Sooooo I wrote this yeeaars ago (y'know, back in the good old days of Gen V) but then my computer died tragically and my dad accidentally threw away my external hard drive with all my back-ups. So, I thought I would never see this fic again, but then I discovered… it was backed up on my email account too, along with a few other fics I thought were gone forever. T_T So, now the plan is to touch those fics up and finish them.
This fic was my answer to what happened to the three protags of BW after the game, before BW2. I thought it was kind of weird that Cheren says in BW2 that he hasn't seen Bianca in two years. I also found it strange that the protagonist apparently didn't bother to keep in contact with anyone back home when she went chasing after N. …I mean, it's probably just because the game writers didn't think about it, but it's a fic writer's job to come up with better reasons than that.
He would never admit it, but sometimes, deep down inside, Cheren wished he was weak.
Weak people had it easier. He knew this because he used to be weak himself. If Cheren was still weak, he wouldn't have to train alone in a cave all day. He could spend all day with his friends playing Wii and watching movies and talking about nothing. Weak people played all day, because they had nothing to lose by letting skills deteriorate. Weak people always did what they want, because they didn't have the willpower to resist it. And weak people always had someone nearby to protect them.
When Cheren was weak, he had Touko. From first grade when she chased away a pair of third-grade bullies who stole his glasses, through seventh grade when she gave a black eye to his first girlfriend of three days who kissed another boy in the cafeteria, to the day several months ago when she fought alongside Reshiram to save the future of the Unova, Touko had always been the protector. Now she was training to be the Champion, the protector of the whole region, and Cheren knew that no matter how much time he spent training in the mountain, he'd never surpass her. He'd come to accept it. But that didn't mean he'd give up. Sometimes he wished he could give up. But he couldn't, because he wasn't weak.
He wondered if Touko would be coming to challenge him today.
The storm of leaves came at him and snapped him out of his thoughts. It was easier to dodge than usual; Cheren managed to avoid it completely by ducking behind a boulder. The leaves sailed over his head or hit the boulder and fell, but Cheren flinched as one particularly forceful leaf blade severed part of a strand of hair off of his cowlick. He waited for the storm to pass, then brushed the leaf off his head and stood up.
The amount of leaves was smaller than usual. They were practicing to improve accuracy, not power, so there should have been a large amount of leaves coming at him with a small amount of force. Serperior always got more forceful as it grew tired; clearly it was nearly out of power points. Cheren didn't order Serperior to attack again, but beckoned to it. It slithered to him and Cheren ran his hand along its smooth neck.
"I think you're done for now. Good job, Serperior. Return," he ordered. Serperior disappeared, leaving Cheren alone. He exhaled and sunk to the floor.
This kind of training was new to him. He usually watched as his Pokémon sparred with each other or attacked wild Pokémon. It was only recently that he started training himself alongside his Pokémon – a method that he knew Touko employed, as well as Marshall and Alder. The hero of Unova, one of the Elite Four, and the Champion himself. If three of the most powerful trainers in the region all did it, it must be beneficial. So he practiced his physical evasiveness while Serperior practiced its accuracy. He'd worn thicker clothes than usual and told Serperior to use as little force as possible, but still his skin – mostly his face, since everything else was covered – was nicked in a few places where the leaves hit. It didn't hurt much.
His body was damp with sweat. He removed the protective jacket he was wearing and took a swig from a water bottle. The cave air was cool.
If he was weak, he could go to sleep right now, and wouldn't that be nice? He knew he should stop thinking that way. He forced himself to remember the drawbacks of weakness. That dependent feeling that he couldn't go anywhere without his friend coming along to protect him. The trapped feeling of being confined to Nuvema Town, which was never big enough. The humiliation of having to ask for favors because he couldn't get what he needed on his own, and he couldn't go without his wants...
Someday he would be strong enough to live as though he was weak without any consequences. But fantasizing would get him nowhere. He would simply have to train harder until he reached that point.
Loud, clunky footsteps interrupted his thoughts. Touko. He would recognize those footsteps anywhere. He stood to greet her.
