~ Bae's Babysitting Blues ~
By Snapegirlkmf and CJ Moliere
Two years after the end of Unexpected Surprise:
It was a Saturday night and every Saturday night the adults would have their 'date night'. They all went to dinner together but once dinner was over, they all split up to go somewhere to be alone for a few hours, the places they chose special to them. Their usual Saturday night babysitters Granny and Ruby had their own dates for the evening: Granny was going out with Geppetto and Ruby was seeing a mechanic named Billy.
As soon as his parents walked into his room Bae knew his own plans to hang out with his friends were going to be shot to hell. It wasn't that he minded watching his sister, their cousins and their friends but he would have preferred it not to be a Saturday night!
"Awww Papa...isn't there someone else!" he whined.
"No, and I've asked. Bae, it's just one Saturday night..."
"Yeah but I had plans to go out with the crew...ya know."
"You can go with them next weekend, Bae."
"Okay…" he sighed.
"Dinna treat it like it's a chore, lad. This is your sister you're looking after an' her wee cousins and friends."
"Yeah and they get bored easy," Bae pointed out.
And a bunch of bored little kids in one house promised chaos.
He would have to find something to keep them busy until they were all ready to go to sleep when their parents got back.
Also he had to keep an eye on his sister and make sure she wasn't using her magic or summoning her "Majors" to unleash Adriana's Fury on anyone who upset her and didn't give her her way.
The bears seemed to be in hibernation now. Unfortunately she caught on to his little trick of using them to clean his room and gave him a scolding.
"My bears not your maids! They's Happy Army an they's 'sposta go out an make sure no one has frownies. You quit makin em clean or I'm tellin!"
"Yeah but I have a frownie cause I have to clean my room."
"You gots to clean your room 'cause you live like a pig...Papa says so!"
Bae rolled his eyes. His sister had inherited his father's OCD in spades.
"An' Major Rumple tole me you gonna get bugs in there cause you leave stuff with food in them...GROSS! You get bugs an' Papa has to call the bug guy, you're gonna get in real trouble."
His baby sister glared up at him. "I catch ya wakin up Major Rumple an' the Happy Army for cleanin' your room and not frownies, I'm gonna make Mommy's broom smack your butt til ya can't sit!"
He threw up his hands. "I can't believe this. I'm being blackmailed by my baby sister!"
"Uh-huh...less you wanna make a deal?"
She smiled impishly.
You're a chip off the old teacup all right, Rumplette, Bae thought. "Ummmm...how about I borrow them once a month...and...?"
"An what? Yous takin time out from Happy Army work to chase away frownies cause you dunno how to pick your crap up."
"Ummm...I'll take them out over Christmas this year? They can go from house to house and...I don't know...maybe sing to people?"
"You take em out an' sing to people, give 'em hugs 'n presents and make sure they have no frownies. I feel frownies an' deal's off!"
God you drive a hard bargain!
"Ummm…okay."
"...It's a bit warm out tonight so you could let them play in the yard," Belle suggested. "But make sure they're bundled up good."
It was fall and the weather was fluctuating constantly but that day felt like an early spring one.
"Okay, Mama."
"I just went to the store so they should have plenty of snacks but don't let them have too many or they'll have bellyaches."
"Okay."
"If they get tired before we get home, you can let them sleep on the floor...we have their extra blankies and pillows in the closet."
"And make sure they don't have accidents..." Rumple said. Adriana was potty trained while the other little ones were still learning.
"Yeah I know," he said, and then asked for some money to order some pizza from the new pizza place that had just opened, called Tony's after the one in Lady and the Tramp. Tony even owned a dog that looked kind of like Tramp from the movie.
Rumple gave him a few twenties. "Here. This ought to be plenty for a few pies and one of your Fat Tuesday subs."
That was a sub with cheesesteak, chicken fingers, onion rings, French fries and bacon on it. Rumple called it a heart attack waiting to happen and only let Bae eat it on occasion.
"Kin we get some for the Happy Army, Papa?"
Adriana gave her father her most heartwarming smile.
"Umm . . .well . . . I guess . . ." Rumple said, hating to deny his baby girl anything.
"MAJOR RUMPLE!" she called out. "Happy Army! Front n'center!" she called out.
The bears marched down the steps and into the living room, standing at attention.
