Before you start reading, try tio bare with me the first few pages, it gets a lot better about 5-10 minutes in reading, i love this story and love Erik and Charles so i couldnt help myself! this is a slash fic so you know right off.
This has some bits of Priest mixed in, just because i was thinking about it when i wrote it, you dont have to have seen it for it to have the same effect but just letting you know! :)
Rating is T for now but rating will probably go up after this chapter.
please R&R so i can continue writing if i dont get reviews i have this nasty habit of quitting ^_^
Charles and Erik now embark on a trip to a small town just outside of Chicago, to find new mutants to join in on their cause.
Cerebro had picked up on quite a magnificent power, none like Charles had ever seen or felt before.
Stepping out of the Cab Erik and Charles look awkwardly at the monastery staring them in the face, They look to one another with confused expressions, Charles turns and asked the taxi driver through the window.
"Are you sure this is the correct address?" he asked as Erik stands in waiting next to the cab.
"I'm sure as ever, you know how many girls I bring here? Wanting to become nuns? Its crazy girls these days, I could find it with my eyes closed."
He replied before speeding off leaving the 2 men standing there.
Charles shrugs as he turns to Erik.
"Hopefully she is not a Nun." Erik says amused gaining a laugh from his companion.
They turn to the Monastery and begin up the large stone walkway to knock on the heavy stone doors.
There Joan stood before all of her colleagues, the decision she had made during the war brought her to what she had to face today, she looks down the aisle to the head priesthood standing in waiting for her, the red Cross that had been branded on her forehead still as evident in this moment as the day she received it, a black hooded coat covering her dark curls and lay heavy over her face, covering yellow eyes filled with discontentment and betrayal, all she tried to do is defend her fellow Priests against the dark evil in the world she knew, what thanks does she get? None simply punishment, this is the day that all she fought for lived for will be taken away from her, she looks down at the Rosary beads wrapped around her hand, she knows as soon as she meets her prior mentor at the front of the chapel he will take them from her and all she cares for, leaving her broken and disowned, she takes a deep breath and lifts her eyes as she approaches cautiously, her comrades, fellow Priests, stand in her honor as she makes her way to be dishonored in front of everyone, she slowly meets with the head of the church and stands bravely up, slowly removing her hood from her head, the beads still wrapped in her hand as she looks him square in the eye.
"Do you come willingly today and confess to the sins you have committed in front of all your comrades, confess and be forgiven, do not confess and you will be banished from the church, to go against the church is to go against God." He proclaimed loud enough for all the audience to hear, she holds her chin up high and looks over familiar faces, some pleading for her to confess and move on, the others hoping she will make a stand for them, finally someone to get the revolution started, a martyr in the eyes of her companions. She replied loudly and strongly.
"I do not confess, I do deny my God, I did nothing wrong and will never confess, no matter how much you threaten me." She proclaimed the gasps were heard loudly across the large space, the head of the church looks down upon her harshly grabbing her wrists and taking the beads from her hand then the bible that had been tucked behind her belt.
"Then let it be known here today, you are no longer of God and have no authority here, you have betrayed your fellow priests and betrayed the church, be banished from my sight evil one and never return." He declared and pressed his palm against her forehead, "May this cross you bare be an ever reminder of your betrayal of the Church and God." He said ruthlessly then signaled for some men to drag her from the church she went calmly and honorably she knew what she did was right and wouldn't change her mind for anyone.
Charles knocks on the door loudly, Erik by his side they stand and wait for an answer.
"Do you think this is a good idea?" Erik asked quietly
"I really don't know, Erik." Charles replied with a shrug, soon the door creaks opened and a small old nun looks up at them.
"Welcome my children how may we bless you today?" the kind old woman asks.
"Well, we were looking for someone, possibly you can help, her name is Joan."
The look of surprise ran across her face, she looked side to side before coming out to them and closing the door behind her, Charles and Erik look at one another curiously then back at the old nun standing in front of them.
"have you not heard what has happened?" she asked
"No." Charles replies as he looks into her mind, seeing the events from earlier, Erik glances at Charles knowingly, and notices a look of discontentment on his face.
"I cannot say much, but perhaps I can get you in to see her, I practically raised the poor girl, it is a very difficult time at the moment." She added, then turned and opened the door, glancing side to side before motioning for them to follow, Erik and Charles follow closely behind as the woman gets some keys from her belt and opens the door, "Joan, theres some young men here to see you." She explains through a small crack, Charles feels her moving to the door, as she looks out at them with one intense yellow eye, she opens it wider to let them in,
"Thank you Sister, leave us please." She requested, The old woman nodded and exited the room closing the door behind her.
