Hi, everyone!! This is my fourth Yami no Matsuei fanfic to date!! And I still don't own them (dammit). Well, I'm writing this in the spirit of Halloween and because the general concept is both funny and idiotic. I guess my warnings are OOC-ness (mainly from Hisoka), stupidity, possible spoilers, and the kind of silliness you feel after having twelve cups of coffee. Enjoy!!
Unreal Yet True
October 29th, 4:15 p.m.
"All right, I'm finished," said Tatsumi, closing the file sitting on the table in front of him. "Does anyone have any questions?"
Tsuzuki waved his hand in the air.
"Yes, Tsuzuki-san?"
Tsuzuki stood up. "We–"
"No," interrupted Tatsumi, sighing heavily.
Tsuzuki turned on the waterworks. "Tatsuuuuuuuuuuuuumi–"
"No amount of whining and complaining is going to change my mind. I really don't see the point in authorizing Shinigami to wear Halloween costumes during work hours on Halloween."
"Tatsumi-san!!" perked up Saya. "It's a holiday!! And a fun one at that! Can't you at least let us dress up?"
"Yeah, we have a brand new never been worn Pink House dress for Hisoka-chan to wear!!" added Yuma.
Hisoka, who had been ignoring what was going on, suddenly perked up. "Tatsumi-san, I second the motion that we forbid costumes."
"Me too," grumbled Terazuma. "The whole concept is completely idiotic. Especially–"
"Aw, Hajime-chan," cooed Wakaba. "Don't be like that!! You know it'll be fun!!"
Terazuma glared at her. "Why the hell should I care if it'll be fun?!"
Wakaba reached into her pocket. "Hmm, I'm rather glad everyone's here. Now it will give me the chance to–
Terazuma immediately caught on to what she was doing. He grabbed hold of her wrists to hold them still, while grinning nervously at everyone else. "I changed my mind. It actually sounds like a fun idea."
Tatsumi rubbed his forehead. "Well, it's not for any of you to decide. It's not going to happen. And those who do come in with costumes on should consider themselves–"
"I think we should have a vote," cut in Tsuzuki. "After all, we all have a right to voice our opinions."
Tatsumi sighed again, knowing full well what would happen. "Tsuzuki-san, I don't–"
"Tatsuuuuuuuuuuuuumi!!!" cried Tsuzuki, turning on the waterworks again with an cute, mournful expression complete with chibi-inu eyes. "Don't you care about what we feel? What I feel? How can you be so cruel?!"
Hisoka sighed heavily, shaking his head. He knew full well where this argument was going to go.
Tatsumi coughed and straightened his glasses. "I-I guess a little vote wouldn't hurt anyone."
"WAI!!!!!!!!!!" cheered Tsuzuki, all happy again.
"All right. Who wants authorization to wear costumes on Halloween?"
Majority ruled as Tsuzuki, Wakaba, Watari, Yuma, Saya, and a reluctant Terazuma raised their hands.
"And those opposed?"
Hisoka, both Gushoushin, and Konoe raised their hands.
Two veins appeared on Tatsumi's forehead, but he said, "All right. You can wear costumes on Halloween."
There was a general cheer from most of those who voted yes.
Hisoka ducked his head. "Tatsumi-san, can I request a day off on October 31st? I don't want to be within ten feet of those girls..."
"Hisooooooooooooooooka-chan!!!" cried Yuma and Saya, waving black and orange ribbons. "You have to come in on Halloween!!"
"Done," said Tatsumi. "You've never really requested a day off thus far, so go right on ahead."
"Thank you, Tatsumi-san."
Terazuma suddenly perked up. "Wait, I want a day off too!!"
Tatsumi glared over at him. "Why would you want to miss the festivities? After all, you voted in favor of the costumes."
"So you're not letting me have a day off because of that? That's discrimination, I tell you!!"
October 29th, 9:37 p.m.
Hisoka sighed heavily as he entered his spacious apartment. Finally, he was away from the idiots.
A costume day on Halloween, he thought, shaking his head in disbelief. What are they, Shinigami or grade school students?!
The phone rang suddenly. Shaking his head, he walked over and picked it up off the receiver. "Kurosaki desu."
"Hisooooooooooooooooka!!" came Tsuzuki voice on the other line. "Why aren't you coming in on Halloween?!"