She caught him putting his second sleeve through his jacket. She skipped up to him and kicked a few pebbles off to the side as she halted in front of him. "Sup, Cheren!" she greeted, and before he could answer, continued, "Hey, hey, Cheren, guess what? Did you know that if a guy drinks, like, three quarts of soymilk every day, it'll make him grow boobs?"
Cheren raised an eyebrow at her. "It's nice to see you, too," he told her. "Is there any particular reason you thought this information would be relevant to my interests?"
She grinned. "Nope. I just thought it was cool. But now that you mention it, I wonder if it would work on me..."
"Um, good luck with that."
"Thanks!" Touko flipped her ponytail. "Anyway... you ready to battle?"
"...Actually, no," Cheren told her reluctantly, though he hated to miss the opportunity. He hadn't battled Touko in several days. "We've been training all day, and everyone needs some time to rest up before we can keep going."
"Oh, so you're heading to the Pokémon Center now?" she asked.
He nodded his head.
"Well, that's cool with me," she said, turning around and skipping away. "I came all this way, I don't wanna fly all the way back!" Her loud voice echoed. "C'mon, slowpoke."
It was starting to rain. Cheren's cautious attempts to evade a large mud puddle were foiled by Touko jumping right into the middle of it, splashing him and soaking his jeans up to his knees. He scowled and she laughed as they entered the building together.
He didn't say a word to the nurse, he simply nodded his head as he handed her his Pokémon. "It'll be about an hour for typical training weariness," she told him, and he nodded again and left.
He usually spent healing times reviewing battle strategies, but Touko would have none of it. "I flew all the way here to battle you, and you don't even battle with me! So you better do something to entertain me, or else I'll beat you up!" She shook a fist at him playfully, then blinked as she noticed something. "By the way, what happened to your face?"
"Huh?"
"Your face. It's like you're covered in paper cuts."
Cheren scoffed and evaded the question. "Well, what about your face? And your arms, and legs, and your... everywhere else. You're covered in bruises, too."
"Well, yeah." She shrugged. "I'm always like this. You're usually not. I'm curious."
Cheren was slightly flustered; he was embarrassed to admit he's been copying her training style. "I got hit with a leaf storm."
Touko laughed.
"Why is that funny?" He scowled.
"Because you got hit with a leaf storm."
"That's not much of an explanation."
"Because, dude, it's an injury!" she emphasized, huffing and rolling her eyes as though she could''t believe he was that dense. "Injuries are hilarious! Like, one time, I was in Skyla's gym, and I got into the canon, and I, like, forgot to adjust it to the minimum settings before going in, so I flew up straight up, slammed into the wall, slid down, and got a concussion. It was awesome!"
Cheren gave her the look he always gave her when she needed to calm down. "You've told me that story before. Also, you should probably stop getting concussions all the time. Too many concussions can cause permanent damage."
"Okayokayokay," she cut in. Cheren could tell she wasn't really listening to him. "What I was trying to say was, it's better to laugh about stuff like that. I mean, how else would you expect me to respond? Did you want me to kiss it better or something?"
"No, but - "
Suddenly she had him by the ears and was grinning wickedly into his face. "Look, you're blushing! That must be a yes! Fine, I'll kiss it better!" She moved her head closer to him, and a confused Cheren closed his eyes and braced himself.
Except suddenly she let go of his ears and lightly shoved him away. "Just kidding! I wasn't about to kiss you! I thought you would resist more. If you want a kiss, go find someone else to kiss you. Go to Nimbasa City and you'll probably find some random person there to hit on you. It happens to me every time I pass the Ferris wheel, and my friend Touya – you don't know him but he's awesome – he met his boyfriend there. Anyway, you should try it!"
"I just didn't feel like fighting you since it would hurt my ears," Cheren protested.
"Okay, well, look, there's Alder!" Touko said, ignoring him once again. "Alder seems nice. I bet he would kiss you!" And before he could stop her, she had sprung from her seat, skipped up to Alder, who was busy speaking to Shantal about something, and shouted, "Hey, Alder! Come kiss Cheren!"