Charles comes to introduce himself but is interrupted.
"I know why you're here." She says strongly.
"Why are we here?" he asks
"You want me to go with you."
"How did you know?" Erik asks
"I saw it in a vision last night." She replied, Erik and Charles glance at each other then back.
"Extraordinary." Charles exclaims with a wide grin.
"I only have a few things to pack." She said then turned bitterly stuffing many black articles of clothing into a old worn suitcase.
Charles suddenly turns more serious.
"I know you have had a very tough day." Charles says, Joan's shoulders slump as she faces the bed packing her things away.
"You wont regret coming with us, you'll be with people like you, you will have companions to be there for you, and speak up when you need them too." Charles added.
"Enough!" she said harshly turning to them with her brows furrowed, "My companions would have done the same for me, a million times over." She retorted, "They were simply doing as they were told, one day soon they will be brave enough to stand up for the truth, a revolution is coming and they wont be able to stop us."
"Do you mean nuns or mutants?" Erik asked.
"You are foolish." She replied, Erik forming a scowl on his face. "My fellow Priests." She added.
Before calming down slightly and taking a step back.
"What do you mean mutants?" she asked.
"You have a mutation like I and Erik both have, special gifts and talents, would you mind sharing with us?" Charles understanding, she had a difficult day and gentleness was what she needed now, Charles sensed that.
"I've always been told my gifts were God given, that was the reason I joined the Priesthood to begin with." She said and sat heavily on the bed. Charles kneels down softly in front of her.
"Joan, don't regret anything you have done, your gifts are God given, just not in the way you thought, you are a very special person." He added kindly, Joan sighs and looks over Charles' head to see Erik standing toughly looking down at them.
"How do you know all of this?" she asked
"I'm a telepath, Erik can manipulate any metal substance, we're mutants like you." He replied with a gentle smile.
"I often have visions, on some occasions I can transport to other locations, places I've never been, but somehow I always make it home." She confessed, Erik grins widely, Charles smiles softly, and lays a hand over hers.
"There's more." He presses.
"I can sense the feeling of the area, also if evil is coming or danger." She added, and looked up at Erik again. "I do not feel in danger." She said and added a soft smile.
"Finish getting your things, Erik and I will get you out of here." He said as he stood, Joan nodded and began packing her bag again, Charles turned toward Erik and whispered in his ear.
"we've found a good one, my friend." He said and patted his shoulder.
"Lets hope." Erik replied.
Later that night they arrived at the Mansion, Charles had explained all he needed to Joan on their way home, Joan now had many questions answered, and Charles felt no regret from her for the decision she had made, however when the car ride grew silent, she would sit and stare out of the window her hood pulled over her branded forehead, at those moments Charles sensed a strong sadness and despair, Charles looks to Erik and frowns.
"What?" Erik asks in a whisper noticing that familiar look of concern on Charles' face.
"I don't know how to help her, Erik." He said and looked down.
"You'll find a way, you always do." He reassured with a large smile, Charles smiled back as they looked into one anothers eyes, this friendship seemed to be growing into something more each day, best friends possibly better than either man had ever had before, Neither ever got tired of the others company, and never wanted to leave each other either, Charles closed his tired eyes and tilted his head back as he drifted off for a short nap, once asleep his head rolled ever so slightly onto Erik's shoulder, Erik smiled softly and gently brushes his sleeping face with the top of his knuckles, Erik allows him to stay there until he awakes.
Charles sitting at his desk, its late in the evening, too late after coming home from their voyage.
He is reading over a letter sent from Moira, exhaustion evident on his face, resting his chin on one hand.
Quietly Erik enters the room, the door opening gently then closing behind him, silently Erik stands and watches his friend read even at his tired state.
Charles sighs and rubs his eyes between his thumb and index finger, then moves his hands to rub at his temples, his head pounding and shoulders tense, Erik approaches him, and stands behind him, his hands replacing Charles' on his temples and massages him softly, a sigh of relief leaving Charles' lips.
"You should get some rest." Erik says sweetly, Charles gives an affirming moan, Erik's hands gently sliding down to Charles' neck massaging it gently adding just enough pressure to work the knots out.
Charles lets out another soft moan, as he allows his head to slowly ease down to rest on the desk, his arms crossed beneath his forehead
There being more room between Charles and his chair, Erik moves his hands down to massage between his shoulder blades, Charles' muscles delectably tight under his touch, Charles breaths in a comforting sigh, this had to be the best massage he had in a long time, maybe ever.
