Hey guys, so welcome to Highway Don't Care. This is my post Berlin story! [No, I haven't seen the episode after, so this is very AU.] Uhmmm...I planned on starting this yesterday or the day before, and I just finished writing this! It's 2:15am, btw. I had to write and finish it now or I never would. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, although it wasn't quite what I expected, ya know?
I'd also like to make this huge dedication here (: HDC's dedicated to Whitney for being my amazing Wallaby, Jess for creating the most amazing videos and just being downright funny [hehe.], Steph for being the coolest seagull to have ever hit Wallaby Way, and SHARMANE. Why the caps? Cos I've been torturing her with quotes and stuffs ;) WINK SHAZZA WINK. So.
Read on, and enjoy!
"Tony, I-"
"Ziva!"
She doesn't know much of what happened after that, except that there's this searing pain in her right side, and a blinding white light. Then, absolutely nothing.
She finds herself holding onto something warm, and it's gripping onto her hand as tightly as it can. Wait- that's her partner. But why- oh right, accident.
Wait.
Oh god, please let him be alive.
It's excruciatingly painful for her to have to make that turn of her head to look at him, and when she does, it almost kills her.
He's right there, but his face is bloody. His eyes are barely open, and she swears he's trying to look at her. It's hard to tell though; he's barely conscious.
"T-Tony?" her voice trails off slowly, until it becomes a soft whisper.
Nothing.
"Tony?" she's feeling an adrenaline rush now; she is not going to let him die on her.
A soft, almost inaudible groan.
"Oh thank god, Tony!" She's so happy she swears she could cry, but that would be showing weakness, now wouldn't it?
He gives her a weak smile (or was that a grimace?), and she feels an adrenaline rush, just enough energy to scream for help. An adrenaline rush, long enough to keep her awake until she hears sirens.
That's when it truly goes black.
She wakes up, or at least she thinks she does. Wait, is she…? No, it hurts way too much for her to be dead.
It's a white room, there's beeping, and there are too many people crowding around her. Nope, she's definitely alive. If she were dead, she wouldn't be feeling this complete and utter sense of irritation, and would definitely not be feeling quite so…uncomfortable. There are too many people.
If she wasn't claustrophobic before, she certainly is now.
Wait. What the hell?
"Ziva David, if you scare me like that again, I swear to God, I will-" Fart.
There's this giant fluffy hippo pressed up against her, in between her and the tiny little forensic scientist.
"Abs, ease up. She needs to breathe, you know." Abby's pulled off of her, and she's met with five smiling faces.
But…shouldn't there be six? Where's…where's Tony?
Oh god.
"Tony! Where's Tony?!" her breath is suddenly coming in too fast and too shallow. Her heart rate's increasing, and she finds everyone around her moving way too fast for her liking.
"Ziva- Ziva! Calm down. You need to calm down." Gibbs' eyes, normally void of emotion, are filled with concern. He's pushing her back down into the hospital bed; restraining her; preventing her from doing something stupid.
"Where's Tony? I need to see him." She's panting, and she's scared. For the first time in a long time, she's scared. She's so scared for him, it's killing her. It pains her, not knowing what happened to him, not knowing if he's okay, not knowing if he's-
No. She won't say it. She can't bring herself to.
"He's…he's fine, Ziver."
There's something they aren't telling her.
"What else? There's no way that's it." He hesitates.
Oh god. Gibbs hesitated. There's no way that's good.
"He's fine…for the most part. When you were both brought here, his condition was worse than yours was. He got the brunt of the impact in the end; and his condition was pretty critical. They're not sure how long it'll take for him to wake up, Ziver." She got the underlying message.
That is, if he ever wakes up.
It's been four days; she did the math. Four days since the crash. She feels so…helpless. Trapped in a hospital bed, everyone mollycoddling her, she can't stand this.
"Take me to see him. I need to see him." I need to see for myself that he's alive.
"That's not a good idea, Ziva…" his voice trails off in a warning, but she really can't bring herself to care. It's a bit too late for that.
He sighs; there's not much he can do about it. Her mind's made up. All he can do now is take her to see him.
It's when she sees him that her heart really and truly breaks. He's lying there, completely still, and she's never seen him look so peaceful before. Not once in the last eight years. It looks like he's sleeping, and in a sense, he really is, but to her, him looking so peaceful is bad.
She chokes back a sob. This is all her fault. She distracted him. She was the reason he was like this. Her stupid little confession. The fact that they were in Berlin. All this was just…so completely overwhelming.
"Don't even think about it, it's not your fault. It was the drunk driver's fault, not yours, you got that?" He's stern now. She nods; she can't bring herself to speak.
She opens the door and steps in, sitting next to his bed.
"Hello, Tony," her voice chokes up. It's difficult to form the words.
"I- I am so sorry, this should never have happened. I'm so sorry."
She's not sure how, but she's brought back to that one moment, three years ago, that summer.
"Couldn't live without you, I guess."
It's in that moment, that one, fleeting moment when she realizes.
It worked both ways.
He couldn't live without her, and there was no way that she'd be able to live without him. There was no way.
She needed him, and she was certain that she needed him a whole lot more than he needed her.
So for all it was worth, he needed to pull through. For himself, for her, for the team, it really didn't matter whom for, as long as he did.
As long as he lived to see the next day.
As long as they were able to see him smile, to hear his laugh, to hear his movie quotes, to see him in that squad room.
Just one more time.
Preferably more than that. But if it came down to that, just one more time would be enough.
It would give her the chance to say all those things she meant to say but never got to.
One last chance.
One.
Final.
Chance.
The highway won't hold you tonight
The highway don't know you're alive
The highway don't care if you're all alone
But I do, I do.
So, what did you guys think of this? Like it? Review? :D I'd appreciate that TONS. So, see you all around!
And to those who the dedications went out to...hope you had fun with this, ESPECIALLY SHAZ ;) WINK.
xx Manda (: