A Harry Potter Musical
A/N: Hello all! This is my first story, so please review. To the best of my abilities, this is going to be the plot of the Harry Potter books set to the tune of songs that I know. It's just a story I'm writing for fun.
And about this song: Yes, I know, only Death Eaters call Voldemort "The Dark Lord", and the middle is kinda weird, but hey-I thought it fit. Also, parts of it are not going to make sense unless you know the sixth book very well.
Chapter 1
"No One Mourns the Dark Lord"
Parody of "No One Mourns the Wicked" from the musical Wicked
Halloween (or day after) of 1981. The Dark Lord Voldemort had just been defeated by baby Harry Potter. All sorts of wizards run out, singing:
Wizards:
"Good news! He's gone!
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is gone!
The most evil wizard there ever was
The enemy of all of us wizards here
Is gone!
Good news!
Good news!"
There is more rejoicing, and suddenly a random, slightly annoying wizard in the crowd shouts:
"Look! It's Dumbledore!"
Dumbledore Apparates from nowhere and says:
"Fellow wizards:
Let us be glad
Let us be grateful
Let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue
The evil workings of You-Know-Who
Isn't it nice to know
That good will conquer evil?
The truth we all believe'll by and by
Outlive a lie
For you and –"
Dumbledore is interrupted by another annoying wizard:
"No one mourns the Dark Lord."
Another wizard (who is not annoying):
"No one cries "He won't return!""
All:
"No one lays a lily on his grave"
Wizard:
"The good wizard scorns the Dark Lord!"
Witches:
"Through their lives, our children learn"
All:
"What we miss, when we misbehave"
Dumbledore:
"And Goodness knows
The Dark Lord's life is lonely
Goodness knows
The Dark Lord cries alone
It just shows when you're evil
You're left only
On your own"
All:
"Yes, Goodness knows
The Dark Lord's life is lonely.
Goodness knows
The Dark Lord cries alone.
Nothing grows for the Dark Lord
He reaps only
What he's sown"
Dumbledore:
"Are people born evil? Or do they have evilness thrust upon them? After all,
he had a childhood. He had a mother, as so many do."
The scene now drifts to the Gaunt house, back in 1924 or so. Marvolo Gaunt and his son, Morfin, had just been taken to Azkaban. Ogden hangs back with Marvolo's daughter, Merope.
Ogden:
"With those fellows gone, will you be lonely?"
Merope:
"No, that's alright, it's only for six months."
Ogden:
"But I'm sure that you'll be in their hearts
While they're out of your sight."
Ogden leaves, not really believing what he just said. Merope sure doesn't believe him. She looks out a window, sees a dark-haired man riding by, and runs off to get something.
Dumbledore:
"And of course, he had a father, and he was- shall we say-bewitched by Merope."
Merope:
"Have another drink, my dark-haired beauty
While you are still right here in town.
So have another drink of my elixir
And we'll have ourselves a little mixer.
Have another little swallow, handsome lad,
And follow me down."
Dumbledore:
"But before he was born, his father abandoned his mother and, well, Merope, she..."
On a cold night, Merope, who is now very pregnant, knocks on the door of an orphanage. The matron, Mrs. Cole, answers it.
Merope:
"It's coming."
Mrs. Cole:
"Now?"
Merope:
"The baby's coming."
Mrs Cole:
"And how!"
They go into a room in the orphanage. Later...
Mrs. Cole:
"I see a nose
I see an eye
It's a healthy, perfect,
Lovely, little -"
Merope:
"Ohhhhhh!
Merlin's Beard!"
Mrs. Cole:
"What is it? What's wrong?"
Merope:
"How can it be?
What does it mean?
How does he look?
How is he?
I hope he looks like his papa,
I think that I am going to-
Die!"
Merope:
"You must call him... Tom Marvolo Riddle."
Merope dies.
Back to the present, where people are still celebrating.
Dumbledore:
"So you see - it couldn't have been easy!"
Wizards:
"No one mourns the Dark Lord!
Now at last, he's left and gone!
Now at last, there's joy throughout the land
And Goodness knows
We know what Goodness is
Goodness knows
The Dark Lord cries alone"
Dumbledore:
"He cries alone."
Wizards:
"Woe to those
Who spurn what Goodness
They are shown
No one mourns the Dark Lord"
Dumbledore:
"Good news!"
Wizards:
"No one mourns the Dark Lord!"
Dumbledore:
"Good news!"
All:
"No one mourns the Dark Lord!
Dark Lord!
Dark Lord!"
Well, there you have it folks. My first chapter in a story and a fairly weak attempt at a musical. Please read and review! Constructive criticism is accepted, but no outright flames, please.