Chapter One
Lee pressed his fingers against the glass and prayed silently. The sound of oxygen being fed through the incubator into his daughter joined with the sound of the heart monitor counting out his wife's uneasy heartbeats. Fight, he willed them both. Don't leave me here alone.
For the millionth time he berated himself for getting Kara pregnant in the first place. They both knew the risks involved and yet let their hearts lead them instead of their heads. This time, the frightening cost would be too high. Kara had gone into cardiac arrest a few minutes after the birth and their little girl, Gods Kara, wake up so we can give her a name! was born a month too early, weighed only a little over 5 pounds and was suffering from...what had Cottle called it? Asphy-something. She couldn't breathe on her own. Never again, Lee promised himself. As soon as Cottle could manage it and everyone was out of the woods, Lee was going under the knife and snip, frakking, snip!
He tapped the glass lightly, trying to get some reaction from the tiny bundle inside. A small red finger twitched and Lee's eye's watered. He forced himself to not to do it again, the baby needed all her rest; all her strength to fight.
He turned towards Kara and sat down next to her bed. Lifting his hand, he brushed a few strands of hair from her forehead. "Kara, you are not going to give up now. Not after all of this. I won't let you." Lee leaned back in his chair and took a shaky breath. His muscles were cramped and sore from spending the past week sleeping in this damn chair and an only slightly more comfortable cot over by the green curtain.
But Helo was occupying the cot at the moment and Lee didn't have the heart to wake him up just yet. Sharon would come looking for him soon enough. So Lee sat in the chair in the dim room and lowered his chin to his chest.
When he woke he was lying on the cot and Tigh was sitting in Lee's seat, apparently beating the pants off a still groggy Kara at Triad. Lee blinked, not quite sure that really was Tigh sitting there.
"Colonel?" Lee asked sleepily. He yawned and pulled himself upright.
Tigh's bald head turned and he narrowed his eyes at Lee. "Your wife is not an only an insubordinate little scourge on this fleet, she's also a shameless cheat. She's your problem now." The older man rose to his feet and threw his cards at Kara.
"What? No re-match?" Kara asked, her voice husky and tired but when she met Lee's gaze, she smiled.
"I've put in my time. You're the Captain's problem now." He turned to Lee, who saluted him.
"How are you feeling?" Lee asked once Tigh left them alone. His heart lifted as he took Kara's hand. She was smiling. She'd be all right. Thank the Gods.
"Like I just gave birth to a Viper," she joked.
Lee squeezed her fingers as emotion swelled in his throat. He lowered his head, trying to collect himself.
"Hey, Lee. Hey, look at me. I'm gonna be okay. We're both gonna be okay," Kara assured him. When he couldn't meet her gaze, her voice took a decidedly firmer tone. "Captain, give me your eyes."
He lifted his gaze to hers and she gave him a bright grin. "Now give me your mouth."
Lee sighed with relief when he met her lips with his own. He resisted the urge to gather her in his arms and crush her to him. They would never; she would never go through this again, he promised silently.
He could feel her skin tremble against him and Lee pulled back slightly and ran his hand down her bare back. "Everything's okay now," he said echoing her words.
"She's gonna get bigger right?" Kara asked uneasily as Lee stood behind her.
"Yep, it'll be slow going but she'll get there," Cottle assured her.
She looked through the thick glass and then back at the two men skeptically.
"Don't worry about her size. I mean, you two aren't exactly bean stalks," Cottle reminded them. "She'll be off the respirator tomorrow. Tough little midget."
As if none too happy with being teased for her diminutive size, the baby's right eyelid fluttered open, then closed and her tiny eyebrows drew together before relaxing again.
"Oh did you see that? Did you see?" Kara asked exuberantly. "She woke up!" Tears filled her voice. "She did, right? I didn't just imagine that? Lee! Dammit, say something."
Lee nodded, too choked up to speak. They were both gonna be all right.
When he came back to Kara's room from a trip to grab her something to eat, she was staring at the incubator with fierce concentration. She was mumbling unintelligibly under her breath.
"Kara, it's been two hours. Get back in bed," Lee insisted pulling her wheelchair away from their little girl.
"Hey!" Kara pressed her hands over his on the wheels to stop them. "I'm not tired. I think she's gonna wake up again. Really."
