Title: Heartless
Rating: T
Pairing: Damon/Katherine/Elena
Warning: swearing, but only a little.
Spoilers: After founders day, no real timeline. AU.
Summary: she knows he has his suspicions, he sees that she is not her, he knows she will never be her.
Prompt: 'You Remind Me of Someone' for un_love_you at livejournal
Disclaimer: I own nothing, unfortunately.
AN: I will complete a prompt for the wish meme next! No, I haven't forgotten! So don't worry. I don't like this one as much, to be honest. It is my attempt at Katherine's character, hopefully I pegged her a bit right (though she gets more human, here). Not as flowy, but oh well. I'm curious for your reactions. And thank you so much for your wonderful response to my other fic… I was really pleasantly surprised! I am currently looking for a beta! If you're interested, do tell me :)
On a misty afternoon, like two good school children, they sit on the sofa together side by side yet not quite touching. The electric charge of static electricity builds up between their dead bodies, as she catches the piercing sideway glances he sends her, her vampire abilities ask her to look at him in return. He decides that there's something different about the way in which she sits, something different in her speech, and finally after watching her coo in response to Stefan, he decides she is trying to be somebody else. While he comes to this conclusion she prays to the non-existent power in the dark sky that he lets it go, because she needs a few more days to become her, she needs at least a few more hours, and a snack, to make him believe to be her.
She needs him to be the fool he was so many years ago.
Foolish and vulnerable he used to be, Damon Salvatore is certainly not like someone she remembers. He drew her in with his innocent eyes, his wolfish grin, his childlike carelessness and also his need to be needed.
She always did like to corrupt and destroy everything she touched, she muses gently as she stares at him from the stairs, he is barking commands at Alaric (a boy-toy she'd really like to experiment with, but figures he'll turn up as a vampire at some point, and then they'll have all the fun then.) Her hungry eyes darken as she hears his blood… then he notices her staring and averts her gaze, shuffling away to be with Stefan, she is impressed as she is doing it in such an Elena-like way, it seems almost eerie, so she thinks she has gotten off the hook this time, after all she might win an Oscar for this performance. Whilst thinking of all the people she will thank, she decides she will dedicate her gold statuette to the character she has cloaked herself with, she also makes a mental note to try and remember that her heart monitor needs adjusting later, as she must really speed her heart-rate up whenever she looks at Damon- this will really send both brothers into an emotional turmoil; and whilst she has had it on a steady beat the whole time, her mind can make her heart do wondrous things, even stop, she thinks.
She is holding Stefan's hand and talking to the witch, she gets a bad feeling about her the moment she lays eyes on her, and consequently avoids any physical and verbal contact... at this particular moment in time the little bitch is mumbling an apology and Stefan's eyes eat it up, Katherine wants to vomit. It is then she realises that maybe being Elena Gilbert is even worse than being Katherine Pierce. There are so many expectations. She nods whilst Stefan says something and he is looking passionately into the hag's eyes- a private joke, and she is forced to laugh like a good friend, and in turn completely extinguishing the fire between them.
That day she sits in the bedroom and wonders what it means to be her, the real deal... the angel with the straight, shiny hair and big luminous eyes, actually she simply wonders what it is about Elena Gilbert which has made her so insecure and almost unfixable. She wonders whether he notices the way she looks at him, that even though she knows he has his suspicions, he sees that she is not her, he knows she will never be her.
In Katherine's mind Damon is like a puppy, she wants to scratch the back of his ears because he is always so eager to please. It annoys her to no end because he's turned so human, and worse she's found it endearing, he's trying.
(For Elena, but not that she'd ever admit it).
She cannot change the way her lips move, certainly she can mimic somebody else, and even change her scent to make another vampire believe what they smell is not the 'real' her, but in the end she's really just become the shadow of who the other person is. Katherine hopes this is what Elena felt like whilst she was with Stefan, she hopes that Elena was her shadow, but she gets the feeling that her hungry, dark eyes were no match for the flickers of light that both brothers see in hers. That thought alone angers her, but he watches her so closely that she can't even take it out on a few measly humans.
Damon likes to observe everything about a person, he has to know what makes a person tick, but also what makes a person weak to the knees with l-o-v-e, he usually accomplishes this task by being able to read people, (make no mistake- he is a real master at this craft); he knows their each habit, their each unique gesture. Naturally, he notices that her speech manner is different; her lips move a fraction of a second slower and than a fraction of a second faster when she's nervous. He wonders why this is, he observes her, finding little "Elena mistakes", and he has his suspicions, his almost conspiracy theories. She looks the same, she is meant to feel the same, but she doesn't. Maybe he thinks it is him? Maybe he has finally lost his mind?
He wonders if Elena realises he has a map to navigate around her, he know where to lean, where to touch, how to speak; in these first few days she is pretending he tests her, she fails almost every single test and he tells himself to be vary… something is definitely not right, and it goes beyond her altered speech pattern. (Maybe he's over-analysing everything but usually Damon is very rarely wrong, and being a master at detecting habits he knows Elena's better than his own- and that's saying something)
Coincidentally, Katherine never once considers that the reason Damon finds her strange is because her heart didn't speed up when she clearly inhaled his scent, or it didn't speed up when he especially leaned into her because he knew he'd get a reaction from 'Elena'. She thinks that he's just become more paranoid because of abandonment issues (not that she particularly helped in that aspect of his life) So no, this thought never once crosses her mind that maybe Elena and Damon have an "unspoken connection" and they know how to push one another's buttons, and therefore no reaction from her means either a) something is wrong or b) something is not right. (He has his heart set on 'b' as he cannot believe that Elena is unaffected by him.)