"My friend." Charles sighs heavily. "Your hands feel like heaven."
Erik smiles to himself, resisting the urge to lay a kiss on the back of the telepaths head, as his hands move back to Charles' head, his fingers tastefully scratching his scalp through his thick curls, Charles lifts his head pushing against Erik's palm.
"To bed, Charles." Erik whispers, as he removes his hand and pulls Charles' chair out from the desk so he can stand, Charles glances up his big blue eyes looking silently grateful and warm, Erik turning the lamp out without a touch, Charles stands and slightly wobbles Erik catching him in his arms, close to his friend as he gives him support, Charles leans forward softly resting his Brunette head on Erik's chest with a sigh, Erik allows him to stay there as long as he pleases, Erik gently brushes his finger tips across Charles' right temple, Charles leans up slowly and insecure, and looks at him wonderingly, Erik swallows roughly this feeling twitching in his heart something he had never felt before, Charles remains silent, but the warmth filling his chest and cheeks speaking loudly enough, Charles knows what he is feeling but cant understand why, its like the feeling you get when you fall for your first crush, Charles looks down as Erik's hand slips to the back of his head, Charles grateful for the darkness of the room hiding his emotions better than he could hide them himself in his exhausted state, Charles turns quietly towards his bed, Erik follows close behind there to catch him if he stumbles, Charles laying down on his side and curling into a ball, a heavy sigh of relief leaving his mouth as his eyes flutter closed.
Erik gently removes his shoes for him before pulling the thick bed cover over his now lightly snoring friend.
Erik smiles softly as he looks him over, so cute and vulnerable as he lay sleeping soundly.
"Good night my friend." Erik whispers softly, leaving a feather light kiss on his exposed cheek, Charles now asleep so deeply, he didn't notice, Erik exits the room without a sound.
After she got settled in the morning came too early, Joan looked out the window that the light had shined so brightly in, she had to squint her eyes, she sits up and looks out, seeing Erik and Charles are already up and about, they are walking outside having some kind of discussing she assumes, she makes her way down the stairs to the kitchen to find her fellow mutants sitting and eating at the table, they all look up at her in curiosity they had all been sleeping when they arrived home the night before.
"Hello, I'm Joan." She said with an uncomfortable wave and smile, she knew right away what they were all staring at, the cross on her forehead, she looked down slightly embarrassed before turning and taking a seat by herself at a smile table on the farthest end, the one next to the window, she always enjoyed looking outside.
Erik and Charles enter the dining room, both smiling widely, looks like they had a nice morning chat.
"Good morning everyone!" he proclaims chipper, the rest bid good morning to the professor as he makes his way to pour himself a cup of coffee, Erik notices Joan sitting by herself, wearing a long black robe, more of a Priestly style than a sleeping robe, he approaches and sits on the apposing side.
"Good morning." He said trying his best to be friendly and inviting.
"Hello." She replied quietly, then pulled her hood over her forehead, Erik looked down slightly before speaking again.
"Do you want something to eat?" he asked.
"No, I've been fasting breakfast since I was 13." She replied looking up at him with those intense eyes, barely visible under her hood. Erik lifts his head and nods slightly.
"I know what it is like to go hungry."
I spent my entire youth starving if I had the option to eat I would take it.
He thought to himself, soon they were joined by Charles he sits with his coffee and looks at Joan intently.
"How are you feeling this morning?" he asked her kindly.
"Alone." She replied quietly.
"That's a very honest reply, thank you Joan." He replied, Erik watching them closely, he hated that Charles was paying her so much attention to her, Erik had been his main point of focus up until last night.
Joan just looks at Charles blankly, and folds her hands into her sleeves as her arms rest on the table.
"Charles, Aren't you needed for Cerebro in 10?" Erik asked, Charles turns to him with a strange look on his face.
"I suppose so, now that you mention it." He replied. "Time flies." He added then stood.
Joan and Erik looked up at him from the table.
"Well, Erik, Are you coming?" Charles asked.
"I'll be there in a minute." Erik replied, Charles nodded with a slightly disappointed look on his face, then turned and made his way out of the room, alone, making a quick glance back at the couple as he left.
"Joan." Erik said with his deep voice, she turned her attention to him.
"Charles can read your mind, but he doesn't without permission, I can read faces, and yours is a tattle tale." Erik added tensely.
Joans brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"Don't cover up your Cross, its part of who you are, you shouldn't be ashamed." He said kindly, then reached across the table and tilted it back gently.
