Title: Thanks for the Memories
Author: Ann
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Clois
Disclaimer: Overall idea and plot is mine. The characters? Not mine.
Summary: Clark, about to go off on his training, says one last goodbye to Smallville High School.
Author note: This fic is based on the song "Thnks fr th Mmrs" by Fall Out Boy. I was listening to it for about the 208th time, and this idea suddenly struck me, and I had to get it out. This also breaks my six month long hiatus/writer's block, so I'm very happy about that. :)
Been looking forward to the future
But my eyesight is going bad
In this crystal ball
It's always cloudy except for
When you look into the past
One night stand
One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great
He tastes like you only sweeter
Clark stood in front of Smallville High School silently, his hands shoved in his pockets as he studied the large brick building. The structure was deserted despite being the middle of the day, all of its students avoiding it like the plague for the summer. But yet, Clark was drawn there even though he had not been a student there for years.
As he stood there, his gaze slowly scanning the building, he smiled slightly at the memories. Life was certainly simpler back then, even with all the meteor freaks and the constant relationship drama. There were no questionable marriages or human experiments, no changing feelings that scared the crap out of him. Everything was constant, from the amount of homework that was assigned to the on-again, off-again relationship he had with Lana.
His eyes fell upon the office of the Torch, his vision peeling back the brick walls as if they weren't even there. The previously forgotten memories of his short and mundane stint as a journalist rushed to the forefront of his mind. Surprisingly enough, instead of feeling indifference to that particular venture, he felt a pang of longing. Clark suddenly wanted to write another story about gym mats. Well, not necessarily gym mats, but something that would make a difference in the world.
Chloe has a lot to speak for, Clark contemplated. The spirited blonde had already gotten her cousin Lois bitten with the journalism bug, and now it seemed that Clark had been afflicted too. He had noticed recently that he started to write more and more in the journal Lois gave to him for his eighteenth birthday, detailing about the events happening around Smallville and the occasional ventures he went on with the Justice League. And the chance stakeouts Chloe had dragged him on- he realized that he actually enjoyed them, instead of dreading them as he previously thought he would.
Clark's gaze drifted through the school and landed on the football field, home of his short-lived career as star quarterback. Throughout his life, he always thought being on the football team would make you normal. He had wanted to follow in his father's footsteps and be the quarterback, to finally fit in with the rest of his peers. Maybe being the quarterback will be the perfect spot for me, he had thought.
Looking back, he had enjoyed being quarterback, but it never fulfilled him like he thought it would. He thought that everything would just click as soon as he got out onto the field with the pads and helmet on, but instead everything got complicated and questionable, from steroid accusations to the unfair advantage he would have over the other players. Clark had never really been able to actually enjoy the game, just go through the motions of enjoying it.
Focusing his vision back on the front of the school, Clark let the river of memories flow over him, until they stopped at his hectic graduation- the day of the second meteor shower. That day, too many things had happened- from Kryptonian criminals invading Smallville looking for him, to Lana killing Genevieve Teague. He had not known about the latter until just recently, when he finally remembered to ask Lana about the blood on the stone.
That surprised him- and he was surprised that he was surprised. This past year Lana had done many despicable acts, acts that he would never forgive himself if he did but somehow found it within himself to forgive Lana, but he had never thought she had gone as far as killing someone. True, she was possessed at the time, but it did not change the fact that it was her hands that plunged the stone into the woman's heart. He suddenly saw Lana in a whole new light, as if the clouds have lifted.
Throughout his life, he had always thought Lana was The One. Clark thought he was going to marry her and have children with her. This vision of the future had caused the present to be cloudy, Clark not wanting to see anything that would mar his idea of a perfect life. But after learning that Lana had crossed the threshold- the one separating life and death- the fog surrounding her image cleared, and he was suddenly confronted with someone who he didn't know.
He had tried one last time at their relationship, without his secret standing between them, but it just didn't work. The absence of his secrets just magnified Lana's own hidden ventures, revealing the double standards that Lana believed strongly in. They finally broke up for the last time a few weeks ago, after Lana had tried to guilt-trip him into telling her all about the Justice League. Their secrets weren't his to tell, and her pressuring on top of his recent revelations about her was the straw that broke the camel's back.
And with that final action, the burden of his future was finally lifted off of his shoulders. He no longer had any conflicting duties he felt he had to do- just the training he had promised Jor-El those three years ago. Without Lana looming above him, Clark was finally able to accept leaving Smallville for something completely unknown.
That is why he was standing in front of Smallville High School in the middle of the summer.
Clark may have physically graduated from high school three years ago, but that connection with it had never been broken. He was stuck in a world that revolved around Lana Lang the cheerleader and situations that could have been taken from any teen drama. And now, about to go off to his training, with world travels unquestionably following, he felt the need to sever the ties to the school.