She asks him once why he thinks she's so different to Katherine, after babbling absentmindedly a knavish excuse about insecurities and Stefan, in response his bored voice asks her "Elena, Elena, when will you get it through your strikingly resembling head that when we look at you we see the complete opposite to the little bitch", his hostile hiss makes her flinch slightly, even in her perfected routine of acting like a love-sick yet guarded puppy around him, she waits patiently for him to continue. "Katherine is manipulative and heartless, she only knows how to play games, and you on the other hand are all sweet and innocent and well, really? You know what that woman can do." Her lips form a thin, straight line, and she smiles politely and mumbles her thanks. His broken eyes scrutinize hers, and for once in her incredibly long life she wants to fix what she broke.
He's sharing this moment with Elena Gilbert, opening up his dusty soul to hers.
The feeling of jealousy which overcomes her is strange and unwelcome, moreover she thinks that if he ever finds out it is her, Katherine, "the heartless bitch", she will definitely never be forgiven for this broken animal in front of her, as she holds him tightly whilst he howls with tears, she doesn't ask questions- though its burning her from the inside to know why, but she sticks to this Elena persona, so she sits and strokes his back finding that in this moment: it was for a very good reason she chose Damon Salvatore.
The first and possibly the greatest reason was that she had an incredible complex for wanting destruction, she figured if she couldn't have fun, why bother? It was no secret she valued her life more than any other, people came and went... she always came and went. Not having to feel anything, there was no right or wrong within Katherine, she was that blurred line everyone at some point in their lives steps on. This, her being somebody else- it was taking a toll on her, and she finds herself craving this incredible structure around Elena… her home, her family. She lies awake at night, breathing her family in, and finds herself liking how caring Jeremy is, how fragile Jenna has become (she, even, doesn't want to rip their throats out whenever they attempt to hug her, she finds it cute, this entire family bonding thing they have going for them.)
Elena Gilbert was a complex character to play, and it was making Katherine question everything she stood for, her mind was itching to feel all the pain she thought she had turned off. She thinks that when she does choose to do it… to commit herself to eternal torture she may end up losing both of the Salvatore brothers, Stefan won't forgive her and Elena's the one making Damon forget her. So again, all she can do is have a million questions to hold to herself, and she presses his body further into her own and waits until her pain, and his alike has gone away.
When 'Elena' tries to kiss him again, he tells her she will never be the real deal, she thinks she knows exactly who he means.
Her dark eyes give her away, and she mumbles something about how 'I'm not Katherine', and Damon stares in response, she feels the irony bite at her concrete heart. She asks him to leave because she can't stand to be around both brothers, and they really wouldn't want history to repeat. Even in her mind she doesn't really find it, this new game, amusing anymore; she wonders whether she should stick it out, go all the way and attempt to hold her cards to her chest but she is unsure. Her hesitance is what gives her away, he is watching closer after her attempt.
He kisses her she is lost in the moment after he completely swipes her off her feet and her breathy 'Damon' is something she would say in her own tone of voice. He stares at her in disgust and shakes his head once more. "Get out, Katherine". She damns his eyes, him, to hell and back, as she drives away.
He smirks, and thinks, when she decides to go out on a feast trip... And there was no way he was leaving because she wants to play with them, again. Though he doesn't care about his brother, he feels it would be unfair to put him through that deception again, after all if his brother can go vegetarian (he thinks this with utter disgust) he might stake himself after the next time Katherine fucks them over, and really that was the next big thing after vegetarianism, he realises and convinces himself that he doesn't care, at all. (And also ignores his burning questions about Elena, where, how, and why she was missing, and whether she was okay, and tries to reassure his buzzing mind that no, her definitely does not care.
Her mask is revealed, Stefan's gasp of horror is nothing short of dramatic, and the flames around her are a wall between her and them.
Damon's concerned eyes make her smile, she can tell his facade isn't real, she broke him, yes, but only she has the ability to fix him. Katherine refuses to acknowledge that Elena might have more importance to him than she, because she knows how his mind works; he only wants somebody to believe in him. Only when he had gone down the slippery dark corridor, she was the one to push him into the never-ending black hole.
Maybe that was her one fatal mistake?
She tore right into his skin, her hands tearing at his soul, tugging the strings until they broke. That was the problem with Katherine, she had to pull at everything, it wasn't a matter of manipulating a person, she would try to wear everyone's strings away, hoping that once she set them free they'd follow her... unless she chose to leave them, of course. She left the Salvatores because she couldn't really make up her mind. She wanted to have her cake and devour it too.
So yes, sometimes she wonders what it feels like not to carry the burden of so many lost lives. She wonders what it feels like to be one Elena Gilbert, (her head adorned with a floating halo, the little light inside Damon's black hole) and not Katherine Pierce- the girl who stole and broke two hearts.
She simply lets go and her pain is her final destruction.
thoughts?