Cheren wasn't sure if he wanted to die, or kill Touko. The whole room interrupted into confused giggles, thanks to Touko's lack of an indoor voice. Even the mild-mannered nurse was trying to hide a smirk.
"Excuse me for a second, Touko. I'm talking to Shantal right now," Alder said, completely ignoring her odd greeting. Touko tapped her feet. She was not used to people ignoring her odd greetings, which was probably why she used them. Cheren thought that now would be a good time to make his escape and never, ever enter this building again, but just as he was standing up, Shantal left and Alder turned to face Touko. "Good to see you, Touko! What's new for you?"
"Nothing. Cheren says he wants you to kiss his boo-boos. Come here!" she grabbed Alder by the arm and started dragging him over to Cheren.
"Pardon?"
"Touko, will you stop rambling nonsense for once in your life?" Cheren tried to sound unfazed, but failed to keep a note of desperate pleading out of his voice. "I said no such thing!"
But she kept dragging the older man along and finally deposited him right in front of Cheren. Cheren stole a glance of Alder's stern-but-kind face, then looked down at his hands. He didn't like to speak to Alder. He was more than a little embarrassed about his past behavior around the man, and would've been quite pleased if Alder were to forget his existence entirely. Though it wasn't even a year ago, he'd grown up quite a bit since the day he had decided it was his place to give the Champion a tongue-lashing and announce his plans to usurp the man in front of a crowd of preschoolers. He was a different person now. He just hadn't had the chance to prove it.
Alder – who, quite fortunately, knew what Touko was like and was probably able to draw the conclusion on his own that she was making up something ridiculous to embarrass Cheren on purpose – smiled and greeted him simply. "Well, if it isn't young Cheren! How are you?"
Such old-fashioned speech. "I'm fine," Cheren said, as polite as he could be while also sounding as uninteresting as he can be, so Alder would get bored soon and leave him alone.
"Training hard?"
Cheren nodded.
"Treating your Pokémon well?"
Cheren nodded.
"Good, good." Alder clasped a hand on Cheren's shoulder, startling him into looking up and meeting Alder's violet eyes. He had a kind smile, completely removed from the patient-but-disapproving look he used to wear when he saw Cheren. "Take care of your Pokémon. Enjoy every minute with them."
"I will," Cheren said, finding it very difficult to know what to do with his eyes. Looking off to the side or ground would be rude, but he found it difficult to stare the man down directly like this.
Touko came to his rescue. "Hey, Alder! Alder, guess what!" she piped up.
Alder patted Cheren's shoulder twice before turning to face Touko. "What?" His voice sounded slightly amused.
"Did you know that in Orre, if you steal soap, the punishment is to wash yourself with it until it's all used up?"
Alder raised his eyebrows. "No. I did not know that."
"And here, it's illegal to carry a Vanillite in your pocket… on Sunday. Specifically on Sunday. Of course, no one cares about that law anymore, because no one would put a Vanillite in their pocket anyway."
Alder said something to her, asking her where she got all the random facts she had a tendency of spewing at people, but Cheren didn't pay attention. He was too busy trying to block the embarrassing situation from his memory and nervously replaying the exchange with Alder in his head – was he respectful enough? Did Alder understand how he has changed? A light, glowing type of feeling lingered on his shoulder where Alder touched it...
"Well, I must be going now," Alder said, and Cheren snapped back to attention. "I'm going to speak at an assembly at a school in Striatron City tomorrow. I'd best be off if I'm to arrive by dark."
"See ya later," Touko chanted cheerfully as she casually waved the fingers on one hand.
Cheren nodded his head. "Travel safely."
Again, Alder stopped walking to look him straight in the eye, an unreadable expression frozen on his face. "Thank you for your concern, Cheren. I will certainly try."
Cheren's eyes darted back and forth between the Champion's face and his own knees. "Of course," he mumbled.
Alder looked them over for a mere second before proceeding on his way.
"'Travel safely'?" Touko snorted as Alder left, not even bothering to wait until he was out of earshot. "What are you, his mommy?"