"We gonna eat pizza, kay?"
They all smiled.
Belle giggled. "I still can't get used to us having a bear army in the house. You're going to have your hands full, Bae."
"I know, Mama," he said, looking resigned.
"I know you wanted to go out honey but you can next weekend."
"No frownies, Bae!" Adriana cried and hugged his legs.
She hated seeing her brother unhappy. "Don'cha think we'll have fun with you watchin us?"
He picked her up. "You won't let it be boring, will you, Rumplette?"
"Nuh-uh." She threw her arms around him. "See...no frownie."
Bae supposed he ought to be grateful non of the other True Love children displayed their magic yet. Rumple said that was because all magicians' powers developed at different times, even if they were the same age. And sometimes they even had different powers, even if they were related.
They heard a car pull into the driveway. Major raced to the door and started barking excitedly. Belle peeked out the window and saw her sister and her family getting out of their car while Emma and Jeff pulled in with their own brood.
"I wanna get the door, Bae!" Adriana cried.
"Okay, okay hold your horses, Rumplette," he laughed and set her on her feet. She raced to the door on her little feet and waved her hand, opening the door. "Hi, Unca Archie!"
"Hello, Adriana."
"Hi, 'Driana," greeted Jonny from his father's arms. He was holding his Major Duke bear in his arm. "I broughts Duke ta play too."
"Cool! Where's Sella an' Major Tom?"
Gisella walked in with her mother. "Hi, Driana."
"Hey, Sella."
"Maggie...will you slow down!" Emma was calling after her daughter. The little girl was racing down the sidewalk like she was running a marathon.
Bae laughed. "Holy crap, Emma. She eat a truckload of Wheaties or what?"
"She's like a monkey on crack some days, Bae," Emma panted.
"You better sit down before you pass out," Belle teased.
"Thanks!" Emma said.
Maggie ran up to Rumple and hugged him about the knees. "Mister Rumple, do ya got any candy?"
Jeff groaned.
Rumple smiled down at her. "I might . . .if you're good for Bae," he said. He knew better than to give little children candy before dinner. "But for now, here's a sticker." He handed her a fuzzy kitten sticker.
"Oooh...cute!"
"What do you say, Maggie?" Jeff prompted.
"Tanks, Mister Rumple."
"You're welcome, dearie."
He turned to the other children. "Would you like a sticker, Sella? Jonny?"
"Sure!" Gisella said excitedly. She loved Fuzzy Kitty stickers.
"Yeah I wants one, Unca Rumple," piped up Jonny.
Rumple gave her a longhaired Angora kitty sticker. He gave Jonny a fuzzy horse sticker.
"Ooo...Sella...lookit...he looks like Marshmallow!"
Just then the door was flung open and they heard Ellie yell, "He-ey, Unca Rumple! I'm ba-a-ack!"
"Yeah an' we can all hear ya, Ellie!" complained Jonny.
"I hafta scream . . . cause Unce Rumple's gettin' old an' goin' deaf!" she reported.
"Eleanor!" Regina gasped.
Robin frowned at his daughter. "Apologize immediately, Eleanor May, or you're going to find your room short a few favorite toys."
"But . . .but Daddy . . .I saw it on a 'mercial . . .this old guy needed some kinda hearing aid . . .and' he was kinda like Unca Rumple." His daughter pouted.
"Eleanor May..." Robin gave her a Look.
"Okay . . .M'sorry, Unca Rumple," she apologized.
"Dearie, I assure you I'm not deaf yet."
"Yeah he's got ears like a fox!" Bae said with a groan.
Jonny blew a raspberry.
"John Wayne Hopper, you stop that now," his father said firmly.
"Awww..."
"You heard Daddy," Marie added.
"Guess what, guys? We're gettin' pizza for dinner!" Adriana cried.
Roland and Jason hi fived each other. "We gettin it from Tony's?" Roland asked.
"We havin pizza?" asked Neal from the doorway. He held up Gru. "Gru likes pizza wif anchovies."
Gisella stuck her tongue out. "That's gross. Can't he eat it without that?"
Ellie frowned. "Yuck! It's like eatin' Flounder!" She didn't like fish.
"Papa says everybody can eat whatever they likes, 'cause we all are diff'rent an' that's okay," Adriana put in.
"That's right, honey," Snow agreed.
