I Care For You
It has been the third day they spent on the "Jolly Roger" and the third night has descended just a few hours ago and now it has to be 'round midnight. Ever since they are spending their days on the "Jolly Roger" on their journey to Neverland to find Henry it is hard for them to say what time it is exactly. The only thing Emma knows for sure is that Snow and Charming went to bed a few moments ago, as is Regina. She can't help but wonder how much the Evil Queen has changed since Henry has been taken away from their world. Snow says she is more like the woman who saved her life than the Evil Queen and Emma has to agree with her because it is true. Regina has hidden the good in her for such a long time that it has almost been buried too deep inside her to ever resurface again but after Hook freed her from Tamara and Greg the woman she once was resurfaces again and again. Most of the time just for a few moments but Snow is positive that Regina will become that woman again one day and she is pretty sure it won't take much more time.
There is just one other passenger and this passenger is Neal who stirs the ship. He has tried to talk to her many times but since she told him about her feelings - that she still is angry at him and that she hates him for his former actions and that she just allows him to linger in Henry's live because she knows all too well how much it sucks to grow up without one's parents - they haven't talked that much. After he got to know that Emma has been right about Tamara all along he tried to apologize but Emma has not forgiven him. Everyone - even her own mother - had thought that she suspected Tamara of being the "She" August had warned them about because they all had thought she still had feelings for her ex. She has doubted herself once or twice but as Hook showed up with an injured Regina she knew there were no feelings for Neal left. She knew she had been right about Tamara all along and finally no one doubted her anymore. But things have gotten out of control and Henry has been sucked into the portal Snow and David had open with the Blue Fairy's help to send Tamara and Greg to another world. Luckily they got to know that Henry and the other two had been separated on their journey but still Emma's kid was missing and her friends want to help her to find him again. That her parents would accompany her had never been a question, Neal and Regina were Henry's parents too so they had every right to come with her and for Hook - well they needed someone who knows the way to Neverland, didn't they? So the captain went with them too.
And by now they travel for three days and Neverland hasn't appeared anywhere in sight yet. Hook says they are on the right course but slowly but steady Emma doubts that. So she does the only thing she can do except pacing back and forth and thinking about all the terrible things that could happen to her son on Neverland - she walks to Hook's cabin. Innerly she arms herself for one of their typical exchanges but as she opens the captain's cabin's door all of her anger vanishes into thin air as she sees the pirate leaning at his table, his hand and hook placed on each side of the map he looks at. He frowns and he is so focused on the map that he doesn't notice Emma at first. Instead of clearing her throat Emma takes her time.
She walks into the cabin, letting all the impressions flood over her. It is not the first time she is in here but it is the first time she notices all of her surroundings. The cabin is huge, larger than most of the others. On the back of it there is a large window front where she can see the night sky and the horizon perfectly. In the left side of the room there is a large shelf in which all kinds of treasures and books are placed. On the right side there is a wooden table, some kind of desk on which many maps lay on, just like the one the pirate studies. There are many souvenirs or "conquests" how the captain himself would call them on the right wall, some necklaces or rings and so many other things - some of them she can't even name. A lamp hangs from the ceiling and fills the room with a dim light and right in the middle of the back of the room there is a bed. Not a bunk or anything like that, no there is a real bed standing in the captain's cabin. And it's not just a simple bed, it's a beautiful tester bed. As a child Emma has always dreamed about a bed like this and it is strange that Captain Hook of all people has a bed like that. Of course it is not one of those incredibly high tester beds and it only has two pillars which hold one white curtain but it still is a tester bed.
The blonde finds herself thinking about what the pirate did right into that bed, who many woman he had shared it with because she is perfectly sure that even if the woman he once loved has died he wasn't inactive at all. He doesn't seem to be the abstinent type at all, not when he throws all those flirty innuendoes at her. But as images of her in his bed appear in her mind she shakes her head and forces herself back to reality by taking another step into the room. She really shouldn't have sex fantasies about her and bloody fucking Hook - especially not right now. She has other matters to worry about and none of them should be her growing attraction towards the pirate. The planks creak underneath her feet as they hit the wood and the pirate looks up at her in surprise. As their eyes meet Emma can't help but feel a sudden rush of desire shooting through her veins.
"I didn't realize you are here, love," he says sounding slightly stunned at the fact that she managed to get that near to him without him noticing her before his facial expression turns into his usual smirk. "Otherwise I would have greeted you just as is right and proper - for a pirate." He asks winking and Emma rolls her eyes.
"What are you doing there?" she asks ignoring his innuendo and taking a step closer to the pirate's desk. "Are you finally going to admit this isn't the right course?" The pirate raises one eyebrow mockingly.
"I know the course perfectly. And-" He stops and looks her over suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. "I know some other courses even better." The savior closes her eyes but instead of the calming effect she wanted to get she suddenly has the image of Hook kissing his way down her bare upper body to the hem of her jea- This has to stop!