Lee sighed and rolled his eyes. "All right, fine but let me bring the incubator to you. Get in bed. What use will you be to her if you hurt yourself?" He placed a hand at Kara's back and another under her arm to ease her transition back into the bed.
She winced as she sat and tucked her legs back under the covers. She sagged against the pillow, her limbs heavy. At Lee's familiar touch on her forehead she opened one eye. "I hope you didn't have your heart set on a boy 'cause I am never frakking doing this again. This bakery is closed."
Lee snorted and poured her a glass of water. She rolled her eyes when saw the two big pink pills cradled in his palm. "I already took those. Leave me alone."
"No, you took the yellow ones and that was this morning," Lee pointed out firmly.
"Don't think I don't know what you're doing. Doping me up so you can sneak around with that hot paramedic chick who was in here earlier," Kara grumbled.
"Can't get nothing past you. Now drink," Lee ordered.
"That frakking shit is just gonna put me to sleep again, Lee. What if she wakes up again while I'm out? What if she starts crying? What if she takes a turn for the worse? What if-"
"Kara, relax, okay? I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. If anything happens, anything, I'll wake you. I promise. Now please take these and shut up before you have a heart attack." He pushed the pills into her hand and wrapped her other hand around the plastic cup.
"You're lucky I'm in this bed or I'd shove these pills up your ass," Kara spat but she dutifully popped first one pill and then the other, chasing each with a gulp of water.
"We have those kinds of pills too if you'd prefer," Cottle joked coming around the curtain.
"Frak you," Kara grimaced, waiting for the unpleasant fog to come.
"Be nice, or I'll put that incubator back where it was," the doctor threatened, but he was smiling to indicate the emptiness of his words.
"She's really gonna be okay, right, Doc?" All belligerence was gone from her voice, replaced by niggling worry. Her baby was small but perfect. Too perfect to be the child of Kara Thrace. She let her eyes drift over the tiny pink curves of the little face. A painful thought whispered into her mind that she never got to see little Jamie like this, wrapped warm and tight and safe. Pink faced and wrinkled. Kara squeezed her eyes to keep those feelings from swamping her. She forced herself to see only this baby. The one she did have. Which one did she look most like? Kara or Lee, she wondered. People always said babies looked like this person or that person. How could they tell so early in the game? Was Kara just not looking right? Right now, the little bundle didn't look like anyone she knew. Maybe for a second there, when the baby had scrunched up her face at Cottle's 'midget' comment, she kind of reminded Kara of Lee, down to the little wrinkle between her tiny eyebrows that Lee had and maybe when she had opened her eye, it might have been blue in color. Was it that kind of stuff?
At Cottle's assurance once again that she really was gonna be fine, Lee dropped into the chair next to Kara's bed.
"I was thinking. We can't keep calling her just 'her', you know? She needs a name. The pilots are starting to call her 'Little Apollini'. We have to stop that before it catches on," Lee warned.
A nervous lump settled in her stomach and Kara had to remind herself that Cottle said their daughter was now in the clear.
The sympathetic look Lee gave her as he linked his fingers with hers told her that he knew that was the reason she'd been holding off naming her.
She lowered her gaze; sometimes it sucked having someone know you so well. Sometimes it was the warmest feeling in the world. Her eyes blurred with tears-frakking hormones-but Kara couldn't tell which of the two she was feeling at the moment. Truth be told, she didn't have the energy to try and figure it out. The effects of the pills were starting to kick in and a yawn escaped her. She shook her head, willing the drowsiness away.
"I always liked Maia or maybe Caroline? After my mother?" Lee asked.
"That sounds nice," Kara nodded, her mouth beginning to feel fuzzy as her vision. Oh geez. This discussion might be better at another time.
"I think the president is hoping we name her Laura. To freak out my dad I told him we were thinking of naming her Sharon. He was not amused."
Kara rubbed at her eyes. " 's long as it's not Ellen, I'm happy."
"All right, we'll table this until later. I'm losing you. But if we don't come up with something soon, Apollini is gonna become official before we can stop it." Lee leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead as she breathed deeply, falling under.
"No 'Apollini'. 'k, Lee? " Kara mumbled before she drifted off completely.
Lee sat back as her last words danced in his head, an idea forming. 'k, Lee," he said out loud. "Hmm."
A very tiny, nearly inaudible snort came from the incubator and Lee started laughing. "Kaylee it is then."