"An' I hate lima beans!" Adriana announced.
"Lima beans are roadkill!" muttered Gisella.
"Blech!" Neal made a face.
"So what're we gonna do, Bae?" Jonny asked him.
"Uh . . . how about we play outside in the clubhouse, then we'll eat and watch a movie or something?" the older boy suggested.
"Okay..."
Belle picked up Adriana and hugged her. "You be good for Bae, okay?"
"Kay, Mama!"
Belle kissed her daughter on the cheek and handed her to Rumple.
"Now you behave, dearie, and we'll do something fun tomorrow . . .otherwise you'll spend five minutes looking at a wall, y'hear?"
"Kay Papa...don't wanna look at wall."
She smiled. "Can we bake cookies?"
She loved helping her father make his Golden Delight cookies.
"Yes, tomorrow after breakfast." Rumple agreed. He kissed her forehead. "This is a goodnight kiss cause you'll probably be asleep when I get home."
"Night, Papa...love you..."
"Night, mo astor," he murmured. Then he reluctantly let her go.
"Are you and Mommy going to be late too?" Gisella asked her parents.
"Yes, Princess." Archie answered and gave her a kiss.
Marie picked up Jonny and kissed his cheek. "You be good for Bae too, sweetie."
"I will, Mommy." He held out his arms for his father. "Night, Daddy."
After all the parents left for their date, the kids looked to Bae to see what he wanted to do first.
Bae led them outside, figuring if he could get them tired out, they'd be less likely to be running around like crazy and just sit and watch a movie later.
"I wanna play cowboys an' Indians!" announced Jonny.
"You do that all the time at home," Gisella reminded him.
"Yeah an' I don't wanna play that...wanna play cops 'n robbers," said Maggie.
"I wanna play sorcerer's n' warriors!" Adriana said.
"I wanna be a warrior!" Neal cried excitedly
"Me too so's I can kick butt like the Duke," Jonny said with a grin
"An' I'll be a sorceress!" Adriana declared. "An' you be my knight, Bae!"
"I wanna be the queen," said Ellie.
"You always do," Sella sighed.
"Yeah cause my mommy WAS a queen," Ellie reminded her.
"But now she's a mayor, like my papa's a lawyer an' a sorcerer," said Belle's daughter.
"Can I be a sheriff and underarrest people?" asked Maggie.
"Yup . . .cause we need people to do that," Adriana said. "But Bae's in charge of the army, he's my general."
She gestured at her brother. "Okay, let's start! Bae, dearie, set it up."
Bae almost couldn't talk he was laughing so hard. His little sister was JUST like his papa, sweet and sassy.
"Uh . . once upon a time in a land far far away . . ." he began.
"Why don't we have the land get 'ttacked by monsters?" asked Neal.
"What kinda monsters?" shivered Sella.
"Ogres!" chanted Neal.
"A green witch that eats kids!" Adriana cried.
"Ya mean like the goat lady that turned Daddy into a cricket?" asked Jonny.
"Zelena!" Adriana made a face. "Papa spanked her butt till she couldn't sit for a month cause she tried to kill Mama!"
"Uncle Rumple made her teeth fall out!" Gisella giggled.
Jason scowled. "That's my bad mommy an I hate her!"
"Yeah, she was like the worst mommy in the WORLD!" Roland said.
"She shoulda went to hell with Sella's bad daddy!"
"Don't worry, kid. She will . . someday," Bae told him.
"Like your bad mommy," said Ellie. "The lady who was married to Unca Rumple 'fore Aunt Belle."
"Did she catch crabs from the hook guy?" Neal asked.
Bae almost died laughing. "Uh . . .God only knows!" Probably! he sneered. "Anyway, I'm glad I'm not with her anymore. She was no good." Then he pretended to see a dragon in the sky and all the children screamed and ran into the play house.
"Git it..git it, Bae!" they cheered.
Bae pretended to fight off the dragon with his stick sword and the Majors helped him.
The others cheered when he "killed it".
"Yay...no more dragon!"
Then he played find the criminal with Maggie and Jason and was helped by Jonny, Roland, and Neal.
"Yous underarrest...face the wall an' spread em!" yelled Maggie
Meanwhile Ellie held court with Sella and Adriana and they danced with some of Adriana's bears.