"Of course you do," she says sarcastically and the captain leans over the desk entering her personal space without asking and comes so close to her that she feels his breath brushing over her skin.
"I could prove you how well I know all the courses." Emma sighs seemingly annoyed and takes a step back to get out of his reach. The pirate sighs too and then he does something she really hasn't expected. He leans back and in one swift move he takes of his leather coat.
"Hook, what do you think you are doing?" she snaps and the pirate smirks.
"Am I making you uneasy love?" he replies smugly and Emma shakes her head.
"Not at all. Just why-" But he interrupts her.
"I need you to finally trust me." The blonde crosses her arms in front of her chest and raises one eyebrow.
"You don't have to undress yourself for that. I trust you, Hook. Otherwise I wouldn't be here." Slowly the captain walks around his desk until he stands right in front of her, mirroring her posture.
"You don't, love. Not fully. But I need you to trust me completely for what's coming towards us. Neverland is not the Enchanted Forest and if you want your lad back you should rely on me. I know the island better than anyone else. I know its secrets, its creatures. I can guide you if you just leave the lead to me." Emma shakes her head.
"He is my son. I will find him, no matter what."
"I don't want to stop you in anyway, darling. I want to help you," he says and her heart skips a painful beat.
"How can I be sure of that?" she asks quietly so he won't be able to hear that her voice trembles.
"I am here, aren't I?" he replies just as quietly as her. The serenity in his tone makes her heart skip another beat but that one isn't painful at all. It is full of hope.
"Prove me." The pirate nods as if he had expected her to say so.
"First of all, please call me Killian, love, than we can talk further," he says finding back to his smug flirty self.
"Prove me I can trust you..." She hesitates for a brief moment. "Killian." He nods and then his hand wanders to his black vest slowly unbuttoning it. "Stop!" she hisses, her hand covering his. "What do you think you are doing?" Killian lifts his hook until it touches the back of her hand softly.
"Proving myself," he replies, his voice only a whisper. And then, out of nowhere, he leans forward, his lips brush over hers just for the briefest of moments, then they are gone and the blonde suppresses a yearning sigh. "But I am doing it my way." A smile spreads on his lips but it's not one of his smug smiles. It is still a suggestive one, but it is genuine at the same time. He takes a step back, heading to his bed and Emma follows him without noticing she does so. "Have you ever heard of the saying that a man is the most vulnerable when he lies in front of a woman completely exposed?" The savior nods.
"I did. But actually exposed means with no secrets and not naked." This time Killian nods and then he opens his vest.
"I think those two kinds of exposed work perfectly hand in hand, don't you?" he says his voice playful, but then he becomes serious again. "I wanted to kill Rumpelstiltskin for the last three hundred years. But as I thought I killed him I wasn't happy either." He takes a few more steps back until he is on the edge of his bed. This time Emma remains where she is, staring at him startled.
"So you confess a secret and take off one piece of clothes?" she asks blinking a few times and Killian smirks smugly.
"Actually yes. And if you want you can join me. Trust is not one sided, love. And you have to make things up to me since you were the one who left me on that beanstalk and knocked me out with that thing. You should consider joining me... Otherwise I don't know what could happen to you in Neverland." She can tell that he is lying and that he won't harm her in anyway but she still nods and agrees to play this little game with him. It is a welcomed distraction and thinking of a little game that could lead into something even more distracting she is more than willing to join him. Especially as those images she sees of him and her when she closes her eyes don't seem to disappear any time soon. She takes of her jacket slowly, watching him all the time as she sees his eyes sparkle in amazement because she is part of this game now. Her jacket falls to the floor and their eyes meet only a second later.
"I am scared of trusting people because sooner or later they are going to hurt me," she says and Killian is surprised. He already knows that because she is like an open book to him but it impresses him that she admits this to herself.
"I could never hurt you," he says seriously. Emma eyes him suspiciously but he just shrugs and unbuttons his shirt. "That's why I let you win our fight back at Lake Nostros and why I came to you and not to your parents after I freed Regina. I knew you would hear me out because you knew that I couldn't harm you." The blonde swallows heart. It's the truth, she knows it, she can see it. She can feel it. The pirate shrugs out off his shirt and Emma freezes for a moment because she can't stop staring at his bare chest which makes Killian chuckle. "If you want we can skip this part and continue with more enjoyable activities on the bed, maybe with you on your back?" he prompts referring to their fight at the lake.
"And you show me your amazing sword skills?" she asks mockingly and Killian smirks at her smugly.
"Well, yes, love." She laughs, then grabs the hem of her top and pulls it over her head. This time Killian is the one who stares at her for quite a while in pure amazement. But then he looks up at her, not without eyeing her bra suspiciously for a brief moment. "Your secret?"
"I haven't had sex for a year," she says all serious and Killian laughs, at least until he sees her facial expression.