Cheren waited until Alder was out of the building before caving into his not-so-mature side and socking her in the face.
She dodged easily, as he knew she would. "Dude, what was that for?" Her voice was infuriatingly casual.
"Everything you just did!" He threw another punch at her and succeeded in hitting her upper arm, but he knew it didn't actually hurt her - the side of him that (for whatever stupid reason) loved Touko to pieces had held him back, as did his lack of physical strength. "Not only do you embarrass me on purpose, but you have to pester the Champion about it, too!"
She caught his arm and playing with his fingers for a few seconds before Cheren managed to yank it away. She flashed an amused grin. "I was just trying to get him to do you a simple favor. And I did not pester him. I politely struck up a conversation."
"Since when is it polite to shout in someone's face while he's talking to someone else?" Cheren shot her the most disapproving glare he could muster. "And stop smiling for once! It's not funny, Touko."
She couldn't suppress a giggle. "Sorry, Cheren. You getting mad just makes it funnier."
"Oh, honestly!" Cheren gave up, turned around, and crossed his arms. He'd learned from experience that the only thing to do when Touko was like this was to cut off her source of entertainment – any reaction but ignoring her would just fuel the fire. "You're such a bother. Let me read my book."
She was quiet for about as long as it took for him to take the small book from the waiting room table and find the page he was on the last time he was here. As soon as he stopped flipping pages, she started up again. She said his name once, then twice, and then, after a minute with no response, broke out into a chorus of, "Cheren? Cheren? Cherry-cherry-Cheren! Cheren? Cheren! Sharon? Four-eyes? Hipsterpants? Cheeeeerreeeeen!" He ignored her. She didn't make it easy to ignore her (she knew he hated how all the teachers mispronounced his name as 'Sharon'!), but he managed. It's a skill he'd had to develop.
Until she leaned over and swiftly yanked the book out of his hand.
"Touko!" he shouted as heard pages ruffle. "Touko, you'll damage the book!"
"In-synch Training: Intense Work-outs for You and Your Pokémon!" she read. Her voice was unnecessarily and quite deliberately loud.
"Give it back," he ordered flatly.
She ignored him and turned her back, anticipating an attempt to swipe the book from her hands. "'Part Four: Accuracy. Accuracy and evasiveness go hand in hand, so for the Pokémon to gain accuracy, the trainer must gain evasiveness at an equal rate.'"
Cheren lunged for the book, and she easily held it above his reach (she'd always been a few inches taller than him) and leaned her head back to read the text to read the text. "'...Practice dodging as your Pokémon attacks you with a wide-ranged move, and then gradually switch to moves with lower ranges.'" She laughed as Cheren made another failed attempt to grab the book. "They actually want you to – wait." It dawned on her. "That's what you're doing, isn't it? That's why you got hit with a leaf storm!"
Cheren should have known she'd figure it out. As much as she liked to act like it, Touko wasn't stupid. Cheren crossed his arms. "What of it? I just wanted to try it out!"
"Why?"
"Because I wasn't getting strong enough with my old methods."
"So you decided to let your Pokémon beat you up?" She raised her eyebrows. "No offense, but that's just stupid."
He scowled at her. "You're one to talk! You say you train with your Pokémon, too, and you're the one who always looks like she just got mugged! Miss Injuries-are-cool."
"I train with my Pokémon, but not like this! I climb trees with them and swim with them and stuff like that – I don't fight them!" She waves her hands dramatically. "Also, I didn't say injuries are cool, I said injuries funny, but not if you do it on purpose! Like, if you fall out of a tree and get a concussion, that's funny, but if you jump out of a tree – well, okay, that might be funny too, but…"
He didn't know why she was reacting so strongly. He didn't know why he was so embarrassed about it. But he was embarrassed, and the whole room has been listening to Touko's outburst, so he grabbed the girl's wrist and dragged her outside. She was oddly compliant about it.
"The way I train isn't any of your business, Touko," he said when they were out. Fortunately, the rain had let up; all that remained was a faint sprinkle.
"I don't care," she said. "It's stupid."