"that's not who I am anymore, I gave it all away when I came here, they don't want me." She retorted and pulled her hood back over her head. "and they don't understand either." She said and looked at the other students still eating their breakfast. "I don't belong anywhere." She looked down darkly.
"You will always be a Priest, you will always be a mutant, you have to decide which one you are more of." He replied then stood from the table abruptly and exited the room, Joan follows him with her eyes.
After Erik had left the room, Joan glances towards the table catching the blonde headed boy looking at her, his eyes curious, she gives a curious look in return the boy smiles slightly and looks away awkwardly.
'he's kind of cute.' She thinks to herself then shrugs off the thought looking back out of the window.
Erik enters the lab at a fast pace, slamming the door behind him, Charles already has his helmet on and is using Cerebro, Erik stands next to the railing Charles takes support on and watches impatiently.
Soon the machine is shut down, Charles' breathing is tight as he waits, then removes the helmet, catching his breath, Erik cant help the feeling inside his stomach when he watches his best friend go through such a tiresome activity day in and day out, Charles smiles down at Erik, as he steps down from the machine.
Taking a seat on a small metal chair close to where Erik is standing.
"You shouldn't worry so much, its not good for you." Charles said.
"You shouldn't work so hard, its not good for you." He retorted playfully.
"Charles, Joan is having a very hard time settling in." he added.
"Yes, I know, hopefully when we start her training she will begin feeling more like one of us."
"Do you think that is a good idea? She seems very weak, malnourished almost."
"Even more reason to start sooner." Charles said as he laid back against the wall taking a quick rest.
Erik looked over him adoringly and affectionately, Charles smiles softly at him.
"My dear, dear, friend." Charles says as he turns his attention towards him. "What would I ever do without you."
"I imagine what you did the 24 years before me." he replied sardonically, Charles laughs.
Charles lays his head back in thought, then smiles.
"I have an idea." Charles said and looked at Erik with a smile.
"An idea for what?"
"There's a chapel in the mansion, I'll take Joan there, find her a room nearby its perfect." He said then stood having a little more spring in his step as he exited the room, Erik of course followed after him.
"Come Joan, don't peak." Charles said as he led her into the Chapel, she clung to his arm for support, Erik stood brooding along side them as they entered carefully, Joan finally smiling in anticipation. It wasn't until this moment the Erik felt a sting of jealousy in his chest, Joan a pretty girl, clinging onto Charles' arm for support, Charles barely even sparing a glance in Erik's direction, as if he had forgotten about him all of a sudden.
"Let me look!" she said.
"Alright, open your eyes." Charles said gently as she opened her eyes and looked upon the Chapel, she didn't smile, didn't frown, simply walked towards the Pedestal a large Crucifix standing tall behind it, Charles had the Chapel cleaned up and the candles lit by the alter, he didn't spend much time in the Chapel honestly.
Joan walked slowly towards the front running her fingers over the pews as she goes,
Charles is standing next to Erik, then nudges him softly with his elbow as he grins in accomplishment, Joan kneels down in front of the crucifix and does something Charles had not thought off, She begins to weep and covers her head with her heavy hood, making a cross over her head and shoulders as she begins to pray, Erik smirks slightly knowing Charles' plan didn't quite go as he expected.
Charles frowns and looks up at Erik, whom simply shrugs.
Joan stands to her feet and blows the candles out turning towards the two men standing shoulder to shoulder.
"Thank you, Its such a relief to know I'm so close to something so near to my heart." She expresses with a kind smile.
Erik growls lowly to himself, Joan approaches Charles and gives him a tight hug, Erik crosses his arms and watches.
"Your welcome, anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable." Charles said softly into her hair. She releases him and smiles up at him.
"Let me show you, your new quarters." He said and smiled, then turns she follows him to the next room, Erik huffs to himself and plops onto one of the pews looking up towards the crucifix and sighs.
its early in the morning the son is barely beginning to shine, Joan is is lightly sleeping when she hears her door flung open, she jolts into a seating position and looks to see whom had entered so abruptly, seeing Erik comes inside quickly and slams the door behind him.
Joan looks at him tensely.
"Why are you so angry?" she asked, but Erik did not reply he remained seemingly calm as he approached her, though she sensed his fowl mood he pretended not to have one.
"Day one of training Joan, you have 5 minutes to get up and meet Charles and I on the track outside."
"What if I don't want to?" she asked
"Then there's the door." He said harshly, as he exited her room.