Suddenly, the need to stand up straight took hold, and Clark's body suddenly took a strong posture, that of a man. He took his hands outs of his pockets and crossed his arms over his chest, taking an authoritative stance. Somehow, that just felt right- the commanding position combined with a slight smirk to soften it out. It felt different, and good.
The sudden burst of confidence gained by his posture was the final key to releasing his school days. As he stared at the school, he no longer felt a longing for simpler days, but rather just a gratitude for it allowing him to go through that period of his life relatively unscathed. A thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great.
He picked up his bag laying next to his feet- he had one last stop before leaving Smallville for his training. Clark had said his farewells to everyone easily enough- there were some tears, some sobs, but everyone accepted that he needed to go. They knew why, they could understand. Even Shelby, his dog, understood on some basic level that he had to leave. But there was one person he had not said goodbye to, and that was the one person who was least likely to understand.
Lois Lane.
She was the only kept out of the Kryptonian loop. Not because she wasn't a great friend, but it didn't feel right to tell her just yet. He trusted his gut about that- if anything was to be learned from his disastrous relationship with Lana, it was to trust his gut about who to trust. He also enjoyed that feeling of always having to prove himself to her, instead of trying to meet expectations. Lois was the only person he knew that didn't put him up on a perfect pedestal- even his mother expected him to always do the right thing. Lois made him strive to do great things, instead of trying to fit in. He didn't want that feeling to disappear.
Also, Lois scared the crap out of him.
It wasn't Lois herself, although she could be quite demonic without her daily dose of caffeine, but the strong feelings he had developed for her seemingly overnight. Lois scared the crap out of him because he had fallen for her, hard, and he knew that Lois could just take away all of his newfound hopes and dreams. His dreams of a life where he didn't have to hide who he was, where Lois accepted him- ALL of him- and loved him because of what he was.
Clark super-sped towards Metropolis, where Lois had recently started renting an apartment. She did not want to live under Lex Luthor's sphere of control after his arrest, and found a rather cheap apartment in the borough of New Troy that she shared with Chloe. Clark had a sneaking suspicion that Chloe did not spend many nights there, judging by how many things Chloe seemed to leave over at Jimmy's. But it was none of his business, so he left his suspicions in his head.
He stopped suddenly in front of Lois's building, eyeing the door. All of the sudden he no longer had an iota of an idea of what to say, of whether he could even stand to say goodbye to her. It seemed a whole lot easier to just leave without saying goodbye, without having to face her one last time. But he knew she wouldn't appreciate that, and it might just erase all the progress he had made of breaking down her walls. So he squared his shoulders and started the slow climb up to the ninth floor.
When, exactly, had he fallen for Lois? Clark didn't even know the answer. He always knew there was a physical attraction there, since the first moment they met. He always partook in the harmless flirting banter they had between them, the type of flirting that never went anywhere or led to anything. Clark had just shrugged it off, excusing it as one of the many strange things in his and Lois's odd friendship.
But then the Green Arrow incident happened, the catalyst to a windfall of feelings that were just waiting to be released. He had dressed up in the green leather outfit as a favor to Oliver, his duties consisting of nothing more than showing up, saving Lois, and proving that Oliver was not the Green Arrow. But then Lois had kissed him- him!- and all of the sudden, his brain was occupied with thoughts of kissing her again, with no pretences. Not even Lana had had this effect on him.
The Valentine's Day incident just fueled the fire of his growing attraction towards Lois. He had never considered showing Lana his powers while on RedK, but Lois somehow made him want to measure up to and then surpass Oliver- if that was by showing her his powers, than so be it. He had never considered having sex with Lana while on RedK either, but there he was- just about to partake in that sacred act until he saw that damned invitation.
Even though neither of them were in their right minds during that period of time, it proved to Clark one thing that he believed to be above all else- Lois would accept him if and when she found out about his powers, and wouldn't be freaked out by them.
Clark pushed those feelings to the back of his head during the following months, decided to try and save his failed relationship with Lana instead. But when they finally got back together, he no longer felt entirely happy with the situation. His thoughts were filled with many other things, Lois being one of the more reoccurring ones. It was during the rocky end of that one last try with Lana did Clark believe that he fell for Lois- adding yet another reason to a long list for why he should break up with Lana.
He arrived at the door finally, and then tentatively knocked on it. He knew Lois was home- today was her day off, and she explicitly told him that she was using that day to catch up on her soaps and then maybe watch a few Die Hard movies. He was even invited to join her, but he declined. Clark knew there was no way he was going to be able to leave if he spent the entire day with her first.
"Clark?" Lois's head peeked through the doorway, her chain still in place.
"Hey, Lois. Mind if I come in?" Clark said nervously, fidgeting with his bag.
"Um, sure," Lois answered, then shut the door momentarily as she took off the chain so she could allow Clark in. "Come on in."
