The old man looked at his watch. He got up and folded the newspaper.
As he turned to go...
"Hey! Grandpa! Wait up!"
The teenager dressed in the uniform of Haido High School caught up with the old man.
"Ah, Yoshimune-kun," the old man said. "Why the wait?"
"Uh, sorry," Yoshimune said sheepishly. "On my way here I saw an old friend who I haven't seen in a while, so I stopped to talk."
"I was starting to think you wouldn't show," he said. "But never mind that. Let's go."
He turned his back to the teenager and began walking, whenever...
The teenager pointed a gun to his head.
The old man smiled and took his cap off. "Well done."
Shinichi put away the imitation handgun. "Does this conclude today's lesson?"
"Maybe," Merlot said. "But first, explain your method, step by step."
"As you instructed, I ambushed your person and took the picture, audio recording, and change of clothes from him. Then I went to the hotel room you rented, used the hair dyes, made my hair look like the teenager in the picture, switched into his clothes, and listened to the recording so I could imitate his voice."
"But you did make me wait ten minutes longer than expected," Merlot said.
"Oh, um, I had some difficulty applying the disguise," Shinichi said. "I've never done this before. And I needed a bit of practice to get the voice down pat."
Merlot nodded. "Today was a good start. Of course, if I were actually that man, I'd probably recognise you weren't my grandson by the differences in your facial features. And your mimicry of his voice was a tad off. In time, you'll learn how to apply a diverse array of disguises, transcending body sizes, race, and even gender, and how to make your disguises extremely convincing. I have a question for you: why is mastery of disguises a valuable skill set?"
"Uhh, because with it you can trick people?" Shinichi answered.
"Well, obviously," Merlot said. "But I was hoping for a more complex answer than that. What you need to know is that all people have to deal with two conflicting emotions."
"And those are...?" Shinichi asked.
"First, innate mistrust of other people," Merlot said. "Humans used to live in the wild, like animals do. Precious resources were scarce, males would murder each other to secure females. In short, it was quite dangerous to be around other people. So, we as a species learned to be aware of the danger that other people posed."
"That makes sense."
"Second, the innate desire for companionship," Merlot continued. "While the aforementioned danger is ever-present, humans are also social animals. This can be summed up in an old saying: Everybody needs somebody. Or, if you'd rather, 'No man is an island.' Humans get lonely by themselves, and beyond our psychological needs human beings find it easier to survive when they cooperate with one another. So how do people reconcile these two sentiments?"
"I get the feeling you're about to tell me," Shinichi said.
"They compartmentalise," Merlot said. "That is, they divide most people into Group A, which is those who they cannot trust, and then a minority of people into Group B, which is those who they can trust, or at least who they think they can trust The art of disguise is useful because with it, you can convince a target that you are an individual who they're familiar with, someone who falls into Group B. And then they'll let down their guard around you. They'll expose their necks to you, they'll turn their back to you. And then you can kill them."
"But isn't it better simply to make yourself into a person who they trust?" Shinichi said.
"That can be terribly inefficient at times," Merlot said.
"Then I should clarify," Shinichi said. "The kind of person, I meant, who they trust, somebody who wouldn't do them any harm. Isn't that a better way to live?"
Merlot scoffed. "You're terribly naive, Shinichi Kudo."
"No sir," Shinichi said. "After everything that I've done and witnessed in this past year, naive is the one thing that I'm not. Again, are we through now?"
"Yes," Merlot said. "But I must wonder why you're so eager to leave."
"Because of the time," Shinichi said. "I'd ask that, in the future, you don't schedule these appointments for this time of day, except on Saturdays and Sundays. There's somewhere else I'm normally at this part of the day."
"Okay," Merlot said. "What times of day are you busy?"
Shinichi told him.
Merlot burst out laughing. "What are you, an elementary school student?"
That's exactly what I am, Shinichi thought with a deadpan look. Haibara's covering for me today, but...
"Okay then," Merlot said. "I'll reschedule our meets to work around your schedule, if you insist. Goodbye for today, and I'll contact you again soon enough."
Scene Transition
Conan/Haibara stepped foot in the Professor's house. And Shinichi was waiting.
"If I miss too more days, our teachers will probably start penalising me," she said.
"Sorry," Shinichi said. "I asked Merlot not to hold any more lessons at this time of day, and he agreed to it. So hopefully you shouldn't have to keep doing this."