"Hey...whatcha doin dancing with my girl Major Tom?" Roland demanded when he saw the bear dancing with Gisella.
"I didn't say I was gonna be your girlfriend, Roland?"
He frowned. "Why don'cha wanna be now?"
"Cause we're too little."
"You gotta be grown ups to be that . . or big like Bae," Adriana asserted.
"Okay..." he sighed.
Bae decided to order the pizza and his sub while the kids were playing, praying the kids were getting tired.
"M'bored now," complained Neal.
"Let's watch a movie!" Ellie said.
"Which one?" asked Maggie.
"Brave!" Adriana squealed.
"Yeah I like that one."
"I wanna watch 'Spicable Me!" cried Neal.
"How many times have we seen that now?" groaned Jason.
"I wanna watch the Lone Ranger," Jonny argued.
"You can watch that at home with Daddy," Gisella said.
"I wanna watch Maleficent!" piped up Ellie.
"Hey, what's all the commotion out here?" Bae asked.
All of the children started talking at once.
"Whoa...whoa…one at a time!"
When he heard what the problem was, he said, "Okay there's only one fair way to do this-put all the names in a hat and I pick one. You can watch that first and then if we have time later watch another one."
Ellie was delighted when he picked Maleficent first. The kids all sat on the floor while the movie played, Maggie and the boys looking bored.
"This sucks...wanna watch 'Spicable Me, not love crap," Neal grouched.
"Yeah my daddy watches love crap with Mommy after we's in bed," added Jonny.
Jason made a face. "Wanna go outside."
Roland glanced at the kitchen entrance where Bae was getting things ready for the pizza delivery. "So let's find something else to do."
"You ever see Blue's Clues?" asked Maggie.
"Ya mean we can be like cops an' find stuff?" asked her uncle.
"Yeah you never saw it? With Steve an' his dog Blue? And you gotta find Blue's clues . . .in the show she marks 'em with a blue pawprint."
"What're we gonna use for that? Daddy gets mad when I draw on the walls," Jonny pointed out
"Don't we got washable stuff?" asked Jason.
"I dunno . . ." Maggie said. Then she toddled towards the stairs. "Let's see if we can find something up here. Bae's got lotsa artsy stuff. I know where it is!"
They made their way into Bae's art studio, which he'd just repainted with some blue paint and had forgotten to put the can of paint away before the kids had arrived . . . it was still sitting on the floor in the corner with the lid loosely over it and a small paint brush on top.
"Who's gonna be Blue an' mark all the clues?" asked Neal.
"I will!" Maggie said.
But before they could do so, Bae shouted, "Hey, rugrats! The pizza's here!"
They all raced pell mell downstairs to eat. They could play the cool game after dinner.
"It don't got anchovies!" Neal complained.
"They didn't have anymore," Bae said quickly. He'd forgotten to tell them to put some on.
He ate his sub, watching as the kids devoured the pizza and then he started cleaning up. As he was throwing out the empty pizza boxes, his cell rang. "Hey, Andi." He smiled as he imagined his girlfriend on the other end of the phone and wished he could go out with her tonight like they'd originally planned.
"What's up? Having fun yet?"
"It's great. We just ate pizza from Tony's . . .and I'm so bored I could scream . . ." he sighed, moving into the living room so he could talk privately.
"Becky and Ewan hotwired a car and we're out here at the lighthouse."
"Wish I was. Instead I'm home pretending I'm Gold's Daycare Service."
"We'd bring you all out here...that'd be fun...but your dad would have a fit."
"Yeah . . . he would . . ." Bae sat down on the loveseat, deciding that if he couldn't be with his girlfriend, at least he could talk to her for a while. But he forgot that toddlers were like the ocean-you couldn't turn your back on them for more than a minute.
"You want us to come over for a bit?"
"You don't have to . . .why ruin your night?" he said quickly.
He would love the company but he didn't want her to feel obligated.
"If you change your mind we'll rescue you."
"Okay," he laughed. "I'll remember."
"BAE!" Ellie was screaming.
"Shit!" he swore. "Gotta go. One of them's screaming!" he hung up the phone and ran out of the living room. "What's wrong?"
She had pizza sauce and cheese all over her shirt. "Maggie threw it at me!"
"Cause you kept whining so I said you eat it or wear it so I made ya wear it!"