An inexplicable anger flared up in him. That was easy for her to say. Touko, who'd always been able to defeat him. Touko, who daydreamed as her Pokémon fought and won anyway. Touko, who used to drive away bullies by picking her nose and trying to poke them with the booger, who once chased down and tackled a pickpocket to retrieve her stolen GameBoy (she didn't manage to restrain him and he got away, but her mom bought her a GameBoy Advanced to reward her for sticking up for herself), who had never had that helpless feeling of depending on someone else's protection. She has never known what it was like to be weak. She was strong. She might even be the strongest – she'd never battled Alder, but Cheren had the sinking feeling she would win if she did. Maybe not the first time, but eventually she would get there. So she was hardly in a position to criticize his desperate – yes, desperate, he admitted to himself – training methods.
He wanted to say that out loud to her. But he knew it wouldn't have any effect. Because he knew that, deep down inside, even if she wasn't the strongest... she wouldn't care. She didn't even want the strength she had. She enjoyed it, but she didn't cherish it like he would. She hadn't battled Alder for no other reason than that she had no great interest in becoming Champion. She didn't need this strength.
And this made Cheren angrier than anything.
"Just shut up and give the book back," he said quietly. He didn't want to explode on her, but if she kept pushing him, he didn't know how long he could hold back his (admittedly irrational) anger.
"I'd give it back if it wasn't so stupid," she said in an oddly-serious tone.
"Touko, I am not in the mood for this. Give it back so we can go inside. It's freezing out here."
"I won't give it back until you admit how stupid it is."
He gritted his teeth. "Why are you being so difficult?"
"Friends don't let friends read stupid books!" Touko said stubbornly. "Why don't you read the stuff me and Bianca read anymore?"
That did it. He's snapped. "Touko, not everyone has time to read comic books all day and still be decent at battling! I'm glad you're as strong as you need to be! Good for you! But if you expect me to be a decent match for you, then stop bothering me when I'm trying to study!"
"I don't care if you're a decent match for me or not!" Touko put her hands on her hips. "I don't care about battling you! I win every time, anyway!"
Cheren froze. It was a low blow, attacking his pride like that. Yeah, they both knew that he almost never beat her, that she got stronger every day while he felt his skills had gone stagnant, and that things didn't seem like they were going to change any time soon – but he thought he was a bigger challenge than most. He thought that was why she sought him out every day. But she didn't care? What did that mean?
"Then why do you even come here in the first place?" He felt pathetic. He was practically begging her to soothe his ego, to take it back, to prove or at least pretend she wasn't just humoring him.
She hesitated. For a second, a soft look flashed on her face. She looked as though she was about to admit to something important, something painful – and then her eyes hardened again. She forced her lips into an unnatural grin.
And then she swiftly flung the book off the cliff and into a muddy puddle down below.
He ran to the edge, but it's too late – the book was submerged. Soaked. Completely destroyed. He couldn't return it to the Pokémon center in that state.
"What's the matter with you?" he scolded her. "That book belongs to the Pokémon League!"
Touko stuck her hand in her purse and pulled out a wad of bills and coins. "Take it. I'll give them extra, if they promise to buy something else instead of another copy of that dumb book."
He glared at her outstretched hand, not wanting to accept anything from her even though he knows it's her responsibility. "No. I'll just buy them another copy myself."
She shoved the money back into her jeans pockets, not caring when a few coins fall to the sides. "Cheren, I'm doing this because I'm your friend, and you're being stupid, and my friends aren't allowed to be stupid! So stop injuring yourself, or we can't be friends anymore, because I'm too cool to be friends with an idiot! Don't you know Serperior can kill you?"
Oh. Oh. So that's what this was about. She was still trying to protect him. Just like in second grade when she would physically assault anyone (except herself) who teased him about his glasses. Just like when she insisted on walking one step ahead of him at all times while they traveled through Wellspring Cave to chase after Team Plasma. Well, maybe if she had let him fight his own battles back then, he wouldn't be such a weakling today. Then he wouldn't even be in this situation.
