Disclaimer: Oh if I owned Dean Winchester . . . this fic would never have gotten written.
A/N: This is my first EVER fanfic and I'm very nervous, so feedback would be received and replied to very happily. I'm rather surprised at how dark this has come out, so hopefully there will happier pieces in the future!
BETA NEEDED. (I'm also willing to return the favour) Please contact me through my profile
Like a man possessed
The Heavens seemed to tear themselves apart as Dean Winchester tried to escape himself in the heart of a wild forest, half an hour from the run-down motel where the two most important people in his life were laying in a fitful sleep.
He slammed his fist against the rock.
The rock was a huge, towering formation, standing at the very centre of the woods. In the midst of the storm which raged all around, it appeared like an angry warrior, furious at the whole world as it watched its home get ripped apart.
He slammed his fist against the rock again.
Deal with it.
This is who I am.
Murderer, Outlaw, Nobody, Hunter.
This is who I will always be.
I'm gonna die this way
Deal with it!
Slam.
Rain hurtled towards the Earth in a downpour so dense it looked like a solid shining object, distorting everything through its watery haze . Each droplet stopped its doomed descent for a millisecond to hover in front of Dean's eyes, allowing him to glimpse the creature he was becoming in his haunted reflection.
Slam.
This is my life now.
I'll never be normal like Sammy craves
I've seen things people couldn't even dream of – couldn't even have nightmares of
I'm a hunter.
A killer
Deal with it!
Slam. Slam.
Lightening cleaved a path, and thunder resonated through the sky. Parents closed the curtains and tucked their children into bed with soothing words and gentle caresses. The eldest of the Winchester sons stood alone, in clothes saturated with rain, mud, sweat and blood, all bleeding into each other, leaving trails of his sins across his shredded skin.
Slam.
I'm trapped with myself
Living for other people
Hidden under my mask
Does Dad even realise that I'm broken?
Probably not
Deal with it
Slam. Slam. Slam. Slam. Each punch more frantic than the last as he punctuated each word within his head with a desperate blow against the rock. Slam. Skin broke across bone, and the hits just kept getting harder, and faster. Slam. Slam. The tempest surged unnoticed. Slam. Slam. Burning tears fell down his face, drowned in Mother Nature's own. Slam. Slam. Slam. Slam. His frenzied attack increased to the point that his ferocious power rivalled that of the ancient one which enveloped him, until his body finally betrayed him and he collapsed against the wall of stone in front of him, his body hitting the rock with a sickening thud.
It's not their fault
They have enough to worry about themselves
Dad needs revenge
He'll die to get it
I have to protect them
Protect Sammy
Sammy
He leant gratefully against the pillar of strength in front of him, unmarred by his earlier assault - forever, watching over its kingdom.
God, Sammy
I need to look after him
Need to save him
He pressed his forehead against the smooth stone, forcing raindrops to find new paths around the joining.
Sammy
I can be strong
I can pull the pieces of me back together
I will
For Sammy
With a strength that should have been impossible after his earlier self-destruction, he dragged his sodden and battered body into standing position. As if only now seeing his surroundings, he took in the devastation around him, the broken landscape still dancing in the now receding winds. He gazed upwards through the mist of rain that still remained, watching the immense darkness of the thundercloud in the distance, moving to loom over another town, or person, somewhere.
Daylight was breaking reluctantly over the horizon, and with a deep sigh that reached his soul, Dean began making the arduous journey back to his not-home, working out how he was going to tell Dad that he'd dropped out of high school.