Hisoka rolled his eyes. "Because the concept of Halloween is stupid and childish."
"Aww–"
"Not to mention I'd rather go to hell than allow Yuma and Saya to get me into one of their fucking dresses."
"But I'm sure it would look good on you!! You're very cute and pretty; anything would look good on you!!"
Hisoka turned eighty shades of red. "What the hell are you babbling about?! Bye!!!"
He slammed the phone down as he heard Tsuzuki whine more on the other line.
I swear he's such a child, he fumed, heading into his small bedroom and flopping onto the bed. Whining and nagging about a stupid holiday that's so over commercialized and has a very dark concept to it. Ugh, I'm getting a headache thinking about it...
And what's wrong with him wanting to have a little fun? protested one side of him. I mean, these past few months haven't exactly been a walk in the park. After what happened in Kyoto, is it so wrong for him to want to play? Even if it's for a stupid holiday like Halloween?
Hisoka swallowed, realizing that side of him had a point. Ever since that run-in with Muraki in Kyoto just a few months earlier, everyone's been putting in the extra effort to try and help TsuzukiHisoka put in an even bigger effort than anyone except for Tatsumi to make sure Tsuzuki would be all right.
And ruining a chance for him to have fun didn't seem to help.
"I'm still not going in," Hisoka said aloud, deciding to get ready for bed early. "I'm sure everyone can give him a fun time without my help."
October 30th, 8:03 a.m.
When he entered the office the next morning, Hisoka immediately knew something was up. For starters, it was nearly time for work and the office was generally empty.
Not to mention there was a carefully wrapped square box on his desk.
He stood over his desk, eyeing the box with the highest level of suspicion. It was beautifully wrapped in shiny lavender and white wrapping paper with a blood red ribbon wrapped around the box forming a huge bow on top. A simple note was taped to the wrapping paper.
"'To Hisoka, with pleasant thoughts'," he read off the card. His suspicion grew.
It was then that people started filing into the office for work. No one seemed surprised to see him so early; he always came early for work. But they were a little surprised to see the present on his desk.
"Oh, from an admirer?" asked Wakaba, giggling.
Hisoka turned red. "I don't know. It's too early for Valentine's Day."
"Or White Day," said someone off to the side softly. Three veins appeared on Hisoka's head at that comment.
Tsuzuki bounced over. "Ohayo!!" he stopped when he saw the present on Hisoka's desk. "Where'd that come from, Hisoka?"
What's that note in his voice? wondered Hisoka. Ignoring it for the time being, he lifted up the box. "Might as well see what it is."
Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch Hisoka tear off the pretty wrapping paper and opened the box. Everyone seemed to hold their breath as Hisoka pulled out a cassette tape.
"Is that it?" asked Wakaba.
Hisoka took the tape out of its holder and read the words on it. Many more veins appeared on his forehead and face.
"What's it say?" asked Tsuzuki, sounding a little anxious.
Hisoka glared at everyone. "Who the hell sent me a self-esteem tape?!"
Wakaba took the tape. "'Improving Your Self-Esteem'. Wow, it really is a self-esteem tape!!"
Tsuzuki laughed nervously. "Is that all?" he changed directions at Hisoka's glare. "Um, not that you need it, of course."
"Yeah right," muttered Terazuma.
"Who sent me this?! I want to know who thinks this is a joke!!"
It was then that Watari came into the room. "Ohayo!! Hey Bon, why look so glum?"
Hisoka took the tape from Wakaba and shoved it under Watari's nose. "Someone thinks this is funny!!!"
Watari took the tape from him. "'Improving Your Self-Esteem'? Well, I don't think self-help tapes work in general. Not that you need it, of course."
Hisoka took the tape back and headed for the door. "I'm going to see Tatsumi-san. He'll know who was in here before I got here!!"
—
Tatsumi examined the tape. "Gomen, Kurosaki-kun. I didn't see anyone come in before you did."
"Then they must've left it last night," said Hisoka. "Probably to get back at me for not participating in Halloween."
"Did you get any suspicious phone calls or visits last night?"
"No. Well, Tsuzuki called me wondering why I took Halloween off. But that's it."