"Maggie, we don't throw food. Ellie, why were you complaining?"
"Cause I hate crust.., you cuts mine off…duh!"
She looked at him like she was talking to an idiot.
"Pizza without crust is roadkill," Gisela declared.
"Yeah takin the crust off is dumb but queenie here hasta be picky!" Maggie glared at Ellie.
"You wanna fight?"
"No...corners...both of you...NOW!"
Maggie and Ellie fought as much as their mothers did during the curse when they got in a snit.
The two little girls tried to glare at each other. "No, face the walls, girls."
The others finished their pizzas in silence.
"I hate the corner," Jonny grumbled.
"That's because you get put there by Mommy and Daddy a lot," Gisella reminded him.
"Why you get put in the corner a lot, Jonny?" asked Adriana.
"Cause I liketa play in Daddy's office and I'm not allowed."
"And you repeat every bad word you hear."
"Not my fault some of those people he sees swear a lot."
"You're not supposed to be listening...he told you that a hundred times."
One of Adriana's bears staggered over to her rubbing his tummy. "Your tummy hurt, Major Bae?"
It nodded.
"I toldya not to eat too much cheese...your tummy doesn't like it."
She waved her hand over the bear's stomach. "There. All better. No frownie."
Bae gasped. "When did you start doing that, Rumplette?"
"I dunno...I just wanted to do it an' I did it."
They already suspected not long after she was born that Adriana was a powerful empath and suspected she might have inherited her father's healing ability. Now it seemed that she did.
Bae timed the two wildcats in the corner and when their five minutes were up he let them out.
"Now you tell each other you're sorry," he instructed.
Ellie crossed her arms over her chest. "No! An' you can't make me. You not my mommy an' daddy."
Maggie's hands were on her hips. "M'not 'pologizin to her cause she's a meanie an picky."
"You'll both apologize or you'll go back in those corners and stay there until you do!" Bae threatened, sounding very much like his father.
Then he gave both of them a disappointed Look. Both girls bowed their heads in shame.
"M'sorry," Ellie said.
"Me too," said Maggie.
"Now can we watch 'Spicable Me?" asked Neal.
"Wanna play now," said Jason.
Bae was getting tired but the kids had an overabundance of energy that he had no idea what to do to wear them down.
Bae had just put the Maleficent movie back on when his cell rang again. It was Andi. He went into the living room again so he could talk to her over the loud sound of the TV and the kids squealing. "Hey, Wraith! S'up?"
"We're trying to figure out this year's ultimate Halloween prank...any ideas?"
'Uh . . lemme think . . .who we gonna play it on?"
They usually chose some individual who was less than welcoming to kids and teenagers . . . .someone who needed a bit of a lesson in how to treat people.
"I say we get the blue bitch...has it coming. Or Miss Harridan."
"Yeah . . .but we gotta be careful. Blue knows us . . .unless we dress up . . ." Bae warned. His father didn't approve of his son pranking people like some delinquent . . . but what Rumple didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Besides, the Blue Butthole had it coming.
"I got it!" Becky shouted over the line. "Whaddya say we dress up like our favorite horror movie characters?"
"Great Idea," Bae said. He was going to be Hannibal.
He'd seen a mask in the Halloween shop that was awesome looking and he had enough money saved to buy it without asking Rumple for a loan.
"I haven't decided who I want to be yet," Andi said.
"You could be Molly Malone the banshee," Bae suggested. He'd love to see her in a semi-sheer outfit.
"Now that sounds interesting..."
In the living room, Maggie was playing lookout. "Hey...c'mon...let's go play Blue's Clues!" she whispered.
"What's that?" Adriana asked.
"Oh I remember that...I watched it with Daddy a lot," answered Gisella. "It's about a dog named Blue who makes you look for stuff and leaves pawpint clues to where it is."
"I saw that too!" said Ellie. "Okay, let's play it!"
"We gotta go while Bae's 'stracted," said Jason.
Adriana cocked her head. "He's on the phone. Now we can go upstairs."
"Can Gru play too?" asked Neal.
"Yeah, if he wants," the little enchantress replied. Then she scurried up the stairs, having learned a long time ago that doing what you wanted was much easier when the grown-ups were talking on their phones.
"Oooh...why don't we have the whole army play...they'll know how, right Driana?" asked Jason.