"How I train is none of your business," he repeated himself, more fiercely. "And if you don't care about battling me, then leave me alone from now on! I don't wanna see you at all if all you want to do is ramble inane and useless anecdotes and be a big, obnoxious bother! Good-bye, Touko!" He spun around and stormed away in the other direction.
"Well, screw you, too!" she called after him. He heard a splatter as she stomped her boot into the mud. A few seconds later, he felt the roaring wind from Reshiram's wings beat at his back as the dragon's shadow loomed over him. By the time he turned around to look, all he could see was a red spark in the sky.
He was wet and cold but didn't feel like going inside and being around other people. He leaned up against the building, put his head in his palm, and groaned in frustration. Touko. She'd been more obnoxious than usual lately. Usually he was pretty tolerant of her, but that whole exchange had gone bad fast. And her final few words to him actually sounded hurt. But so what? He shouldn't feel bad. It was about time for her to learn she couldn't just do whatever she wants. And it was especially time for her to learn she couldn't boss him around. It wasn't her job to protect him anymore – no, screw that, it had never been her job. He could protect himself, and he could make his own decisions.
He checked his watch. It would still be a while before his Pokémon were ready. He couldn't use the time to study with the book destroyed, but he might as well use the time to eat, so he can train through dinner time. He returned to the waiting room just long enough to purchase a Styrofoam bowl of instant noodles from a vending machine and fill it with water from the coffee maker, before returning outside. As much as he hated cold, he prefered it to being in a room full of people who had just witnessed him getting dragged into a big scene by Touko.
He'd forgotten to get a spoon, but it didn't matter since no one is around to see the broth spill down his chin as he sipped straight from the cup, and it felt good to hold the hot cup in his frigid hands. As he drank the noodles, a memory entered his head of another rainy day years ago. School hadn't started yet that day; the children were on the playground. Dark blue heavy coat. Naked trees. Wet tan bark. Wet swings. His friends weren't there yet. Nothing to do. There was always someone playing basketball...
Cheren watched his classmates bounce pass the ball back and forth, throw the ball through the hoop so easily, laugh and throw insults and argue about the score. He liked the irregular beat made by the stomping of feet on the wet ground and dribbling of the ball, and the way the team members seemed to form a human stampede as they chased after the ball in unison. Basketball was his favorite sport. It hadn't always been his favorite sport – he never liked sports much before – but last Saturday his parents had taken him to Nimbasa City to watch the game in person. The Nimbasa Hoopsters versus the Opelucid World-Walkers. The World-Walkers were so good that they spent half the game goofing off and still won. At first, Cheren felt bad for the Hoopsters, but then in the middle of the game one of the World-Walkers spotted Cheren in the audience and told him to come into the court, and so Cheren's parents made him go, and that World-Walker – Cheren didn't know whose name was who yet – told Cheren to play for him. So he picked Cheren up on his shoulders and told him to aim for the basket and Cheren threw the ball. He didn't make it, but he came so close! It even hit the rim, which was better than Cheren had ever done before, since when Cheren shot, the ball usually didn't even get close to the net. And then the World-Walker put Cheren on the ground and patted his head and told him that he would be pretty good someday, if he practiced and got taller. That made Cheren like the World-Walkers a little bit more, even though the player immediately turned around and taunted one of the Hoopsters by saying Cheren had a better shot than he was. He was proud because he did hit the rim and all, but that didn't mean he should brag about it...
So Cheren liked basketball now. He took a deep breath, stepped up to the white line that marked the edge of the court, and squeaked, "Can I play?"
No one heard him, or perhaps they did but wouldn't answer. Cheren stood there awkwardly, hoping someone would notice him, wondering if he should ask again, until the ball got loose and bounced towards him. Without thinking, he reached out and caught the wet ball in his hands. Suddenly everyone's eyes were on him.
"Um... can I play, please?" he repeated.
The players looked at each other and then looked at him. "He wants to play?" Gino, a boy from his class, whispered a little too loudly. "He's a wimpy little nerd!"
"Does anyone need an extra player?" an older boy asked.