Tatsumi folded his hands on his desk. "Tsuzuki-san can be a bit of a trouble maker, but I can't imagine him pulling this off."
"I know. That's why I didn't accuse him when he came in."
Tatsumi smiled a little. "I see that you've grown quite fond of Tsuzuki-san."
"Well, he is my partner," Hisoka said off-handedly, ducking his head so Tatsumi couldn't see his red face. "And I've been working at trying to make him happy."
"He's becoming happier and happier, Kurosaki-kun. And I don't mean he's reverting back to his 'happy self'. The smiles and the laughs he shows have a lot more truth and feeling to them than they did before. I think we all can thank you for that."
Hisoka turned even redder. "I-I-I-It's not just me. You've help him, Tatsumi. And so has everyone else."
"I know. But you're the one who's put worth the greatest effort. And you're the one who's had the most prominent impact on him."
By then, Hisoka's face was so red he looked like a tomato. "I–"
Suddenly, there was a crash from the other room. It startled both Tatsumi and Hisoka, and they both rushed to the office.
"What–"said Tatsumi as he entered the door, but he cut himself off. Hisoka came in after him, seeing why he stopped.
"Gomen, gomen!!" said Wakaba, smiling apologetically. "I was just trying to hang up this lantern and it fell!"
Hisoka gaped at the room as if he'd never seen it before. In the short period of time he'd been talking to Tatsumi, everyone else was throwing up Halloween decorations. Black and orange streamers hung from the ceiling, along with lanterns, ghosts and bats. Both Tsuzuki and Terazuma were left with carving the pumpkins, all the while glaring at each other.
Tatsumi narrowed his eyes. "What is all this?!"
"Didn't we tell you?!" said Watari, smiling under Tatsumi's glare. "When you okayed the costumes, we felt it wouldn't be much of a Halloween without a good party!!"
"I didn't authorize a party!! And where did any of you get the funds to get these decorations?! Take them down right now, there isn't going to be a party!!"
Great, here it comes, thought Hisoka as he saw Tsuzuki stand up. As Hisoka predicted, Tsuzuki put on his cute pouty face and pretended to cry. But it was enough to make Tatsumi change his decision.
"I-I-I guess a little party won't hurt anyone."
Once again there was a loud cheer from everyone.
"A party and costumes!!" cried Yuma, hugging Saya tightly.
"Everyone must wear a costume or you'll be in trouble!!" added Saya.
"I'm not wearing a costume," said Tatsumi darkly. "And those who try to force me into one will not be paid for the next thirty years."
Hisoka glanced at his watch, wondering how long he'd have to stay before he could go home.
"Hisoka-chan!!!! Can you let us test this makeup on you!!"
He REALLY wished he could go home.
October 30th, 9:21 p.m.
Hisoka scrubbed at his face for the fifth time. Even after he toweled his face and getting it all off, his skin still felt oily from that cheap makeup.
Why does this stuff always happen to me? he wondered darkly, giving up on trying to wash his face of the oily makeup and heading into his room. Well, it's a good thing that I'm not coming in tomorrow. I pity Tatsumi-san though, since he has to be there...
He flopped down upon his bed, giving a slight hiss of pain when something hard dug into his leg. Grumbling, he fumbled into his pocket, pulling out the self-help cassette tape.
"I wish I knew who sent this to me," he muttered, tossing aside the tape in disgust. "Ugh, I better go to bed early. Just in case I get calls from those idiots in the morning."
October 30th, 10:54 p.m.
No matter how hard he tried, Hisoka couldn't get to sleep. And he really did try. But not even the silence of his house helped any.
"Shit," he cursed, sitting up in bed. "Why can't I go to sleep?!"
He checked his clock. "I'm glad I have tomorrow off. Maybe if I take a walk..."
That suggestion brought back unwanted memories. Especially since such a suggestion ended him up dead anyway.
I'm being stupid. This is freakin' Meifu!! No one's going to attack me!! And I doubt Muraki would sneak in just to attack me!!
Shaking his head, Hisoka decided to take a walk away. Giving off a loud yawn, he swung his legs over the side of his bed. His foot stepped on something hard as he stood up.
"What the..." he bent down and picked up the self-help tape he had tossed away. He sat back down as he looked at that tape.
"Nope," he said after being silent for several moments. "I'm not that desperate for sleep."