"You'd better shrink again and head on home, before the Mouris start to wonder where you are," Haibara said, taking her Conan disguise off.
"Will do. But first, you said that you had something for me?"
"Indeed," Haibara said. "I finished my analysis of the blood sample you provided."
Two nights ago, after he had finished in his mission as BO agent Cognac, Conan/Shinichi went home to the Mouri Residency and went to bed. Later, as he was just about to fall asleep, an intruder broke into the house. Eri stabbed the intruder in the shoulder/upper arm with a sharp kitchen knife, and the culprit left behind some droplets of blood as he fled.
"And?" Shinichi pressed.
"The blood sample belonged to a male person," Haibara said. "That's all I could tell from it."
Then it was that person, Shinichi thought.
During the incident, he had witnessed the culprit use a move indicative of the martial arts style known as Jeet Kune Do.
There was only one male person who he knew that used that fighting style. It was...
"Akai-san, I'm guessing?" Haibara said.
Shinichi nodded.
"How sure are you?"
"Well, it makes sense," Shinichi said. "As far as we know, that person only attempted to install hidden cameras, and when confronted by Ran's parents he exercised considerable restraint, only using enough force to get them off of him. That sounds like the kind of person who meant no harm to the Mouri family, and perhaps was there to protect them. If Elena-san was going to assign a guardian to Ran and her family, then Akai-san would be an ideal candidate, would he not?"
"But would Akai-san be that sloppy?" Haibara asked. "I mean, a true professional might've waited until there was no one at home."
"That's true," Shinichi said. "The intruder's behaviour did smack of amateurism. He made a fairly big amount of noise, for one thing, like he was stumbling around in the dark."
"If we're going to be fair about this, Shuichi Akai isn't the only person on Earth to know Jeet Kune Do," Haibara said. "Perhaps my mother sent one of her operatives, some guy we don't know who happens to know Jeet Kune Do?"
"That's certainly possible," Shinichi said. "Anyhow, there's only one way to find out."
"You're going to confront him, I take it?" Haibara guessed.
Shinichi nodded. "I'm going to ask to see his arm. There's no way a stab wound like that could completely heal in this short amount of time. Well, thanks for running the test like I asked."
"No problem," Haibara said.
Shinichi opened the medicine cabinet, took out one of Elena's pills, swallowed it, and ran to the bathroom, where he knew a child-sized change of clothes would be waiting.
Scene Transition
Conan opened the door and stepped foot inside the Mouri Residency.
"Ah, Conan-kun!" Masumi waved with her left arm.
"Sera-no-neechan?" Conan said. "Sonoko-neechan? What's going on?"
"Two words, brat!" Sonoko said haughtily. "Love guru!"
Opening
(Escape by Ling Tosite Sigure)
One day I'll decipher the truth behind this elaborate deception
One day I'll find the shining door that leads to the outside
The hidden eyes of this world which have been watching me for so long
Have no idea that now I stare back, more determined than ever to escape!
(Trying new things is refreshing to the soul! Ran's friends enroll in a class taught by a self-proclaimed expert at love! Who knew that romance could be so complicated? Perceiving the one and only truth! With the body of a child but the mind of an adult...my name is Detective Conan!)
For years now I've tried everything to stifle my long-standing suspicions
My gut feeling that something was fundamentally wrong with the world
I convinced myself I that I was imagining it, laughing nervously as I talked
I played it straight, lived my life, and drank deeply of all this world had to offer
But I can't take it anymore, I don't know who and what is real anymore
I need to clear my head, to splash cold water on my face, but is the water real?
One day I'll make sense of the inconsistencies that pop up around me
One day I'll piece together this incoherent puzzle which is the truth
One day I'll decipher the truth behind this elaborate deception
One day I'll find the shining door that leads to the outside
The hidden eyes of this world which have been watching me for so long
Have no idea that now I stare back, more determined than ever to escape!
The Deadly Love Seminar! Part One!
"Love…what?" Conan said.
"Sonoko-chan signed up for a class taught by Ken Onami!" Masumi said.
"Who?" Conan said.
Sonoko gasped. "You're telling me you haven't heard of Ken Onami, brat?!"
Eri sighed. "You ask any man, and you'll get that same blank look."
"Nancy-chan, you know who Ken is, right?" Sonoko asked.
"Of course!" Nancy said. "Shin…I mean, Conan, you've never heard of the Ken Onami Show?"
"No," Conan said.
