A/N: Hey everyone and thanks for checking out my fic! So I actually came up with this idea a few months ago but only just decided to start writing it now. When I was watching the Season 4 finale this summer, I was reminded of a thought I had when I saw it the first time, which was "Why on earth did Eric stick around throughout Sookie's entire speech to Bill when he clearly thought she was choosing Bill?" So, I started thinking about what would've happened had Eric just left Bill's house while Sookie was forgiving Bill/telling him she still loves him, and this is what I came up with. Hope you all enjoy it! I'm really excited for some of the stuff I have planned for later chapters~

Also, I don't own anything. All the characters are property of Charlaine Harris and/or Alan Ball.

EPOV

"If being with Eric is what makes you happy, then you have my blessing."

Eric couldn't help the way his face lit up in response to Bill's words. That was it, the very thing he, or rather Sookie, needed to hear. Bill had given them his blessing – not that he'd ever really given a damn about Bill's blessing, but he knew Sookie did – and she was off the hook. Bill, the one thing that had been holding Sookie back before, was no longer an issue in his relationship with her.

"See? It's okay Sookie. Bill's fine with it," he said as he approached her and the back of his finger trailed along her jawline, a strange sensation bubbling in the pit of his stomach. A second later and he recognized that strange sensation to be pure hope and excitement – something he hadn't felt to this degree since he'd been a human. She didn't have to feel guilty about Bill anymore, and Eric could finally feel optimistic about his future with the telepathic waitress.

In that moment, he had eyes only for Sookie; everything else around them was nothing but a giant blur of color. But the same, he realized, couldn't be said for her. Something was wrong. He could sense it in the way Sookie was refusing to meet his eyes. She was still holding back. Why was she holding back? "Bill had his chance," he reminded her. "He blew it. He lied to you –"

"To protect me," she cut him off, finally looking into his eyes. "And I lied to him to protect you, and you've lied to both of us so many times, we can't count. What a mess."

Rendered speechless by Sookie's words, Eric stood, stunned, as she brushed past him and took Bill's hands in her own. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. She was going back to Bill. She was forgiving him for everything he'd done to her, apologizing even (and for what? For being hurt? Give him a break…). His lifeless heart, which a moment ago had been soaring at the prospect of finally having Sookie Stackhouse, promptly plummeted. If Eric hadn't been so caught up in the scene that was unfolding before him, he would have marveled at how drastically his emotions had changed in the past five seconds.

Watching this was quickly becoming nothing short of agony. Never one for melodramatics, Eric had always scoffed at humans and their ridiculous, cliché phrases like "It felt like my heart was being ripped in two" or "It was like someone was squeezing my heart". But as much as it pained him to admit, that was exactly how this was making him feel. He supposed it must be some sort of karma for all the hearts he had literally ripped in two or squeezed in his hand over the past millennia.

As he continued to watch, it became increasingly clear to Eric that there was no need for him to still be there, gaping like an idiot at The Sookie and Bill Reunion. He hadn't survived over a thousand years by sticking around in places where his presence was not welcome or necessary. As it was, he had absolutely no interest in staying here to watch Sookie and Bill dry hump each other through the night and by the looks of things, that was exactly where this declaration of love was headed. So taking Bill's caress of Sookie's face as his cue to leave, Eric sped to his clothes, dressed and left all in the span of about two seconds.

SPOV

It was still strange to Sookie that Bill's hand, which was in actuality as cold as ice, could make her skin ignite the way it did whenever he made contact with it. Even after everything that had happened between them, he could still make her heart leap and that knowledge honestly scared her. Logically, she knew that she shouldn't still feel this way about Bill. He had betrayed her in ways she hadn't even been able to imagine before the truth had finally come out. But for whatever reason, a part of her heart apparently still belonged to him, which just made her decision all the more difficult to carry out.

"You're the love of my life."

Did Bill realize just how much his words were killing her? Wasn't the whole point of choosing nobody to prevent anyone from getting hurt?

"I know," she said, swallowing her tears. "And that just makes this harder." Steeling her resolve, Sookie forced herself to walk away from Bill and the future she might have had with him, turning instead towards Eric. But he wasn't there.

"Eric?" Sookie called out, confused as she scanned the room for the tall blonde. "Eric!" she repeated, receiving no answer. One quick mental search and Sookie discovered that the house was empty of all minds, vampire or human, except for Bill and herself. Where the heck was he? He was standing there just a minute ago. How had she not noticed him leave?

EPOV

Deciding he needed a minute or two to regain his composure, Eric opted to walk the first mile or so back to Shreveport after he'd sped away from Bill's property. He couldn't stand the idea of being on that asshole's grass a second longer than was necessary.