It wouldn't hurt to hear what the tape has to say, reasoned one side of him. Watari-san said these tapes generally don't work. So there's no harm, right? And if you go on your walk, I'm sure you'll be jumping at every shadow.
Hisoka grumbled, still debating between listening to the tape and going for a walk. He came to the conclusion that he was too tired as it was and any attempts to walk would probably end with him passing out somewhere.
"I hate it when I'm stuck like this," he grumbled, fishing into his side table for his walkman. He yanked it out and slapped the tape inside. He slid back under the covers and pressed play.
"Welcome to this session about self-esteem," came a woman's soft voice. Hisoka felt himself drift off to sleep already.
"If you are listening to this tape, then it probably means you find yourself unable to open up to anyone and are unable to express yourself in a positive matter. We'll go through the necessary steps in order for you to become the strong woman you've always wanted to be."
"Strong woman," muttered Hisoka.
"First off, you must keep telling yourself that's okay to let loose those feelings you might deem unacceptable. You must break loose from the ties that you or someone else might've put on you. Break loose!!"
"Break loose."
"Don't be afraid to express yourself!! Don't be afraid to give into your emotions!!"
"Don't be afraid...express myself...give in to emotions..."
"How do you feel so far? Not too liberated? Don't worry, there's still more to learn. Now, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror."
Hisoka didn't move, but somewhat responded to the tape.
"What do you see? I know what you might think. You might say to yourself 'this is a fat blob who will never get anyone to love me'. You have to realize that's simply not true. Repeat after me: I am beautiful."
"I am beautiful."
"I have faith in myself."
"I have faith in myself."
"I can have any man I want."
"I can have any man I want."
"Keep in mind that it will be hard to find someone to love you fully if you do not love yourself. Try keeping these words in mind the next time you look in the mirror. Do you understand?"
"I understand."
"Now that you recognize the beauty that you hold, it never hurts to show it off. Not so much to be frowned upon, but so you can make a statement to everyone around you. Repeat after me: it's okay to wear tight jeans."
"It's okay to wear tight jeans."
"It's okay to wear shorts and tank tops."
"It's okay to wear shorts and tank tops."
"It's okay to wear flashy and/or tight dresses."
"It's okay to wear flashy and/or tight dresses."
"Understand? Now you can let loose and have fun!! Never turn down the perfect opportunity to go to parties!! Especially costume parties!! They're loads of fun and will help you to make friends!!"
"Go to costume parties. Make friends."
"Now for the critical part of raising you self-esteem; your relationship. If you do not respect yourself, how can you expect your husband or boyfriend to respect you? Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns and initiate!!"
"Take the bull by the horns. Initiate."
"Showing your man just how appealing you are will allow for you to raise his awareness. You can't be satisfied by just sitting on the sidelines and not anything happening!! Making the first move requires strength, and strength requires self-esteem. Repeat after me: I can satisfy my man."
"I can satisfy my man."
"I can take the initiative with our relationship."
"I can take the initiative with our relationship."
"I can be as feisty in bed as he is."
"I can be as feisty in bed as he is."
"Understand? Good. Now, let's recap what we've learned..."
October 31st, 7:30 a.m.
When the beeping of the alarm clock awoken Hisoka the next morning, he felt like he was seeing the world with different eyes. He yawned pleasantly and stretched, shaking his limps loose. He pulled off his headphones and headed into the bathroom to wash up.
After getting ready, he found himself looking at his reflection. After staring silent for several minutes, an adorable smile broke out on his face.
"I really am beautiful," he said softly. He giggled and brushed aside locks of his hair. "Wow, I feel better. That self-esteem tape really worked."
As he left his bathroom and went back into his room, he noticed the calender hanging on his wall.
"That's right, it's Halloween!!" he said, feeling excited. "Oh, and everyone's throwing a party!!" he started feeling really excited. "All right, here's my chance to let loose!! I absolutely love parties!!"
Then he sobered. "Wait...I don't even have a costume!! What kind of fun will I have without a costume. Oh, I'll just ask someone for one when I get there."
Deciding on that, he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.
October 31st, 8: 09 a.m.
Needless to say, Tatsumi was a little surprised to see Hisoka at the office, who was admiring the many decorations. "Kurosaki-kun? I thought I gave you the day off! You even went home early to get away from the festivities!"
