Author's Note: First of all, this is my first fic, so please be relatively nice when reviewing (yes, please review). This chapter isn't so good, but I've written a few more chapters in advance and chapters five and six are by far my favourites. The writing improves in the next few chapters (I hope), and I have tried to make the story as funny as possible. Please don't stop reading if you hate this chapter, because they get quite a lot better. I do need ideas for pranks, insults, and wise cracks. Oh, and I apologize for the 'over-the-top' use of commas in my story, and the little brackets are usually just my snidey comments, so feel free to ignore them. Please read and review.
Fifth Year: Mischief Managed
By katdance666
Chapter one - School Days
It was a cold, miserable day and Lily Evans stood talking to her friends just inside the barrier for platform 9 ¾. Lily was a fifth year student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She had long red hair, bottle-green eyes, and a gorgeous smile.
The topic soon turned to boys as the girls spotted a group of them walking towards the train doors.
"James Potters' looking at you again Lils!" Lydia Shaw pointed out absent-mindedly.
"Yeah, grreeeaaatt…." Lily said, rolling her eyes; James Potter was not her favourite person. "Now, let's get a move on or we'll miss the train."
"Fine! But how can you act like that, Lils? He's dreamy!" Lydia pressed.
"You got that right!" Enid Allows agreed as they boarded the train. "Lils, you're crazy!"
"He's nothing but an arrogant show-off." Lily dismissed the subject.
As the girls boarded the train, the four boys they had spotted, started down the train corridor. Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter were walking into their favourite compartment, while still discussing James' non-existent chances of getting a date with Lily, and putting their luggage up on the racks... But there was already someone in there.
Severus Snape and James Potter eyed each other suspiciously.
"What are you doing here?" James snarled.
"Get out of here Snivelpus, this is our compartment, not chemistry club", Sirius sneered, never passing up an opportune moment, such as this, to make fun of their rival.
Not taking his eyes off James, Snape replied, "Correct me, if I am mistaken, Black, but am I right in thinking that I was here first, my luggage is up on the shelf, and I am still here?" Then, provoking his contenders, he moved the seat (with his wand – duh) right out from under Sirius, who had just sat down, meaning he landed hard on the floor.
"One, so what, two, not anymore, it isn't," James started to yank Snape's trunk off the shelf, and Sirius got up to help pull it all the way out, onto the carpet. "And three, guess again!" With that, Sirius dragged Snape's trunk into the corridor and dropped it on the hard wood floor.
James pulled out his wand and, before Snape had a chance to reach for his own wand, James had him up in the air with a "mobilius" charm.
People were starting to stare from their own compartment windows, as Severus Snape floated out of the compartment door and landed in a crumpled heap on top of his trunk. "And stay out!" Sirius put on a girly voice and rubbed his hands together, just like an old fashioned woman might do to a dog. The girls had just reached that part of the corridor. Everyone started to laugh and, even Lily had to stifle a grin. That was soon over, but James had caught the smile flicker across Lily's face, and that inspired him.
"Right then, Snapy-dear, shall I help you into your own compartment?" James turned and winked at Peter, who grinned and chuckled stupidly. This was a mistake because it gave Snape time to recover and grab his wand.
"Carpe Capillium!" Snape muttered, the hatred seeping through his voice like poison. A gasp went up from the crowd as blood seeped through a deep gash in James' robes. Seeing this enraged both James and Sirius who raised their wands simultaneously, obviously planning something terrible. This plan was put on stand-by, however, because three shouts of "expelliarmus!" were heard, and three beams of light zoomed in three different directions, extracting the wands from James, Sirius, and Snapes' hands.
The voices belonged to Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, and Albus Dumbledore.
——————————————————————————————
Dumbledore had never been seen on the Hogwarts Express before, so now, knowing there would be big trouble, the crowd began to disperse, feeling sorry for James and Sirius, and laughing outwardly at Snape. James and his friends were always up to something, but this was the first time Dumbledore himself had stopped them.
Sirius, as always, tried to joke his way around it by saying, "So Professor, who needs the movies, eh," but, 'strangely enough', that didn't work. James, who had known that it wouldn't work, conveyed it to Sirius just a few seconds too late by elbowing him hard in the ribs.
(A/N: Sirius really wouldn't know what movies are, because they don't exist in the wizarding world, but gimme a break).
The awkward silence was broken only by Peter, who had been attempting to retreat guiltily back into their compartment, but had stumbled backwards over his shoelace. It was then that Dumbledore spoke, a disappointed tone farely obvious in his voice,
"Follow me please, ALL of you". He was referring to those that remained; Lily, still holding James' wand along with her own; James, Sirius; Snape, who had got to his feet when Dumbledore deprived him of his wand, Remus, and Peter, who had given up on his efforts of trying to get away unseen.