5 minutes later, Charles and Erik are standing outside in they're gray sweat suits as Joan approaches them the white rocks crunching under her heavy boots, she is wearing what seemed to be suede pants tucked into military boots, a black long sleeve and fingerless gloves, she had a belt with some trinkets in it that she learned to use as a Priest, she joins them with an attitude and stands with her hands on her hips.
Charles smiles at her, Erik just gives a blank stare.
"Good morning, Joan, good of you to join us." Charles greeted friendly.
"hello." She replied "What am I supposed to practice on?" she asked, Charles rubbed his hands together gleefully.
"Well Joan, you told me you can transport, but never on command, that's what we are here to help with, see that stone stature there? I want you to stand right next to it, without taking a step." Charles said and gave her a good pat between the shoulder blades pointing her away from him.
Joan looked back at him with her brows furrowed.
"Well, go on then." Charles urged nicely.
Joan didn't even know where to begin, she just stared at the ground next to the stature and tried her hardest to appear there, Erik crossed his arms waiting impatiently, Joan growing more nervous the longer it takes, Charles glances back at Erik hoping for the best.
"I have the highest faith in you, Joan." Charles encouraged, Erik grew jealous with his encouragement those words were the same Charles used to help him, they were even standing on the same ground.
Joan still didn't move, Erik had, had enough with a firm push he pushed her to the ground, Joan squeaked as she plummeted to the ground.
"Erik!" Charles snapped and turned to see a wide grin on Erik's face, turning to see the same site, Charles saw that Joan had transported to the other side, Joan grinned widely.
"I did it!" she shouted across with a big smile.
"Wonderful!" Charles exclaimed, with a large smile then Joan transported back to them just as easily, laughing and smiling Charles takes her into a large hug, Erik's jaw clenches then he turns angrily and stomps towards the house entrance, Charles looks over her shoulder concerned with furrowed brows but doesn't chase after him.
Later that night during their usually chess game, Erik is sitting across from Charles watching as he makes a thoughtful move, then sits back.
"What a find Joan is." he said with a huge grin, "What a find." He added enthusiastically.
"I suppose." Erik gritted
"What has gotten into you Erik? Just the other day you were just as excited as I." Charles inquired
"You're the mind reader, you tell me." He said darkly, taking his turn and slamming the chess piece down.
"Erik, really, I'm not playing this with you." Charles answered exasperated.
"Charles, Your so blind sometimes." Erik replied
"What are you talking about?"
"Never mind, its your move professor."
"Erik, I'm not making a move until this is resolved." He said stubbornly and leant back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest.
"I'm going to bed." Erik retorted toughly then stood to leave.
"Erik, Erik." Charles called out as he walked out slamming the door behind him, Charles raked his hands through his hair and exhaled deeply.
Erik sitting on his bed rubbing his face. 'Why do I feel so jealous?' he thought to himself then laid flat on his back across the bed looking at the ceiling. Thinking about Joan and how Charles is so enthralled in her and her talents, he thinks about how she looks at him, and it makes his blood boil.
"If I cant have him, She cant either." Erik thought to himself getting out of his bed abruptly.
Joan sitting in her room looking in the mirror, she runs a finger across her forehead, and huffs in annoyance, she pulls her hair down over it, wondering if she should just cut thick bangs in her hair to mask whom she once was, she hears a heavy knock on her door and turns quickly.
"Who is it?"
"Erik, open up." He said loudly, she hesitates for a moment then stands, before she can reach the door, Erik unlocks it himself and enters closing it behind him.
"Come on in then." She says sarcastically, hands on hips.
Erik approaches her with a tense look on his face, Joan senses his emotions, tough and raw, angry and serene, she breaths in slightly as he stands merely inches from her face.
"You know, you're the most beautiful creature I have ever seen." He says, her brows furrow as he brings his hand up to eye level, in it a set of rosary beads, she smiles broadly.
"where did you get these?" she asks as she took them from his hand gently, how she missed hers, she grew up with them something just felt wrong without them.
"that's not important." He said dryly
"Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me." She said as she wrapped the beads around her fingers.
Erik puts a firm hand on her lower back pulling her into him.
"Erik." She breaths he leans down to kiss her neck, her hands roam to his chest, "What are you doing?" she asked
"What's it look like." He whispered in her ear.
"Erik, I'm not sure about this." She said shakily, Erik stood and picked her up laying her on the bed.
"You will be in the morning." He said seductively
"Stop." She pleaded he did no such thing. "Please, Erik stop it."
"Just pretend I'm Charles." He said hurtfully, as he gripped her jaw between his fingers, she looked up at him in fear.