Hisoka flashed Tatsumi a bright smile. An action that startled Tatsumi.
"Did I really?" he asked pleasantly. "Gomen. I absolutely love parties though, and want to let loose!!"
Tatsumi gaped at him. This was not like Hisoka at all.
It was then that Wakaba came in dressed in traditional Japanese garbs, dragging Terazuma behind her, who was dressed like a pirate.
"Hisoka!" cried Wakaba, bounding over to him. "You came!!"
"But of course!!" said Hisoka, striking a pose. "I wouldn't miss this party for the life, er, death of me!!"
Wakaba blinked several times. "Eh? Hisoka, are you feeling all right?"
"Yeppers!! Never better!!"
"'Yeppers'?!" repeated Terazuma, pulling back his eyepatch. "Never heard him say that before. Is he sick?"
"I've decided to break loose and unleash my emotions!!" sparkles filled Hisoka's eyes.
Note: If this frightens you, don't worry. It's frightening me too.
"Um, o-kay."
Watari came bounding in, dressed as a woman. This cause face-faults amongst Tatsumi, Wakaba and Terazuma, but not Hisoka.
"What?!" he said indignantly. "I can't experience being a woman through my potions, so I might as well dress like one!!"
Hisoka hopped over to him. "Watari-san, you look so beautiful!!! Did you do your own makeup?"
"Um, yes." Watari glanced at Tatsumi. "Did Bon hit his head?"
"Maybe," said Tatsumi, straightening his glasses.
It was then that Tsuzuki came in, decked out in a top hat and dressed like a European duke. "Ohayo!! Wai, you came Hisoka!!!"
Hisoka fixed his gaze on Tsuzuki, finding his outfit to be quite...appealing.
He sauntered over to Tsuzuki, adding a strut to his step. "Ohayo, Tsuzuki," he said in a soft tone. "I must say that outfit looks so well on you."
Tsuzuki stared blankly back at Hisoka. He then pulled off one of his white gloves and touched his forehead. "Hmm, you're not feverish. Then what's wrong?"
Hisoka took hold of Tsuzuki's hand. "I'm fine, Tsuzuki. In fact, I've never felt better."
Tsuzuki was finding Hisoka's change in attitude to be slightly uncomfortable...and something else he couldn't identify.
Luckily, Yuma and Saya came into the office dressed like pixies complete with the expensive material they had bought from Pink House. "Ohayo!!!"
"Look, Hisoka-chan came in!!" squealed Yuma.
"And he doesn't have a costume!!" squealed Saya, an evil glint coming to her eyes.
"Costume time for Hisoka-chan!! We still have that beautiful Pink House dress we bought for you!!"
Hisoka brightened. "Really? You're really letting me wear it?!"
"Of course!!" said Yuma and Saya, happy about Hisoka's change in attitude. Both grabbed his hands. "Let's go get you fitted into it!!"
"WAI!!!!!!!!!" squealed Hisoka, literally scaring everyone except for Yuma and Saya. He happily allowed them to drag him from the office.
Silence followed their departure until Terazuma broke it.
"What the hell is going on?!"
"I don't know," said Tatsumi. "He was just fine when he left work yesterday."
"Maybe he did hurt himself," said Tsuzuki worriedly.
Watari grinned. "Oh c'mon Tsuzuki. Don't act like his display to you wasn't appealing!!"
Tsuzuki turned bright red, but said nothing.
Tatsumi straightened his glasses. "I'll look into what caused his sudden change in behavior. You all just go about your normal business and ignore him if he starts getting crazy ideas."
October 31st, 11:34 a.m.
Everyone tried to have a good time while they went about the party. Tsuzuki practically inhaled all the sweets that were there. Luckily, plenty of sweets had been bought in advance. Konoe even stopped by, along with a bunch of other people from other departments. It was turning into a huge and festive party without much incident. Well, except for when Watari slipped one of his potions into the cider, but Tatsumi caught him before anyone could drink it.
So everything pretty much ran like normal. That is, until Yuma and Saya returned with a newly decked out Hisoka.
"We're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!" declared Yuma, smiling brightly.
"Did you really do up Hisoka?" asked Wakaba, waiting patiently and fearfully.