It was a wonder to Eric how Bill Compton, a 150 year old, self-loathing vampire, had come to be such a thorn in his side. He was Eric Northman; for all intents and purposes, Bill Compton was supposed to be nothing more than an insignificant little blimp on his radar. But from the moment Compton had set foot in Area 5, Eric's life had begun to spiral down to hell at an alarming rate, and the fact that all it took to derail him was Compton and his fairy princess really pissed him off.

He should have known better than to give his heart to anyone, much less a human. He had been foolish to think Sookie would ever choose him over Bill. And honestly, he couldn't even blame her for it; she had told him from the start that she was Bill's. He'd been the one stupid enough to fall in love with her anyway. Well, serves him right for acting like a love-sick teenager.

And to think he'd thought he was above all that human bullshit. Well apparently he wasn't because here he was, suffering all the same. Had he learned nothing in his thousand years? He'd allowed his emotions to dominate him and given someone else the power to hurt him, something Godric had always warned him against. 'A vampire is never at the mercy of his emotions.' Now he finally understood why.

For fuck's sake, he had been willing to meet the True Death just to save her, had kneeled at Bill Compton's feet as his king aimed a machine gun at his head. If that wasn't a blatant warning against the dangers of acting through your emotions, then Eric didn't know what was. And the most disturbing part? If he were being completely honest with himself, Eric knew he would do it again. He would die for her, even now. And that knowledge just pissed him off even more.

'Jävla idiot!' Eric mentally cursed. He needed to get a grip. Put Sookie out of his mind (and heart) and move the fuck on. What he needed to do was take his maker's advice and regain control of his emotions instead of letting his emotions maintain control over him. Shouldn't be too hard. He'd been doing so for a thousand years anyway.

Having flown the rest of the way to Shreveport, Eric found himself back at Fangtasia a good five hours before dawn. Perfect… Walking right past Chow who was apparently on bouncer duty tonight, Eric ignored the usual lust, awe and fear-filled looks of the fangbangers who flocked to his club like moths to a flame and made straight for his office. No "enthralling the vermin" today. They could live without him one more night, and if they couldn't, then Eric had seriously underestimated how pathetic these humans could be.

Eyeing the pile of work he had been forced to neglect the past week, Eric figured that now was as good a time as any to catch up on his sheriff duties. At the very least, the paperwork would provide a much-needed distraction from the thoughts and emotions that were threatening to break through the walls he had so carefully put back up during his flight to Shreveport.

The next hour, however, was spent restlessly stalking through his office, trying and failing to concentrate on the work in front of him. No matter what he did, he couldn't get the image of Sookie pushing him aside and walking to Bill out of his mind. The memory was still too fresh for Eric to shelve away like he wanted to, and the constant reminders his treacherous brain kept shoving at him were only making him more agitated as the minutes passed by.

Extracting himself from his musings, Eric felt the telltale signs of his progeny's return through the maker-progeny bond, giving him a second's warning before she came bursting though his office door.

"Where is h- Oh thank God you're back," Pam exclaimed, a scared Ginger just visible over her shoulder. Shutting the door behind her, Pam walked to the center of the room, apparently not taking any notice of the "leave me the fuck alone" vibe Eric was currently giving off. "So I take it Sookie's fine."

Eric ignored her, refusing to so much as glance at his progeny and instead kept his eyes glued to the residency request in his hand. On any other night, he would have welcomed Pam's company; her 'I don't give a fuck' attitude would have been just what he needed to snap out of it and leave his pathetic little pity-party behind him. But not tonight. He was in no mood to deal with anybody tonight, least of all Pam who had just hours before directly disobeyed him and tried to launch a fire bomb at Sookie. He didn't want to hear her apologies and he most certainly did not want to hear her opinion on Episode 500 of the Sookie Stackhouse Saga.

So Eric sent a silent prayer to the gods that Pam would just get the hint and leave him be. But luck seemed to be in a very anti-Eric Northman mood tonight. After a tense moment in which Pam seemed to realize he wasn't going to speak, she decided to try again.

Plastering a smile on her face and planting her hands on her hips, Pam said, "Look, I've been thinking. This whole Moon Goddess mess, what d'ya say we just put it all behind us? You know, let bygones be bygones, bi-girls be bi-"

"Not in the mood, Pam," Eric abruptly cut her off, still refusing to tear his eyes away from the paper in his hand and forcing himself to read dear old Angela Connors's family record: a dead maker and a single living progeny. How fitting.

He could feel Pam studying him, noticing out of the corner of his eye as the smile slid off her face and she slowly lowered her hands to her sides.

