I highly suggest watching "EHarmony Loves Cats" on Youtube staring Debbie before reading this.
Light ignites over the previously blank screen and the vision of a whiskery man appears. His bright smile cracks with nervous excitement. A well groomed hand pulls at the feathery cloak as the man slouches into a comfortable position. It is obvious by wayward jostles that the camera is on his knees.
"Hello my name is Anders. And this is my first attempt at an EAppostate video and - oops!" The screen slips, Anders reaching for it in time. He offers a bemused grin at the screen and tucks honey blond bangs behind an ear. "This is my first time at free-mage dating. So I'm nervous and excited at the same time and. . ."
He takes a breath as his eyes glance skyward for any strength the Maker could offer. "So I'm going to start talking about what I like and hope I get some replies."
With another charming grin to his hopeful audience, Anders begins his notable history.
"I was a Gray Warden, though I left that. I can't tell you anything about that - literally I can't. I run a free health clinic in Darktown at Kirkwall. Oh, don't tell the Templers about that. It's a miracle the post's stayed up this long." He scratches at his chin, expression worrisome. "I write manifestos for the mage cause. I love cats." A grin slips his could of emotion though the smile is quickly swallowed by another storm.
"I just. . .really love cats." He turns from the screen and fans frantic hands over his face, desperate to stem a sudden splash of tears. "I love cats - tabbies especially." His lips quiver between tears, and Anders flails his hands again. "Maker," he swears, staring hard to the left of the screen. "I just really love cats. And I just want to hug all of them but I can't - because that's crazy!"
A sob escapes his chest. "But I want to. I just want to." Anders shakes his head and sniffles as chants his cat-hugging need. He shakes with a tangible sorrow.
When he's more sober Anders apologizes. "I get - any time I hear a cat I just . . . I love cats." He laughs at himself and wipes sticky tears from his eyes. "I promised I wouldn't. . ."
He shakes his head again and stares straight at the screen, his confidence highlighting the air around him. "I am a cat lover. And I love to protest for mage rights." Then, like the breaking of a kite, his proud mood plummets as tears soak his cheeks. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking about cat's again."
Anders hides his eyes with a palm, his gritted teeth visible beneath it. Several weaving moments of pained tears pass before he speaks again, his words a broken rush of sounds. "I'm just thinking about how many don't have a home or a cloak like mine to hide in. And how many get eaten by the locals. A-and how I should have them." He fans his hands again and tries to steady his breath.
"And how cute they are - with their ears." He mimics a pussycat ear gesture between open sobs. "And the whiskers and the nose." Anders collapses with tears, unable to speak between hiccups. "I just love them! And I want them! And I want them in my cloak. . . And I want them to wear little b-bowties. A-and I want them to help me destroy the Chantry and just in my clinic. I just want my clinic full of them. And I just want us to roll around." He sniffles noisily, chest caving on itself with the strength of his sobs.
"I can't - I just can't. Oh Ser-Pounce-A-Lot," he wheezes before the screen goes black.