"Of course!!" said Saya. She reached outside and grabbed an arm covered by a long, silk white glove. "Come on in!!"
There was a general gasp as Hisoka was pulled into the room. The initial shock was so overwhelming that no one could laugh.
"Holy shit," said Terazuma, gaping along with everyone else.
Hisoka indeed had been fitted into one of the nicest dresses in existence. It had pink, lavender, and white frills and sequins on it, though the majority of the color was pink. The dress itself was sleeveless, but the long gloves cover his bare arms. As he hesitantly stepped further into the room, everyone could hear the soft clicks of the heels on his feet, buried behind the frilly pink hem that slightly trailed on the floor.
He looked around hesitantly, sporting a lavender bow tied around his head. His face was decorated with beautiful makeup; pink lipstick, foundation, blush, light mascara, and lavender eyeshadow.
"Do I..." he trailed off before starting over. "Do I look all right?"
Someone choked a little, but it otherwise was silent.
Hisoka looked at Tsuzuki. "Am I...pretty?"
Tsuzuki turned bright red. "I-uh-of course you are."
Hisoka brightened. "Arigato!! I just knew I could make a breakthrough with a bit of makeup and a beautiful dress!!"
The party progressed as normally as it could after that. No one dared make fun of Hisoka in his Pink House dress. After all, it looked very good on him.
"I must say you pull off the costume better than I do," said Watari, whose outfit was outrageous but not as splendid as Hisoka's.
Hisoka smiled shyly. "Well, after some thought I realized it was okay to go all out and that I can dress in dresses if I wanted to."
"Exactly!!" cried Yuma.
"We're so glad you've seen the light!!" cried Saya.
Hisoka climbed up into Tsuzuki's lap. "Tsuzuki...am I pretty?"
"I've told you a hundred times, yes," said Tsuzuki, uncomfortable with the current position Hisoka was taking. Though at the same time it was oddly comfortable.
Hisoka leaned in close to Tsuzuki's face. "Say Tsuzuki...I want you to know I've decided to take the bull by the horns."
"Eh?"
"I'm going to take some initiative in this partnership we have!"
Tsuzuki's heart started beating rapidly. "What kind of initiative?"
"This kind." Hisoka leaned in closer as if to kiss. But a firm hand on his shoulder stopped him.
"Kurosaki-kun," said Tatsumi. "Might I remind you that despite this is a party this is also a place of work and such displays aren't proper work etiquette."
Hisoka pouted, but climbed off Tsuzuki's lap. "Gomen, Tsuzuki. Maybe later."
Tsuzuki made a strangled noise, feeling both relieved and disappointed.
Tatsumi took hold of his arm. "Come with me, Tsuzuki-san. I need to talk to you."
Hisoka gave Tatsumi a jealous glare, but said nothing as Tatsumi pulled Tsuzuki from the room.
Tsuzuki raised his hands defensively. "Tatsumi, it wasn't my idea–"
"Forget it,"said Tatsumi. "I stopped to save you both any embarrassment. Especially Kurosaki-kun."
"I see..."
"As you might've guessed, there's something wrong with Kurosaki-kun. He's acting completely unlike himself and has done so all day."
"I know. Hisoka's not the type to climb into people's laps and..." Tsuzuki trailed off.
"Well, we should look around and try to figure out what happened. I've been looking around the offices. Can you check his house?"
Tsuzuki shifted his feet. "Um, sure. He gave me his spare key so it'll be easy to get in there."
Tatsumi raised an eyebrow. "Did he now?"
Tsuzuki turned red. "I-I-I-It's because of when I was having nightmares."
"I see."
"I'm going to head over there." Tsuzuki quickly departed. Tatsumi gave a soft chuckle and went back to looking.
October 31st, 12:17 p.m.
"Okay, let me see..." muttered Tsuzuki, searching around carefully to not disturb anything. He knew that once Hisoka was back to normal he'd be pissed off that Tsuzuki went through his stuff.
The current Hisoka probably wouldn't care, though.
"Damn, this place is practically empty as it is. How am I suppose to find any clues as to what happened to Hisoka?"
He made his way into the bedroom, amazed at how clean and empty it was. As compared to his own house.
