around the shorter boy's neck and brought their faces within inches of each other. "And also the best," he murmured against Blaine's lips before crushing them in a heated kiss.
It took Blaine considerably more time than he'd expected to actually go out of the Hudmel house after that (not that he didn't like it; and if he had any doubts, there was a certain tightness in his pants to remind him just how much he did). Crossing the threshold, he turned around one last time.
"I'll call you later to check up on you," he said. "Just promise me I won't find you two chasing each other around with power tools."
A grin tugged at Kurt's flushed lips. "Hey, it's a Hummel tradition!"
Blaine shook his head with a sigh and went to his car.
XxXxXxX
Finn grunted as he performed a particularly tricky jump and landed on a narrow ledge, escaping the zombies chasing him by a hair…only to be clubbed down by another one who had been hiding under the ledge.
He growled angrily and flung the controller at the door. That was exactly when it swung open and the controller hit Kurt straight over the head. The smaller boy squawked in an undignified manner, more out of surprise than pain.
Finn's eyes widened and he jumped off the bed, getting to Kurt in a flash.
"Are you ok?" he asked with concern.
"A little dazed but I'll be fine," the countertenor said somewhat breathlessly, using the doorframe to prop himself against.
"I'm sorry, man!" Finn said remorsefully. "But how did you get there out of nowhere like that? That was kinda freaky, dude."
"I knocked. Twice. If you hadn't been so busy with your slaughtering, you might have heard me!" Kurt exclaimed, massaging the top of his head, which seemed to have gotten the brunt of the hit.
"It wasn't this loud! You were totally using your sneaky ninja skills, dude!"
Kurt glared. "I'm not dazed enough so that I can't act on my threat to castrate you with my nail file if you call me dude one more time, Finn Hudson."
Finn moved a step back. "Ok, du- Kurt. Do you need to sit down or something?"
"Yes, I think sitting down would be a good idea," the smaller boy agreed and let Finn lead him to his bed.
He sat him down and looked at him uneasily. "I have no idea how that happened, man. I was angry and-"
"You seem to be angry a lot lately, Finn," Kurt remarked, measuring him with that intense, caring stare that always made him talk.
He averted his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets. He heard Kurt let out a soft sigh.
"You can sit down, you know," the countertenor said wryly after a while. "I won't bite your head off, I promise."
After a moment's hesitation the quarterback settled down next to him gingerly. He refused to look at him, though, choosing to drop his head in wait for the rebuke he was surely in for for his earlier behavior. He began wringing his hands nervously and became so intent on it that he didn't even notice Kurt shift and put a cool, steadying hand over his fidgeting ones.
His head shot up and he finally dared to look into his brother's eyes.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Kurt said steadily, giving Finn's hands a squeeze.
"Nah, man, I was out of line. It's cool."
"That you were," the countertenor agreed. "But I lost my temper and said some really hurtful things to you. Things I hope you know I don't mean," he finished, his eyes very blue and very bright.
Finn smiled. "Don't give me that big-eyed Kurt look!" he objected wryly, nudging the other teen in the side. He never could stay angry with Kurt for long and when he had that look on his face, he was practically helpless.
Kurt straightened up. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"It's even more deadly than your ninja skills, you know."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I have no idea what it is with you and your fixation on me being a ninja."
"You're like, totally sneaky and stuff, man! I can't even remember how many times you snuck up on me!"
"Well, that isn't exactly difficult for anyone who's not an elephant-"
"And I so saw you with those swordy things yesterday!"
"Oh, you mean the sais? It's for my audition for West Side Story next week."
"You're going to throw ninja swords at Mr. Schue?"
"Not if he chooses me," Kurt replied with a peevish smile.
Finn chuckled. Then he sobered and looked at his brother. "I know you didn't mean what you said. But I think I deserved it," he said.
"No, you didn't. Never from me," Kurt said self-deprecatingly. "I'm supposed to be supportive and help you, not make you feel worse."
"Hey, it goes both ways. I haven't been exactly supportive when it comes to Blaine, either."
They looked at each other, a silent thread of understanding forming between them.
"So…we're cool?" Finn asked. "You're not mad at me any more?"
Kurt let out a chuckle. "Oh, I'm mad at you all right. And I very-bloody-much want to stay mad at you. But I can't," he added with a sigh. "Not when there's something so obviously wrong with you."
Finn shifted uncomfortably. "There's nothing wrong with me."
"Once again, only with less feeling," Kurt scoffed. "You don't just lash out at people for no reason, Finn. What is it?"
"It's nothing," Finn said averting his eyes.
The countertenor folded his arms over his chest. "I bet that's what the captain of the Titanic said, too."
