Greetings citizens of the internet. I was just casually scrolling through TV Tropes list of troll fics when I came across the mention of this monstrosity, unforgiven by Sarah Gore BlackPlage (yes plage), supposedly an Attack on Titan fic. Emphasis on supposedly. TV Tropes was kind (or unkind) enough to provide a link to the story which I read in the space of my 50 minute period 6 chemistry class. After taking some time to regrow my brain cells I have recruited everyone's favourite Hot headed Hero and Deadpan Snarker to kill their own brain cells and tell you what they're thinking at the same time.

Eren: I'm not really sure what exactly we're doing.

Levi: I'm almost 100% sure this wasn't authorised.

Author: Just shut up and read.

Chapter 1

HEY GUYS I WAS CUMISSIONED (Levi: Whoa, whoa, whoa back up. How did she spell that? Eren: Cumiss…oh.) BY THE CRE8ER OF ATTACK ON TITAN 2 MAKE A FANFIC SO HERE IS A SNEAK PEEK U BUT U CAN'T STEEL IT THE MAIN CHARACTER IS RAVEN DUSK DESPAIR FROM MY KINDOM BROKEN HEARTS SERES DONT ASK ABUT HOW SHE GOT IN THIS WORLD ALL THATLL ALL B ALL EXPLAINED L8R (disclaimer: ai dont own these characters or attacj on titan or dracula) (Levi: What has a Victorian gothic novel got to do with this.)

"I'm Raven Dusk Despair I am 16 an my parents wer eaten by titans when i was a kid rite infront of me like what happened 2 eren but mine was mre gory maybe and both my parents and siblings got eaten infront of me. Sense that day I vowed to join the survey corps and bcome the most vishious titan slayer in the world. (Eren: That is literally my whole tragic backstory, what the hell?)

My hair changes color dipending on my mood cuz I am a vampire (ooc: it happens to vampires I red Dracula and it says so) (Levi: You colored Dracula red?) so usuily my hai is purple with black streaks cause purple is made up of red and blue and red means my rath and blue is sadness but black streeks r always in my hair case theu stand 4 depression which i always am my eyes r also violet with pentagrams like ceil frim black butler i hav a british acsent. (Eren: Well, that was horrifying.)

day is the 1st day of my trayning and high school (Eren: We don't have high school we're a military.) im not nervous because of the work but I am bcause of the… people.. (Levi: Fair enough.)

See sense my parents and siblngs demise i hav turned emo and goth (Levi: Oh you've got to be shitting me?) so no one really understands me and i am a vampire (Eren: We don't have vampires we fight titans.)

Especially sense i am a vampire… plus im anti social and hav depprression. (Levi: I think this is giving me depression.)

"nevr mind that i said too myself "im not hear too make friends with these simpleminded fools I am hear too avinge the deth of my family" (Eren: You're at high school to avenge the death of your family?) and i glieded into the academy hovering because vampires can do that its in dracula and its faster than walking (Levi: Why must she try and justify everything, it only makes it worse.)

"I glided past the heavy doors and met the eyes of sevural jugmental eyes including the eys of eren (Levi: *smirks* Eren: *glares badly*) but four once they were not filled with rath or anger.

His face softened and his eyes got bigger as ha gazed at me and he tryed too look away but it was hard (Eren: I cannot imagine why.)

Author: So guys what did you think?

Eren: I'm two parts confused, one part scared, half a part amused, half a part stupefied and five parts absolutely terrified.

Levi: *glares at author* I'm going to kill you.

Author: *moves behind a confused Eren* Well okay, I'm going to go hide in another fandom till the next chapter. Thanks for coming out everyone.