"Clues, clues..." said Tsuzuki, looking around the bed. He was about to up when he saw something sticking out of the covers.
A pair of headphones.
Tsuzuki reached into the covers and pulled out Hisoka's walkman. "Hey, I didn't know he had one of these!!"
Something clicked in his mind. He opened it up and pulled out the cassette.
"'Improving Your Self-Esteem'," he read aloud. He snapped the walkman shut. "That explains some of the change. Not all of it, though."
He put the headphones on and pressed play.
"–your man just how appealing you are will allow for you to raise his awareness. You can't be satisfied by just sitting on the sidelines–"
Tsuzuki quickly pressed stop the tape. Okay, now everything was explained.
"I better take this back to Tatsumi!"
October 31st, 1:02 p.m.
"...And it won't be too long before the real woman deep within you is finally let out," said the woman's voice on the tape as it wove to a close.
Tatsumi coughed and pressed stop on the tape player. "I see your point, Tsuzuki-san."
"That's strange," said Watari. "Self-help tapes aren't suppose to be really effective. And this tape has had the most prominent effect on Bon."
"Any way to reverse this?" asked Tsuzuki, looking a little frightened.
Watari thought about it for several minutes before saying, "The only thing I can think of is if we slip in another tape into his walkman that says pretty much the opposite of what the tape says. Not all the way; just tell him he's a man and stuff."
"Okay," said Tsuzuki. "While this Hisoka's nicer, I'd much prefer the old one."
Watari smirked evilly. "Oh, don't tell me you didn't like it when Bon was coming onto you!!"
Tsuzuki choked, turning red.
There was a crash from the office. But before they could act, a slightly woozy Wakaba came in.
"You better go back there, Tsuzuki," she said. "Hisoka's convinced you left him for Tatsumi."
Now both Tatsumi and Tsuzuki turned red.
"B-B-But I'm not in a relationship with him!!"
"Well, he's drunk and acting strange."
Tsuzuki rushed from the room, Wakaba followed. Watari snickered a little and Tatsumi glared at him.
"So much for salvaging Kurosaki-kun's dignity," he sighed, straightening his glasses.
October 31st, 10:48 p.m.
"Do ya really have to go?!" slurred Hisoka as Tsuzuki set him in bed.
"Yes, I have to help clean up the office," he said. He handed Hisoka his walkman. "Here, listen to some music or something."
"It's jus' my self-esteem tape. And it worked, 'cept when you walked off with Tatsumi-san..."
"Hisoka, I've explained this several times–"
Hisoka reached up and wrapped his arms around Tsuzuki's shoulders. "I'll go to sleep if you kiss me goodnight."
Tsuzuki found the task rather easy and not uncomfortable. He gave Hisoka a sweet peck on the forehead. This seemed to satisfy the drunk teenager, who dropped back down on the bed, managing an exhausted 'Ouyasumi nasai'.
"Ouyasumi," said Tsuzuki, tucking him in and setting the headphones on his head. He absently brushed a few strands out of Hisoka's partially closed eyelids. "I should take proper care of you and make sure situations like this don't happen again. It's the least I can do, considering all you've done for me. Then again." he laughed a little. "It was nice to see how you feel for me. From what I heard from the tape and how you singled me out, you obviously feel strongly for me to treat me like that."
He kissed Hisoka on the forehead again. "Take care. Let me see the normal Hisoka in the morning."
He made sure to hit the play button before he left.
"Testing, testing," said Tatsumi's voice on the tape. Hisoka started to drift off to sleep. "Konnichi-wa, Kurosaki-kun. The reason you're listening to this is because a few things need to be cleared up."
"A few things you might've picked up from your self-help tape that you weren't suppose to," added Watari.
"Repeat after me," said Tsuzuki's voice. "I..." he trailed off. Then quietly came, "Tatsumi, what does this say?"
"I'm a man," hissed Tatsumi.
"Oh, okay!! Gomen, Hisoka! Now, repeat after me: I'm a man."
"I'm a man."
"It's all right to be comfortable with myself."
"It's all right to be comfortable with myself."
"It's perfectly okay for me to act cute."
"It's–"
"Tsuzuki-san, that wasn't written down!!" came Tatsumi's voice.
"Wai, but Hisoka needs to–"
"Just stick with the facts!!"