"Erik please, I didn't want this, any of this." She pleaded and looked to her side.
Erik considered his next move carefully, if his plan to get her to fall for him was going to work, he had to do something quick, that's when the words came to him.
"I'm sorry, Joan, I just can't help myself, your so beautifully broken, I just want to fix you."
He lied, and kissed her gently, Joan relaxed slightly, her bent knees falling flat on the bed. "Please forgive me, beautiful sweet, Joan." He mused and snuggled his nose into the bend of her neck. Now for the clincher he thought. "I just wanted to belong." He whispered.
She sighs, all she wanted was to belong as well, she brushed the back of his neck softly with her fingers.
"Me too." She whispered. "I forgive you." She said softly, Erik leant back and kissed her softly. Then pulled away.
"Goodnight." He said coldly as he retracted and stood up.
"Goodnight?" she asked in disbelief.
He replied with a sarcastic sweetness.
"Your obviously not ready for this, I'll wait as long as it takes. My love" He said and blew a kiss before exiting, Joan looked so very confused as her door shut behind him.
Erik rolled his eyes as he made his way down the hallway straightening his shirt.
The next morning, Charles and Erik were supposed to help Joan train some more, Erik and Charles standing outside in the grass waiting on the main focus of their team, Charles bends down to stretch, Erik stands stiffly sneaking a peak at Charles' well rounded ass, with a risen brow.
"So, Erik, are you going to tell me what last night was all about?" he asked.
Erik tensed in his shoulders and tightened his jaw, Charles straightens up with a sigh, Erik's attention immediately looking in another direction as Charles turns to look him in the eyes.
"Please my friend, I do very much hate to be in your bad graces, it leaves me empty some how." Charles added looking away shyly.
Erik's heart softened, Charles eyes, deep blue filling Erik's soul with care and kindness.
"I don't like you spending so much time with Joan." He replied plainly, Charles' brows raise questionably.
"Why is that?"
Erik hesitated a moment too long, Joan approaches, Charles turns his attention from him to look, Joan waves kindly, stepping up to Erik and before his eyes, she gives him a lingering kiss on the cheek, as she brushes her fingers through his hair, Erik tenses, he didn't expect her to do that in front of Charles, she released him, and smiles.
"Good morning." She says sweetly looking up into Erik's eyes, Charles' eyes are as big as the moon, he coughs into his hand as he turns away trying not to stare so rudely, Joan turns to Charles and smiles.
"Good morning, Professor." She greets.
"Good morning." He replied clearing his throat again.
Joan wraps an arm around Erik's waist as she waits for her instructions, Erik tries to maneuver his way out to no avail.
"Actually, I'm feeling quite under the weather." He said and looked to the ground, Erik's shoulders slump, he feels intense sadness and disappointment projecting from Charles' mind, accidentally it would seem.
"Me and Erik can practice today." She said joyfully looking up at him.
"Good, Good." Charles replied with as friendly of a smile he could muster with his heart sinking into his chest, then awkwardly began walking backwards towards the house, "I'm just going to take a quick rest." He says as he turns, Erik can see him wipe his eyes with his sleeve as he finally enters the doors.
Erik frowns, all he wanted was for Joan to fall head over heels for him so she would ignore Charles, he never wanted to hurt him like this, never really wanted Charles to know what he had done in the first place, Erik looks down ashamed,
"You don't actually care for me do you?" she asked sensing the despair in his emotions as she moves away from him. "This was all for him?" she adds and turns hurt.
Erik doesn't even go after her, just turns from her and walks down the track with his hands in his pockets and head hanging low.
He really messed things up this time, now how could he fix this?
Charles sitting on his bed in the dark, the curtains pulled shut and lights dimmed holding his head in his hands, shoulders shaking as he weeps silently.
What have I done to deserve this? Why doesn't he love me?
He thinks to himself as he wipes his tears harshly.
Soon a loud knock on his door, Charles head shoots up and looks in its direction, then checks the time on his wall clock, 8:45 the normal time for the nightly chess game with Erik, Charles panics, he didn't want Erik to see him so broken up.
"Charles its me, open up." Erik says gently through the door.
"One moment." Charles replies wiping his cheeks again quickly checking his appearance in the mirror trying to hide the fact that he had been weeping.
"Charles, open the door." Erik urged a little impatiently. Charles quickly straightens his cloths.
"Come in." he croaks from across the room sitting at his desk pretending he had been there the entire time.
Erik enters closing the door behind him, seeing Charles sitting at the desk and smiles softly, Charles mocks his expression.