"Can't. Cause then Bae will wonder why we is all upstairs," she pointed out. "Sos' they can stay down there an' watch TV."
"Aww crap...okay. An 'stract him too, right?"
"Umm yeah . . ."
'C'mon I wanna play!" demanded Ellie impatiently.
"Okay, let's go!" said Neal and he went and lifted the lid off the can of blue paint.
"That stuff really smells." Jason held his nose.
"It's just paint!" Maggie rolled her eyes. She didn't mind getting wet or dirty. She put a hand in the paint and then went and stuck it on Bae's wall. "There! Your first clue!"
"My turn!" said Ellie, not to be outdone. She put a blue handprint on the opposite wall.
"I'm puttin one here!" Jonny said and stuck one on the door.
Gisella stuck one beside her brother's.
"Now what're we sposta be lookin' for?" asked Roland.
The others shrugged.
"Let's put one on the couch!" suggested Adriana. "They always had a clue on there." She coated her hand with paint and crept downstairs to put a handprint right on Gold's expensive Victorian antique love seat, over the ugly flower print that was there.
"A clue! A clue!" Maggied cried, pointing. "I found one, can you?"
"Yeah that couch is ugly..." Ellie answered.
She stuck another print on the love seat. "Here's 'nother one!"
"Here too!" said Jonny, and he put one on the wall beside the TV.
Gisella put one beside the bookshelf.
Roland put one on the Queen Anne coffee table.
Neal put one on the drapes.
Jason put one on the floor near Major's dish.
"I know what that one means!" cried Adriana. "Maj wants to eat."
She summoned the dry Blue Buffalo dog food from the pantry and had it pour itself into the dish. It overflowed onto the floor. "Oops! Maj! Dinner!"
The shepherd came running and began eating the food on the floor.
The food was floated back into the pantry.
Major happily gulped down his second meal of the day.
"Who wants ta guess what this one means?" Maggie asked, putting one on the trashcan.
The others shrugged.
She then drew a face on it.
"It's Oscar The Grouch!" answered Gisella.
"Yup! Gold star for you!"
The others clapped.
"I usta play this with Daddy too only he made little stickers."
"Oooooo!" the others cried.
While the toddlers were merrily redecorating Gold's Victorian, Rumple found his leg was really bothering him. Sudden shifts in the weather caused it to ache ferociously, and tonight crisp fall weather had abruptly shifted into a cold snap. Belle was feeling a bit tired herself yet they still managed to have a few sweet hours alone.
"Maybe a soak will help," she said to him.
"Yes, it's probably the only thing that will," he agreed. "A nice long one in the hot tub." He had gotten another hot tub installed inside the Victorian in what was now called "the spa room", an addition he'd put on just for that.
"Would you like some company?"
He grinned lasciviously. "Are ye offering to ease my suffering, my bonny wife?"
"Oh aye...if ye're up to it..."
He winked. "Always with you, dearie." They had discovered certain ways to pleasure each other when his leg was hurting that didn't put pressure on the appendage, but one of the best ones was in the hot tub, where the water buoyed him and relaxed the tense muscles.
"And maybe...we can work on having another baby..."
She knew that was what her sister was doing.
"As you wish, sweetheart," he murmured, for he wouldn't mind another child at all.
"I'm hoping for a little Rumple this time.."
Leaning on his cane, which oddly made him look even more dashing and desirable in his wife's eyes, he said, "I wouldna mind a wee lad this time . . .with his mama's bonny blue eyes."
Or...they could have one of each. She didn't care. She loved having his children.
"Shall we go home then, dearie? Before this auld warhorse collapses an' you'll have to drag me home?" he joked.
"Yes, we shall...lead the way, darling."
They got back into the car and drove home in ten minutes, and Rumple thought as he limped up the walk that Bae would probably thank them for coming home early because then he could go out for a bit with his friends.
"I'm sure the kids are all asleep now," Belle said.
"Or just about," Rumple agreed, putting the key into the lock.
Major started barking and ran to the door and started scratching it excitedly, catching his master's scent on the other side.
"Hush!" Gold called. "You'll wake the kids up!"
He unlocked the door and came inside.
Belle dropped her purse on the floor.
The odor of pizza and peanut butter cookies mingled with that of . . wet paint?