"Eric, you're angry –" she started cautiously, taking a few tentative steps towards him before he interrupted her once again.

"I'm not angry, Pam," Eric said through gritted teeth, forcing his attention to stay focused on Ms. Connors's information. It was taking every ounce of strength he had to keep his emotions in check and not lash out at Pam.

She scoffed, getting her attitude back in full in the process. "I know you're pissed, I can fucking feel it. So why don't you just yell at me already and get it over with? I get that you're mad, I can deal. But we still have a business to run and we can't do that if you're here br-"

"PAM! Not. Now." Eric finally looked up at his progeny, the papers he'd been staring at a second ago a crumbled mess in his fist. So much for dominating his emotions.

"Goddammit, Eric! I'm sorry! Ok? I'm fucking sorry. I shouldn't have tried to blow her up, I KNOW. But what was I supposed to do? You're my maker, Eric. You're my everything. How could you even think about dying like that? Just leaving me?" she pleaded with him before changing tactics. "I was being selfish, fine, but don't try and pretend you would have done anything differently if it was Godric's life on the line."

"And what, you thought I would have thanked you for killing Sookie?" Eric couldn't stop himself from shooting back at her. Of course she would use the Godric card. Had he been in a better mood, maybe he even would have bought it. But rather than calm him down or make him see her side, her answer only sparked more anger.

"No, but at least you'd still be alive. There are billions of humans out there Eric and you have centuries ahead of you. You would have found someone else. You would have moved on, and when you did, you would have thanked me for keeping you from becoming a pile of goo over this one."

Eric stared at her for a long moment, debating whether or not he wanted to continue this conversation. No, he decided. Now was not the time. Despite his best efforts, clearly Eric couldn't trust himself to keep his anger at bay and talk about this rationally with his progeny. Taking an unnecessary breath, he reined back in his rage and flattened the crumpled paper in his hand on the desk.

"I'm not in the mood to discuss this with you, Pam," he dismissed her.

Gritting her teeth but finally seeming to get the message, Pam turned to go. He didn't miss the bloody tear she furiously swiped away from her cheek as she did, but despite the guilt Eric felt over seeing it, he was still livid at her earlier disobedience and hurt from Sookie's rejection, so he made no move to stop her from leaving his office.

The minute she closed the door behind her, Eric grabbed the chair closest to him and threw it at the wall with a growl, watching furiously as the piece of furniture splintered into a dozen scraps upon impact. What the fuck had happened to his life? Everything used to be so simple: he travelled, he hunted, he fucked, he fed and for the past century, he'd been doing all of this with Pam by his side. As Sookie had so eloquently put it, he was a happy vampire. Now, he had been living in Shreveport exclusively for half a decade, ever since vampires had "come out of the coffin" and he'd had the brilliant idea of opening Fangtasia. Thanks to the Great Revelation, he couldn't hunt for food anymore either. He had to limit himself to the pitiful selection of Louisiana fangbangers, and if he were being honest, feeding just wasn't nearly as fun as it used to be when the humans he fed from were fearing for their lives while he drank. Even fucking had lost its usual appeal thanks to a certain blonde fairy named Sookie Stackhouse – at least when it came to fucking someone other than said fairy. And worst of all, he couldn't even trust his progeny anymore.

Walking to his desk, Eric slumped into the seat behind it. Running his fingers through his hair, he tried to collect himself again before he lost it completely. This wasn't like him. He usually had total control over everything around him: his emotions, his impulses, his world. What he needed was to get that back.

Losing himself in his thoughts for what felt like the billionth time tonight, Eric sat completely still, his eyes unfocused and his hand still entwined in his gel-less hair. To his relief, as he sat there, he felt his anger begin to slowly creep back onto the shelf where it belonged. Alright, control over his emotions, check. One down, two more to go.

However, Eric was suddenly jolted from his waking-dead state by a steady knock at the door. Annoyed, Eric straightened in his chair as he barked, "Jesus Christ, Pam! What part of 'Not now' is so difficult for you to understand?"

Of course the door opened anyway, but to his surprise it wasn't Pam standing on the other side. It was Sookie.

A/N: So... what'd you think? :D Now I have a question for you guys. I'm currently debating whether or not I should write the rest of the story purely from Sookie's POV or if I should continue to switch between Eric's and Sookie's with a few special POVs scattered here and there as well. Right now, I think I'm leaning towards the first option, but I'm still not sure. So if you all could let me know what you'd rather read, I'd really appreciate your input.

Also just a heads up, updates may be on the slow side especially while I'm in school. I have no intention of abandoning this story however, so please don't give up on me if I take a while between updates! Of course, reviews do wonders for inspiring me to write faster... ;D Thanks everyone for the support!