A/N: This is very much inspired by Ino's plan in "Community Service" by Renalin. I totally recommend you read it, and this is dedicated to her! Much love for listening to all my Sasu/Saku demands and Ino's Tournament submission. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: When my spidey senses start tingling and I can climb walls, I'll let you know. And when I own Naruto, I'll let you know as well.

Sasuke and Ino were sitting together at Ichiraku's, not eating, and staring at each other. No, they were not so in love that they couldn't possibly tear their eyes away. They were plotting. How can we break Shikamaru and Sakura up?

Sasuke sighed and didn't try to hide the annoyance from his voice. "Why can't I just Chidori Shikamaru to pieces? Then Sakura couldn't date him."

Ino huffed. "Because, moron, if he's dead, I can't date him either. And there is no way I'm dragging a corpse out on dates. Besides," she pointed out, "If you killed the top strategist in Konoha, you'd have some 'splaining to do. Tsunade would have you at your death bed faster than you can say 'Sharingan'."

They sat in silence for awhile before a light bulb went off over Ino's blonde ponytail. "I know!" She began, "We can make Billboard Brow look so hideous that Shika-kun would never want to be seen with her! He'd come to the most beautiful girl he knew. Me!" Ino giggled over her brilliance.

In response to her suggestion, Sasuke gave her death glare number fourteen out of his thirty-seven different death glares. "Hn. No. You are not making Sakura ugly. And, Ino, maybe Shikamaru doesn't think your the prettiest. Maybe he thinks Ten Ten's prettier."

Sasuke smirked as Ino gasped. "Oh my gosh! Do you really think that Shika-kun thinks that Ten Ten's more beautiful!? Is it my hair? Am I too fat? Is it my thin lips? Because, you know there's always Botox for those kind of things and-"

Sasuke stopped her. "I was kidding. Can't you take a joke?"

Ino's face started twitching and she looked malicious. "That's. Not. Funny."

"Hn."

The blonde girl's face grew red with rage. "HOW DARE YOU, YOU FAG! YOU OBVIOUSLY LIKE FOREHEAD GIRL MORE THAN ME, I ACCEPTED THAT, BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CALL ME UGLY?! SHIKA-KUN WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH ME NOW!" With that, Ino burst into tears.

Sasuke used all his "Have No Emotions" skills to keep down the blush that was threatening to attack his face. "Ino," he hissed, "You do realize you just shouted that to all of Konoha, right?"

Ino sniffled. "What do you care? You're the emo boy with chicken hair, remember?"

Sasuke gave her glare twenty-two. "I do not have chicken hair. Nor am I emo. Got it?" he added in a lower voice, "And of course Shikamaru will go out with you. Who else would put up with that lazy ass?"

Ino brightened. "You mean that, Sasuke?"

"Aa. Yes. Now can we continue planning? I want to marry Sakura and have her popping out those Uchiha babies as fast as possible."

Ino laughed. "Haha. You're a horny bastard, aren't you?"

Sasuke gave her the worst death glare of all at that comment, number thirty-seven. "Ino," he started, trying to calm himself down, "I seem to recall you saying something about 'screwing Shikamaru's brains out as soon as he was yours.' And wasn't there something about getting a whip as well?"

Ino blushed to the roots of her hair. "Let's just get back to planning, Sasuke." She mumbled.

Not far away from everyone's favorite ramen stand, Sakura and Shikamaru were laughing it up. "Did you hear about the whip, Shika?" Sakura asked, giggling.

"I don't remember it quite as well as the thing about popping out Uchiha babies, Sakura."

As the two laughed they couldn't help but agree that plan "Make Ino and Sasuke Jealous" had been a total success.

A/N: I also have to giv props to Melissa, because she got me in the scheming mood after reading the first chapter of The Chronicles of Drabbles. So anyway, tell me what you thought in the form of a review!!