Clark followed her inside; noticing a half-full carton of ice cream sitting on the coffee table, with Die Hard paused on the TV.
"So, have you finished with your soaps?" Clark asked, trying to make small talk before dropping the huge "I'm leaving" bomb on her.
"No, I just felt the need to watch stuff blow up," Lois answered, eying the bag. "So, why are you here? I thought you had stuff to do."
He smiled weakly. "I just came over because… Because I needed to tell you something."
Lois carefully studied him. "Is this a sit-down tell-you-something? Or would it be okay if I stand? Because right now, it's not looking to be like good news."
"Its not," Clark stated flatly. "I just came over here to tell you… Goodbye."
Clark said the word, but it somehow just didn't feel right. He knew he was leaving for a long time, and that he wouldn't probably see her for another few years, but goodbye didn't seem like the word to use. He felt that this was just a small step in their lives, and that he would never truly leave. Until we meet again seemed more appropriate.
"Goodbye?" Lois asked, once again eyeing the bag. "What do you mean goodbye?"
He sighed and looked down, all confidence gained from his release of his school lost. "I'm leaving to go travel for a few years."
"I seriously doubt that a sudden bout of wanderlust has grabbed hold of you, Clark Kent, the proverbial son of Smallville," Lois said. "Come on, its Lana, isn't it?"
He shook his head no. "Lana has nothing to do with it. I'm over her- I have been for a while now."
She looked away for a moment, and then her gaze fell back onto his head. "Are you really going, Clark?"
Clark looked back up, and met her eyes with an unwavering gaze. "I'm really going, Lois," he said softly.
A small look of panic appeared in her eyes. "Well, we can still write to each other, right?" she said nervously.
He shook his head sadly. "Most of the time I'll be incommunicado, and I'm going to be traveling around too much to set up any permanent address."
Lois's eyes hardened. "Why now, Smallville? Why are you leaving?"
"I need to. I need to find myself, and before now, I wasn't ready. Now I am," he explained.
Lois nodded, her brown ponytail bobbing with her head. "Will you… Will you come back, Clark?"
"Yes, Lois. I'll be back," Clark confirmed, making a small amount of relief appear on her face.
"Good."
The two stood in silence, Clark nervously fiddling with his bag while Lois looked down, studying her socks. All of their normal easiness they had between them was gone, replaced by an awkwardness and tension that filled the room.
"Lois—"
"Clark—"
They both laughed nervously, chuckling at the fact that they started talking at the same time.
"Lois, I promise, I'll see you as soon as I get back," Clark assured her, and she nodded.
"Thanks Clark," she bit her lip, as she thought something over in her head. "Clark?"
"Yeah?"
"You know, I've never told you this, but… You're my best friend. Possibly the best friend I've ever had," Lois started. "And… I just want to thank you."
"Really, Lois, there's no need to thank me," Clark said, gazing affectionately at Lois.
Lois nodded. "Okay, but I still want to do this."
She tentatively took a step forward and lifted her head, tilting it slightly. Leaning forward, her lips met his in a light kiss, a kiss between good friends.
Clark dropped his bag in surprise, making a soft thump on the floor. His lips instantly responded to hers, a muscle memory that he was sure he would never forget. The light kiss slowly became more passionate, and could no longer be mistaken for one between friends- this was one that was reserved for those who cared deeply about each other.
Lois's fingers quickly threaded themselves into his dark, coarse hair, pulling him even closer to her. Clark's hands wrapped around her waist, hugging her body. Their lips fought for dominance- hers attacking and demanding while his were patient but strong. Her lips parted slightly, inviting his tongue into her mouth. He happily obliged, tasting a wonderful combination of chocolate and the uniqueness that is Lois Lane.
Clark kissed harder, his force almost a bruising one, causing Lois to moan deep in her throat. She bit his bottom lip lightly, a love nip that just spurned Clark on even more. His tongue lightly caressed hers, slowly moving as if in an intricate and sensual dance.
They eventually drew back, panting slightly from the exertion.
"Wow," Clark breathed, his arms still wrapped around Lois.
"Yeah," Lois agreed, her eyes shining and her lips slightly swollen and red.
Lois laid her head onto Clark's shoulder, and brought her arms around his body, hugging him tightly.
"I hope you come back soon."
"As soon as I can," Clark promised, already feeling his heart ache for leaving her.
They slowly drew apart, watching each other intently. Clark leaned over to pick up his bag, and walked to the door. He opened the door, and then looked back at Lois. She nodded silently, to which he returned a nod. Then he left, closing the door behind him before he began his slow descent on the stairs.
There was no need for him to try and release his bond to Lois, he had realized as he said goodbye. She was not just in one chapter of his life, but part of the entire story. He did not have to thank her for the memories they shared, because Clark had a feeling that many more were coming. Memories that would be the best that he has ever had. Memories that will be great.