Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. No Gabby bashing intended whatsoever! Simply a skit comedy... You don't like it? Tough luck. Just don't read it if you're gonna be that way!
Rated: PG-13 'cause of 'sexual innuendo's'
Summary: What would have happened if Ares and Xena had stayed at that damn farm?
Skit #Unknown: Greek Fire
By ~Delenn~
Xena running into the farm: Ares, I found Greek fire!!
Ares, obviously thinking through millennia of information: Huh, what?
Xena, quickly losing her patience: Greek fire! Gods, Ares, you have to know what that is!
Ares: Give me a hint honey bunny?
Xena, covering her hands with her ears: Ack, not the Honey Bunny stuff again! I told you never to call me that!
Ares: I know; I still have a pretty good memory, my dear honey bunny.
Xena: Think G-R-E-E-K and F-I-R-E... m'kay sweet cheeks?
Ares, shudders: Xena I don't remember! Ok, let's call a truce? No Honey Bunny, no Sweet Cheeks?
Xena, grabbing his hand and shaking it: Deal. (Pauses, obviously thinking of the best way to harass Ares) You don't remember? Hah, I win my bet with Gabrielle; you're losing your memory first!
Ares, irritably: I am NOT losing my memory! I'm EONS old; you can't expect me to remember every little detail... Besides, I'm not the one with a gray hair. (He smirks superiorly)
Xena, getting angry: We agreed never to mention that! It was ONE hair!
Ares, trying to calm her down: Ok, ok, now about the Greek fire?
Xena, absently reaching for his hand again: Come with me.
Ares follows her out the door, where she announces: Close your eyes and walk forward!
Ares warily does as he as told... that is until he feels something wet and slimy coming down on him. Jumping back he exclaims: XENA! UGH!
Xena chuckles in the background, that is before Ares grabs her and wrestles her back over to the 'Greek fire': Take that, my dear.... Yeah I remember now, THAT Greek fire... I knew I remembered!
Xena just rolls her eyes and flips him over: You know I HATE oily clothes!
Ares, shrugging as best he can with her on top of him: News to me!
Xena, superiorly: Now you know!
Gabrielle, angrily storming around the house and then taking in the ex-god of war with the ex-warrior princess sitting on top of him, both covered from head to toe in oil. Gabrielle sighs and turns back the way she came, muttering: I DON'T want to know... Damn old ex-warriors with weird habits!
Xena angrily mutters: We aren't old... When did she start muttering 'damn old ex-warriors with weird habits' instead of 'damn warriors with kinky habits'!
Ares nods: I think we're offended... Rich and probably old, but offended.
Xena gets up: Screw you.
Ares chuckles deeply: Why, my dear, I didn't know you were still so kinky.
Xena, pushing him face down in the oil: You ain't getting any, calling us old!
Two weeks later:
Ares: So, Xena, do you like the tennis court?
Xena, serving an ace: Yes, only cause I can kick your ex-Olympian ass though.
Ares: That's cause of your... *ahem* outfit.
Xena: I'm still mad at you.
Ares: Okay...
Xena, suddenly stopping the game: Let's go inside and warm up.
Ares, confused: But Xena, it's really hot out here--- Oh, riiight!
Gabrielle, once again coming around the bend, just in time to see the two ex-warriors go into the house, already making out: Me and my timing... Oh well, maybe I'll write a story for a while. (She shrugs and sits down)
The End
Rated: PG-13 'cause of 'sexual innuendo's'
Summary: What would have happened if Ares and Xena had stayed at that damn farm?
By ~Delenn~
Xena running into the farm: Ares, I found Greek fire!!
Ares, obviously thinking through millennia of information: Huh, what?
Xena, quickly losing her patience: Greek fire! Gods, Ares, you have to know what that is!
Ares: Give me a hint honey bunny?
Xena, covering her hands with her ears: Ack, not the Honey Bunny stuff again! I told you never to call me that!
Ares: I know; I still have a pretty good memory, my dear honey bunny.
Xena: Think G-R-E-E-K and F-I-R-E... m'kay sweet cheeks?
Ares, shudders: Xena I don't remember! Ok, let's call a truce? No Honey Bunny, no Sweet Cheeks?
Xena, grabbing his hand and shaking it: Deal. (Pauses, obviously thinking of the best way to harass Ares) You don't remember? Hah, I win my bet with Gabrielle; you're losing your memory first!
Ares, irritably: I am NOT losing my memory! I'm EONS old; you can't expect me to remember every little detail... Besides, I'm not the one with a gray hair. (He smirks superiorly)
Xena, getting angry: We agreed never to mention that! It was ONE hair!
Ares, trying to calm her down: Ok, ok, now about the Greek fire?
Xena, absently reaching for his hand again: Come with me.
Ares follows her out the door, where she announces: Close your eyes and walk forward!
Ares warily does as he as told... that is until he feels something wet and slimy coming down on him. Jumping back he exclaims: XENA! UGH!
Xena chuckles in the background, that is before Ares grabs her and wrestles her back over to the 'Greek fire': Take that, my dear.... Yeah I remember now, THAT Greek fire... I knew I remembered!
Xena just rolls her eyes and flips him over: You know I HATE oily clothes!
Ares, shrugging as best he can with her on top of him: News to me!
Xena, superiorly: Now you know!
Gabrielle, angrily storming around the house and then taking in the ex-god of war with the ex-warrior princess sitting on top of him, both covered from head to toe in oil. Gabrielle sighs and turns back the way she came, muttering: I DON'T want to know... Damn old ex-warriors with weird habits!
Xena angrily mutters: We aren't old... When did she start muttering 'damn old ex-warriors with weird habits' instead of 'damn warriors with kinky habits'!
Ares nods: I think we're offended... Rich and probably old, but offended.
Xena gets up: Screw you.
Ares chuckles deeply: Why, my dear, I didn't know you were still so kinky.
Xena, pushing him face down in the oil: You ain't getting any, calling us old!
Ares: So, Xena, do you like the tennis court?
Xena, serving an ace: Yes, only cause I can kick your ex-Olympian ass though.
Ares: That's cause of your... *ahem* outfit.
Xena: I'm still mad at you.
Ares: Okay...
Xena, suddenly stopping the game: Let's go inside and warm up.
Ares, confused: But Xena, it's really hot out here--- Oh, riiight!
Gabrielle, once again coming around the bend, just in time to see the two ex-warriors go into the house, already making out: Me and my timing... Oh well, maybe I'll write a story for a while. (She shrugs and sits down)