"Bae, we're home," he called. "We decided to call it a night early. How were the kids for y-" Rumple lost the rest of what he was going to say and simply gaped at the disaster before him, speechless.
"Rumple, what's wrong-Oh . . .my gods!" Belle gasped in horror.
"Gotta go, my parents just came home," Bae said and went out to see them in the hallway . . and nearly fell over. "Holy crap!"
"Bae...what happened in here? Art class?' demanded his angry father.
"Umm...ummm..."
"We was playing Blue's Clues, Papa," said Adriana.
"All over the walls...the furniture? The drapes? Adriana...you know better!" My Queen Anne coffee table! My Victorian print sofa and loveseat! He thought, aghast.
The little girl bowed her head in shame. "You're mad at me," she sobbed.
"We're very disappointed in you...in all of you," Belle said, she and her husband giving them all a Look.
"Now whose idea was this?" Rumple asked.
The children all looked at each other, not wanting to be the one to tattle.
"Admirable but it's not gonna get ye out of bein' punished. Your mums and papas are not goin' ta be happy with ye either cause they taught ye better, right?"
"Uh-huh..." they all said in unison.
Just then the door opened and Regina and Robin walked in. "Bae, we decided to come back early and...oh my God!" Regina cried.
"Eleanor May, Roland,...Jason! What have you done to Rumple's house?" Robin inquired of their children.
"Umm...we was playin'..." Jason stammered.
"You know you're supposed to have respect for other people's property. Look at this mess," Regina scolded.
"We're sorry, Mama," Ellie sniffled.
"Yes you will be...because you are going to clean it up...all of you and then you're going to say you're sorry to Rumple. Understand?"
"Yes, Mama," they chorused.
"What I want to know is where were ye when they were turnin' my house into an art studio, Baelfire?" Rumple frowned at his eldest.
"I was...I was...talkingtoAndionthephone..."
"A bit slower, lad an don't be leavin' nothin' out either."
"Ummm...I was talking to Andi on the phone," Bae answered sheepishly.
"And you didn't watch them while you were doing that, Bae?" Belle cried. "They could've gotten hurt! What were you thinking?"
Emma and Jeff walked in a few minutes later. "Holy hell! What happened in here?" Jeff exclaimed.
"Our wee ones, that's what!"
"Margaret Hatter, did you have something to do with this mess?" Emma interrogated her daughter.
"We was playin Blue's Clues, Mama. You gonna underarrest me now?"
"No but you ARE going to help clean this up. How many times have we told you no playing Blue's Clues in the house?"
"Ummm...lots..."
"And you obviously need to be reminded not to do it again," Jeff said, both of them giving her disappointed looks.
"M'sorry!" she bawled.
Snow and David arrived next to see the havoc their son helped wreak. "Neal Leopold! What have you done!" cried Snow.
"We was bored so's we played Blue's Clues."
"And you made an unholy mess," scolded David. "Which you're going to clean up...and Gru will be staying with Mommy and me for a week."
"Noooooo!" wailed the toddler.
"Yes. And no TV either," added Snow.
"Don't think you three won't have more coming," said Robin to his children.
"We'll be discussing that when we get home...after you spend some time in the corner." Regina put in.
Gisella and Jonny were relieved their parents weren't there and hoped the mess would be cleaned up before they saw it but no such luck. A short time later they walked in.
They glanced at the mess briefly then turned to their children.
"Gisella and John Wayne Hopper, what have you done to your uncle's house? This is a disaster!" Marie said angrily.
"And you two know better than to use paint to play Blue's Clues!" scolded their father.
"We're sorry, Daddy," murmured Gisella.
"First...you're going to help clean this mess up and apologize...then you've both got dates with the corner when we get home," Mary said sternly.
"There'll be no TV for a week and you aren't going outside. Instead you'll both be helping Mary with the housecleaning all week." Archie informed them.
"Awww...I hate cleanin!" Jonny whined.
"You should have thought of that before you messed up Uncle Rumple's furniture and walls," Archie lectured.
Adriana hoped she could get the Happy Army to lend a hand.
"I know what ye're thinkin ye wee imp and t' answer is no. Yer bears are NOT helpin you clean."
Adriana bit her lip to keep from crying. She hated seeing her Mommy and Daddy have frownies, especially when she helped put them there. "Kay...I clean it up..."