"I don't want him!" another boy said loudly.
"Uh... sorry," said the older boy diplomatically, as if Cheren couldn't hear. "We have even teams already, so there's no room."
"Oh... okay," Cheren said quietly, trying not to let his voice crack. He tossed the ball back and turned away quickly, swiftly running to his favorite spot under the tree where he could bury his nose in a book to hide his oncoming tears.
Touko arrived at school and came running up to him a minute later.
"Cheren? What's wrong?" she asked as she crouched down on the bench next to him.
"The basketball players won't let me play with them!" Cheren cried, covering his face.
"Well, did they have even teams?"
"They said I was a nerdy little wimp!" Cheren cried. "They said they didn't have even teams but obviously that was just because they didn't wanna play with me!"
"You can play with me," Touko offered.
"I wanna play on a real team!" Cheren protested.
Touko sighed, then stood up. "C'mere," she ordered, offering a hand.
Cheren wiped his nose on his napkin from his lunch bag one more time before getting up and taking her hand. She started walking immediately, barely stopping long enough for him to throw his used napkin away as she marched him towards the basketball hoops. "Touko...?" Cheren asked, but she didn't respond.
She left Cheren to stand politely at the white line once again, but she wandered straight into the court and caught the ball as it came towards her. "Time out," she commanded.
"Touko, go away and give the ball back!" Gino yelled.
"Why wouldn't you let Cheren play with you?" Touko demanded.
The players at last noticed Cheren, turning their heads to him. Cheren withdrew into his oversized winter coat.
"We already had even teams!"
"Uh-huh." Touko let go of the ball and started dribbling it. "Well, I'll join one team, and Cheren can join the other team, and we can all play together. Okay?"
"But someone left!" a girl piped up. "Then it wouldn't be even teams anymore!" Her teammates murmured in agreement.
"Okay, so then Cheren can play and I'll just watch. Okay?"
Realizing they had no way out, the classmates groaned. Cheren shrunk back again. Yes, he wanted to play, but not with people who so obviously didn't want him there! That was worse than being alone.
"No one wants to play with either of you!" Gino jeered, voicing the opinion that all of them secretly shared. "You both suck!"
"You suck!" Touko retorted. Not her most brilliant quip.
"No, seriously!" Gino shouted. "I saw you in P.E.! Have either of you ever made a basket in your life? You both suck!"
"Okay, I suck, but Cheren doesn't!" Touko defended. "He just went to a basketball game, and he met a famous basketball player, and that player said that he was really good for his age!"
Again, the group laughed. No one believed her. He wanted to start crying again.
"It's true!" Cheren insisted. "I don't suck! I can hit the rim!"
"So? Anyone can hit the rim!" a fifth-grader taunted. Cheren could have argued that it was a big milestone for him, but it hardly would've helped his case. Instead, he helplessly dug at the wet blacktop with his shoe.
"Okay, enough," Touko said seriously, putting the ball on the ground and securing it with her foot. "Let us play or we'll get the yard duty! Okay?"
"Sooo scary," Gino said sarcastically. But the group nonetheless grudgingly let them both join, each on different teams. Cheren flashed Touko an obligatory smile of gratitude, and she responded by flashing him a thumbs-up sign.
Cheren doesn't remember most of the details of the game. He remembers thinking Touko would make a good World-Walker – at one point her strategy involved tickling his teammates' armpits to get them to drop the ball. And she was quite strong and fast, on par with the best of players in that regard. But she still sucked. She could jump and throw the ball high, but her aim was almost as bad as Cheren's. In general, she failed at following plans or working together with others. She managed to make the other team hate her, but she managed to make her own team hate her, too.
Cheren himself was having trouble not getting trampled. He was tiny for his age, and his glasses fell off so easily, and it was just hard to keep up with everyone else. If only he could steal the ball just once. If only he could have the chance to shoot and show everyone that he didn't suck. Then they'd be sorry!