"Well, I've never watched it myself, but I've heard of him," Masumi said. "People are invited onto his show and he tells them how to make their crush fall in love with them. Guaranteed."
"And how many actually do?" Conan asked.
"Most of the time, it really happens!" Sonoko said. "So that's why I was excited to learn earlier today that my application to join his upcoming ten-week seminar was accepted!"
"But Sonoko-neechan, you already have a boyfriend, right?" Conan said. "Aren't you still dating Makoto-san?"
"Well, yeah," Sonoko said. "But with this class I'm hoping to deepen our relationship!"
"So, uh, why did you come here?" Conan asked. "And why'd you bring Sera-no-neechan here with you?"
"Ah, that!" Sonoko said. "You see…"
"Sonoko-chan said that she's allowed to bring three friends to take the course with her!" Masumi said.
"Oh? And who have you picked?" Conan asked.
"Well, Sera-chan, of course," Sonoko said. "I was also hoping that Nancy-chan might come along."
"Why would you want to bring a little girl with you?" Kogoro asked, not looking up from the horse racing on TV. "If you ask me, events like this are an opportunity to spend some time away from brats."
Oto-san, Nancy thought with an annoyed look.
"Oh, well, uh," Sonoko stammered, evidently flustered.
"It's okay," Masumi said. "Mouri-san, Nancy-chan here reminds us a lot of your late daughter. Don't you think so?"
Sonoko nodded.
"Yeah, the resemblance is kind of canny, isn't it?" Kogoro said, still glued to the screen. "Well, as long as it doesn't interfere with her schoolwork, I don't care."
"You said you could bring three people," Conan said. "Who's the third?"
"Why, Makoto-san, of course!" Sonoko said.
"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly is Ken-san's approach?" Conan asked.
"Ah, well, if you watched his show, you'd know that his approach involves intensive analysis of your partner/crush to know their preferences," Sonoko said.
"In that case, why does Makoto-san even need that class?" Conan asked. "Remember that heist, when he could tell you from the Kaito Kid disguised as you simply by the difference in your finger lengths?"
"Oh, uh, yeah, I get what you mean," Sonoko said, a bit sheepish now. "But still, that man's clueless when it comes to love!"
Looks like your mind's already set, Conan thought with a deadpan look.
"So when's the first class?" Nancy asked.
"Tomorrow!" Sonoko said. "Nancy-chan, be ready to leave at 5:50. I'll come pick you up."
Scene Transition
The Next Day
Nancy was surfing the internet. "She here yet?"
"Nope," Conan said, looking out the window. "I must ask, what do you need this class for?"
"H-hey!" she protested, blushing. "That's none of your business, is it?"
"If you say so. Ah, there she is."
Nancy got up and headed outside. Conan lied down on his bed and was about to put a VR console on his head when…
Nancy burst back into the room. "Makoto-san couldn't make it. You wanna come?"
Scene Transition
Conan got into the car, sat down, and strapped himself in.
"Alright, Hitoshi, everyone's present and accounted for," Sonoko said.
Jirokichi's butler put the car in Drive and headed for Sonoko's class.
"So why couldn't Makoto-san come?" Conan asked.
"In his own words, 'I found a worthy opponent to fight. I'm currently following him to South America. You probably won't hear from me for the next few days. Sorry I can't make it.' I mean, seriously," Sonoko said. "Does he really think that's more important than this?"
Conan was inwardly laughing.
The car got onto the road where the Kudo Residence was.
"So, tell us about Ken," Masumi said.
"Well, on his shows he's always like..." Sonoko began.
As the house passed by the Kudo residence, Conan caught a good look of Subaru Okiya, holding a glass of Baker's Mark Bourbon Whiskey in his right hand, which he was holding in the air above the armrest, while typing on a laptop with his left.
T-that can't be, Conan thought. I explicitly recall that the intruder was stabbed in the right arm. So why's he acting like both arms are fine?
Masumi burst out laughing. "Did that really happen?"
"It did!" Sonoko said. "And it became a popular internet meme here in Japan afterwards. Ken's a good-natured guy, and he's funny. You'll like him, I think."
Scene Transition
The students were seated. Sonoko, Masumi, Nancy, and Conan were seated in the very back, since all the seats closer to the front were taken.
"Man, this sucks," Sonoko said. "We might've got to sit up front if only you didn't spend so much time getting ready to go, brat."
It only took me like thirty seconds, Conan thought with a deadpan look.