"Already time for chess? My where have I been all day." Charles says uncomfortably, Erik stands in front of his desk and looks down at him, replying in the gentlest voice he could manage.
"I was just about to ask you that."
Charles looks down sadly, rolling a pencil across his desk, trying to carefully pick the correct reply.
"I've been here, studying." He said and raised his blue eyes to Erik's green, that looked down at him so softly, almost apologetic.
"Are we to start our game then?" Charles says fake cheerful and stands walking towards the table, Erik follows him and stands next to the chess table, silently.
"So, will I be white again, like always?" he asks as he sits and begins arranging the game.
"Charles…" Erik's voice trails off.
"What?" Charles replied hearing the seriousness in his companions voice.
"Are we not even going to talk about it?" Erik asked as he lay a hand on the back of Charles chair slightly leaning down over him.
"About what?"
Erik huffs "Joan, this morning, what else?" he said harshly.
"About that, I don't think its appropriate for either of us to date any of the students." Charles replies quickly shaking his head "It isn't right, they are too young." He said setting down the last chess piece. "I'm very … disappointed, Erik." He added, Erik exhaled deeply, knowing that couldn't be the only reason for his reaction that morning, could it?
"I don't care about Joan, I don't want to date her, we aren't dating." He said deeply as he turned his back to Charles walking towards the large windows using his gift to open the curtains by the metal loops it hangs from, the sun barely showing at the end of the sunset.
"Good, there's no problem then." Charles replied, knowing full well there was still a problem, the problem being Erik's sour mood of late, since Joan's arrival Erik has been distant, and very emotionally shut off.
"Come Erik, come play with me." Charles insisted as he looked at the tall mans broad shoulders, Erik turns and takes a heavy seat across from him.
Charles can still sense a tenseness in the room, he simply is uneasy about how to handle it.
"Charles, I'm sorry." Erik says barely louder than a whisper.
Charles looks up at him attentively.
"For what?"
"For Joan, for everything." He added after a deep breath.
"For being jealous?" Charles pointed out.
Erik looks at him with an unwavering gaze.
"Well … Yes?" Erik replied about to say something else simply to be interrupted
"Also for devising this great scheme, Erik? What have I done to make you hate me so? Are you sorry for going out of your way to make me look like a fool, make me feel miserable? Why? All I want is to help you, be your friend. What is so wrong with me that you want me to hurt so?" Charles babbled on looking tensely into Erik's eyes, Charles eyes water up in waiting for his reply.
Erik looks down ashamed, Charles stands running his hands through his hair and goes to his desk to fill a glass with scotch, Erik sits silently thinking over what he had just heard.
Charles gulps down the drink and swallows roughly, Erik still without reply.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose my temper." He says after a long moment of silence, then looks down.
Erik sighs and stands from his seat approaching Charles slowly, he puts a gentle hand on Charles' neck to tilt his head up and get his attention, Charles turns towards him and looks up into his eyes.
"I just wanted you to be…jealous." He admitted, Charles gives a sideways smile.
"It worked." He replied shyly then looked up at him with puppy dog eyes.
"My last intention was to hurt you, Charles." Erik whispers softly.
"I know." Charles replies and takes his empty hand to grasp Erik's. "I know Dear friend." He added again.
This was it, the moment Erik had been waiting for, the opportune moment to tell Charles the truth, the deep dark broken beautiful truth.
Erik's heart begins to pound, Charles can fill Erik's heart quicken through the touch of they're hands, Erik hesitates, Charles waits patiently, rubbing his thumb across Erik's knuckles.
Erik tries to speak, he tries to tell him exactly how he's feeling, and exactly why he did something so stupid.
I act like a fool in love.
Is what he wanted to say,
He wanted to say it with a kiss, touch his lips against Charles soft rose colored ones.
to caress his cheek and look deeply into his eyes, leading to the soul, feel his warm breath against his face as they near.
he wanted to tell him how dear he was, he wanted to lay his heart on the line, but his mouth simply wouldn't work, his throat clogged up and his mouth squeezed closed, soon his chance had passed him by, Charles released his hand and laid it gently to Erik's side, with the kindest voice.
"I'm sorry Erik, I don't want to play tonight, its been a difficult day." He says exhausted as he rubs his forehead between his fingers taking small steps towards his bed.
Erik watches as he sits softly down and sighs heavily, covering his face in his hands.
Erik feels his heart burden: seeing through Charles' appearance how tired he had become, Erik pushing him ever closer to exhaustion, Why couldn't Erik be easier, be someone to hold Charles in his time of need, be there for someone else for a change, Erik didn't want to be a burden anymore, but somehow he knew he would never change, he could never be the better man, never protect Charles like he so deeply desired too, he could never protect Charles from the worst thing that could happen to him. Himself.