Finally he managed to squeeze through the mass of players and snatch the ball out of the enemy team member's hand. Before anyone even noticed, he was dribbling towards the basket. Everyone ganged up to chase after him. They almost had him! Gino was to the side. "Pass it!" Gino yelled. Cheren hesitated for a split second before taking a deep breath, jumping, and hurdling the ball as high as he could.
He closed his eyes and silently begged the ball to go in for once in his life.
It didn't even hit the rim.
His teammates snarled in frustration, yelling and complaining. Some were passive-aggressive about it, others blatantly told Cheren how wimpy he was. "S-sorry," he squeaked. "I'm really sorry!"
"Why didn't you pass the ball, Cheren!?" Gino demanded. "Man, you suck!"
"S-sorry!" Cheren repeated, stepping back.
"No one wants you here!" he raged. His face was actually red.
Cheren was starting to get scared. "I said I'm sorry!"
The teams started to meet up at the side; time to start up again. He was humiliated. He found Touko, who was in the middle of telling a joke to another girl on Cheren's team, tugged on her jacket sleeve, and mumbled, "I don't wanna play anymore."
"Why not?" Touko is surprised. "Just because you missed one basket? That's no reason to quit!"
"I just don't want to anymore, okay?" Cheren defended, folding his arms. "Can we please just go play with Bianca or something?"
"Geez, no need to yell. Fine, let's go! Hey, my mom said it's gonna rain more during lunch today! Let's dig a big hole in the sandbox so it'll fill up with water and make a pool!"
He let her grab his hand and drag him off, but he couldn't help but turn his head and watch as the game started back up. His teammates didn't even care that he left. They didn't believe, or even care, that a pro said he had talent. He'd never be strong enough to belong with them. And while he knew he had his own talents, he knew those would never be enough for them. Cheren was good at reading and spelling and math, but they only cared if you were good at basketball and skateboarding and eating large amounts of ice-cream in one sitting and Pokémon battles...
Pokemon battles.
His friends loved him. He knew that, and he loved his friends, too.
But deep down inside, he just wishes he wouldn't be the last one picked in P.E. all the time.
Cheren finds himself running his fingers through his hair absentmindedly. He hadn't thought about that day in a while. For a long time, it had remained the most embarrassing moment of his life. It was also, he remembered, about the time he first started to think seriously about Pokemon training. Of course, he wanted to be a trainer his whole life, but it was that day when he first went to Professor Araragi's lab and asked her to teach him about Pokemon, so he could have a head start when he first became a trainer. He wanted to do it because he had a chance – Pokemon training was the one sport that required more brains than brawn.
He had a rough time, back in elementary school. He didn't think about it much these days – it was ages ago. Contrary to the stereotype, it actually got better in middle school, due to most of the kids who treated him poorly dropping out to go on Pokémon journeys. The only ones who went to middle school were nerdy weaklings like him. And people with strict parents, like Touko and Bianca.
But he hadn't been relieved when half of his classmates went away forever. Bianca had been. Touko had been. The two girls had actually baked a cake together on the day Gino left Nuvema, complete with frosting-tube drawings of a stick figure labeled GINO getting eaten by an ambiguous blob-like Pokemon. That's how cheery they'd been. Cheren pretended to agree. But now he remembered that the classrooms just felt empty, and the people he talked to there never said the things he wanted to hear.
He was inexplicably disgusted. Was all of that why he became unable to settle for anything less than perfect superiority? Why he became doomed to permanent dissatisfaction with continual progress and personal milestones? Was that why he needs so desperately to defeat Touko? All he's become... and everything he's done so far – all of that, was just the result of a deep-seated craving for validation from peers who have probably long forgotten him?
It was beyond pathetic. If his bullies were to hear about it, it would only confirm all the things they said about him.
"No – that's not why I want to get stronger!" he argued aloud. "Maybe it was before, but I've changed. I'm doing this so I can protect the ones I care about!"
But then, why were his loved ones the ones he strived to defeat? Why does it hurt so much to admit to himself that they never did need his protection?
Introspection is such a bother, he told himself, dismissing the whole line of thought. Soon it wouldn't matter what his reasoning was, or how pathetic it made him. He just had to keep getting stronger.