Enduring Misery by: Lady Virgo
Silence was frightening, the yawning chasm that stretched unbroken in the darkest recesses of the mind. It could never be filled, it could never be shattered, it could never lift its heavy oppressiveness from where it sat its fearsome grip.
But it could be detained. Not blocked, but ignored if not just for a moment. It was as much of a haven for those that feared the silence as the silence was for those that feared the maddening chaos of thought. But for some, there was no option either way. Living in fear of fear, to see which terror would break them at the next moment.
/ Quiet. /
No.
/ Quiet. /
[ Don't go telling /me/ what to do. ]
Don't start this.
[ Oh, so /you're/ going to get into this, too, huh? ]
/ Here we go. /
Why can't you stop?
[ Why don't you just shut up? ]
/ Yes, why not? The silence was so much nicer. /
The silence was unnerving.
[ Wuss. ]
/ Everything makes you nervous. /
I didn't want to listen to it.
/ The silence was calming. /
No.
[ Shut up. ]
/ Please do. /
[ Both of you. ]
You're not much better.
[ Stop whining. ]
/ All he ever does. /
You're making my head hurt.
/ There's always silence. /
[ That's boring. ]
Stop it.
[ You stop it.]
/ We all could simply stop. /
No. Don't.
[ Make up your damn mind. ]
/ Bundle of contradictions, this one. /
Shut up.
/ See? /
Shut up!
/ Oh, you really want us to? /
No.
[ Idiot. ]
The silence is frightening.
[ You're just a pussy. ]
Shut up.
/ Can you not say that every other sentence? /
Leave me alone.
[ Why don't /you/ leave? ]
I can't.
[ Why? The silence too much for you? ]
No.
/ He's too afraid to. /
No.
/ Yes. /
[ Pansy. ]
Go away.
/ You don't want us to. /
Yes I do.
/ Really? /
Yes.
/ Fine. /
[ Hey! ]
Don't!
[ You asshole! Bring him the fuck back! ]
I can't.
[ You just sent him away! ]
I didn't... /want/ to.
[ Hell you didn't. ]
I didn't...
[ Bring him back. ]
I don't know how.
[ Bring him back! ]
I don't know how!
[ Useless. ]
I just want...
[ The fuck should /I/ care what you want? You don't even /know/ what you want! ]
I don't know...
[ Bring him back. ]
I can't. I don't know how.
[ Fine. ]
No.
[ You want the silence so bad... ]
I don't.
[ Have it. ]
I can't...
[ I'm gone. ]
Don't leave!
It's too much! I can't- I can't...
/ Lord, but you are a sorry one. /
Go away.
[ Crybaby. ]
/ I came back just to keep you from spazzing. Some gratitude. /
[ Listen to him sniffling. ]
Leave me alone.
/ So you want the silence. /
No.
[ 'No'. ]
/ I like the silence. /
[ Boring. ]
Don't... not again...
/ You like the noise? /
No.
[ Yes. ]
It hurts.
[ Feh. ]
It's tearing at my mind listening to you.
/ The silence helps. /
[ Shut up about that. The silence is damn boring. ]
The silence won't leave me alone.
[ Too quiet. Too frustrating. ]
It won't go away.
/ I like it. /
[ You would. ]
/ You wouldn't. /
Be quiet.
/ Don't you not like the silence? /
[ But the noise hurts. Wuss. ]
I can't think. I can't listen to this.
/ You can't think at all. /
[ He doesn't know anything. ]
Leave me alone.
/ Which you don't want. /
[ But he does. ]
Stop it.
[ You're confusing yourself. ]
Leave me alone.
/ You're only hurting yourself. /
Go away.
/ You don't want it again. /
[ You'll just start whining again. ]
Just stop.
[ No. ]
/ Not until you decide. /
I can't.
[ Just shut up and deal. ]
I can't live like this.
/ Aren't you? /
Don't. Don't. Don't.
[ Whine, whine, whine. ]
/ Always the same thing. /
Stop doing this to me.
/ You're doing this to yourself. /
[ He never stopped. ]
Please, just leave me alone.
[ Oh, so now he begs. ]
Go away.
/ Sorry sight. /
[ You know he can't make up his mind. ]
It hurts...
[ Suck it up. ]
/ It's never changed. /
I can't deal with this.
/ You don't even try. /
[ He makes no effort. ]
I can't... I can't take it...
/ Poor sod. /
[ You feel pity for him? ]
I want... something...
"You're zoning again."
He snapped out. "What?
He just grinned. "You were zoning again. You keep doing that."
"Er, sorry."
"Sure. What were you thinking about?"
Zero shook his head, trying to ignore how much the voices pounded around his skull. "Nothing. Just... nothing."
He shrugged. "Suit yourself." And he turned away.
He watched the other walk away, oblivious to the turmoil churning inside his friend. He flexed his hands, wincing. "X..." he choked softly. "Help me..."