"Good night, Charles." Erik replied then quietly left the room, with a lingering glance as he stood in the opened door.
"Good night, Erik." Charles says weakly, Erik turns and leaves the room, his heart heavy with remorse.
Joan standing on the balcony looking to the sky, Erik soon joined her, Joan felt him approach and turned.
"I've decided." She said and smiled
"Decided on what?"
"I'm a mutant, I don't want to be a priest, never again." She said strongly, and approached him then ran her hands from his waist band up his chest, Erik tensed under her touch,
"What changed your mind?"
"Priests cant touch you like this." She replied and stood on her toes to kiss him.
Erik hesitated, thoughts of Charles sitting looking so defeated flashed through his mind, he thought of how sad he seemed, thought about what he had said about Joan and the other students, then he thought about the girl beautiful and willing running her hands down his chest. He thought he had already disappointed Charles beyond repair, he had caused so much damage to his friend already, perhaps the best thing he could do is forget about him, find someone else to care for, find someone less deserving that he didn't have to try so hard to protect.
Erik ran his fingers through her soft curls and kissed her back, grabbing her hair tighter pulling her head back to kiss her neck, Joan sighed slightly, moving her hands to his lower back, Erik grabbed a hip and squeezed her tightly making her whimper softly.
She closed her eyes as he nibbled on her neck, she concentrated and transported them into her bedroom.
Charles laying in his bed, tossing and turning, he is exhausted but cannot ignore the constant nagging in the back of his head, He could not stop thinking of Erik, wondering what he was doing, wondering who he was with, Why hadn't he just told Erik when he had the chance, he should've told him the root of his hurt, it wasn't that fact that Erik had mislead Joan, it was the fact Erik had chosen her over him. Charles rubs his eyes and debates whether to look into Erik's mind, of course he had promised he wouldn't, but the desire grew thicker, even to the core of his being.
Just a quick peak.
He thought to himself, bringing his fingers to his temple, hesitating for one more moment. Before committing and entering Erik's thoughts, first off Charles felt an intense emotion of self loathing and self disgust, after rummaging through thoughts that fogged up the mans head, he entered his mind, seeing a small glimpse of Erik's activities, Charles thrust himself out of his head, Charles had seen Erik kissing Joan softly on the lips, his hand on the back of her head, fingers weaving through her dark hair, an intense pain shot through his heart, as if he had been physically struck.
After such a heated argument, he at least expected Erik to return to his room and consider what he had done, but instead he went straight to Joan, the subject of the argument.
Charles began to weep, grabbing his head in his hands as he buried his face in the pillows, this had to be the worst pain he had ever felt. Utter betrayal.
Erik takes a breath and looks at her, as she looks up, he stares at the cross on her forehead and brushes his index finger gently over it, she looks at him quietly before grabbing his wrists and pulling his hand away.
"Just pretend it isn't there." She whispered, Erik couldn't, he knew this would be her first time, he would be the one whom had made her break her vows, throw everything she cared about away, and all for him, someone who didn't even love her, he loved another.
More than that, he thought of the pain and disapproval he would gain from Charles.
Could Charles' heart be big enough for him to forgive Erik if he went through with this? he closes his eyes tightly, he cannot bare the idea that Charles would be hurt again.
"Erik…" Joan says softly, Erik ignores her for a few moments.
"I cant do this." He said firmly, removing his arms from around her waist
"Its because of Charles isn't it?" she asked knowingly, Erik looks down and brushes a hand through his hair roughly.
"I already knew, I've seen it."
"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked.
"I hoped you would possibly, reconsider." She said and hugged herself looking down.
"I'm terribly sorry, I truly am, but I cant deny how I feel." He said and turned to leave the room.
"Erik," she said softly he paused for a moment. "be with Charles, don't be alone, he cares for you too, you know." She added
Erik made a face of surprise.
"I didn't expect a woman of the cloth to encourage this." Erik replied.
"We're not as bad as you'd think." She said and gave a half smile. "Besides, its not like either of you have taken vows or anything." She added and tapped the cross on her forehead, and gave a small laugh, Erik smiles.
"You're a special girl, Joan." He replied.
"I know, now go see your special boy, before its too late." She replied and motioned for him to leave.
Erik smiled back and bound from the room headed to one place, Charles' quarters, he had some making up to do.
Reviews are most welcome please! :)