Dumbledore lead them to the front of the train and opened the door to, what looked like a breakfast/tea room. The first glance any of them got was of yellow, flowery wall paper, and a small, glass coffee table with a steaming mug on it. Dumbledore started shepherding them all inside and, before he closed the door; he waved his wand sharply at the table. The table wiggled slightly and, before their eyes, it transfigured from a glass coffee table, into a long, wooden, business table, the steaming mug still in place, surrounded by cushioned chairs.
"Mr. Lupin, Miss. Evans… If you could please return Mr. Potter and Mr. Blacks' wands to them. The rest of you, sit," Dumbledore commanded grimly as he passed Snape's wand back to him, "Thankyou, sit." Dumbledore ordered as Lily and Remus returned the wands, not meeting anyone's eyes, "Now, this is quite a disappointment. Can any of you explain what happened to me, or give a significant reason for that disgusting display of hostility!" Dumbledore had not been expecting a response, and received none anyway.
The only sound, was that of six chairs scraping the floor as six fifteen-year-olds, sat down. After a short discussion, Dumbledore dismissed Lily, Remus, and Peter, and told them to go back to their own compartments.
Just after this, he resumed his pacing around the room and started to speak, "I thought about your punishments, and yes, you will be punished Mr. Black," Dumbledore caught Sirius swapping unbelieving looks with James. "You were fighting, and that is impermissible behaviour for Hogwarts students. Anyway, as I was saying, I thought about your punishments and: they will be served separately, Mr. Black will be polishing the trophies, with Mr. Pringle, in the trophy room, without magic; Mr. Snape will be assisting Mr. Salandro, who will be cleaning the Astronomy telescopes, again, without magic; and finally, Mr. Potter, as I do not want to part you from your beloved Quidditch pitch, you will be cutting the grass on the quidditch pitch with a muggle mower. You will all serve your detentions on Saturday, at ten o'clock sharp. Does that sound fair?"
The boys all replied "yes Professor", but half-heartedly.
——————————————————————————————
James and Sirius entered the compartment they had taken from Snape to find Peter sitting on a bench stuffing cauldron cakes down his throat three at a time, and Lupin, with his nose in a book.
"Hey Mooney," Sirius addressed Lupin as he motioned for Peter to slide down the seat, "What was that about, eh? We were just havin' some fun with old Snivelly."
"Yeah," James agreed as Sirius grabbed Lupin's book so that he had to face them, "We thought you were on our side about Snape, at least."
Lupin still didn't speak, so James tried to lighten the mood by casually saying, "You know, I think Evans might consider dating me if it was a choice between me and old Snape." This made everyone grin, reluctantly or not, and, it seemed they had almost forgotten about the previous incident by the time the lady with the lunch trolley came by.
——————————————————————————————
After Dumbledore had dismissed her, Lily had headed down the hall to her own compartment, where two of her friends were waiting anxiously for her story. Lily opened the door and, immediately, she found herself being bombarded with questions like "Are you in trouble?" and "Are they being punished?" Her rendition of events was short and simple; "Dumbledore talked, I gave Potter back his wand, and he dismissed us so he could talk to Black, Potter, and Snape alone."
Though her friends had hoped for more than this, they had no chance to find out more because, as soon as Lily had sat down to catch her breath from answering all the questions, the lunch lady came in to remind her about the prefects meeting at the front of the train. "Could you be a deah, an' tell t'other Griffindor prefect to come now? Dumbledores' waitin'"
"Sure Mrs. Malton, I'll tell him," Lily agreed to inform Lupin about the meeting.
As soon as Mrs. Malton, the train driver's wife, left, Marrella Goldberg stuck her head in through the open door. "Is this seat taken?" she asked jokingly.
When the three other girls heard Marrella's voice, they jumped on her, almost suffocating her with hugs. "Marrella!" Lily, Enid, and Lydia hadn't seen Marrella since the previous year because she was in Ravenclaw House. She was the second to stop by to remind Lily about the prefects meeting as they were both prefects.
Though Lily was pleased to see her friend, she was annoyed with all the reminders she seemed to be getting. "Yeah, yeah! I just have to collect Remus Lupin."
"Well, do you mind if I come with?" Marrella asked. She was quite keen on Remus.
"Come on then," Lily replied, rolling her eyes, "See you in a bit guys," she added to the other two.
——————————————————————————————
James was looking out through his own door, when he saw Lily and Marrella headed his way.
"Either someone forgot their meeting, or Evans just can't stay away from me!" he joked.
"What?" Lupin went to the door to make sure James wasn't imagining it.