Silence was frightening, the yawning chasm that stretched unbroken in the darkest recesses of the mind. It could never be filled, it could never be shattered, it could never lift its heavy oppressiveness from where it sat its fearsome grip.
But it could be detained. Not blocked, but ignored if not just for a moment. It was as much of a haven for those that feared the silence as the silence was for those that feared the maddening chaos of thought. But for some, there was no option either way. Living in fear of fear, to see which terror would break them at the next moment.
/ Quiet. /
No.
/ Quiet. /
[ Don't go telling /me/ what to do. ]
Don't start this.
[ Oh, so /you're/ going to get into this, too, huh? ]
/ Here we go. /
Why can't you stop?
[ Why don't you just shut up? ]
/ Yes, why not? The silence was so much nicer. /
The silence was unnerving.
[ Wuss. ]
/ Everything makes you nervous. /
I didn't want to listen to it.
/ The silence was calming. /
No.
[ Shut up. ]
/ Please do. /
[ Both of you. ]
You're not much better.
[ Stop whining. ]
/ All he ever does. /
You're making my head hurt.
/ There's always silence. /
[ That's boring. ]
Stop it.
[ You stop it.]
/ We all could simply stop. /
No. Don't.
[ Make up your damn mind. ]
/ Bundle of contradictions, this one. /
Shut up.
/ See? /
Shut up!
/ Oh, you really want us to? /
No.
[ Idiot. ]
The silence is frightening.
[ You're just a pussy. ]
Shut up.
/ Can you not say that every other sentence? /
Leave me alone.
[ Why don't /you/ leave? ]
I can't.
[ Why? The silence too much for you? ]
No.
/ He's too afraid to. /
No.
/ Yes. /
[ Pansy. ]
Go away.
/ You don't want us to. /
Yes I do.
/ Really? /
Yes.
/ Fine. /
[ Hey! ]
Don't!
[ You asshole! Bring him the fuck back! ]
I can't.
[ You just sent him away! ]
I didn't... /want/ to.
[ Hell you didn't. ]
I didn't...
[ Bring him back. ]
I don't know how.
[ Bring him back! ]
I don't know how!
[ Useless. ]
I just want...
[ The fuck should /I/ care what you want? You don't even /know/ what you want! ]
I don't know...
[ Bring him back. ]
I can't. I don't know how.
[ Fine. ]
No.
[ You want the silence so bad... ]
I don't.
[ Have it. ]
I can't...
[ I'm gone. ]
Don't leave!
It's too much! I can't- I can't...
/ Lord, but you are a sorry one. /
Go away.
[ Crybaby. ]
/ I came back just to keep you from spazzing. Some gratitude. /
[ Listen to him sniffling. ]
Leave me alone.
/ So you want the silence. /
No.
[ 'No'. ]
/ I like the silence. /
[ Boring. ]
Don't... not again...
/ You like the noise? /
No.
[ Yes. ]
It hurts.
[ Feh. ]
It's tearing at my mind listening to you.
/ The silence helps. /
[ Shut up about that. The silence is damn boring. ]
The silence won't leave me alone.
[ Too quiet. Too frustrating. ]
It won't go away.
/ I like it. /
[ You would. ]
/ You wouldn't. /
Be quiet.
/ Don't you not like the silence? /
[ But the noise hurts. Wuss. ]
I can't think. I can't listen to this.
/ You can't think at all. /
[ He doesn't know anything. ]
Leave me alone.
/ Which you don't want. /
[ But he does. ]
Stop it.
[ You're confusing yourself. ]
Leave me alone.
/ You're only hurting yourself. /
Go away.
/ You don't want it again. /
[ You'll just start whining again. ]
Just stop.
[ No. ]
/ Not until you decide. /
I can't.
[ Just shut up and deal. ]
I can't live like this.
/ Aren't you? /
Don't. Don't. Don't.
[ Whine, whine, whine. ]
/ Always the same thing. /
Stop doing this to me.
/ You're doing this to yourself. /
[ He never stopped. ]
Please, just leave me alone.
[ Oh, so now he begs. ]
Go away.
/ Sorry sight. /
[ You know he can't make up his mind. ]
It hurts...
[ Suck it up. ]
/ It's never changed. /
I can't deal with this.
/ You don't even try. /
[ He makes no effort. ]
I can't... I can't take it...
/ Poor sod. /
[ You feel pity for him? ]
I want... something...
"You're zoning again."
He snapped out. "What?
He just grinned. "You were zoning again. You keep doing that."
"Er, sorry."
"Sure. What were you thinking about?"
Zero shook his head, trying to ignore how much the voices pounded around his skull. "Nothing. Just... nothing."
He shrugged. "Suit yourself." And he turned away.
He watched the other walk away, oblivious to the turmoil churning inside his friend. He flexed his hands, wincing. "X..." he choked softly. "Help me..."