Your name is Rose Lalonde and, like every year since you turned eight, are all alone on Christmas Eve.
The presents are wrapped up and under the tree, some of them to your mother from 'Santa', and the rest were ones you bought with her credit card for yourself. God forbid she even realizes, but it was natural. Cookies you made and some eggnog sit next to you as you curl up on the couch, the only light in the room comes from the multi-coloured lights and your laptop screen.
You pull the pink blanket around yourself more, smiling as you pester your chums.
There was your best friend from school, Kanaya Maryam, who was getting all flustered over herself as she gossiped about her older sister coming home for the holidays. She looked up to her sister, who was a superstar in her eyes.
You just smile and chat with her, or rather, watch her babble about how amazing Porrim is. You can almost imagine her bundled up in her sister's old green quilt she made and fiddling with her hair as she bit her lip into oblivion. You laugh to yourself, telling her to relax and that everything was going to be perfectly fine, unless she didn't go to sleep. Reluctantly, she accepted your advice and wished you good night before logging off.
Two other chat boxes popped up, your other friends, John Egbert and Dave Strider, asking if you were pumped about tomorrow. You sigh as you respond to them, asking them why they even bothered to be on separate accounts if you knew they were at John's house, eating cookies made by his dad and drinking hot chocolate. They remained silent for a bit, then Dave's account showed that he had logged off and John answered you, telling you that Dave had flailed at being caught. Then, it was obvious that Dave took John's laptop to pester you on his account as he called you a 'fun-spoiling she-demon'. You only smiled at this, reading Dave's annoyed text until the account stopped spamming you, then eventually John apologized for Dave.
Then he asked you if she had messaged you yet.
Your face lit up red as you thought about long dark hair, bright green eyes, that adorable over bite.
You grabbed the nearest pillow and buried your face in it as you think about a little while into you knowing John Egbert. You had been friends since kindergarten and in fourth grade, he gave you a paper with a name and address on it.
'This is my cousin from Australia. She's awesome and I think you both will be great friends if you become pen pals!'
You had simply laughed and thanked him for it. Even though you never really had plans to actually do it, you hardly had any friends but John. Everyone else was just a bunch of spoiled brats, so you took the time to write out a really nice letter and send it.
Over time, you had sent letter after letter back and forth to each other. Then, you both got pesterchum accounts and messaged each other.
You knew everything about her and she knew everything about you.
Well, almost everything.
What she didn't know was that you had the biggest heart-throbbing crush on her that just wouldn't stop.
You slowly set down the pillow and answered John with a upset 'no'.
He, being the one to know you the longest, had figured out your crush within a few days. None of your other friends knew except for the one most oblivious friend you had. You would sit there in wonder sometimes, just pondering how his brain worked.
He could figure out you having a crush on his cousin after you telling him that you might like someone while biting your lip. However, when Dave was goo-goo-eyed over him, telling him that he looked adorable without his glasses on and other flirty stuff, he had no fucking clue until Dave made a dramatic thing on Valentine's day. He, in the snow and sleet, appeared at John's house, fell on his knees in the sight of John's window, and shouted out that he wanted John to just be his damn boyfriend already. Then, and only then, John realized and accepted.
As you sat there, you realized that his replies were getting shorter and more spread apart. Then, he said something along the lines of, 'Dave. kissing. good luck rose', and logged off.
You sighed and stared at your computer, willing her to pop online and message you, but it was failing. Groaning in angst, you puffed out your cheeks and flopped backwards, your eyes shutting as you waited for the grandfather clock to ding midnight.
Another minute or so goes by and you hear a soft blip from your computer, signalling a chum pestered you. You peek an eye open and look to see who it is and you feel your chest tighten.
She was online.
And she messaged you.
You bit your lip and jolted up.
She had asked you if you were awake or not, and you answered that you were. The smile on your lips grew until it almost hurt. She called you a silly girl for being awake at this hour, but then told you that she was glad to catch you before you fell asleep. A minute ticked by and the clock chimed, signalling that it was midnight.
She told you to make a Christmas wish, while it was still midnight on the nose.
You tsked, not believing in wishes to work, but bit your lip again, thinking it couldn't really hurt. You closed your eyes and wished in your head, wishing for her to love you back in some way, hopefully the way you loved her.
You heard another minute tick by and opened your eyes.
She asked you if you wished and you replied that you did. She told you that she was glad you did. You both chatted for a little bit, then she informed you that she had to go and you felt your heart become almost sad. You wanted to talk more. You didn't want her to go. You just really wanted to keep talking until you passed out but, you slowly said that it was fine and that you would talk to her later.
She said good bye and-
Oh god.
Was that…?
She sent you a heart icon.
Your heart started to pound.
She never sent you one of those before.
You bit your lip harder and slowly, shakily said good bye as well, debating if you should put a heart or not. You swallowed hard and put a heart, then sent it. You watched as she went offline. Your heart was fluttering painfully against your chest, you shut your computer, fidgeting as you pulled the blanket tight around yourself.
Did she like you back?
Or was it just something else?
Or was it-?
The front door opened and your mother stumbled in.
She shut the door and hung up her stuff, throwing her shoes so you could see that the heel snapped off of one of them, explaining her odd walking. She groaned loudly, fixing her dress as she somewhat limped into the livingroom.
You pretended you were asleep as she moved closer.
She looked at you and tucked you in, mumbling drunken nonsense before stopping and looking down at you. She then pressed a kiss to your head and mumbled that she loved you before leaving the room.
You sighed and slumped.
You knew your mother loved you. She was just that easy to read.
But, why couldn't your crush be the same way? Why was it so hard to tell? You almost wanted to pull your hair out, she was so pretty, so perfect, so brave and adventurous, and she just made your heart pound and your head spin.
You put the computer under the couch so you wouldn't step on it before you looked up at the ceiling.
Your name is Rose Lalonde and, like every other day of the year, you were confused by the actions of your crush, Jade Harley.