Title: Gaeta's Lament
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Rating: PG/K+
Summary: Felix Gaeta has had many heroes in his lifetime
Word Count: 550
Warnings: Spoilers up to 4x14 Blood on the Scales. I mean it!
Disclaimer: This show is not mine but even if it were, I wouldn't change a thing.
He wanted to be a great humanitarian, like his father.
Alexis Gaeta was his first hero, silent and strong, confident and caring, a pillar of his community. Felix idolized the man and wanted to be just like him from the moment he was old enough to understand what idol worship meant; that it was something more than just paying tribute to the household gods. It was something even bigger than that. It was about wanting to stand in the sun and absorb the rays, and become a god yourself.
Then one day his father was arrested for embezzling millions from his own charitable trust.
He wanted to be a great scientist, like Gaius Baltar.
Compassion wasn't enough to get by in this world, Felix decided when he grew older. One had to possess a brilliant mind, make new important discoveries, invent things that would improve people's lives. Dr. Baltar was a man among men, and it was his mind not his heart that set him apart from the rest. After the destruction of the colonies it was the scientists that they all looked to for salvation, not the humanitarians. They were dead. At one time Felix quite thought that Gaius should rule the world; that they would all be better off. So he saw to it.
Then one day it was revealed that Gaius Baltar had been collaborating with cylons from the very beginning, and was responsible for millions of deaths, including Felix's parents, his sisters, his entire family.
He wanted to be a great leader, like William Adama.
The Admiral was an inspiration to Felix – charismatic, authoritative. Like his father, the old man loved his Galactica family, and like Gaius he possessed an extraordinary will to survive. But his survival instinct wasn't saved for himself alone; Adama used it to protect the entire fleet, the remnants of the human race in exile. That was what made him truly great, larger than life even. Felix felt safe under his wing because he knew that like any great leader, Admiral Adama would always put his life on the line to protect his people. And when he made a promise, he kept it.
Then one day the Admiral struck an alliance with the cylon murderers and wanted everyone to be friends again.
He wanted to be a great revolutionary, like Tom Zarek.
There was no place for mercy in Zarek's world, no place for science or authority. There was only freedom and justice. Justice should be brought to the traitors and it should be swift, he explained, so the seeds of democracy could take root and flourish. Zarek didn't allow sentiment to cloud his judgment. A true revolutionary needed to make the tough choices, even if others hated you for it, even if you sacrificed yourself along the way. That was all right, in fact it was preferable to do so, because when the revolution was over, it would be the martyrs who would be remembered with songs, street names and monuments.
Then one day Tom Zarek killed again and again, and even led Felix to his death.
There were so many things Felix Gaeta wanted to be, that he never took the time to show the world who he really was.
Rest in Peace Felix Gaeta, I hope you found it.