The parents all gave their children cleaning supplies and put them to work cleaning up all the pawprints around the house.
It was not an easy task and some of it wouldn't come off without Rumple having to use a bit of magic. The kids were tired by the time they were finished and all terribly ashamed of themselves. They could barely look Rumple and Belle in the eye.
And Rumple was going to be having a talk with his son about the importance of never letting his eye stray from his young charges, even for a second because that was all it took sometimes for something terrible to happen!
After everything had been cleaned up and everyone else had gone home, Belle put Adriana in the corner for five minutes and then put her to bed while Rumple went to have a talk with his eldest in the living room.
Bae looked up at his father, feeling wretched and ashamed. "Papa, I know what you're gonna say . . .I shouldn't have been on the phone while the kids were awake and able to get into something. And I should have put the paint away so they couldn't get it. I was stupid and I'm sorry."
Rumple sat down in front of his son, his leg was still throbbing wickedly and he wanted to get this lecture over with so he could get some relief from the stabbing aching pain.
"You're right, ye should have put the paint away where no little hands could get it, Baelfire. Did I not tell ye that the other day? However, that's not the whole reason why ye shouldn't be on the phone when ye've got little kids in this house, dearie. What if one of them had fallen? Cut their lip open, smashed their head into a chair? Fell down the stairs? They could have gotten seriously hurt and ye would've been responsible, Bae! Ye saw what happened the one day when Adriana was climbing on a chair right in front of me and she slipped and cut her eyebrow open on the table!"
"I know, Papa . .. but I wasn't gonna be long . . ."
"Son, a second is too long! That's all it takes!" Rumple snapped. "What if one of them had swallowed something? And was choking? Or stuck their finger in a light socket? Son, ye canna turn your back on the wee ones for a minute without them gettin' into something they're not supposed to."
Bae hung his head. "I . . .I wasn't thinking about that. I just wanted to . . .talk to Andi for a bit . . .I didn't know they were gonna go all nuts and wreck the house!"
"Bae, what does your mama always say? About an ounce of prevention?"
"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," he recited.
"Yes. And what does that mean?"
"You should try and prevent something first before you need to cure it."
"That's right. Seeing the mess they got in . . .wouldn't you say that's right?"
"Yes, sir."
"Someday lad, you'll have wee ones of your own and what would ye be thinkin if you came home to what I did and the person ye trusted to mind them didn't prevent it?"
"I'd want to kick their ass," Bae admitted.
"I'll no' be kicking your ass, lad but I am disappointed."
Bae flinched. He hated when his father was disappointed in him. It hurt worse than if Rumple had shouted at him or smacked him. "So . . .what are you gonna do to me?"
"For starters, ye'll be writing another essay.."
"Aww, Papa . . ."
"No grousin'. This one is about responsibility and I want at least ten examples of how wee ones have gotten hurt when someone wasn't minding them properly."
"Yes, sir."
He wondered what else his papa had in mind . . .for with Rumple it was never just one thing.
"Secondly, you're grounded for a week. And you know what that entails, son."
"Yeah I know...up at the crack of dawn cleaning."
"And no friends over and your phone and laptop are mine till then."
"How'm I gonna write my essay then?"
"You can have it for that, but you won't be able to chat with yer friends online." Rumple amended.
"Okay..." he sighed.
"Bae, I hope you take this mistake and learn from it. Because a lot of times you learn more from your mistakes than you do from your successes. I know I have."
"I will," he vowed.
Rumple patted his son's shoulder. "Please do. And I forgive you, Bae. Just try your best to not do something like this again."
"I'll be careful, Papa."
"Good. Now off to bed with you. The little hellions have probably tired you out." He rubbed his leg absently. "And I need a long soak in the hot tub . . ."
"Have fun," Bae said with a smirk, willing to bet he wouldn't be in there alone.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, you sassy brat!" scolded his father, shaking a finger at him. But he couldn't help a slight smirk.
"Who? Me?"
"Get!" Rumple mock-growled. "Or do ye need my cane to hurry you on yer way?" And he shook his cane at his son.
"I'm goin! I'm goin!" Bae scurried away, for the cane of doom was not something the wise person invited down upon them. You only had to ask Keith Nottingham!
Rumple smirked wickedly, like the former imp he had been.
And so ended the Blues Clues Babysitting Mishap.