Then, the teacher entered the classroom, and the students cheered wildly. He motioned with his hand so as to indicate "settle down".
"Okay, first off, please don't do that," Ken said. "During these sessions I am not Ken the celebrity. Rather, I'm Ken your teacher, like any high school or college teacher you may've had. Here you will refer to me as Ken-sensei. And no, I will not take autographs or accept your marriage proposals."
Several students jokingly let out an "Aww..."
"The very first thing you must learn in this class is..." Ken said, drawing on the chalkboard, "that there's no such thing as free will. All human actions can in theory be predicted, even if our actions and thought processes are so complex that our current level of technology isn't capable of making such predictions accurately. Under X conditions, a person will perform Y action. Under X conditions, Y person will fall in love with me. I just have to figure out what X is first. That's half of the battle, if you were to think of love in such terms. Now, are there any questions about this class and what you expect to get out of it"
One student raised his hand. "Ken-sensei, is it true that you can make any girl fall in love with you?"
"With some obvious exceptions, yes," Ken said. "In fact, before I became a celebrity across Japan, I would regularly practice. I would find random young women, study them for a few weeks, and then conform my behaviour and appearances so as to be that kind of person who they would fall in love with. Since I attained celebrity-status, I haven't really been able to do this, since now any woman would know what I was trying to do, since they'd probably have seen me on TV. If I tried it on some girl today, she would probably recognise that my behaviour wasn't entirely genuine or sincere, and so my task would be much more difficult. Now, if I went overseas to, say, a Western country I could probably do it just fine, since few people have heard of me outside of East Asia."
Another student raised her hand. "Ken-sensei, what are your academic credentials?"
"I got my Masters in Psychology at the University of Paris, summa cum laude," Ken answered. "Best investment I ever made. Please, if you're still in high school, I strongly recommend that you plan on going to college. You'll make a lot more money in the long run and you'll find it easier to get the job you want. Plus, having a degree makes you look smart, even if you're really a moron. Like, for real, I once knew this guy in my college days who, like me, was majoring in psychology. And he was brilliant when it came to analysing human behaviour, I have to give him that. But it turned out that he couldn't even do basic..."
Wow, Sonoko thought happily. I can't believe I'm being taught by Ken Onami.
I wonder if Masumi likes anyone, Conan thought.
The class burst out laughing.
"Yeah, me and Jean-Luc had a good laugh about that," Ken said. "Now, before we begin, I'd like to offer a word of advice. In any relationship, no matter how much you love somebody, it's prudent to assess how far out of your comfort zone you're willing to put yourself in order to be with this person. I think that, as logical beings, we should all be prepared to have a point where we draw the line and simply give up on a relationship. While it isn't good to enter any kind of relationship thinking only about yourself and what you want, it's perfectly okay for you to break up with your significant other if you're miserable, especially before you and your partner tie the knot. But ultimately, it's better to know ahead of time that this relationship just isn't worth it, before complications arise."
Another student raised her hand. "Ken-sensei, isn't it kind of manipulative? What you do, I mean, and what you're going to teach us to do."
"Isn't everything in life?" Ken asked. "Manipulation is simply exerting X action upon an object or person to get Y reaction. For instance, whenever you first meet someone, you typically do whatever you can to leave a good impression on them, to make them think highly of you."
"Well, yes, but that's just with strangers, isn't it?" the student protested.
"Alright, let's say you've already got a girlfriend or boyfriend," Ken said. "Don't you put an investment into a relationship to convince that other person you still love them? In effect, you're trying to continually manipulate them into staying with you and not abandoning the relationship, even if you don't quite see it that way."
The student sheepishly sat back down. "I'm sorry."
"No, it's important to ask these kind of questions, really," Ken said reassuringly. "You never want to reach the point where you're a toxic influence on your partner, so it's good to engage in this kind of self-evaluation every once in a while. I would say there's no such thing as a stupid question, but I think we all know that isn't quite true."
Another student raised her hand. "Ken-sensei, will you go out with me?"
"See? That right there is a perfect example of a stupid question," Ken said.
That elicited quite a few laughs.
They had to have planned that ahead of time, Conan thought with a deadpan look.
"Okay, enough idle banter for now," Ken said. "It's time to get serious. In this course, every student will be focusing on a single target, a person who they either would like to be in a relationship with or already are in one with. So right now, I want everyone here to take out a pen and rip out a tiny slip of paper from a notebook or something. Then I want you to write that person's name on the piece of paper, and on the other side I want you to write your own name so I can identify whose slip is whose, and then I want you to put it in the hat."
