A/N: This is to the tune of 'Do It With Madonna' by The Androids. Also, when the word 'Brokeback' is used, I am, of course, referring to the movie 'Brokeback Mountain', in which Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger get nasty. By 'nasty', I mean ... well, you know what I mean. If you haven't already watched it, you should. It. Is. Hilarious.
Do It With The Dark Lord
You know Ron Weasley's got the body,
He really likes to show his stuff,
But when he's giving you a lap dance,
He looks just like a pygmy puff.
Hermione's cute but a real bookworm,
Plus she's a mudblood as well,
Although she has some tricks with her wand,
She can go and burn in hell!
I'd rather do it with the Dark Lord,
He's what a Horcrux's supposed to be,
Oh Voldemort, won't you do it with me?
When Harry saves the day he's awesome,
I like his glasses and his scar,
But some fans think that he's a Horcrux,
You'd have to move to Myanmar.
I'd rather do it with the Dark Lord,
He's what a killer's supposed to be,
The only thing I'd ever need,
Voldie, 'Crucio' me!
I'd rather duel with the Dark Lord,
He's really got me in my grave,
The only part-human I'd ever save,
Voldie, 'Priori' me!
Oh the Dark Lord ooooh ooooh ooooh You-Know-Who!
I'd really like to be with Draco,
That little sex god has me whipped,
I wonder if I could get Draco,
To go Brokeback with the Dark Lord?
I'd rather do it with the Dark Lord,
He's really got me whimpering,
Oh He Who Must Not Be Named, won't you do it with me?
I'd rather spend the night with Voldie,
He's what a wizard's supposed to be,
Oh Dark Lord put your Dark Mark on me!
I'd rather do it with Tom Riddle,
He's really 'Imperioed' me!
Have you seen that Order of the Phoenix trailer where's he's wearing a suit at Platform 9 ¾?
I wanna do it with:
Ooooh, the Dark Lord!
Ooooh, Voldemort!
Ooooh, He Who Must-
Ooooh, -Not Be Named!
Ooooh, Tom Riddle!
Ooooh, You-Know-Who!
REVIEW. IF YOU DO NOT, TOMORROW YOU WILL WAKE UP AND LOOK LIKE VOLDEMORT. NO KIDDING. I HAVE POWERS. AND A WAND.