Finn shot him a dark glance. "I really don't wanna talk about it."
"But I think you need to, Finn," Kurt persuaded.
The other teen looked unconvinced. Kurt narrowed his eyes at him.
"You hit me over the head and almost maimed me," he pointed out. "You owe me. So you'd better give me some honesty here, Hudson, and you better give it now."
Finn sighed. This would be hard but if there was one person he knew he could speak to more or less freely without being looked down on, it was Kurt.
"It's just…I've been watching you and Rachel all summer," he began uneasily, "-you're both going places and doing things…and what am I doing? I'm a grease monkey at Burt's shop and a mediocre quarterback and-"
"Now, Finn, that's not-" Kurt objected. How could Finn think like that? He was special and talented, strong and loyal, how could he not see that?
"Let me finish, Kurt," the taller boy said in a steady tone. "It's not that I don't like my life or something, I do, it's just…I have no idea what I wanna do or who I wanna be when I grow up and the time's running out…it's scary, Kurt," he admitted and looked his brother in the eye.
Kurt felt his heart clench at the genuine fear and anguish he saw in Finn's eyes.
"Glee and…you are the only steady things in my life," he confessed. No, Rachel was many things in his life but she was not steady. At least hadn't been until now. "And now Blaine comes in on his white horse and takes it all away."
Kurt put a hand on his shoulder. "Oh, sweetie, no one's taking Glee or me from you!"
"It's kinda hard to believe that," Finn replied bitterly. "You're with him all the time. You spent all summer driving back and forth to him and now he's here and it's like you're connected at the hip or something!"
Kurt's eyes widened.
"And you'll think I'm jealous or something, and maybe I am, but I really miss you. We live together and it's like I see you less than when we weren't," he said soulfully. "You…you just get me, man. You never talk down or ridicule me. Well, unless you're really pissed, anyway, and I can understand that," he added with a small smile. "I mean, I may be a goofy jock but I know a true friend when I see one, Kurt," he confessed looking him in the eye.
"Finn." Kurt gasped. He really had no idea Finn felt that strongly about him. He was sure the other boy would be happy to finally have him out of his hair. But Finn wasn't finished yet.
"And as if taking you away wasn't enough, now he's taking away Glee from me, too!" he burst angrily. Then he calmed down and his tone became resigned, "Cause let's face it, he's a much better performer than me. He'll have everyone wrapped around his finger by mid-term."
Kurt was speechless. And Kurt didn't get speechless. Ever. It just didn't happen. But sure enough, there he was now, not being able to utter a single syllable. Did Finn really feel like that? How could he have not noticed before?
"Finn, Blaine isn't here to take your place. No one could ever do that," he said softly, putting a consoling hand on the other teen's shoulder. "And you know why? Because you, Finn Hudson, are one of a kind."
Finn looked at him doubtfully. "You honestly think that?"
"I do. I really do," Kurt confirmed. "You're talented, Finn. You could get into NYADA if you wanted. And you're loyal, strong and you think with your heart. I envy you that. You're a born leader, Finn. And I'll help you see that again. We're going to figure this out, ok? I'll choose you over Blaine this time, I promise."
Finn balked at that. "Dude, I would never put you in such a position! You love him, that wouldn't be fair!"
Kurt smiled. "Well, I love you, too, Finn Hudson."
Finn blinked. He knew that, he did, and he felt the same way about his stepbrother, but to hear Kurt say the actual words, the private person that he was, always took him off guard.
"Even if I'm a Lima loser?" he asked after a while, a self-deprecating smile tugging at his lips.
"You're totally not but yes, even then," Kurt said with a shake of his head. "Besides, there's nothing so bad with being one and staying here anyway. Look at my dad. He's a great guy and he's happy here. And I have to admit, you do rock the greasy mechanic look."
Finn chuckled. "You're the best," he stated with a grin. "I love you, too, man," he added, ruffling the other boy's hair affectionately. Kurt yelped but Finn didn't heed it and swung an arm around his waist, pulling Kurt down beside him.
"How many times have I told you that if you mess with my hair, limbs will be cut off!"
"One too few," Finn retorted teasingly.
Kurt shot him a scandalized look ruined by the glimmer of amusement in his eyes.
"You are impossible," he scoffed dramatically but settled more comfortably against him.
"Less talking. More cuddling," Finn remarked, then frowned. "In a totally non-gay way, of course."
"Non-gay. Of course," Kurt laughed, kissing the other boy's cheek teasingly.
Finn jumped a little in surprise, but he was grinning. "Yeah, because that didn't feel gay at all."
And you've reached the end:) Sorry it was slower in the making than promised but I wanted to get it right – you tell me if I did! Reviews are rainbows and unicorns;D