A/N: This is really my actual first fanfiction I really plan on finishing. And I also like this story line. Sorry if the characters are OOC, but that's how they should be in my mind. They all have their own secrets. I worked really hard on this!

Anyways, enough of my rumbling... Enjoy! Reviews are welcome!

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Chapter 1

(Jade's POV)

My brain started to clear from the fog of the morning. There was rain pounding on the roof of Beck, my boyfriend's, RV, pushing me to step outside in the rain. I loved rain. It was relaxing and helped me to clear my head.

Wait...Beck's RV? I thought to myself. I was just home...

I gasped as I saw the rust colored blood on my hands. What the hell happened? My brain was refusing to recollect my memory, but I had a feeling I knew.

Running towards the curtain called his "room", I automatically smelled the stench of a rotting corpse. I held my nose. I moved the curtain to the side and looked away as soon as I saw the body.

"Beck!" I yelled, mad. Did I even do this? The blood seemed to point to it. Why would that thought even get into my head? I don't know. I can't remember. I don't know how I got here! Don't freak out, I told myself calmly.

I slowly placed myself by the dried, scarred, and bruised body of my boyfriend. Tears streamed down my face. I barely ever cried. There was once in front of Tori... VEGA... but, it was very rare for me.

"Oh God, let this just be a nightmare..." I whispered softly, my lungs barely able to utter a sound. I reached out to touch the body.

"SHIT! No..." I sobbed loudly, crying even more. I placed my head to my knees, trying to comfort myself.

Slowly, I picked myself up, grabbed my jacket, and slipped on my combat boots.

"I love you Beck," I moaned, attempting to keep my composure. I burst out with another round of tears.

Despite the rain outside, I ran out without an umbrella and headed to my car. The rain mixed in with my salty tears.

How did I drive the car here? I pondered, freaking myself out further.

What ever the case, I had to think about it later. I needed to speak to some one about this... It couldn't be happening...

(Tori's POV)

"That's the way, uh huh, uh huh,

I like it! Uh huh, uh huh..." Trina began to sing, walking up the stairs.

"Shut the heck up Trina! You can't sing for your life!" I yelled at her, laughing. She was annoying, but I still cared about her, like any other younger sister would. I think.

"What ever!" she yelled back.

I was sitting nonchalantly in my house. The living room to be exact, which was themed a calm brown, and plastered with plaques and achievements I had made. It was technically my mom's house, but...you get the picture. I really had nothing to do. Sure there was studying, but school was out. There was a huge hurricane threatening L.A... which I thought could never happen. But I guess you never say never.

The University of California at Los Angeles is great. I took Singing as my major, an acting in culture as my minor. I set a good path for myself, and I graduated from Hollywood Arts with high marks. That also led for our "gang" to slowly separate from each other. Everyone had to go separate ways.

I was going to call Beck, but something told me not to. He probably was with Jade "admiring the rain..."

Who does that? Liking rain? Only psycho's liked rain. Or emos, goths, or what ever she was. She was so close to Beck, so if I called him, she'd probably freak out.

Why would Beck go out with that mystery? Nobody understood her. No one thought she had any capability to show emotion.

She was a monster.

"Why am I thinking about Jade?" I thought to myself. I chuckled quietly, and shook my head. Getting comfortable, I turned on the tv, and switched to the news, hoping to find some more weather updates.

"And we now bring you to some breaking news. Beckett Oliver, a 19 year old young adult, who planned on attending New York Film Academy, was brutally murdered today, around 10 o'clock last night. Witnesses say they found Jadelyn West, his 19 year old girlfriend, fleeing from the scene in tears, after hearing yelling next door. Police say they have no suspects so far, but they shouldn't be too far off with the multiple traces of evidence..."

I stared at the graphic photos displayed across the TV screen. My face dropped into a frown, my thoughts screaming into my head. How could I think what I just thought? What should I say? I still didn't like Jade, but Beck seemed go find her an important of his life. He was always there for her.

I didn't have Jade's number, of course, and Andre moved to go to the Atlanta Institute of Music... so I could only call Cat. I knew she and Beck were close, so maybe I could help her out.

I got my phone and dialed the number, trying to keep from tearing up.

What about Jade though? Did she already know? I erased the thought of Jade from my mind as Cat answered the phone.

"Hello?" Cat said. I felt she wasn't smiling. Her bubbly attitude wasn't shining though the phone.

"Hey... um... this is Tori."

"Oh, hi! I was just thinking about unicorns and baby animals, you know..." She seemed hesitant, or as if she was lying... she never lied.

"Okayy...I have bad news... I don't know to say-"

"I already know. Just leave me alone..."

She hung up the phone.

I stared at ceiling in disbelief.

(Cat's POV)

Depression hurts. Cymbalta Hurts.

Fuck that shit.

Cutting eases my pain a lot better.

Ever since Beck was murdered, as I heard in the news, my depression sunk in, worse than ever.

Of course, Cat's supposed to be the bubble-headed bimbo with red hair, who loves unicorns and ice cream, and who especially hates cursing... but no one understood the real me.

Because Beck's gone now. The only brotherly and fatherly figure in my life. Dead. Brutally murdered. Who could have done that to a pretty boy like Beck?

I tightened the grip on the knife in my hands. I steadied myself on the cold bathroom floor.

*Slice* The blood dripped slowly from my wrist. God, this feels good, I thought, the pain surging through my arm. No one was in the house for now. I was all alone.

*Slice* Tears came from my eyes. I wasn't crying for myself, or Beck, or Tori.

I was crying for Jade. She doesn't understand what I go through. She'll never understand. But if she saw me like this, she'd be confused and scared. She might not even be able handle it. She might run away. I could see those stormy green eyes now. I helped her when she cried, but now she can't lean on me anymore. "Too bad," I groaned.

*Slice* I stopped. My wrist was teared open, and was burning.

Then I heard the door to my house open, and slam shut.

Dad? I worried, cleaning the knife and putting it away, under the sink.

I exited the bathroom and walked slowly down the stairs, trying not to be heard.

I looked around. I could never see home here. The living room was huge. Antique furniture was lined up everywhere, and a modern style "family" room has a huge TV and other electronics laying around.

It was a façade for my family.

And me.

"Cat!?" my dad yelled, slurring his words.

Shit, he's drunk, I sighed.

"Yes?" I said sweetly, trying not to upset him.

"Come the fuck down here, you bitch..."

I slowly approached him. . His shaggy beard was unruly and dirty, and his eyes seemed distant and glassy. He was wearing dirty jeans and fake brown leather jeans. He towered over me with light skin. I looked just like my dad. I closed my eyes.

"Do what you do, just get it over with quickly," I cried.

"Ohh, sassy huh? Let's see how that gets you far."

He slapped me. Hard. I fell down, my red hair flying behind me.

"I never liked this color," he laughed with a raspy voice, groaning and pulling me up with my hair.

Just let it happen... It always has... Always will...Now forever... Beck's dead...

My eyes closed and bled tear of shame, regret, and pain.

I wanted an angel to rescue me. Or just to shrink me into a speck of space. My angel, however, was dead.

For a split second I believed in God. People were convinced he would help. But how could he allow this to happen?

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A/N: And that wraps up the 1st chapter! I hoped all you who read it liked it. Please review! I have the 2nd chapter ready, but I still have to type it up. Until then!

Signing out,

emigirl108