He put an upside down hat on his desk.
About two thirds of the students nonchalantly wrote down a name on a piece of paper and headed for the front desk. The remaining students were taken back by the suddenness of this request, uncomfortable with writing down on paper the name of the person they liked (some weren't quite ready to admit it to themselves or to others).
Conan, Nancy, and Masumi sat there awkwardly while Sonoko casually wrote down Makoto's name and stood up.
Well, while I'm here I guess this'll be a good opportunity to get that done, Masumi thought.
She took out her school notebook and ripped out a small piece of paper. She hesitated for a moment.
"Huh? Sera-no-neechan, is something the matter?" Conan asked.
No, he and I are just friends, she thought. Because I'm not really a...
And so she wrote down a name and stood up, holding the paper in her balled-up fist so that no one could see what she wrote. She headed for the front.
Conan and Nancy awkwardly looked at each other. Nancy rose but then Conan rose instead and headed for another seat in another row. Sure enough, the two of them wrote down each other's name. They headed to the front, separately but at the same time and ended up side by side.
Ken looked at them. "Oh my, I didn't notice you two sitting in my class. Don't you think maybe you're a little too young for this kind of stuff?"
"N-no, we're good," Conan said, handing in his slip.
"Me too," Nancy said, handing in her slip.
The two of them headed back to their seats.
"You didn't write my name down, did you?" Nancy asked.
"No," Conan lied. "Did you?"
"Of course not!"
Sonoko was looking at the two of them with a deadpan look on her face, knowing that the two of them almost certainly wrote each other's names down.
"Alright class," Ken said after the last student had taken his seat. "Now I'm going to go through the slips. For the rest of this session, I want you all to go to the other room with the computers. Access social networking websites and review your chosen person's online activity. See what you can find out about their personality, preferences, and so on. Okay, I'll leave the rest to you."
Scene Transition
Conan sat in his cubicle, playing solitaire on the computer.
After all, he had lived with Ran Mouri for over a year. And they knew each other quite well for many years prior. As such he felt that doing "research" on her probably wouldn't yield anything that he didn't already know.
After winning the round, he yawned and stood up.
I wonder what everyone else is doing, he thought.
He exited the cubicle and entered the "hallway", which before the cubicles were set up for this seminar was just an open room. He walked from stall to stall.
Huh? he thought.
Ken was leaving Masumi's stall.
"Well, good luck," he could hear Ken saying. "And may the better man win."
Ken turned to see Conan. "Ah, you! What was your name again?"
"Conan Edogawa."
"Right. Conan-kun, what are you doing out of your stall?" Ken asked.
"I-I need to use the bathroom," Conan lied.
"Well, you're going the wrong way," Ken said. "The bathroom's over there in that direction." He pointed.
Scene Transition
After he went, Conan returned to the hallway. Ken was not around, so he felt it okay to try and peek around.
He tiptoed to Nancy's stall, slowly stuck his head inside, and...
"AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!"
As soon as he heard the scream Conan came running. He went past a corridor and entered a room. From there, he could see that in the next room a woman was standing, a frightened look on her face.
Conan entered that room, and he saw Ken's body hanging from a rope.
Masumi came in right after that. She gasped.
"Help me take him down," Conan said.
Then he turned to the woman standing there. "Call the ambulance and the police. Hurry!"
Conan and Masumi worked together to take down Ken's body.
Masumi ran off and then came back with a ladder. She used her left hand to undo the rope while she used her right hand to hold on to the body. Conan leaned against the body so as to prevent it from simply hitting the ground after Masumi undid the rope.
"Have you noticed it?" Conan asked.
"Yeah," Masumi said. "Around his neck, yoshikawa lines."
And then, the two of them said in unison:
"This was a murder."
Ending:
(Negai Goto Hitotsu Dake by Miho Komatsu)
Doushite futari wa deattano?
Konnani sabishii yuuhi wo miru nante
Ki no kiita kotoba sagashitemo
Hanareta kokoro wo tsunagu kotoba nakute
Dekirudake no egao de te wo fureba
Chotto dake demo kirei ni mieru no kana
Negai goto hitotsu dake kanaete kureru nara
Kizu tsuke atta ai ga hajimaranai you ni
Next Conan's Hint: Periscope