In a few weeks, it was going to be Valentine's Day, Bill's least favorite holiday. He was still alone, of course he had Kenny, but he still wanted a wife. He was on the sofa, sobbing loudly and thinking about how he didn't have a chance, when Kenny heard him.

"Is something wrong?"

Bill paused and looked at him. He spoke up and said in anguish, "I'm all alone, I have you, but I'm still not married. And I guess it's never going to happen. I'm fat, going bald; no woman wants a pig like me. I might as well give up."

Kenny sympathized Bill after seeing the pain he was in. He began to think.

Kenny POV

I don't know. What now? I've got to think fast and do something. I can't just leave him and let him do this to himself; I would be an ass if I just sat back and watch him suffer. I padded him on the back.

"Its okay, Bill. How about we go out and get your mind off this? You like KFC?"

He stopped crying.

"That sounds alright, just let me grab my jacket."

Then we locked the door behind us as we headed out for some chicken.

When we got there We got out of the car and went inside. We could smell the fried chicken from the parking lot. Everything was normal when I heard a familiar voice off in the distance.

"BUT MEEEEM! I SAID I WANTED 3 BUCKETS! DON'T SCREW ME OVER THIS TIME!"

It was Cartman, that little piggy fat fuck was crying to his mommy because she said one was enough and he wanted to pig out on 3 full buckets. But before I could realize it, Bill was making his way over to them. I stood there and watched as he defended Cartman's mother.

"Young man, you shouldn't ever talk to your mom like that, now I think it would be best to apologize."

Then Cartman got pissed. He screamed so loud I felt like I was bleeding from the ears.

"WHO THE FUCK TO YOU THINK YOU ARE? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS YOU AND YOUR FAT JELLY ASS!THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND MY MOM."

But surprisingly, Bill just went on lecturing him, except he began to glare at him and raise his voice.

"Now you listen here, your mother is the one who is always there for you; she is the one who looks after you, the woman that loves you. You don't talk to her like that. She is a beautiful and wonderful woman, and you better respect that. Because when you're old like me, you will realize how lucky you were to have a mom like her as a child."

Cartman stopped talking and just turned his back towards them, ignoring them now. Then I saw as Bill and Liane started chatting right away.

"Why thank you! That was really sweet! No one has ever stood up to me before! I'm Liane, you?"

"Bill, Bill Dauterieve."

"Why you must be little Kenny's Mr. Dauterieve that I've been hearing about! It's sweet how you are so kind as to go through so much just to give that little boy a home! Would you like to have dinner with us?"

Bill smiled, for once in several days, he actually looked happy. I could see the excitement and hope in his eyes.

"Sure! Why not? Is that alright with you, Ken?"

I nodded. I was glad Bill found a woman, but of all the women on this Earth, why did it have to be CARTMAN'S mom!? I mean, she was on the cover of crack whore magazine, what if she just uses Bill for sex, then dumps him? And what if her and the fat tub of lard move in?

I just hope she actually cares about Bill and I don't have to be stuck with that fat ass.