"Maybe you should kiss her, Prongs, just to make sure you're not hallucinating." Sirius suggested, amused, as he could see them from his seat.
Lily and Marrella got to the door and, completely ignoring James and Sirius, pointed out the time to Lupin. Remus closed his book, thanked them, said goodbye to his friends, and left. James called after Lily, "Oi Evans! I'm free this Sunday." As Lily kept right on walking, James added, somewhat pathetically, "Let me know!"
"Making a completely uneducated guess here, but I'm betting that's a no mate." Sirius teased.
——————————————————————————————
Lily sat with Enid and Lydia at the, nearly empty Griffindor House Table in the Great Hall (Marrella was sitting at the Ravenclaw Table). They had managed to grab one of the first horseless carriages up to the castle, and therefore, beat the crowds.
The girls sat, stomachs rumbling, watching the masses of students pour in through the huge wooden doors, and were soon after joined by another Griffindor fifth year friend; Christine Carpollo. As soon as the stragglers had taken their seats, Dumbledore rose.
"Now, the sorting!" he exclaimed as Professors' Flitwick and McGonagoll entered (Flitwick carrying the sorting hat, on the same old three-legged stool and McGonagoll leading a line of shivering first years into the Hall, though whether they were shivering from fright or cold was anyone's guess). Professor McGonagoll worked steadily through the list of first years, starting with Allows, Jessica (Enid's little sister) and carrying on, much to the annoyance of the other hungry students, all the way to Yeng, Andrew, who became a Hufflepuff.
(A/N: Jessica Allows became a Griffindor, like her sister).
At the other end of the table, James and Sirius sat, explaining their plans for the next days' adventures, to Remus and Peter:
"Okay, so I vote we get a good night's sleep tonight so we can be ready for action tomorrow. The Slytherins are going to get a nasty shock tomorrow when they get to dinner," Sirius was suggesting.
"But won't we get in trouble if someone finds out Sirius? I don't like being in trouble." Peter was always slightly nervous about their pranks.
"The key word there was if Wormtail, you wimp, we won't get caught." Sirius was always confident in their plans.
Peter opened his mouth as if to argue some more, but was interrupted by Dumbledore suggesting that everyone go to bed after they sing the school song.
Everyone in the hall started to sing at their own pace, making the school song sound like a bad rendition of 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star'. (A/N: Don't ask how that's possible).
Then benches scraped and the hall filled again with the chattering of well-fed, sleepy students going up to bed.
Lily was just getting up from her bench, listening (or pretending to be) to Lydia and Enid arguing over something, when James caught sight of them. He winked as the Marauders passed the girls (Sirius would have, had he not left the table early to make out with Leigh Vantern, a fifth-year Ravenclaw student, in the broom closet outside the great hall). Lydia and Enid giggled and blushed, while Lily rolled her eyes.
"Come on, he's just showing off! Why do you guys even bother; he dates, like, a different girl every night; stupid prick!"
"But he makes Ashton Lockhart look like Apollyon Pringle," Lydia dissed the janitor and the wizarding world's heart throb in one, "Of course, Sirius is even cuter."
Lily groaned and stormed off to Griffindor tower ahead of her friends. She had just reached the portrait hole (a fat lady in a pink silk dress) when she saw James Potter emerge. She said nothing but started for the portrait hole.
James' eyes lit up when he saw her and he closed the portrait hole behind him. He put his arm across the hole to stop her from entering the tower.
Lily took a deep, calming breath and muttered through clenched teeth, "Excuse me."
"How about a kiss for the birthday boy?" James suggested innocently.
"It isn't your birthday," Lily pointed out, her eyes flashing.
"It will be eventually; I just like my presents in advance."
"Move! Now Potter." Lily clenched her wand in her right hand threateningly.
James grabbed her wand hand, stopping her from moving it and held it saying, "Nice hands Evans; I could use them sometime."
James casually kissed her cheek and then he dropped her hand and disappeared down a staircase hidden behind a tapestry. Lily would have punched him had he only given her the chance. She almost screamed the password at the fat lady, who had been asleep for all of this, and stamped inside.
Lily went up the stairs to the girls' dormitories and threw her robes in a crumpled heap onto the floor. Grabbing a towel from the shelf, she decided that she would take a long, hot shower to calm herself. She left the year-five girls' bedroom and headed for the bathroom.
As she opened the door to the flowered bathroom, Lily unbuttoned her white shirt and stepped inside. She shook out her long red hair and turned on the water.
Author's Note: Did you like it? Hate it…? Well, all you have to do is click the cute little button on the bottom left of the page and review. I will try to answer any questions that you might have, and I promise the writing gets better in the next chapters. Please Read and Review.
-Kat