Disclaimer: I don't own Ares, Xena or Gabby... The poor SO's belong to me though. A LOT of Shop Owner's (SO's) suffered irreplaceable damage to themselves and/or their shops.
Rated: PG-13 for a pissed off GOW.
Skit #1: Ares In A Flower shop
By Delenn
Ares materializes in the middle of Athens finest flower shop, consequently scaring the majority of its customers. To shop owner: Hey, would you have any flowers?
Shop owner, looking extremely annoyed, but answering the GOW's call cause all his other customers have fled the shop: This is a flower shop (whispering) idiot!
Ares, agitated: I know that you moron... You better not have just insulted the God of War!
Shop owner: Yeah, I did, whatcha gonna do about it? I'm the only decent florist this millennium.
Ares, now extremely annoyed: Fine! As I was saying, I'm looking for flowers--
Shop owner, interrupting: Really? I never would have thought! Ya know, you being in a flower shop and all.
Ares, trying not to blast the shop owner: Look, bud, this is the 15th shop I've been to already, and most of them had a lot nicer flowers then you.
Shop owner, a little nervous: Then, why are you here?
Ares, a superior smirk on his face: Cause they were annoying and I destroyed their shops.
Shop owner, pale faced: Oh. How can I help you, sir?
Ares: As I was saying... I need some flowers for my-- ah -- well my... girlfriend...
Shop owner, doubled over in laughter: The great god of war wants to buy flowers for his (laugh) GIRLFRIEND!? Ooh that's too priceless!
Ares, getting angry rapidly: I'm WARNING you bud!
Shop owner, wiping tears of mirth from his face: Yeah, right, right, sorry. So (picks up a bouquet of *pink* irises) How about these fine flowers? Perfect to show your romantic side to--
Ares, interrupting extremely irritated: I DON'T HAVE A ROMANTIC SIDE!!
Shop owner: Right, sorry. Anyway, these are sure to appeal to HER romantic side.
Ares, shaking his head: She doesn't have a romantic side either ... she's a warrior.
SO, under his breath: Of course, she would be. (Regular tone of voice) Right, my mistake--
Ares: You seem to be making a lot of those!
SO: Anyway (picks up a bouquet of *yellow* daisies) these would be perfect for the more rugged woman...
Ares, firmly: No.
Some hours later:
SO, flowers strewn on the floor, is holding up a bouquet of black roses: This?
Ares, considering: Well, I suppose, if that's all you have.
SO gratefully hands him the bouquet: Pleasure doing business with you, that comes to--
Ares, seemingly shocked: You expect me to pay?
SO: Uh, yeah?
Ares leaves the shop in a flash of blue: (echoing in the wind) Pay, yeah right!
SO angrily looks to the sky: You COULD have at LEAST cleaned up!
Angry voice of Ares, minus the GOW himself: Don't test me, little man!
The End
Rated: PG-13 for a pissed off GOW.
By Delenn
Ares materializes in the middle of Athens finest flower shop, consequently scaring the majority of its customers. To shop owner: Hey, would you have any flowers?
Shop owner, looking extremely annoyed, but answering the GOW's call cause all his other customers have fled the shop: This is a flower shop (whispering) idiot!
Ares, agitated: I know that you moron... You better not have just insulted the God of War!
Shop owner: Yeah, I did, whatcha gonna do about it? I'm the only decent florist this millennium.
Ares, now extremely annoyed: Fine! As I was saying, I'm looking for flowers--
Shop owner, interrupting: Really? I never would have thought! Ya know, you being in a flower shop and all.
Ares, trying not to blast the shop owner: Look, bud, this is the 15th shop I've been to already, and most of them had a lot nicer flowers then you.
Shop owner, a little nervous: Then, why are you here?
Ares, a superior smirk on his face: Cause they were annoying and I destroyed their shops.
Shop owner, pale faced: Oh. How can I help you, sir?
Ares: As I was saying... I need some flowers for my-- ah -- well my... girlfriend...
Shop owner, doubled over in laughter: The great god of war wants to buy flowers for his (laugh) GIRLFRIEND!? Ooh that's too priceless!
Ares, getting angry rapidly: I'm WARNING you bud!
Shop owner, wiping tears of mirth from his face: Yeah, right, right, sorry. So (picks up a bouquet of *pink* irises) How about these fine flowers? Perfect to show your romantic side to--
Ares, interrupting extremely irritated: I DON'T HAVE A ROMANTIC SIDE!!
Shop owner: Right, sorry. Anyway, these are sure to appeal to HER romantic side.
Ares, shaking his head: She doesn't have a romantic side either ... she's a warrior.
SO, under his breath: Of course, she would be. (Regular tone of voice) Right, my mistake--
Ares: You seem to be making a lot of those!
SO: Anyway (picks up a bouquet of *yellow* daisies) these would be perfect for the more rugged woman...
Ares, firmly: No.
SO, flowers strewn on the floor, is holding up a bouquet of black roses: This?
Ares, considering: Well, I suppose, if that's all you have.
SO gratefully hands him the bouquet: Pleasure doing business with you, that comes to--
Ares, seemingly shocked: You expect me to pay?
SO: Uh, yeah?
Ares leaves the shop in a flash of blue: (echoing in the wind) Pay, yeah right!
SO angrily looks to the sky: You COULD have at LEAST cleaned up!
Angry voice of Ares, minus the GOW himself: Don't test me, little man!