"You're serious?" She nods and he shakes his head, sitting down on his bed and watching Emma as she comes closer to his bed. "How can a marvelous woman like you can't-" She cuts him off.
"Don't say something like that," she murmurs and then she looks in his eyes again. "Actually I didn't have that much time. I have been pretty occupied by being the savior and saving the world, you know?" The captain raises one eyebrow.
"Well I guess it is about time then," he says and takes of both of his boots. For a moment he stops and stares at his hand and hook and as he looks back at Emma she knows this won't be about sex. "I thought after I killed Rumpelstiltskin my life purpose would be fulfilled but actually all I felt was emptiness. I had nothing and no one to look forward to. I am scared that no one cares for me," he finishes his confession and Emma can't help herself. Quickly she unbuttons her jeans and takes it off together with her shoes. The pirate raises one eyebrow and Emma smiles at him sheepishly.
"It's a big one," she explains and he nods slowly and curiously. The blonde takes in a deep breath and runs her fingers through her hair. "Okay..." she murmurs looking on the floor. "Back on the beanstalk, in the hospital and even in New York I cared for you." She looks up again and her blue-green eyes meet his blue ones." Don't think that nobody cares about you, because I do. I care for you." Silence fills the room, their eyes are still locked and Emma curses herself for telling him that she cares, at least she does until his hand and hook wrap around her waist and Killian raises himself on his feet again so he stands right in front of her. She has no time to react because his lips capture hers just a heartbeat later. His lips feel warm and soft on hers but at the same time they are hard and demanding. There is nothing sweet or innocent in that kiss. This kiss is the fallout of something they both suppressed so long that now, that it breaks through the surface, it can't be held back. Desire rushes through their veins, want fills them up to the brim. There is no room for tenderness, no room for sweetness. This is raw and it is rough. Killian leans back and falls on the bed, taking Emma with him. Soon she lies underneath him, panting, his lips spreading open-mouth kisses over her neck and when he reaches her pulse point he sucks on it lightly, he makes her moan. Her hands wander down his back, slip into his pants and move to the front of them, causing the pirate to groan. She pushes the leather down his legs and they are of in a matter of seconds and her hands grasp him, feeling him hard and pulsing in her fingers and she starts rubbing him just as his one hand finds the sensitive bundle of nerves between her legs. They both moan at the same time and there is no time for thinking at all. Emma needs him inside her now and he needs to be inside her now, so he rips of her slip and enters her with one quick and hard thrust. She yells his name as he fills her completely and she feels so incredibly good. She digs her fingers into his hair, pulling his lips back onto hers and they kiss while Killian takes her with hard and deep thrusts. No time for sweetness, no time for anything but unbridled desire, there is just the need that they both feel. They need it each other like they need air to breathe. Right now maybe it seems as if it would be just sex but deep down inside them, they both now it is much more. They come undone almost at the same time, Killian falls over the edge just a moment before Emma does and afterwards they are both breathless, panting to get air in their lungs. They lay there for about five minutes, each one of them waiting for the other to get up and get out of the room as quickly as possible but neither of them does.
"You care for me?" he asks six minutes later, still panting. Emma sits up and for a moment he is scared she is about to get up and out of the room but instead she just takes of her bra and huddles into him. He wraps his arms around her and holds her close to his heart.
"I do," she murmurs and fails as she tries to suppress a yawn. She hasn't slept for more than three hours in the last few days and now that she and Killian had this incredibly thing she is just exhausted. "Even though I shouldn't..." she adds and her eyes fall close. It doesn't take a minute for her to fall asleep and the pirate watches the peacefully sleeping woman inside his arms with something that in his eyes that hasn't been there since he had been with Milah. Emma has changed him. She has made him realize that there is more than revenge, that there is at least one thing, one person he can live for. And that person is her. He likes her. And maybe he is about to fall for her too. He grabs one of the blankets that has fallen on the floor earlier and covers both of them with it. A few minutes later he is asleep too.
The next morning arrives much too early. The sunbeams wake both of them up because they seem so unnaturally bright. They are still huddled together and the first thing Killian does is pressing a light kiss on her forehead which makes her smile at him.
"Love, we are there," he whispers and she looks at him confused until he nods in the direction of the great window at the head part of the bed. The blonde looks out at the window and sits up immediately. Killian sits up too and follows her gaze.
"Is this Neverland?" she asks and she feels how he nods and then how he places a soft kiss on her shoulder.
"It is," he replies and Emma turns her head to him to kiss him softly. She will find Henry and bring him back home. But she won't have to do it alone. She will do it with him. They will do it together, as a team. They wouldn't leave each other behind again, no matter what. Because they cared for each other.
A/N: I was inspired by what Hook said to Regina in 2x20 "The Evil Queen". "Do you ever wonder if this constant pursuit for your revenge is the reason why we have no one who cares for us?" Because "no one cares for us" if you knew, Killian, if you only knew... Well, I hope you had fun reading this because I had fun writing it, so tell me what you think?