"...Okay."
"Well, the main point is that you're a man," came Wakaba's voice. "Say it three times in a row. I'm a man."
"I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a–"
"You got it? Good!!"
"Keep in mind that generally you don't wear frilly dresses," added Terazuma.
"Don't tell him that!!!" cried Yuma.
"Yeah, Hisoka-chan should ALWAYS wear dresses!!!" cried Saya.
"That's it, out!!" yelled Tatsumi. "Neither of you are helping!!"
"The point is," said Watari, talking loudly to block out the arguing in the background. "You're a man. A very introverted anti-social man, but a man nonetheless."
"We all love you very much, Hisoka," said Tsuzuki. "And we want you to be yourself. But it never hurts to show some pleasant emotions, does it?"
"But always remember that you're a man," came Tatsumi's exhausted voice. "Okay?"
"I'm a man."
"That being said, let' s put this on a loop or something."
November 1st, 8:04 a.m.
Hisoka glared at the remains of the Halloween party. Whoever had cleanup duty did a lousy job.
Ugh, I just hope yesterday's episode was a big nightmare, he thought. He had woken up with a huge hangover and wearing a frightening dress.
After being confused, the entire night came back to him.
Maybe it wasn't a dream. Maybe I really did prance around like a fucking idiot. This can't be happening. Oh, this can't be happening!! Maybe if I ask Tatsumi-san he'll give me the okay to ask Enma to send me on!! Anything but make me face everyone!!
He had no such luck. A wave of coworkers, some who had hangovers, came in looking exhausted.
"I can't believe that one guy puked all over my outfit," complained Wakaba, sitting down at her desk.
"I'm wondering why I woke up in your bed," said Terazuma, holding an ice pack to his head. Wakaba turned red and gulped down her coffee.
Tsuzuki hopped over to Hisoka. "Ohayo, Hisoka!"
"Ohayo," grumbled Hisoka, feeling too embarrassed to look at Tsuzuki.
Tsuzuki looked confused. "What's wrong?"
"I..." Hisoka glanced at him. "Gomen. For how I acted yesterday."
Tsuzuki's eyes brightened. "It worked!!! You're back to normal!!" he hugged his partner tightly. "WAI!!!!!!!"
"BAKA!!!!! Let me go!!!!"
Yuma and Saya then came in, looking extremely happy. "Hisoka-chan!! You were wonderful last night!! And guess what; we bought another Pink House dress!!!"
"AUGH!!!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tatsumi laughed a little as he came into the room. "I'm glad to see you back to normal, Kurosaki-kun."
"Me too. Now can you keep those idiots away from me?!" Hisoka realized Tsuzuki was still clinging to him. "And let me go, baka!!"
"Aw, 'Soka-chan!! I'm glad to have you back, but I'm really glad to know how you feel for me!!"
Hisoka turned red. "What?!"
"I mean, you love me as much as I love you–"
"Dream on!!! Why the hell would I love an idiot like you?!"
"You're cruel, 'Soka-chan!!!!"
"Hisoka-chan, try some ribbons!!! They're blue and red!!!"
"STOP IT!!!"
Tatsumi sighed. "Everything's back to normal...back to being noisy."
—
Elsewhere in JuOhCho, someone was pulling open a filing cabinet drawer full of cassette tapes. In their hand held 'Improving Your Self-Esteem'.
"Mission complete," said Watari, dropping the cassette into the drawer. "This place needed some happiness. And those two are slow to noticing each other..."
A loud crash came from the office, along with Tsuzuki crying.
"Well, not much progress. Maybe..." he fished through the cassettes, pulling out one titled, 'Tasting your Fantasies'.
"Then again..." he dropped it back into the drawer. "I should save that for a rainy day. Like Valentine's Day, or Tsuzuki's birthday."
He closed the drawer and stood up. Suddenly, an evil glint came to his eyes and he sat back down and yanked open the drawerHe fished through the cassettes, pulling out one titled 'The Joys of Anal Sex'.
"I'm sure this will be an interesting gift for Tatsumi," he snickered. He closed the drawer again and left his lab, setting out on his next mission.
—
Whew, that took a lot out of me. But it's done!! What'd you think? Drop me a review and tell me what you think. Thanks for reading and Happy Halloween!!!